The Project Gutenberg eBook of Gulliver's Travels, by Jonathan

Swift

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most

other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever.

You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project

Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will have to check the laws of the

country where you are located before using this eBook.

Title: Gulliver's Travels

Author: Jonathan Swift

Illustrator: Milo Winter

Release Date: May 31, 2021 [eBook #65473]

Language: English

Character set encoding: UTF-8

Produced by: Juliet Sutherland and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team at

https://www.pgdp.net

*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GULLIVER'S

TRAVELS ***

“I found my arms and legs were strongly fastened on each side to the ground”

Page 8

THE WINDERMERE SERIES

GULLIVER’S

TRAVELS

By JONATHAN SWIFT

with illustrations by

MILO WINTER

RAND McNALLY & COMPANY

New York

Chicago

San Francisco

Copyright, 1912, by

RAND MCNALLY & COMPANY

All rights reserved

Edition of 1936

Made in U. S. A.

THE CONTENTS

PAGE

The List of Illustrations

xi

A Biographical Note

1

A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT

CHAPTER I

The Author gives some Account of Himself and Family—His first

Inducements to Travel—He is shipwrecked, and swims for his Life

—Gets safe on Shore in the Country of Lilliput—Is made a Prisoner,

and carried up the Country

5

CHAPTER II

The Emperor of Lilliput, attended by several of the Nobility, comes to

see the Author in his Confinement—The Emperor’s Person and

Habits described—Learned Men appointed to teach the Author their

Language—He gains Favor by his Mild Disposition—His Pockets

are searched, and his Sword and Pistols taken from him

18

CHAPTER III

The Author diverts the Emperor, and his Nobility of both Sexes, in a very

Uncommon Manner—The Diversions of the Court of Lilliput

described—The Author has his Liberty granted him, upon Certain

Conditions

30

CHAPTER IV

Mildendo, the Metropolis of Lilliput, described, together with the

Emperor’s Palace—A Conversation between the Author and a

Principal Secretary, concerning the Affairs of that Empire—The

Author’s Offers to serve the Emperor in his Wars

40

CHAPTER V

The Author, by an Extraordinary Stratagem, prevents an Invasion—A

high Title of Honor is conferred upon him—Ambassadors arrive

from the Emperor of Blefuscu, and sue for Peace

47

CHAPTER VI

Of the Inhabitants of Lilliput; their Learning, Laws, and Customs; the

Manner of educating their Children—The Author’s Way of Living

in that Country—His Vindication of a Great Lady

54

CHAPTER VII

The Author being informed of a Design to accuse him of High Treason,

makes his Escape to Blefuscu—His Reception there

67

CHAPTER VIII

The Author, by a lucky Accident, finds Means to leave Blefuscu; and,

after some Difficulties, returns safe to his Native Country

77

A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG

CHAPTER I

A great Storm described; the Longboat sent to fetch Water; the Author

goes with it to discover the Country—He is left on Shore, is seized

by one of the Natives, and carried to a Farmer’s House—His

Reception there, with several Accidents that happened to him—A

Description of the Inhabitants

85

CHAPTER II

A Description of the Farmer’s Daughter—The Author carried to a Market

Town, and then to the Metropolis—The Particulars of his Journey

100

CHAPTER III

The Author sent for to Court—The Queen buys him of his Master, the

Farmer, and presents him to the King—He disputes with His

Majesty’s great Scholars—An Apartment at Court provided for the

Author—He is in high Favor with the Queen—He stands up for the

Honor of his own Country—His Quarrels with the Queen’s Dwarf

107

CHAPTER IV

The Country described—A Proposal for correcting Modern Maps—The

King’s Palace, and some Account of the Metropolis—The Author’s

Way of Traveling—The Chief Temple described

120

CHAPTER V

Several Adventures that happened to the Author—The Execution of a

126

Criminal—The Author shows his Skill in Navigation

CHAPTER VI

Several Contrivances of the Author to please the King and Queen—He

shows his Skill in Music—The King inquires into the State of

Europe, which the Author relates to him—The King’s Observations

thereon

136

CHAPTER VII

The Author’s Love of his Country—He makes a Proposal of much

Advantage to the King, which is rejected—The King’s great

Ignorance in Politics—The Learning of that Country very imperfect

and confined—The Laws and Military Affairs and Parties in the

State

147

CHAPTER VIII

The King and Queen make a Progress to the Frontiers—The Author

attends them—The Manner in which he leaves the Country very

particularly related—He returns to England

155

A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI, LUGGNAGG, GLUBBDUBDRIB

AND JAPAN

CHAPTER I

The Author sets out on his Third Voyage—Is taken by Pirates—The

Malice of a Dutchman—His Arrival at an Island—He is received

into Laputa

169

CHAPTER II

The Humors and Dispositions of the Laputians described—An Account

of their Learning—Of the King and his Court—The Author’s

Reception there—The Inhabitants subject to Fears and Disquietudes

—An Account of the Women

176

CHAPTER III

A Phenomenon solved by modern Philosophy and Astronomy—The

Laputians’ great Improvements in the Latter—The King’s Method

of suppressing Insurrections

187

CHAPTER IV

The Author leaves Laputa—Is conveyed to Balnibarbi—Arrives at the Metropolis—A Description of the Metropolis and the Country

adjoining—The Author hospitably received by a Great Lord—His

Conversation with that Lord

194

CHAPTER V

The Author permitted to see the Grand Academy of Lagado—The

Academy largely described—The Arts wherein the Professors

employ themselves

201

CHAPTER VI

A further Account of the Academy—The Author proposes some

Improvements, which are honorably received

209

CHAPTER VII

The Author leaves Lagado—Arrives at Maldonada—No Ship ready—He

takes a short Voyage to Glubbdubdrib—His Reception by the

Governor

216

CHAPTER VIII

A further Account of Glubbdubdrib—Ancient and modern History

corrected

221

CHAPTER IX

The Author’s Return to Maldonada—Sails to the Kingdom of Luggnagg

—The Author confined—He is sent for to Court—The Manner of

his Admittance—The King’s great Lenity to his Subjects

228

CHAPTER X

The Luggnaggians commended—A Particular Description of the

Struldbrugs, with many Conversations between the Author and

some Eminent Persons upon that Subject

233

CHAPTER XI

The Author leaves Luggnagg, and sails to Japan—From thence he returns

in a Dutch Ship to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam to England

244

A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS

CHAPTER I

The Author sets out as Captain of a Ship—His Men conspire against him,

confine him a Long Time to his Cabin, and set him on Shore in an

Unknown Land—He travels up in the Country—The Yahoos, a

strange Sort of Animal, described—The Author meets two

Houyhnhnms

249

CHAPTER II

The Author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his House—The House

described—The

Author’s

Reception—The

Food

of

the

Houyhnhnms—The Author in Distress for Want of Meat is at last

relieved—His Manner of Feeding in this Country

257

CHAPTER III

The Author studious to learn the Language—The Houyhnhnm his Master

assists in teaching him—The Language described—Several

Houyhnhnms of Quality come out of Curiosity to see the Author—

He gives his Master a Short Account of his Voyage

265

CHAPTER IV

The Houyhnhnms’ Notion of Truth and Falsehood—The Author’s

Discourse disapproved by his Master—The Author gives a more

particular Account of himself, and the Accidents of his Voyage

272

CHAPTER V

The Author at his Master’s Command, informs him of the State of

England—The Causes of War among the Princes of Europe—The

Author begins to explain the English Constitution

279

CHAPTER VI

A Continuation of the State of England under Queen Anne—The

Character of a first Minister of State in some European Courts

289

CHAPTER VII

The Author’s great Love of his Native Country—His Master’s

Observations upon the Constitution and Administration of England,

as described by the Author, with parallel Cases and Comparisons—

His Master’s Observations upon Human Nature

297

CHAPTER VIII

The Author relates several Particulars of the Yahoos—The great Virtues

of the Houyhnhnms—The Education and Exercise of their Youth—

Their General Assembly

305

CHAPTER IX

A grand Debate at the General Assembly of the Houyhnhnms, and how it

was determined—The Learning of the Houyhnhnms—Their

Buildings—Their Manner of Burials—The Defectiveness of their

Language

311

CHAPTER X

The Author’s Economy and Happy Life among the Houyhnhnms—His

great Improvement in Virtue by conversing with them—Their

Conversations—The Author has Notice given him by his Master

that he must depart from the Country—He falls into a Swoon for

Grief, but submits—He contrives and finishes a Canoe by the Help

of a Fellow Servant, and puts to Sea at a Venture

318

CHAPTER XI

The Author’s dangerous Voyage—He arrives at New Holland, hoping to

settle there—Is wounded with an Arrow by one of the Natives—Is

seized and carried by Force into a Portuguese Ship—The great

Civilities of the Captain—The Author arrives at England

327

CHAPTER XII

The Author’s Veracity—His Design in publishing this Work—His

Censure of those Travelers who swerve from the Truth—The Author

clears himself from any Sinister Ends in writing—An Objection

answered—The Method of planting Colonies—His Native Country

commended—The Right of the Crown to those Countries described

by the Author is justified—The Difficulty of conquering them—The

Author takes his Last Leave of the Reader; proposes his Manner of

Living for the Future; gives Good Advice, and concludes

337

THE LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

Facing

“I FOUND MY ARMS AND LEGS WERE STRONGLY FASTENED ON EACH SIDE TO

THE GROUND”

Title

“I LIKEWISE DELIVERED UP MY WATCH, WHICH THE EMPEROR WAS VERY

CURIOUS TO SEE”

26

“THEY PERCEIVED THE WHOLE FLEET MOVING IN ORDER”

50

“I HAVE PASSED MANY AN AFTERNOON VERY AGREEABLY IN THESE

CONVERSATIONS”

64

“THESE HORRIBLE ANIMALS HAD THE BOLDNESS TO ATTACK ME ON BOTH

SIDES”

96

“I BANGED IT A GOOD WHILE WITH ONE OF MY SCULLS”

128

“I HEARD A NOISE OVER MY HEAD LIKE THE CLAPPING OF WINGS”

160

“AT LAST WE ENTERED THE PALACE”

182

“HE HAD BEEN EIGHT YEARS UPON A PROJECT FOR EXTRACTING SUNBEAMS

OUT OF CUCUMBERS”

206

“I SAW COMING TOWARDS THE HOUSE A KIND OF VEHICLE DRAWN LIKE A

SLEDGE BY FOUR YAHOOS”

260

A BIOGRAPHICAL NOTE

Jonathan Swift, whose name stands unchallenged at the head of the list of

English satirists, was born on Irish soil, for it was in Dublin on November 30, 1667, that he opened his eyes upon a career in which fortune and misfortune alternated in swift succession for seventy-eight years. Before his birth his father

died, and his youth was embittered by the grudging provision made by an uncle

for his education. Though a keen lover of history and poetry, he held in high disdain the ordinary study routine and the various regulations which govern

institutions, obtaining his degree from Trinity College in Ireland’s capital city only by grace of special indulgence.

Restless and resentful and unhappy, when the Revolution of 1688 drove him

forth from the Emerald Isle, he sought employment in England, and while

secretary to Sir William Temple, a statesman of no ordinary culture and ability,

qualified himself for the literary work which has made his name famous for two

centuries. Then wearying of dependence, he returned to Ireland and resolved to

enter the Church.

As prelate and later as politician his name never rang with the praise which early rewarded the efforts of his pen, for as a master of “humor, irony, and invective he has no superior.” His love affairs were disastrous and reflect only discredit upon his manhood, but to the strength of his passion for Esther

Johnson, or “Stella,” whom it is contended that he secretly married but never acknowledged, and for Vanessa—Miss Vanhomrigh—are due the great works

that immortalized them.

The Tale of the Tub first betrayed his transcendent genius and irresistible wit, but the grave humor of all his other productions which were not really serious in

character, paled before the keen satire and ludicrous exaggeration of Gulliver’s Travels. Its covert ridicule of rulers, courts, statesmen, and political organizations was so severe and cut so ruthlessly and cruelly deep, that only its

diabolical cleverness prevented its suppression and instead lent it an

unprecedented popularity. It is so true, so simple in expression, its searching irony so based on the frailties of human nature; it is so comic, and yet its tone so

whimsically solemn, that it provides prodigious enjoyment for thousands who

never catch a glimpse of—much less grasp—its inner meaning.

But the veiled significance is unmistakably there, for the voyage to Lilliput is merely a revelation of the policy of the English court during the reign of George

I; the trip to Brobdingnag affords opportunity for picturing an ideal ruler and government; the journey to Laputa holds up to contumely the proceedings of the

British Royal Society, while the visit to the Houyhnhnms is a rabid satire against

humanity.

And after achievements which deservedly won the plaudits of the master

brains among his contemporaries, and continue to reflect on him lasting glory, this gifted man four years before his death on October 19, 1745, sank into a condition of dementia. But though the powers of his marvelous, eccentric mind

weakened and finally failed, “his works do follow him,” for he contributed to the

world’s literature one of the most delightful children’s books ever written, and his name echoes through history as the clerical exposer of human frailties in a manner to call forth only innocent mirth.

A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT

CHAPTER I

THE AUTHOR GIVES SOME ACCOUNT OF HIMSELF AND FAMILY—HIS FIRST

INDUCEMENTS TO TRAVEL—HE IS SHIPWRECKED, AND SWIMS FOR HIS LIFE—

GETS SAFE ON SHORE IN THE COUNTRY OF LILLIPUT—IS MADE A PRISONER, AND

CARRIED UP THE COUNTRY.

My father had a small estate in Nottinghamshire; I was the third of five sons.

He sent me to Emanuel College in Cambridge, at fourteen years old, where I

resided three years, and applied myself close to my studies; but the charge of maintaining me, although I had a very scanty allowance, being too great for a narrow fortune, I was bound apprentice to Mr. James Bates, an eminent surgeon

in London, with whom I continued four years; and my father now and then

sending me small sums of money, I laid them out in learning navigation, and other parts of the mathematics, useful to those who intend to travel, as I always

believed it would be, some time or other, my fortune to do. When I left Mr.

Bates, I went down to my father; where, by the assistance of him and my uncle

John, and some other relations, I got forty pounds, and a promise of thirty pounds a year to maintain me at Leyden; there I studied physic two years and seven months, knowing it would be useful in long voyages.

Soon after my return from Leyden, I was recommended by my good master,

Mr. Bates, to be surgeon to the Swallow, Captain Abraham Pannell, commander;

with whom I continued three years and a half, making a voyage or two into the

Levant, and some other parts. When I came back I resolved to settle in London;

to which Mr. Bates, my master, encouraged me, and by him I was recommended

to several patients. I took part of a small house in the Old-Jury; and being advised to alter my condition, I married Mistress Mary Burton, second daughter

to Mr. Edmund Burton, hosier, in Newgate Street, with whom I received four

hundred pounds for a portion.

But my good master Bates dying two years after, and I having few friends, my

business began to fail; for my conscience would not suffer me to imitate the bad

practice of too many among my brethren. Having, therefore, consulted with my

wife and some of my acquaintance, I determined to go again to sea. I was

surgeon successively in two ships, and made several voyages, for six years, to the East and West Indies, by which I got some addition to my fortune. My hours

of leisure I spent in reading the best authors, ancient and modern, being always

provided with a good number of books; and when I was ashore, in observing the

manners and dispositions of the people, as well as learning their language, wherein I had a great facility, by the strength of my memory.

The last of these voyages not proving very fortunate, I grew weary of the sea,

and intended to stay at home with my wife and family. I removed from the Old-

Jury to Fetter Lane, and from thence to Wapping, hoping to get business among

the sailors, but it would not turn to account. After three years’ expectation that things would mend, I accepted an advantageous offer from Captain William

Prichard, master of the Antelope, who was making a voyage to the South Sea.

We set sail from Bristol, May 4, 1699, and our voyage at first was very

prosperous.

It would not be proper, for some reasons, to trouble the reader with the

particulars of our adventures in those seas; let it suffice to inform him, that in our

passage from thence to the East Indies, we were driven by a violent storm to the

northwest of Van Diemen’s Land. By an observation, we found ourselves in the

latitude of 30 degrees 2 minutes south. Twelve of our crew were dead by

immoderate labor and ill food: the rest were in a very weak condition. On the 5th

of November, which was the beginning of summer in those parts, the weather

being very hazy, the seamen spied a rock within half a cable’s length of the ship,

but the wind was so strong that we were driven directly upon it, and immediately

split. Six of the crew, of whom I was one, having let down the boat into the sea,

made a shift to get clear of the ship and the rock. We rowed, by my computation,

about three leagues, till we were able to work no longer, being already spent with

labor while we were in the ship. We therefore trusted ourselves to the mercy of

the waves, and in about half an hour the boat was overset by a sudden flurry from the north. What became of my companions in the boat, as well as of those

who escaped on the rock, or were left in the vessel, I cannot tell, but conclude they were all lost. For my own part, I swam as fortune directed me, and was pushed forward by wind and tide. I often let my legs drop, and could feel no bottom, but when I was almost gone, and able to struggle no longer, I found myself within my depth; and by this time the storm was much abated. The

declivity was so small, that I walked near a mile before I got to the shore, which

I conjectured was about eight o’clock in the evening. I then advanced forward near half a mile, but could not discover any sign of houses or inhabitants; at least

I was in so weak a condition that I did not observe them. I was extremely tired,

and with that, and the heat of the weather, and about half a pint of brandy that I

drank as I left the ship, I found myself much inclined to sleep. I lay down on the

grass, which was very short and soft, where I slept sounder than ever I remember

to have done in my life, and, as I reckoned, about nine hours; for when I

awakened, it was just daylight. I attempted to rise, but was not able to stir; for, as I happened to lie on my back, I found my arms and legs were strongly fastened

on each side to the ground; and my hair, which was long and thick, tied down in

the same manner. I likewise felt several slender ligatures across my body, from

my arm-pits to my thighs. I could only look upwards; the sun began to grow hot,

and the light offended my eyes. I heard a confused noise about me; but in the posture I lay, could see nothing except the sky. In a little time, I felt something

alive moving on my left leg, which advancing gently forward over my breast,

came almost up to my chin; when, bending my eyes downwards as much as I

could, I perceived it to be a human creature not six inches high, with a bow and

an arrow in his hands and a quiver at his back. In the meantime I felt at least forty more of the same kind (as I conjectured) following the first. I was in the utmost astonishment, and roared so loud that they all ran back in a fright, and some of them, as I was afterwards told, were hurt by the falls they got by leaping

from my sides upon the ground. However, they soon returned, and one of them

who ventured so far as to get a full sight of my face, lifting up his hands and eyes by way of admiration, cried out in a shrill but distinct voice, Hekinah degul!

The others repeated the same words several times, but I then knew not what it meant. I lay all this while, as the reader may believe, in great uneasiness; at length, struggling to get loose, I had the fortune to break the strings, and wrench

out the pegs that fastened my left arm to the ground, for, by lifting it up to my

face, I discovered the methods they had taken to bind me, and at the same time

with a violent pull, which gave me excessive pain, I a little loosened the strings

that tied down my hair on the left side, so that I was just able to turn my head

about two inches. But the creatures ran off a second time, before I could seize them; whereupon there was a great shout in a very shrill accent, and after it had

ceased I heard one of them cry aloud, Tolgo phonac; when in an instant I felt above a hundred arrows discharged on my left hand, which pricked me like so many needles; and besides they shot another flight into the air, as we do bombs

in Europe, whereof many, I suppose, fell on my body (though I felt them not) and some on my face, which I immediately covered with my left hand. When

this shower of arrows was over, I fell a-groaning with grief and pain, and then striving again to get loose, they discharged another volley larger than the first, and some of them attempted with spears to stick me in the sides; but by good luck I had on me a buff jerkin, which they could not pierce. I thought it the most

prudent method to lie still, and my design was to continue so till night, when, my

left hand being already loose, I could easily free myself: and as for the

inhabitants, I had reason to believe I might be a match for the greatest army they

could bring against me, if they were all of the same size with him that I saw. But

fortune disposed otherwise of me. When the people observed I was quiet, they discharged no more arrows; but, by the noise I heard, I knew their numbers

increased; and about four yards from me, over against my right ear, I heard a knocking for above an hour, like that of people at work; when turning my head

that way, as well as the pegs and strings would permit me, I saw a stage erected

about a foot and a half from the ground, capable of holding four of the

inhabitants, with two or three ladders to mount it: whence one of them, who seemed to be a person of quality, made me a long speech, whereof I understood

not a syllable. But I should have mentioned, that before the principal person began his oration, he cried out three times, Langro dehul san (these words and the former were afterwards repeated and explained to me). Whereupon,

immediately about fifty of the inhabitants came and cut the string that fastened

the left side of my head, which gave me the liberty of turning it to the right, and

of observing the person and gesture of him that was to speak. He appeared to be

of middle age, and taller than any of the other three who attended him, whereof

one was a page that held up his train, and seemed to be somewhat longer than my middle finger; the other two stood one on each side to support him. He acted

every part of an orator, and I could observe many periods of threatenings, and others of promises, pity, and kindness. I answered in a few words, but in the most submissive manner, lifting up my left hand and both my eyes to the sun, as

calling him for a witness; and being almost famished with hunger, not having eaten a morsel for some hours before I left the ship, I found the demands of nature so strong upon me that I could not forbear showing my impatience

(perhaps against the strict rules of decency), by putting my finger frequently to

my mouth, to signify that I wanted food. The hurgo (for so they call a great lord, as I afterwards learned) understood me very well. He descended from the stage,

and commanded that several ladders should be applied to my sides, on which

about a hundred of the inhabitants mounted, and walked towards my mouth,

laden with baskets full of meat, which had been provided and sent thither by the

king’s orders, upon the first intelligence he received of me. I observed there was

the flesh of several animals, but could not distinguish them by the taste. There were shoulders, legs and loins, shaped like those of mutton, and very well

dressed, but smaller than the wings of a lark. I ate them by two or three at a mouthful, and took three loaves at a time about the bigness of musketballs. They

supplied me as fast as they could, showing a thousand marks of wonder and

astonishment at my bulk and appetite.

I then made another sign that I wanted drink. They found by my eating that a

small quantity would not suffice me; and being a most ingenious people, they

slung up, with great dexterity, one of their largest hogsheads, then rolled it towards my hand, and beat out the top; I drank it off at a draught, which I might

well do, for it did not hold half a pint, and tasted like a small wine of Burgundy,

but much more delicious. They brought me a second hogshead, which I drank in

the same manner, and made signs for more: but they had none to give me. When

I had performed these wonders they shouted for joy, and danced upon my breast,

repeating several times as they did at first, Hekinah degul. They made me a sign that I should throw down the two hogsheads, but first warned the people below

to stand out of the way, crying aloud, Borach mevola: and when they saw the vessels in the air there was a universal shout of Hekinah degul. I confess I was often tempted, while they were passing backwards and forwards on my body, to

seize forty or fifty of the first that came in my reach and dash them against the

ground. But the remembrance of what I had felt, which probably might not be the worst they could do, and the promise of honor I made to them—for so I interpreted my submissive behavior—soon drove out these imaginations.

Besides, I now considered myself as bound by the laws of hospitality to a people

who had treated me with so much expense and magnificence. However, in my

thoughts I could not sufficiently wonder at the intrepidity of these diminutive mortals, who durst venture to mount and walk upon my body while one of my

hands was at liberty, without trembling at the very sight of so prodigious a creature as I must appear to them. After some time, when they observed that I made no more demands for meat, there appeared before me a person of high

rank from his imperial majesty. His excellency, having mounted on the small of

my right leg, advanced forwards up to my face, with about a dozen of his

retinue, and producing his credentials under the signet royal, which he applied close to my eyes, spoke about ten minutes without any signs of anger, but with a

kind of determinate resolution: often pointing forwards, which, as I afterwards found, was towards the capital city, about half a mile distant, whither it was agreed by his majesty in council that I must be conveyed. I answered in few words, but to no purpose, and made a sign with my hand that was loose, putting

it to the other (but over his excellency’s head for fear of hurting him or his train),

and then to my own head and body, to signify that I desired my liberty. It appeared that he understood me well enough, for he shook his head by way of disapprobation, and held his hands in a posture to show that I must be carried as

a prisoner. However, he made other signs, to let me understand that I should have meat and drink enough, and very good treatment. Whereupon I once more

thought of attempting to break my bonds; but again, when I felt the smart of their

arrows upon my face and hands, which were all in blisters, and many of the darts

still sticking in them, and observing likewise that the number of my enemies

increased, I gave tokens to let them know that they might do with me what they pleased. Upon this the hurgo and his train withdrew, with much civility and cheerful countenances. Soon after I heard a general shout, with frequent

repetitions of the words, peplom selan; and I felt great numbers of people on my left side relaxing the cords to such a degree that I was able to turn upon my right.

But, before this, they had daubed my face and both my hands with a sort of ointment, very pleasant to the smell, which in a few minutes removed all the smart of their arrows. These circumstances, added to the refreshment I had

received by their victuals and drink, which were very nourishing, disposed me to

sleep. I slept about eight hours, as I was afterwards assured; and it was no wonder, for the physicians, by the emperor’s order, had mingled a sleepy potion

in the hogsheads of wine.

It seems that upon the first moment I was discovered sleeping on the ground,

after my landing, the emperor had early notice of it by an express; and

determined in council that I should be tied in the manner I have related (which

was done in the night while I slept), that plenty of meat and drink should be sent

me, and a machine prepared to carry me to the capital city.

This resolution perhaps may appear very bold and dangerous, and I am

confident would not be imitated by any prince in Europe on the like occasion.

However, in my opinion, it was extremely prudent, as well as generous; for

supposing these people had endeavored to kill me with their spears and arrows

while I was asleep, I should certainly have awaked with the first sense of smart,

which might have so far aroused my rage and strength as to have enabled me to

break the strings wherewith I was tied; after which, as they were not able to make resistance, so they could expect no mercy.

These people are most excellent mathematicians, and arrived to a great

perfection in mechanics by the countenance and encouragement of the emperor,

who is a renowned patron of learning. This prince has several machines fixed on

wheels for the carriage of trees and other great weights. He often builds his largest men of war, whereof some are nine feet long, in the woods where the timber grows, and has them carried on these engines three or four hundred yards

to the sea. Five hundred carpenters and engineers were immediately set at work

to prepare the greatest engine they had. It was a frame of wood raised three inches from the ground, about seven feet long and four wide, moving upon

twenty-two wheels. The shout I heard was upon the arrival of this engine, which,

it seems, set out in four hours after my landing. It was brought parallel to me as I

lay. But the principal difficulty was to raise and place me in this vehicle. Eighty

poles, each one foot high, were erected for this purpose, and very strong cords, of the bigness of packthread, were fastened by hooks to many bandages, which

the workmen had girt round my neck, my hands, my body, and my legs. Nine

hundred of the strongest men were employed to draw up these cords by many

pulleys fastened on the poles; and thus, in less than three hours, I was raised and

slung into the engine, and there tied fast. All this I was told; for while the operation was performing I lay in a profound sleep, by the force of that

soporiferous medicine infused into my liquor. Fifteen hundred of the emperor’s

largest horses, each about four inches and a half high, were employed to draw me towards the metropolis, which, as I said, was half a mile distant.

About four hours after we began our journey I awaked by a very ridiculous

accident; for the carriage being stopped awhile, to adjust something that was out

of order, two or three of the young natives had the curiosity to see how I looked

when I was asleep; they climbed up into the engine, and, advancing very softly

to my face, one of them, an officer in the guards, put the sharp end of his half-

pike a good way up into my left nostril, which tickled my nose like a straw, and

made me sneeze violently; whereupon they stole off unperceived, and it was

three weeks before I knew the cause of my awaking so suddenly. We made a

long march the remaining part of that day, and rested at night with five hundred

guards on each side of me, half with torches, and half with bows and arrows, ready to shoot me if I should offer to stir. The next morning at sunrise we continued our march, and arrived within two hundred yards of the city gates

about noon. The emperor and all his court came out to meet us; but his great officers would by no means suffer his majesty to endanger his person by

mounting on my body.

At the place where the carriage stopped there stood an ancient temple,

esteemed to be the largest in the whole kingdom, which, having been polluted some years before by an unnatural murder, was, according to the zeal of those people looked upon as profane, and therefore had been applied to common uses,

and all the ornaments and furniture carried away. In this edifice it was

determined I should lodge. The great gate fronting to the north was about four feet high and almost two feet wide, through which I could easily creep. On each

side of the gate was a small window, not above six inches from the ground; into

that on the left side the king’s smiths conveyed fourscore and eleven chains, like

those that hang to a lady’s watch in Europe, and almost as large, which were locked to my left leg with six-and-thirty padlocks. Over against this temple, on

the other side of the great highway, at twenty feet distance, there was a turret at

least five feet high. Here the emperor ascended, with many principal lords of his

court, to have an opportunity of viewing me, as I was told, for I could not see them. It was reckoned that above a hundred thousand inhabitants came out of the

town upon the same errand; and, in spite of my guards, I believe there could not

be fewer than ten thousand, at several times, who mounted my body, by the help

of ladders. But a proclamation was soon issued to forbid it upon pain of death.

When the workmen found it was impossible for me to break loose they cut all the strings that bound me; whereupon I rose up, with as melancholy a disposition

as ever I had in my life. But the noise and astonishment of the people at seeing

me rise and walk are not to be expressed. The chains that held my left leg were

about two yards long, and gave me not only the liberty of walking backwards and forwards in a semicircle, but being fixed within four inches of the gate, allowed me to creep in and lie at my full length in the temple.

CHAPTER II

THE EMPEROR OF LILLIPUT, ATTENDED BY SEVERAL OF THE NOBILITY, COMES TO

SEE THE AUTHOR IN HIS CONFINEMENT—THE EMPEROR’S PERSON AND HABITS

DESCRIBED—LEARNED MEN APPOINTED TO TEACH THE AUTHOR THEIR

LANGUAGE—HE GAINS FAVOR BY HIS MILD DISPOSITION—HIS POCKETS ARE

SEARCHED, AND HIS SWORD AND PISTOLS TAKEN FROM HIM.

When I found myself on my feet I looked about me, and must confess I never

beheld a more entertaining prospect. The country around appeared like a

continued garden, and the inclosed fields, which were generally forty feet

square, resembled so many beds of flowers. These fields were intermingled with

woods of half a stang, and the tallest trees, as I could judge, appeared to be seven

feet high. I viewed the town on my left hand, which looked like the painted scene of a city in a theater.

The emperor was already descended from the tower and advancing on

horseback towards me, which had like to have cost him dear; for the beast,

though very well trained, yet wholly unused to such a sight, which appeared as if

a mountain moved before him, reared up on his hindfeet; but that prince, who is

an excellent horseman, kept his seat, till his attendants ran in and held the bridle,

while his majesty had time to dismount. When he alighted he surveyed me round

with great admiration; but kept without the length of my chain. He ordered his

cooks and butlers, who were already prepared, to give me victuals and drink, which they pushed forward in a sort of vehicles upon wheels till I could reach them, I took these vehicles and soon emptied them all; twenty of them were

filled with meat, and ten with liquor; each of the former afforded me two or three

good mouthfuls; and I emptied the liquor of ten vessels, which was contained in

earthen vials, into one vehicle, drinking it off at a draught; and so I did with the

rest. The empress and young princes of the blood of both sexes, attended by many ladies, sat at some distance in their chairs; but, upon the accident that happened to the emperor’s horse, they alighted, and came near his person, which

I am now going to describe. He is taller by almost the breadth of my nail, than

any of his court, which alone is enough to strike an awe into the beholders. His

features are strong and masculine, with an Austrian lip and arched nose, his complexion olive, his countenance erect, his body and limbs well proportioned,

all his motions graceful and his deportment majestic. He was then past his prime,

being twenty-eight years and three-quarters old, of which he had reigned about

seven in great felicity and generally victorious. For the better convenience of

beholding him I lay on my side, so that my face was parallel to his, and he stood but three yards off; however, I have had him since many times in my hand, and

therefore cannot be deceived in the description. His dress was very plain and simple, and the fashion of it between the Asiatic and the European; but he had on

his head a light helmet of gold, adorned with jewels, and a plume on the crest.

He held his sword drawn in his hand to defend himself, if I should happen to break loose: it was almost three inches long; the hilt and scabbard were gold enriched with diamonds. His voice was shrill, but very clear and articulate, and I

could distinctly hear it when I stood up. The ladies and courtiers were all most

magnificently clad, so that the spot they stood upon seemed to resemble a

petticoat spread on the ground, embroidered with figures of gold and silver. His

imperial majesty spoke often to me, and I returned answers, but neither of us could understand a syllable. There were several of his priests and lawyers

present (as I conjectured by their habits), who were commanded to address

themselves to me, and I spoke to them in as many languages as I had the least

smattering of, which were High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish, Italian,

and Lingua Franca; but all to no purpose. After about two hours the court retired,

and I was left with a strong guard to prevent the impertinence, and probably the

malice of the rabble, who were very impatient to crowd about me as near as they

durst; and some of them had the impudence to shoot their arrows at me as I sat

on the ground by the door of my house, whereof one very narrowly missed my

left eye. But the colonel ordered six of the ringleaders to be seized, and thought

no punishment so proper as to deliver them bound into my hands; which some of

his soldiers accordingly did, pushing them forwards with the butt-ends of their pikes into my reach. I took them all in my right hand, put five of them into my

coat pocket, and as to the sixth, I made a countenance as if I would eat him alive.

The poor man squalled terribly, and the colonel and his officers were in much pain, especially when they saw me take out my penknife; but I soon put them out

of fear; for, looking mildly, and immediately cutting the strings he was bound with, I set him gently on the ground and away he ran. I treated the rest in the same manner, taking them one by one out of my pocket; and I observed both the

soldiers and people were highly obliged at this mark of my clemency, which was

represented very much to my advantage at court.

Towards night I got with some difficulty into my house, where I lay on the ground, and continued so to do about a fortnight; during which time the emperor

gave orders to have a bed prepared for me. Six hundred beds of the common

measure were brought in carriages, and worked up in my house; a hundred and

fifty of their beds, sewn together, made up the breadth and length; and these

were four double, which however kept me but very indifferently from the hardness of the floor, that was of smooth stone. By the same computation they

provided me with sheets, blankets, and coverlets, tolerable enough for one who

had been so long inured to hardships as I.

As the news of my arrival spread through the kingdom it brought prodigious

numbers of rich, idle, and curious people to see me; so that the villages were almost emptied, and great neglect of tillage and household affairs must have

ensued if his imperial majesty had not provided by several proclamations and

orders of state against this inconveniency. He directed that those who had

already beheld me should return home and not presume to come within fifty

yards of my house without license from court; whereby the secretaries of state got considerable fees.

In the meantime the emperor held frequent councils to debate what course

should be taken with me; and I was afterwards assured by a particular friend, a

person of great quality, who was looked upon to be as much in the secret as any,

that the court was under many difficulties concerning me. They apprehended my

breaking loose, that my diet would be very expensive and might cause a famine.

Sometimes they determined to starve me, or at least to shoot me in the face and

hands with poisoned arrows which would soon dispatch me; but again they

considered that the stench of so large a carcass might produce a plague in the metropolis and probably spread through the whole kingdom. In the midst of

these consultations several officers of the army went to the door of the great council chamber and two of them being admitted, gave an account of my

behavior to the six criminals above mentioned; which made so favorable an

impression in the breast of his majesty and the whole board in my behalf that an

imperial commission was issued out, obliging all the villages nine hundred yards

round the city, to deliver in every morning six beeves, forty sheep, and other victuals for my sustenance; together with a proportionable quantity of bread, and

wine and other liquors; for the due payment of which his majesty gave

assignments upon his treasury. For this prince lives chiefly upon his own

demesnes, seldom except upon great occasions raising any subsidies upon his

subjects, who are bound to attend him in his wars at their own expense. An establishment was also made of six hundred persons to be my domestics, who

had board-wages allowed for their maintenance and tents built for them very

conveniently on each side of my door. It was likewise ordered that three hundred

tailors should make me a suit of clothes after the fashion of the country; that six

of his majesty’s greatest scholars should be employed to instruct me in their language; and, lastly, that the emperor’s horses, and those of the nobility and

troops of guards, should be frequently exercised in my sight, to accustom themselves to me. All these orders were duly put in execution, and in about three

weeks I made a great progress in learning their language; during which time the

emperor frequently honored me with his visits, and was pleased to assist my

masters in teaching me. We began already to converse together in some sort; and

the first words I learned were to express my desire that he would please to give

me my liberty; which I every day repeated on my knees. His answer, as I could

apprehend it, was that this must be a work of time, not to be thought on without

the advice of his council, and that first I must lumos kelmin pesso desmar lon emposo; that is, swear a peace with him and his kingdom: however, that I should

be used with all kindness, and he advised me to acquire, by my patience and discreet behavior the good opinion of himself and his subjects. He desired I would not take it ill if he gave orders to certain proper officers to search me; for

probably I might carry about me several weapons, which must needs be

dangerous things, if they answered the bulk of so prodigious a person. I said his

majesty should be satisfied, for I was ready to strip myself and turn up my pockets before him. This I delivered part in words and part in signs. He replied

that, by the laws of the kingdom I must be searched by two of his officers; that

he knew this could not be done without my consent and assistance; that he had

so good an opinion of my generosity and justice as to trust their persons in my

hands; that whatever they took from me should be returned when I left the

country or paid for at the rate which I would set upon them. I took up the two officers in my hands, put them first into my coat pockets and then into every other pocket about me, except my two fobs, and another secret pocket which I had no mind should be searched, wherein I had some little necessaries that were

of no consequence to any but myself. In one of my fobs there was a silver watch

and in the other a small quantity of gold in a purse. These gentlemen, having pen, ink, and paper about them, made an exact inventory of everything they saw;

and when they had done, desired I would set them down, that they might deliver

it to the emperor. This inventory I afterwards translated into English, and is word

for word as follows:

“IMPRIMIS, In the right coat pocket of the great Man-mountain (for so I

interpret the words quinbus flestrin), after the strictest search, we found

only one great piece of coarse cloth, large enough to be a foot-cloth for

your majesty’s chief room of state. In the left pocket we saw a huge

silver chest, with a cover of the same metal, which we the searchers

were not able to lift. We desired it should be opened, and one of us

stepping into it, found himself up to the mid-leg in a sort of dust, some part whereof flying up to our faces, set us both a-sneezing several times

together. In his right waistcoat pocket we found a prodigious bundle of

white thin substances, folded one over another, about the bigness of

three men, tied with a strong cable and marked with black figures; which

we humbly conceive to be writings, every letter almost half as large as

the palm of our hands. In the left there was a sort of engine, from the

back of which were extended twenty long poles, resembling the

palisadoes before your majesty’s court; wherewith we conjecture the

Man-mountain combs his head, for we did not always trouble him with

questions, because we found it a great difficulty to make him understand

us. In the large pocket on the right side of his middle cover (so I translate

ranfu-lo, by which they meant my breeches), we saw a hollow pillar of

iron, about the length of a man, fastened to a strong piece of timber

larger than the pillar, and upon one side of the pillar were huge pieces of

iron sticking out, cut into strange figures, which we know not what to

make of. In the left pocket another engine of the same kind. In the

smaller pocket on the right side, were several round flat pieces of white

and red metal, of different bulk; some of the white, which seemed to be

silver, were so large and heavy that my comrade and I could hardly lift

them. In the left pocket were two black pillars irregularly shaped; we

could not, without difficulty, reach the top of them, as we stood at the

bottom of his pocket. One of them was covered and seemed all of a

piece; but at the upper end of the other there appeared a white round

substance, about twice the bigness of our heads. Within each of these

was inclosed a prodigious plate of steel; which, by our orders, we

obliged him to show us, because we apprehended they might be

dangerous engines. He took them out of their cases, and told us that in

his own country his practice was to shave his beard with one of these

and to cut his meat with the other. There were two pockets which we

could not enter; these he called his fobs; they were two large slits cut

into the top of his middle cover, but squeezed close by the pressure of

his belly. Out of the right fob hung a great silver chain, with a wonderful

kind of engine at the bottom. We directed him to draw out whatever was

fastened to that chain, which appeared to be a globe, half silver, and half

of some transparent metal; for on the transparent side we saw certain

strange figures circularly drawn, and thought we could touch them till

we found our fingers stopped by that lucid substance. He put his engine

to our ears, which made an incessant noise, like that of a watermill; and

we conjecture it is either some unknown animal or the god that he worships; but we are more inclined to the latter opinion, because he

assures us (if we understood him right, for he expressed himself very

imperfectly) that he seldom did anything without consulting it. He called

it his oracle, and said it pointed out the time for every action of his life.

From the left fob he took out a net almost large enough for a fisherman,

but contrived to open and shut like a purse, and which served him for the

same use; we found therein several massy pieces of yellow metal, which,

if they be real gold, must be of immense value.

“Having thus, in obedience to your majesty’s commands, diligently

searched all his pockets, we observed a girdle about his waist, made of

the hide of some prodigious animal, from which, on the left side, hung a

sword of the length of five men; and on the right a bag or pouch divided

into two cells, each cell capable of holding three of your majesty’s

subjects. In one of these cells were several globes or balls of a most

ponderous metal, about the bigness of our heads, and required a strong

hand to lift them; the other cell contained a heap of certain black grains,

but of no great bulk or weight, for we could hold above fifty of them in

the palms of our hands.

“This is an exact inventory of what we found about the body of the

Man-mountain, who used us with great civility, and due respect to your

majesty’s commission. Signed and sealed on the fourth day of the

eighty-ninth moon of your majesty’s auspicious reign.”

CLEFREN FRELOCK, MARSI FRELOCK.

When this inventory was read over to the emperor he directed me, although in

very gentle terms, to deliver up the several particulars. He first called for my scimitar, which I took out, scabbard and all. In the meantime he ordered three thousand of his choicest troops (who then attended him) to surround me at a distance, with their bows and arrows just ready to discharge; but I did not observe it, for my eyes were wholly fixed upon his majesty. He then desired me

to draw my scimitar, which, although it had got some rust by the sea water, was

in most parts exceeding bright. I did so, and immediately all the troops gave a shout between terror and surprise; for the sun shone clear, and the reflection dazzled their eyes as I waved the scimitar to and fro in my hand. His majesty, who is a most magnanimous prince, was less daunted than I could expect; he

ordered me to return it into the scabbard and cast it on the ground as gently as I

could, about six feet from the end of my chain. The next thing he demanded was one of the hollow iron pillars, by which he meant my pocket pistols. I drew it out, and at his desire, as well as I could, expressed to him the use of it; and charging it only with powder, which by the closeness of my pouch happened to

escape wetting in the sea (an inconvenience against which all prudent mariners

take special care to provide), I first cautioned the emperor not to be afraid, and

then I let it off in the air. The astonishment here was much greater than at the sight of the scimitar. Hundreds fell down as if they had been struck dead; and even the emperor, although he stood his ground, could not recover himself in some time. I delivered up both my pistols in the same manner as I had done my

scimitar, and then my pouch of powder and bullets; begging him that the former

might be kept from the fire, for it would kindle with the smallest spark and blow

up his imperial palace into the air. I likewise delivered up my watch, which the

emperor was very curious to see, and commanded two of his tallest yeomen of

the guards to bear it on a pole upon their shoulders, as draymen in England do a

barrel of ale. He was amazed at the continual noise it made, and the motion of

the minute hand, which he could easily discern; for their sight is much more acute than ours; and asked the opinions of his learned men about him, which were various and remote, as the reader may imagine without my repeating;

although, indeed, I could not very perfectly understand them. I then gave up my

silver and copper money, my purse with nine large pieces of gold, and some

smaller ones; my knife and razor, my comb and silver snuff box, my

handkerchief and journal book. My scimitar, pistols, and pouch were conveyed

in carriages to his majesty’s stores, but the rest of my goods were returned me.

“I likewise delivered up my watch, which the emperor was very curious to see”

Page 28

I had, as I before observed, one private pocket which escaped their search,

wherein there was a pair of spectacles (which I sometimes use for the weakness

of my eyes) a pocket perspective, and some other little conveniences which,

being of no consequence to the emperor, I did not think myself bound in honor

to discover, and I apprehended they might be lost or spoiled if I ventured them

out of my possession.

CHAPTER III

THE AUTHOR DIVERTS THE EMPEROR, AND HIS NOBILITY OF BOTH SEXES, IN A VERY

UNCOMMON MANNER—THE DIVERSIONS OF THE COURT OF LILLIPUT DESCRIBED

—THE AUTHOR HAS HIS LIBERTY GRANTED HIM, UPON CERTAIN CONDITIONS.

My gentleness and good behavior had gained so far on the emperor and his

court, and indeed upon the army and people in general, that I began to conceive

hopes of getting my liberty in a short time. I took all possible methods to cultivate this favorable disposition. The natives came by degrees to be less

apprehensive of any danger from me. I would sometimes lie down and let five or

six of them dance on my hand; and at last the boys and girls would venture to come and play at hide-and-seek in my hair. I had now made a good progress in

understanding and speaking their language. The emperor had a mind one day to

entertain me with several of the country shows, wherein they exceed all nations I

have known, both for dexterity and magnificence. I was diverted with none so much as that of the rope dancers, performed upon a slender white thread,

extended about two feet and twelve inches from the ground. Upon which I shall

desire liberty, with the reader’s patience, to enlarge a little.

This diversion is only practiced by those persons who are candidates for great

employments and high favor at court. They are trained in this art from their youth, and are not always of noble birth, or liberal education. When a great office is vacant, either by death or disgrace (which often happens), five or six of

those candidates petition the emperor to entertain his majesty and the court with

a dance on the rope; and whoever jumps the highest without falling succeeds in

the office. Very often the chief ministers themselves are commanded to show

their skill, and to convince the emperor that they have not lost their faculty.

Flimnap, the treasurer, is allowed to cut a caper on the straight rope, at least an

inch higher than any other lord in the whole empire. I have seen him do the somersault several times together upon a trencher fixed on the rope, which is no

thicker than a common packthread in England. My friend Reldresal, principal

secretary for private affairs, is, in my opinion, if I am not partial, the second after

the treasurer; the rest of the great officers are much upon a par.

These diversions are often attended with fatal accidents, whereof great

numbers are on record. I myself have seen two or three candidates break a limb.

But the danger is much greater when the ministers themselves are commanded to

show their dexterity; for, by contending to excel themselves and their fellows,

they strain so far that there is hardly one of them who has not received a fall, and some of them two or three. I was assured that, a year or two before my arrival,

Flimnap would infallibly have broke his neck, if one of the king’s cushions, that

accidentally lay on the ground, had not weakened the force of his fall.

There is likewise another diversion which is only shown before the emperor

and empress, and first minister, upon particular occasions. The emperor lays on

the table three fine silken threads of six inches long; one is purple, the other yellow, and the third white. These threads are proposed as prizes for those

persons whom the emperor has a mind to distinguish by a peculiar mark of his

favor. The ceremony is performed in his majesty’s great chamber of state, where

the candidates are to undergo a trial of dexterity very different from the former,

and such as I have not observed the least resemblance of in any other country of

the old or the new world. The emperor holds a stick in his hands, both ends parallel to the horizon, while the candidates advancing, one by one, sometimes

leap over the stick, sometimes creep under it, backwards and forwards, several times, according as the stick is advanced or depressed. Sometimes the emperor

holds one end of the stick, and his first minister the other; sometimes the minister has it entirely to himself. Whoever performs his part with most agility

and holds out the longest in leaping and creeping, is rewarded with the purple-

colored silk; the yellow is given to the next, and the white to the third, which they all wear girt twice round about the middle; and you see few great persons

about this court who are not adorned with one of these girdles.

The horses of the army, and those of the royal stables, having been daily led

before me, were no longer shy, but would come up to my very feet without

starting. The riders would leap them over my hand, as I held it on the ground; and one of the emperor’s huntsmen, upon a large courser, took my foot, shoe and

all, which was indeed a prodigious leap. I had the good fortune to divert the emperor one day after a very extraordinary manner. I desired he would order

several sticks of two feet high, and the thickness of an ordinary cane, to be brought me; whereupon his majesty commanded the master of his woods to give

directions accordingly, and the next morning six woodmen arrived with as many

carriages, drawn by eight horses to each. I took nine of these sticks and fixing them firmly in the ground in a quadrangular figure, two feet and a half square, I

took four other sticks and tied them parallel at each corner, about two feet from

the ground; then I fastened my handkerchief to the nine sticks that stood erect,

and extended it on all sides, till it was tight as the top of a drum; and the four parallel sticks, rising about five inches higher than the handkerchief, served as ledges on each side. When I had finished my work I desired the emperor to let a

troop of his best horse, twenty-four in number, come and exercise upon this plane. His majesty approved of the proposal, and I took them up one by one in

my hands, ready mounted and armed, with the proper officers to exercise them.

As soon as they got into order they divided into two parties, performed mock skirmishes, discharged blunt arrows, drew their swords, fled and pursued,

attacked and retired, and in short, discovered the best military discipline I ever beheld. The parallel sticks secured them and their horses from falling over the stage; and the emperor was so much delighted that he ordered this entertainment

to be repeated several days, and once was pleased to be lifted up and give the word of command; and, with great difficulty, persuaded even the empress herself

to let me hold her in her close chair within two yards of the stage, from whence

she was able to take a full view of the whole performance. It was my good fortune that no ill accident happened in these entertainments; only once a fiery horse that belonged to one of the captains, pawing with his hoof, struck a hole in

my handkerchief, and, his foot slipping, he overthrew his rider and himself; but I

immediately relieved them both, and, covering the hole with one hand, I set

down the troop with the other, in the same manner as I took them up. The horse

that fell was strained in the left shoulder, but the rider got no hurt, and I repaired

my handkerchief as well as I could; however, I would not trust to the strength of

it any more in such dangerous enterprises.

About two or three days before I was set at liberty, as I was entertaining the

court with this kind of feats, there arrived an express to inform his majesty that

some of his subjects, riding near the place where I was first taken up, had seen a

great black substance lying on the ground, very oddly shaped, extending its

edges round as wide as his majesty’s bedchamber, and rising up in the middle as

high as a man; that it was no living creature, as they at first apprehended, for it

lay on the grass without motion, and some of them had walked round it several

times; that, by mounting upon each other’s shoulders, they had got to the top, which was flat and even, and stamping upon it, they found that it was hollow within; that they humbly conceived it might be something belonging to the Man-mountain; and if his majesty pleased they would undertake to bring it with only

five horses. I presently knew what they meant, and was glad at heart to receive

this intelligence. It seems, upon my first reaching the shore after our shipwreck, I

was in such confusion that before I came to the place where I went to sleep, my

hat, which I had fastened with a string to my head while I was rowing, and had

stuck on all the time I was swimming, fell off after I came to land; the string, as I

conjecture, breaking by some accident which I never observed, but thought my

hat had been lost at sea. I entreated his imperial majesty to give orders it might

be brought to me as soon as possible, describing to him the use and the nature of it; and the next day the wagoners arrived with it, but not in a very good condition; they had bored two holes in the brim, within an inch and a half of the

edge, and fastened two hooks in the holes; these hooks were tied by a long cord

to the harness, and thus my hat was dragged along for above half an English mile, but the ground in that country being extremely smooth and level, it

received less damage than I expected.

Two days after this adventure, the emperor, having ordered that part of his

army which quarters in and about his metropolis to be in readiness, took a fancy

of diverting himself in a very singular manner. He desired that I would stand like

a colossus, with my legs as far asunder as I conveniently could. He then

commanded his general (who was an old experienced leader, and a great patron

of mine) to draw up the troops in close order, and march them under me; the foot

by twenty-four abreast, and the horse by sixteen, with drums beating, colors

flying, and pikes advanced. This body consisted of three thousand foot, and a thousand horse.

I had sent so many memorials and petitions for my liberty that his majesty at

length mentioned the matter, first in the cabinet and then in a full council, where

it was opposed by none except Skyresh Bolgolam, who was pleased, without any

provocation, to be my mortal enemy. But it was carried against him by the whole

board and confirmed by the emperor. That minister was galbet, or admiral of the

realm, very much in his master’s confidence, and a person well versed in affairs,

but of a morose and sour complexion. However, he was at length persuaded to

comply, but prevailed that the articles and conditions upon which I should be set

free, and to which I must swear, should be drawn up by himself. These articles

were brought to me by Skyresh Bolgolam in person, attended by two under-

secretaries and several persons of distinction. After they were read, I was

demanded to swear to the performance of them, first in the manner of my own

country, and afterwards in the methods prescribed by their laws, which was to hold my right foot in my left hand, and to place the middle finger of my right hand on the crown of my head, and my thumb on the tip of my right ear. But because the reader may perhaps be curious to have some idea of the style and manner of expression peculiar to that people, as well as to know the articles upon which I recovered my liberty, I have made a translation of the whole

instrument, word for word, as near as I was able, which I here offer to the public:

GOLBASTO MOMAREN EVLAME GURDILO SHEFIN MULLY ULLY GUE, most

mighty Emperor of Lilliput, delight and terror of the universe, whose dominions extend five thousand blustrogs (about twelve miles in

circumference) to the extremities of the globe; monarch of all monarchs,

taller than the sons of men; whose feet press down to the center, and

whose head strikes against the sun; at whose nod the princes of the earth

shake their knees; pleasant as the spring, comfortable as the summer,

fruitful as autumn, dreadful as winter. His most sublime majesty

proposes to the Man-mountain, lately arrived at our celestial dominions,

the following articles, which, by a solemn oath, he shall be obliged to

perform:

I. The Man-mountain shall not depart from our dominions without our

license under our great seal.

II. He shall not presume to come into our metropolis without our

express order; at which time, the inhabitants shall have two hours’

warning to keep within their doors.

III. The said Man-mountain shall confine his walks to our principal

highroads, and not offer to walk or lie down in a meadow or field of

corn.

IV. As he walks the said roads, he shall take the utmost care not to

trample upon the bodies of any of our loving subjects, their horses or

carriages, nor take any of our said subjects into his hands without their

own consent.

V. If an express requires extraordinary dispatch, the Man-mountain

shall be obliged to carry, in his pocket, the messenger and horse a six

days’ journey once in every moon, and return the said messenger back

(if so required) safe to our imperial presence.

VI. He shall be our ally against our enemies in the island of Blefuscu,

and do his utmost to destroy their fleet, which is now preparing to

invade us.

VII. That the said Man-mountain shall, at his times of leisure, be

aiding and assisting to our workmen, in helping to raise certain great

stones, towards covering the wall of the principal park, and other of our

royal buildings.

VIII. That the said Man-mountain shall, in two moons’ time, deliver in

an exact survey of the circumference of our dominions, by a

computation of his own paces round the coast.

Lastly, That upon his solemn oath to observe the above articles, the

said Man-mountain shall have a daily allowance of meat and drink

sufficient for the support of 1728 of our subjects, with free access to our

royal person, and other marks of our favor. Given at our palace at

Belfaborac, the twelfth day of the ninety-first moon of our reign.

I swore and subscribed to these articles with great cheerfulness and content, although some of them were not so honorable as I could have wished; which

proceeded wholly from the malice of Skyresh Bolgolam, the high-admiral;

whereupon my chains were immediately unlocked, and I was at full liberty. The

emperor himself, in person, did me the honor to be by at the whole ceremony. I

made my acknowledgments by prostrating myself at his majesty’s feet; but he

commanded me to rise; and after many gracious expressions, which to avoid the

censure of vanity I shall not repeat, he added that he hoped I should prove a useful servant, and well deserve all the favors he had already conferred upon me,

or might do for the future.

The reader may please to observe, that in the last article for the recovery of my liberty the emperor stipulates to allow me a quantity of meat and drink

sufficient for the support of 1728 Lilliputians. Some time after, asking a friend at

court how they came to fix on that determinate number, he told me that his majesty’s mathematicians, having taken the height of my body by the help of a

quadrant, and finding it to exceed theirs in the proportion of twelve to one, they

concluded from the similarity of their bodies, that mine must contain at least 1728 of theirs, and consequently would require as much food as was necessary

to support that number of Lilliputians. By which the reader may conceive an idea

of the ingenuity of that people, as well as the prudent and exact economy of so

great a prince.

CHAPTER IV

MILDENDO, THE METROPOLIS OF LILLIPUT, DESCRIBED, TOGETHER WITH THE

EMPEROR’S PALACE—A CONVERSATION BETWEEN THE AUTHOR AND A

PRINCIPAL SECRETARY, CONCERNING THE AFFAIRS OF THAT EMPIRE—THE

AUTHOR’S OFFERS TO SERVE THE EMPEROR IN HIS WARS.

The first request I made after I had obtained my liberty, was that I might have

license to see Mildendo, the metropolis; which the emperor easily granted me, but with a special charge to do no hurt either to the inhabitants or their houses.

The people had notice, by proclamation, of my design to visit the town. The wall

which encompassed it, is two feet and a half high, and at least eleven inches broad, so that a coach and horses may be driven very safely round it; and it is flanked with strong towers at ten feet distance. I stepped over the great western

gate, and passed very gently and sideling through the two principal streets, only

in my short waistcoat, for fear of damaging the roofs and eaves of the houses with the skirts of my coat. I walked with the utmost circumspection, to avoid treading on any stragglers that might remain in the streets; although the orders were very strict that all people should keep in their houses, at their own peril.

The garret windows and tops of houses were so crowded with spectators that I thought in all my travels I had not seen a more populous place. The city is an exact square, each side of the wall being five hundred feet long. The two great

streets which run across and divide it into four quarters, are five feet wide. The

lanes and alleys, which I could not enter, but only viewed them as I passed, are

from twelve to eighteen inches. The town is capable of holding five hundred

thousand souls. The houses are from three to five stories; the shops and markets

well provided.

The emperor’s palace is in the center of the city, where the two great streets meet. It is inclosed by a wall of two feet high, and twenty feet distant from the

buildings. I had his majesty’s permission to step over this wall; and the space being so wide between that and the palace, I could easily view it on every side.

The outward court is a square of forty feet, and includes two other courts; in the

inmost are the royal apartments, which I was very desirous to see, but found it

extremely difficult; for the great gates, from one square into another, were but eighteen inches high and seven inches wide. Now the buildings of the outer court

were at least five feet high, and it was impossible for me to stride over them without infinite damage to the pile, though the walls were strongly built of hewn

stone, and four inches thick. At the same time the emperor had a great desire that

I should see the magnificence of his palace; but this I was not able to do till three days after, which I spent in cutting down with my knife some of the largest trees

in the royal park, about a hundred yards’ distance from the city. Of these trees I

made two stools, each about three feet high, and strong enough to bear my

weight. The people having received notice a second time, I went again through

the city to the palace with my two stools in my hands. When I came to the side

of the outer court, I stood upon one stool and took the other in my hand; this I

lifted over the roof, and gently set it down on the space between the first and second court, which was eight feet wide. I then stepped over the buildings very

conveniently from one stool to the other, and drew up the first one after me with

a hooked stick. By this contrivance I got into the inmost court; and, lying down

upon my side, I applied my face to the windows of the middle stories, which were left open on purpose, and discovered the most splendid apartments that can

be imagined.

There I saw the empress and the young princes, in their several lodgings, with

their chief attendants about them. Her imperial majesty was pleased to smile

very graciously upon me, and gave me out of the window her hand to kiss.

But I shall not anticipate the reader with further descriptions of this kind, because I reserve them for a greater work, which is now almost ready for the press; containing a general description of this empire, from its first erection, through a long series of princes; with a particular account of their wars and politics, laws, learning and religion, their plants and animals, their peculiar manners and customs, with other matters very curious and useful; my chief

design at present being only to relate such events and transactions as happened

to the public or to myself during a residence of about nine months in that empire.

One morning, about a fortnight after I had obtained my liberty, Reldresal,

principal secretary (as they style him) for private affairs, came to my house attended only by one servant. He ordered his coach to wait at a distance, and desired I would give him an hour’s audience; which I readily consented to, on account of his quality and personal merits, as well as the many good offices he

had done me during my solicitations at court. I offered to lie down, that he might

the more conveniently reach my ear; but he chose rather to let me hold him in my hand during our conversation. He began with compliments on my liberty;

said he might pretend to some merit in it; but, however, added, that if it had not

been for the present situation of things at court, perhaps I might not have obtained it so soon. “For,” said he, “as flourishing a condition as we may appear

to be in to foreigners, we labor under two mighty evils: a violent faction at

home, and the danger of an invasion by a most potent enemy from abroad. As to the first, you are to understand that for above seventy moons past there have been two struggling parties in this empire, under the names of Tramecksan and

Slamecksan, from the high and low heels of their shoes, by which they distinguish themselves. It is alleged, indeed, that the high heels are most

agreeable to our ancient constitution; but, however this may be, his majesty has

determined to make use of only low heels in the administration of the

government, and all offices in the gift of the crown, as you cannot but observe;

and particularly, that his majesty’s imperial heels are lower at least by a drurr than any of his court ( drurr is a measure about the fourteenth part of an inch).

The animosities between these two parties run so high, that they will neither eat

nor drink nor talk with each other. We compute the Tramecksan, or High-heels,

to exceed us in number; but the power is wholly on our side. We apprehend his

imperial highness, the heir to the crown, to have some tendency towards the

High-heels; at least, we can plainly discover one of his heels higher than the other, which gives him a hobble in his gait. Now, in the midst of these intestine

disquiets, we are threatened with an invasion from the island of Blefuscu, which

is the other great empire of the universe, almost as large and powerful as this of

his majesty. For as to what we have heard you affirm, that there are other kingdoms and states in the world, inhabited by human creatures as large as

yourself, our philosophers are in much doubt, and would rather conjecture that you dropped from the moon, or one of the stars; because it is certain that a hundred mortals of your bulk would in a short time destroy all the fruits and cattle of his majesty’s dominions; besides, our histories of six thousand moons make no mention of any other regions than the two great empires of Lilliput and

Blefuscu. Which two mighty powers have, as I was going to tell you, been

engaged in a most obstinate war for six-and-thirty moons past. It began upon the

following occasion: It is allowed on all hands, that the primitive way of breaking

eggs, before we eat them, was upon the larger end; but his present majesty’s grandfather, while he was a boy, going to eat an egg, and breaking it according to

the ancient practice, happened to cut one of his fingers; whereupon the emperor,

his father, published an edict, commanding all his subjects, upon great penalties,

to break the smaller end of their eggs. The people so highly resented this law, that our histories tell us there have been six rebellions raised on that account; wherein one emperor lost his life, and another his crown. These civil

commotions were constantly fomented by the monarchs of Blefuscu; and when

they were quelled, the exiles always fled for refuge to that empire. It is computed

that eleven thousand persons have, at several times, suffered death, rather than submit to break their eggs at the smaller end. Many hundred large volumes have

been published upon this controversy; but the books of the Big-endians have been long forbidden, and the whole party rendered incapable by law of holding

employments. During the course of these troubles, the emperors of Blefuscu did

frequently expostulate by their ambassadors, accusing us of making a schism in

religion by offending against a fundamental doctrine of our great prophet

Lustrog, in the fifty-fourth chapter of the Blundecral, which is their Alcoran.

This, however, is thought to be a mere strain upon the text; for the words are these: That all true believers shall break their eggs at the convenient end; and which is the convenient end seems, in my humble opinion, to be left to every man’s conscience, or at least in the power of the chief magistrate to determine.

Now, the Big-endian exiles have found so much credit in the emperor of

Blefuscu’s court, and so much private assistance and encouragement from their

party here at home, that a bloody war has been carried on between the two

empires for six-and-thirty moons, with various success; during which time we

have lost forty capital ships, and a much greater number of smaller vessels, together with thirty thousand of our best seamen and soldiers; and the damage received by the enemy is reckoned to be somewhat greater than ours. However,

they have now equipped a numerous fleet, and are just preparing to make a

descent upon us; and his imperial majesty, placing great confidence in your valor

and strength, has commanded me to lay this account of his affairs before you.”

I desired the secretary to present my humble duty to the emperor; and to let him know that I thought it would not become me, who was a foreigner, to

interfere with parties; but I was ready, with the hazard of my life, to defend his

person and state against all invaders.

CHAPTER V

THE AUTHOR, BY AN EXTRAORDINARY STRATAGEM, PREVENTS AN INVASION—A HIGH

TITLE OF HONOR IS CONFERRED UPON HIM—AMBASSADORS ARRIVE FROM THE

EMPEROR OF BLEFUSCU, AND SUE FOR PEACE.

The empire of Blefuscu is an island situated to the northeast of Lilliput, from

which it is parted only by a channel eight hundred yards wide. I had not yet seen

it, and upon this notice of an intended invasion, I avoided appearing on that side

of the coast, for fear of being discovered by some of the enemy’s ships, who had

received no intelligence of me; all intercourse between the two empires having

been strictly forbidden during the war, upon pain of death, and an embargo laid

by our emperor upon all vessels whatsoever. I communicated to his majesty a

project I had formed of seizing the enemy’s whole fleet; which, as our scouts assured us, lay at anchor in the harbor, ready to sail with the first fair wind. I consulted the most experienced seamen upon the depth of the channel, which

they had often plumbed; who told me, that in the middle, at high water, it was seventy glumgluffs deep, which is about six feet of European measure; and the rest of it fifty glumgluffs at most. I walked towards the northeast coast, over against Blefuscu, and lying down behind a hillock, I took out my small pocket perspective glass, and viewed the enemy’s fleet at anchor, consisting of about fifty men of war, and a great number of transports; I then came back to my house, and gave orders (for which I had a warrant) for a great quantity of the strongest cable and bars of iron. The cable was about as thick as packthread, and

the bars of the length and size of a knitting needle. I trebled the cable to make it

stronger, and for the same reason I twisted three of the iron bars together, bending the extremities into a hook. Having thus fixed fifty hooks to as many cables, I went back to the northeast coast, and putting off my coat, shoes, and stockings, walked into the sea in my leathern jerkin, about half an hour before high water. I waded with what haste I could, and swam in the middle about thirty

yards, till I felt ground. I arrived at the fleet in less than half an hour. The enemy

were so frightened when they saw me, that they leaped out of their ships, and swam to shore, where there could not be fewer than thirty thousand souls. I then

took my tackling, and fastening a hook to the hole at the prow of each, I tied all

the cords together at the end. While I was thus employed, the enemy discharged

several thousand arrows, many of which stuck in my hands and face; and besides

the excessive smart, gave me much disturbance in my work. My greatest

apprehension was for my eyes, which I should have infallibly lost, if I had not

suddenly thought of an expedient. I kept, among other little necessaries, a pair of spectacles in a private pocket, which, as I observed before, had escaped the emperor’s searchers. These I took out and fastened as strongly as I could upon my nose, and, thus armed, went on boldly with my work, in spite of the enemy’s

arrows, many of which struck against the glasses of my spectacles, but without

any other effect further than a little to discompose them. I had now fastened all

the hooks, and taking the knot in my hand, began to pull; but not a ship would

stir, for they were all too fast held by their anchors, so that the boldest part of my

enterprise remained. I therefore let go the cord, and leaving the hooks fixed to the ships, I resolutely cut with my knife the cables that fastened the anchors, receiving about two hundred arrows in my face and hands; then I took up the knotted end of the cables to which my hooks were tied, and with great ease drew

fifty of the enemy’s largest men of war after me.

The Blefuscudians, who had not the least imagination of what I intended, were

at first confounded with astonishment. They had seen me cut the cables, and

thought my design was only to let the ships run adrift, or fall foul on each other;

but when they perceived the whole fleet moving in order, and saw me pulling at

the end, they set up such a scream of grief and despair as is almost impossible to

describe or conceive. When I had got out of danger, I stopped awhile to pick out

the arrows that stuck in my hands and face; and rubbed on some of the same ointment that was given me at my first arrival, as I have formerly mentioned. I

then took off my spectacles, and waiting about an hour till the tide was a little fallen, I waded through the middle with my cargo, and arrived safe at the royal

port of Lilliput.

The emperor and his whole court stood on the shore, expecting the issue of

this great adventure. They saw the ships move forward in a large half-moon, but

could not discern me, who was up to my breast in water. When I advanced to the

middle of the channel, they were yet more in pain, because I was under water to

my neck. The emperor concluded me to be drowned, and that the enemy’s fleet

was approaching in a hostile manner. But he was soon eased of his fears; for the

channel growing shallower every step I made, I came in a short time within

hearing, and holding up the end of the cable, by which the fleet was fastened, I

cried in a loud voice, “Long live the most puissant emperor of Lilliput!” This great prince received me at my landing with all possible encomiums, and created

me a nardac upon the spot, which is the highest title of honor among them.

His majesty desired I would take some other opportunity of bringing all the

rest of the enemy’s ships into his ports. And so unmeasurable is the ambition of

princes, that he seemed to think of nothing less than reducing the whole empire of Blefuscu into a province, and governing it by a viceroy; of destroying the Big-endian exiles, and compelling that people to break the smaller end of their eggs,

by which he would remain the sole monarch of the whole world. But I

endeavored to divert him from this design, by many arguments drawn from the

topics of policy as well as justice; and I plainly protested that I would never be

an instrument of bringing a free and brave people into slavery. And when the latter was debated in council, the wisest part of the ministry were of my opinion.

This open, bold declaration of mine was so opposite to the schemes and

politics of his imperial majesty, that he could never forgive me. He mentioned it

in a very artful manner at council, where I was told that some of the wisest appeared, at least, by their silence, to be of my opinion; but others, who were my

secret enemies, could not forbear some expressions which by a side wind

reflected on me; and from this time began an intrigue between his majesty, and a

junto of ministers maliciously bent against me, which broke out in less than two

months, and had like to have ended in my utter destruction. Of so little weight

are the greatest services to princes when put into the balance with a refusal to gratify their passions.

“They perceived the whole fleet moving in order”

Page 49

About three weeks after this exploit there arrived a solemn embassy from

Blefuscu, with humble offers of a peace; which was soon concluded upon

conditions very advantageous to our emperor, wherewith I shall not trouble the

reader. There were six ambassadors with a train of about five hundred persons;

and their entry was very magnificent, suitable to the grandeur of their master and

the importance of their business. When their treaty was finished, wherein I did them several good offices by the credit I now had, or at least appeared to have, at

court, their excellencies, who were privately told how much I had been their friend, made me a visit in form. They began with many compliments upon my

valor and generosity, invited me to that kingdom in the emperor their master’s name, and desired me to show them some proofs of my prodigious strength, of

which they had heard so many wonders; wherein I readily obliged them, but

shall not trouble the reader with the particulars.

When I had for some time entertained their excellencies, to their infinite

satisfaction and surprise, I desired they would do me the honor to present my most humble respects to the emperor their master, the renown of whose virtues

had so justly filled the whole world with admiration, and whose royal person I

resolved to attend before I returned to my own country. Accordingly, the next time I had the honor to see our emperor, I desired his general license to wait on

the Blefuscudian monarch, which he was pleased to grant me, as I could

perceive, in a very cold manner; but could not guess the reason, till I had a whisper from a certain person, that Flimnap and Bolgolam had represented my

intercourse with those ambassadors as a mark of disaffection; from which I am

sure my heart was wholly free. And this was the first time I began to conceive

some imperfect idea of courts and ministers.

It is to be observed, that these ambassadors spoke to me by an interpreter, the

languages of both empires differing as much from each other as any two in

Europe, and each nation priding itself upon the antiquity, beauty, and energy of

their own tongues, with an avowed contempt for that of their neighbor; yet our

emperor, standing upon the advantage he had got by the seizure of their fleet, obliged them to deliver their credentials, and make their speech in the Lilliputian

tongue. And it must be confessed, that from the great intercourse of trade and commerce between both realms, from the continual reception of exiles which is

mutual among them, and from the custom in each empire to send their young

nobility and richer gentry to the other, in order to polish themselves by seeing the world, and understanding men and manners, there are few persons of

distinction, or merchants, or seamen, who dwell in the maritime parts, but what

can hold conversation in both tongues; as I found some weeks after, when I went

to pay my respects to the emperor of Blefuscu, which, in the midst of great misfortunes through the malice of my enemies, proved a very happy adventure

to me, as I shall relate in its proper place.

The reader may remember, that when I signed those articles upon which I

recovered my liberty, there were some which I disliked upon account of their being too servile; neither could anything but an extreme necessity have forced me to submit. But being now a nardac of the highest rank in that empire, such

offices were looked upon as below my dignity, and the emperor (to do him

justice) never once mentioned them to me.

CHAPTER VI

OF THE INHABITANTS OF LILLIPUT; THEIR LEARNING, LAWS, AND CUSTOMS; THE

MANNER OF EDUCATING THEIR CHILDREN—THE AUTHOR’S WAY OF LIVING IN

THAT COUNTRY—HIS VINDICATION OF A GREAT LADY.

Although I intend to leave the description of this empire to a particular

treatise, yet in the meantime I am content to gratify the curious reader with some

general ideas. As the common size of the natives is somewhat under six inches

high, so there is an exact proportion in all other animals, as well as plants and trees; for instance, the tallest horses and oxen are between four and five inches in

height, the sheep an inch and a half, more or less; their geese about the bigness

of a sparrow, and so the several gradations downwards, till you come to the smallest, which to my sight were almost invisible; but nature has adapted the eyes of the Lilliputians to all objects proper for their view; they see with great exactness, but at no great distance. And to show the sharpness of their sight towards objects that are near, I have been much pleased in observing a cook pulling a lark, which was not so large as a common fly; and a young girl

threading an invisible needle with invisible silk. Their tallest trees are about seven feet high: I mean some of those in the great royal park, the tops whereof I

could but just reach with my fist clenched. The other vegetables are in the same

proportion; but this I leave to the reader’s imagination.

I shall say but little at present of their learning, which for many ages has flourished in all its branches among them; but their manner of writing is very peculiar, being neither from the left to the right, like the Europeans; nor from the

right to the left, like the Arabians; nor from up to down, like the Chinese; nor from down to up, like the Cascagians; but aslant, from one corner of the paper to

the other, like ladies in England.

They bury their dead with their heads directly downward, because they hold

an opinion that in eleven thousand moons they are all to rise again; in which period the earth (which they conceive to be flat) will turn upside down, and by

this means they shall, at their resurrection, be found ready standing on their feet.

The learned among them confess the absurdity of this doctrine; but the practice

still continues, in compliance to the vulgar.

There are some laws and customs in this empire very peculiar; and if they

were not so directly contrary to those of my own dear country, I should be tempted to say a little in their justification. It is only to be wished they were as

well executed. The first I shall mention relates to informers. All crimes against the state are punished here with the utmost severity; but if the person accused makes his innocence plainly to appear upon his trial, the accuser is immediately

put to an ignominious death; and out of his goods or lands the innocent person is

quadruply recompensed for the loss of his time, for the danger he underwent, for

the hardship of his imprisonment, and for all the charges he has been at in making his defense; or, if that fund be deficient, it is largely supplied by the crown. The emperor does also confer on him some public mark of his favor, and

proclamation is made of his innocence through the whole city.

They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore seldom fail

to punish it with death; for they allege, that care and vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a man’s goods from thieves, but honesty

has no fence against superior cunning; and since it is necessary that there should

be a perpetual intercourse of buying and selling, and dealing upon credit, where

fraud is permitted and connived at, or has no law to punish it, the honest dealer is

always undone, and the knave gets the advantage. I remember, when I was once

interceding with the king for a criminal who had wronged his master of a great

sum of money, which he had received by order, and ran away with; and

happening to tell his majesty by way of extenuation, that it was only a breach of

trust, the emperor thought it monstrous in me to offer as a defense the greatest

aggravation of the crime; and truly I had little to say in return, farther than the

common answer that different nations had different customs; for I confess I was

heartily ashamed.

Although we call reward and punishment the two hinges upon which all

government turns, yet I could never observe this maxim to be put in practice by

any nation except that of Lilliput. Whoever can there bring sufficient proof that

he has strictly observed the laws of his country for seventy-three moons, has a claim to certain privileges, according to his quality and condition of life, with a

proportionable sum of money out of a fund appropriated for that use: he likewise

acquires the title of snilpall, or legal, which is added to his name, but does not

descend to his posterity. And these people thought it a prodigious defect of policy among us, when I told them our laws were enforced only by penalties, without any mention of reward. It is upon this account that the image of Justice,

in their courts of judicature, is formed with six eyes, two before, as many behind,

and on each side one, to signify circumspection; with a bag of gold open in her

right hand, and a sword sheathed in her left, to show that she is more disposed to

reward than to punish.

In choosing persons for all employments, they have more regard to good morals than to great abilities; for, since government is necessary to mankind, they believe that the common size of human understandings is fitted to some

station or other; and that Providence never intended to make the management of

public affairs a mystery to be comprehended only by a few persons of sublime

genius, of which there seldom are three born in an age. But they suppose truth,

justice, temperance, and the like, to be in every man’s power; the practice of which virtues, assisted by experience and a good intention, would qualify any man for the service of his country, except where a course of study is required.

But they thought the want of moral virtues was so far from being supplied by superior endowments of the mind, that employments could never be put into

such dangerous hands as those of persons so qualified; and at least, that the mistakes committed by ignorance, in a virtuous disposition, would never be of such fatal consequence to the public weal, as the practices of a man whose

inclinations led him to be corrupt, and who had great abilities to manage, and multiply, and defend his corruptions.

In like manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a man incapable

of holding any public station; for since kings avow themselves to be the deputies

of Providence, the Lilliputians think nothing can be more absurd than for a

prince to employ such men as disown the authority under which he acts.

In relating these and the following laws, I would only be understood to mean

the original institutions, and not the most scandalous corruptions, into which these people are fallen by the degenerate nature of man. For, as to that infamous

practice of acquiring great employments by dancing on the ropes, or badges of favor and distinction by leaping over sticks and creeping under them, the reader

is to observe that they were first introduced by the grandfather of the emperor now reigning, and grew to the present height by the gradual increase of party and

faction.

Ingratitude is among them a capital crime, as we read it to have been in some

other countries; for they reason thus: That whosoever makes ill returns to his benefactor, must needs be a common enemy to the rest of mankind, from whom

he has received no obligation, and therefore such a man is not fit to live.

Their notions relating to the duties of parents and children differ extremely from ours. For since the conjunction of male and female is founded upon the great law of nature, in order to propagate and continue the species, the

Lilliputians will needs have it, that men and women are joined together, like other animals, by the motives of concupiscence; and that their tenderness toward

their young proceeds from the like natural principle: for which reason, they will never allow that a child is under any obligation to his father for begetting him, or

to his mother for bringing him into the world; which, considering the miseries of

human life, was neither a benefit in itself, nor intended so by his parents, whose

thoughts, in their love encounters, were otherwise employed. Upon these, and

the like reasonings, their opinion is, that parents are the last of all others to be trusted with the education of their own children; and therefore they have in every

town public nurseries, where all parents, except cottagers and laborers, are

obliged to send their infants of both sexes to be reared and educated when they

come to the age of twenty moons, at which time they are supposed to have some

rudiments of docility. These schools are of several kinds, suited to different qualities and to both sexes. They have certain professors well skilled in

preparing children for such a condition of life as befits the rank of their parents,

and their own capacities as well as inclinations. I shall first say something of the

male nurseries, and then of the female.

The nurseries for males of noble or eminent birth are provided with grave and

learned professors, and their several deputies. The clothes and food of the

children are plain and simple. They are bred up in the principles of honor, justice, courage, modesty, clemency, religion, and love of their country; they are

always employed in some business, except in the times of eating and sleeping, which are very short, and two hours for diversions, consisting of bodily

exercises. They are dressed by men till four years of age, and then are obliged to

dress themselves, although their quality be ever so great; and the women

attendants, who are aged proportionably to ours at fifty, perform only the most menial offices. They are never suffered to converse with servants, but go

together, in smaller or greater numbers, to take their diversions, and always in the presence of a professor or one of his deputies; whereby they avoid those early bad impressions of folly and vice to which our children are subject. Their

parents are suffered to see them only twice a year; the visit is to last but an hour;

they are allowed to kiss the child at meeting and parting; but a professor, who always stands by on those occasions, will not suffer them to whisper, or use any

fondling expressions, or bring any presents of toys, sweetmeats, and the like.

The pension from each family for the education and entertainment of a child,

upon failure of due payment, is levied by the emperor’s officers.

The nurseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants, traders, and

handicrafts, are managed proportionably after the same manner; only those

designed for trades are put out apprentices at eleven years old: whereas those of

persons of quality continue in their nurseries till fifteen, which answers to twenty-one with us; but the confinement is gradually lessened for the last three

years.

In the female nurseries, the young girls of quality are educated much like the

males, only they are dressed by orderly servants of their own sex; but always in

the presence of a professor or deputy, till they come to dress themselves, which

is at five years old. And if it be found that these nurses ever presume to entertain

the girls with frightful or foolish stories, or the common follies practiced by chambermaids among us, they are publicly whipped thrice about the city,

imprisoned for a year, and banished for life to the most desolate part of the country. Thus the young ladies there are as much ashamed of being cowards and

fools as the men, and despise all personal ornaments beyond decency and

cleanliness. Neither did I perceive any difference in their education made by their difference of sex, only that the exercises of the females were not altogether

so robust; and that some rules were given them relating to domestic life, and a

smaller compass of learning was enjoined them: for their maxim is, that among

people of quality, a wife should be always a reasonable and agreeable

companion, because she cannot always be young. When the girls are twelve

years old, which among them is the marriageable age, their parents or guardians

take them home with great expressions of gratitude to the professors, and seldom

without the tears of the young lady and her companions.

In the nurseries of females of the meaner sort, the children are instructed in all

kinds of work proper for their sex, and their several degrees; those intended for

apprentices are dismissed at nine years old, the rest are kept to thirteen.

The meaner families who have children at these nurseries are obliged, besides

their annual pension, which is as low as possible, to return to the steward of the

nursery a small monthly share of their gettings, to be a portion for the child; and

therefore all parents are limited in their expenses by the law. For the Lilliputians

think nothing can be more unjust, than for people, in subservience to their own

appetites, to bring children into the world, and leave the burden of supporting them on the public. As to persons of quality, they give security to appropriate a

certain sum for each child, suitable to their condition; and these funds are always

managed with good husbandry and the most exact justice.

The cottagers and laborers keep their children at home, their business being to

till and cultivate the earth, and therefore their education is of little consequence

to the public; but the old and diseased among them are supported by hospitals;

for begging is a trade unknown in this kingdom.

And here it may, perhaps, divert the curious reader, to give some account of my domestics, and my manner of living in this country, during a residence of nine months and thirteen days. Having a head mechanically turned, and being

likewise forced by necessity, I had made for myself a table and chair convenient

enough, out of the largest trees in the royal park. Two hundred seamstresses were

employed to make me shirts, and linen for my bed and table, all of the strongest

and coarsest kind they could get, which, however, they were forced to quilt

together in several folds, for the thickest was some degrees finer than lawn.

Their linen is usually three inches wide, and three feet make a piece. The

seamstresses took my measure as I lay on the ground, one standing at my neck,

and another at my mid-leg, with a strong cord extended, that each held by the end, while a third measured the length of the cord with a rule an inch long. Then

they measured my right thumb, and desired no more; for by a mathematical

computation, that twice round the thumb is once round the wrist, and so on to the

neck and waist, and by the help of my old shirt, which I displayed on the ground

before them for a pattern, they fitted me exactly. Three hundred tailors were employed in the same manner to make me clothes; but they had another

contrivance for taking my measure. I kneeled down, and they raised a ladder

from the ground to my neck; upon this ladder one of them mounted, and let fall a

plumb line from my collar to the floor, which just answered the length of my coat; but my waist and arms I measured myself. When my clothes were finished,

which was done in my house (for the largest of theirs would not have been able

to hold them) they looked like the patchwork made by the ladies in England, only that mine were all of a color.

I had three hundred cooks to dress my victuals, in little convenient huts built

about my house, where they and their families lived, and prepared me two dishes

apiece. I took up twenty waiters in my hand, and placed them on the table; a hundred more attended below on the ground, some with dishes of meat, and

some with barrels of wine, and other liquors, slung on their shoulders; all which

the waiters above drew up as I wanted, in a very ingenious manner by certain cords, as we draw a bucket up a well in Europe. A dish of their meat was a good

mouthful, and a barrel of their liquor a reasonable draught. Their mutton yields

to ours, but their beef is excellent. I have had a sirloin so large, that I have been

forced to make three bites of it; but this is rare. My servants were astonished to

see me eat it, bones and all, as in our country we do the leg of a lark. Their geese

and turkeys I usually ate at a mouthful, and I confess they far exceed ours. Of their smaller fowl I could take up twenty or thirty at the end of my knife.

One day his imperial majesty, being informed of my way of living, desired

that himself and his royal consort, with the young princes of the blood of both sexes, might have the happiness, as he was pleased to call it, of dining with me.

They came accordingly, and I placed them in chairs of state on my table, just over against me, with their guards about them. Flimnap, the lord high-treasurer,

attended there likewise, with his white staff; and I observed he often looked on

me with a sour countenance, which I would not seem to regard, but ate more than usual, in honor to my dear country, as well as to fill the court with admiration. I have some private reasons to believe that this visit from his majesty

gave Flimnap an opportunity of doing me ill offices to his master. That minister

had always been my secret enemy, though he outwardly caressed me more than

was usual to the moroseness of his nature. He represented to the emperor the low

condition of his treasury; that he was forced to take up money at great discount;

that exchequer bills would not circulate under nine per cent below par; that, in short, I had cost his majesty above a million and a half of sprugs (their greatest gold coin, about the bigness of a spangle); and, upon the whole, it would be advisable in the emperor to take the first fair occasion of dismissing me.

“I have passed many an afternoon very agreeably in these conversations”

Page 65

I am here obliged to vindicate the reputation of an excellent lady, who was an

innocent sufferer on my account. The treasurer took a fancy to be jealous of his

wife, from the malice of some evil tongues, who informed him that her grace had

taken a violent affection for my person, and the court scandal ran for some time,

that she once came privately to my lodging. This I solemnly declare to be a most

infamous falsehood, without any grounds, farther than that her grace was pleased to treat me with all innocent marks of freedom and friendship. I own she came

often to my house, but always publicly, nor ever without three more in the coach,

who were usually her sister and young daughter, and some particular

acquaintance; but this was common to many other ladies of the court. And I still

appeal to my servants round, whether they at any time saw a coach at my door

without knowing what persons were in it. On these occasions, when a servant

had given me notice, my custom was to go immediately to the door; and after paying my respects, to take up the coach and two horses very carefully in my hands (for, if there were six horses, the postilion always unharnessed four), and

place them on a table, where I had fixed a movable rim quite round, of five inches high, to prevent accidents; and I have often had four coaches and horses

at once on my table full of company, while I sat in my chair, leaning my face towards them; and when I was engaged with one set, the coachman would gently

drive the others round my table. I have passed many an afternoon very agreeably

in these conversations. But I defy the treasurer, or his two informers (I will name

them, and let ’em make the best of it), Clustril and Drunlo, to prove that any person ever came to me incognito, except the secretary Reldresal, who was sent

by express command of his imperial majesty, as I have before related. I should

not have dwelt so long upon this particular, if it had not been a point wherein the

reputation of a great lady is so nearly concerned, to say nothing of my own; though I had then the honor to be a nardac, which the treasurer himself is not; for all the world knows that he is only a clumglum, a title inferior by one degree, as that of a marquis is to a duke in England; although I allow he preceded me in

right of his post. These false informations, which I afterwards came to the

knowledge of by an accident not proper to mention, made Flimnap the treasurer

show his lady for some time an ill countenance, and me a worse; and although he

was at last undeceived and reconciled to her, yet I lost all credit with him, and

found my interest decline very fast with the emperor himself, who was, indeed,

too much governed by that favorite.

CHAPTER VII

THE AUTHOR BEING INFORMED OF A DESIGN TO ACCUSE HIM OF HIGH TREASON,

MAKES HIS ESCAPE TO BLEFUSCU—HIS RECEPTION THERE.

Before I proceed to give an account of my leaving this kingdom, it may be

proper to inform the reader of a private intrigue which had been for two months

forming against me. I had been hitherto, all my life, a stranger to courts, for which I was unqualified by the meanness of my condition. I had indeed heard and read enough of the dispositions of great princes and ministers; but never expected to have found such terrible effects of them in so remote a country, governed, as I thought, by very different maxims from those in Europe.

When I was just preparing to pay my attendance on the emperor of Blefuscu, a

considerable person at court (to whom I had been very serviceable at a time when he lay under the highest displeasure of his imperial majesty), came to my

house very privately at night, in a close chair, and, without sending his name, desired admittance. The chairmen were dismissed: I put the chair, with his

lordship in it, into my coat pocket; and giving orders to a trusty servant to say I

was indisposed and gone to sleep, I fastened the door of my house, placed the chair on the table, according to my usual custom, and sat down by it. After the

common salutations were over, observing his lordship’s countenance full of

concern, and inquiring into the reason, he desired I would hear him with patience

in a matter that highly concerned my honor and my life. His speech was to the

following effect, for I took notes of it as soon as he left me:

“You are to know,” said he, “that several committees of council have been

lately called, in the most private manner, on your account; and it is but two days

since his majesty came to a full resolution.

“You are very sensible that Skyresh Bolgolam ( galbet, or high-admiral) has been your mortal enemy almost ever since your arrival. His original reasons I know not; but his hatred is increased since your great success against Blefuscu,

by which his glory as admiral is much obscured. This lord, in conjunction with

Flimnap the high-treasurer, whose enmity against you is notorious on account of

his lady, Limtoc the general, Lalcon the chamberlain, and Balmuff the grand

justiciary, have prepared articles of impeachment against you, for treason and other capital crimes.”

This preface made me so impatient, being conscious of my own merits and

innocence, that I was going to interrupt him; when he entreated me to be silent, and thus proceeded:

“Out of gratitude for the favors you have done me, I procured information of

the whole proceedings, and a copy of the articles; wherein I venture my head for

your service.”

ARTICLES OF IMPEACHMENT

AGAINST

QUINBUS FLESTRIN, THE MAN-MOUNTAIN

ARTICLE I

That the said Quinbus Flestrin, having brought the imperial fleet of

Blefuscu into the royal port, and being afterwards commanded by his

imperial majesty to seize all the other ships of the said empire of

Blefuscu, and reduce that empire to a province, to be governed by a

viceroy from hence, and to destroy and put to death not only all the Big-

endian exiles, but likewise all the people of that empire who would not

immediately forsake the Big-endian heresy; he, the said Flestrin, like a

false traitor against his most auspicious, serene, imperial majesty, did

petition to be excused from the said service, upon pretence or

unwillingness to force the consciences, or destroy the liberties and lives

of an innocent people.

ARTICLE 2

That whereas certain ambassadors arrived from the court of Blefuscu

to sue for peace in his majesty’s court, he, the said Flestrin, did, like a false traitor, aid, abet, comfort, and divert the said ambassadors,

although he knew them to be servants to a prince who was lately an open

enemy to his imperial majesty, and in an open war against his said

majesty.

ARTICLE 3

That the said Quinbus Flestrin, contrary to the duty of a faithful

subject, is now preparing to make a voyage to the court and empire of

Blefuscu, for which he has received only verbal license from his

imperial majesty, and, under color of the said license does falsely and

traitorously intend to take the said voyage, and thereby to aid, comfort,

and abet the emperor of Blefuscu, so late an enemy, and in open war

with his imperial majesty aforesaid.

“There are some other articles; but these are the most important, of

which I have read you an abstract.

“In the several debates upon this impeachment, it must be confessed

that his majesty gave many marks of his great lenity, often urging the

services you had done him, and endeavoring to extenuate your crimes.

The treasurer and admiral insisted that you should be put to the most

painful and ignominious death by setting fire to your house at night; and

the general was to attend with twenty thousand men, armed with

poisoned arrows to shoot you on the face and hands. Some of your

servants were to have private orders to strew a poisonous juice on your

shirts, which would soon make you tear your own flesh, and die in the

utmost torture. The general came into the same opinion, so that for a

long time there was a majority against you; but his majesty, resolving, if

possible, to spare your life, at last brought off the chamberlain.

“Upon this incident, Reldresal, principal secretary for private affairs,

who always approved himself your true friend, was commanded by the

emperor to deliver his opinion, which he accordingly did, and therein

justified the good thoughts you have of him. He allowed your crimes to

be great, but that still there was room for mercy, the most commendable

virtue in a prince, and for which his majesty was so justly celebrated. He

said the friendship between you and him was so well known to the world

that perhaps the most honorable board might think him partial; however,

in obedience to the command he had received, he would freely offer his

sentiments. That if his majesty, in consideration of your services, and

pursuant to his own merciful disposition, would please to spare your life,

and only give orders to put out both your eyes, he humbly conceived

that, by this expedient, justice might in some measure be satisfied, and

all the world applaud the lenity of the emperor, as well as the fair and

generous proceedings of those who have the honor to be his counselors.

That the loss of your eyes would be no impediment to your bodily

strength, by which you might still be useful to his majesty; that blindness

is an addition to courage, by concealing dangers from us; that the fear

you had for your eyes was the greatest difficulty in bringing over the

enemy’s fleet; and it would be sufficient for you to see by the eyes of the

ministers, since the greatest princes do no more.

“This proposal was received with the utmost disapprobation by the

whole board. Bolgolam, the admiral, could not preserve his temper; but,

rising up in fury, said he wondered how the secretary durst presume to

give his opinion for preserving the life of a traitor; that the services you

had performed were, by all true reasons of state, the great aggravation of

your crimes; that the same strength which enabled you to bring over the

enemy’s fleet, might serve, upon the first discontent, to carry it back;

that he had good reasons to think you were a Big-endian in your heart;

and, as treason begins in the heart before it appears in overt acts, so he

accused you as a traitor on that account, and therefore insisted you

should be put to death.

“The treasurer was of the same opinion: he showed to what straits his

majesty’s revenue was reduced by the charge of maintaining you, which

would soon grow insupportable; that the secretary’s expedient of putting

out your eyes was so far from being a remedy against this evil, that it

would probably increase it, as is manifest from the common practice of

blinding some kind of fowl, after which they fed the faster and grew

sooner fat; that his sacred majesty and the council, who are your judges,

were in their own consciences fully convinced of your guilt, which was a

sufficient argument to condemn you to death, without the formal proofs

required by the strict letter of the law.

“But his imperial majesty, fully determined against capital

punishment, was graciously pleased to say, that since the council thought

the loss of your eyes too easy a censure, some other may be inflicted

hereafter. And your friend the secretary, humbly desiring to be heard

again, in answer to what the treasurer had objected concerning the great

charge his majesty was at in maintaining you, said that his excellency,

who had the sole disposal of the emperor’s revenue, might easily provide

against that evil by gradually lessening your establishment; by which,

for want of sufficient food, you will grow weak and faint, and lose your

appetite, and consequently decay and consume in a few months; neither

would the stench of your carcass be then so dangerous, when it should

become more than half diminished; and immediately upon your death,

five or six thousand of his majesty’s subjects might, in two or three days,

cut your flesh from your bones, take it away by cartloads, and bury it in

distant parts, to prevent infection, leaving the skeleton as a monument of

admiration to posterity.

“Thus by the great friendship of the secretary, the whole affair was

compromised. It was strictly enjoined that the project of starving you by degrees should be kept a secret; but the sentence of putting out your eyes

was entered on the books; none dissenting except Bolgolam the admiral,

who, being a creature of the empress, was perpetually instigated by her

majesty to insist upon your death, she having borne perpetual malice

against you.

“In three days your friend the secretary will be directed to come to

your house, and read before you the articles of impeachment; and then to

signify the great lenity and favor of his majesty and council, whereby

you are only condemned to the loss of your eyes, which his majesty does

not question you will gratefully and humbly submit to; and twenty of his

majesty’s surgeons will attend, in order to see the operation well

performed, by discharging very sharp-pointed arrows into the balls of

your eyes, as you lie on the ground.

“I leave to your prudence what measures you will take; and to avoid

suspicion, I must immediately return in as private a manner as I came.”

His lordship did so; and I remained alone, under many doubts and perplexities

of mind.

It was a custom introduced by this prince and his ministry (very different, as I

have been assured, from the practices of former times), that after the court had

decreed any cruel execution, either to gratify the monarch’s resentment, or the malice of a favorite, the emperor made a speech to his whole council, expressing

his great lenity and tenderness as qualities known and confessed by all the world.

This speech was immediately published through the kingdom; nor did anything

terrify the people so much as those encomiums on his majesty’s mercy; because

it was observed that the more these praises were enlarged and insisted on, the more inhuman was the punishment, and the sufferer more innocent. And as to

myself, I must confess, having never been designed for a courtier either by my

birth or education, I was so ill a judge of things that I could not discover the lenity and favor of this sentence, but conceived it (perhaps erroneously) rather to

be rigorous than gentle. I sometimes thought of standing my trial; for, although I

could not deny the facts alleged in the several articles, yet I hoped they would admit of some extenuations. But having in my life perused many state trials, which I ever observed to terminate as the judges thought fit to direct, I durst not

rely on so dangerous a decision, in so critical a juncture, and against such powerful enemies. Once I was strongly bent upon resistance; for while I had

liberty, the whole strength of that empire could hardly subdue me, and I might easily with stones pelt the metropolis to pieces; but I soon rejected that project

with horror, by remembering the oath I had made to the emperor, the favors I received from him, and the high title of nardac he conferred upon me. Neither had I so soon learned the gratitude of courtiers, to persuade myself that his majesty’s present severities quitted me of all past obligations.

At last I fixed upon a resolution for which it is probable I may incur some censure, and not unjustly, for I confess I owe the preserving of my eyes, and consequently my liberty, to my own great rashness and want of experience;

because, if I had then known the nature of princes and ministers, which I have

since observed in many other courts, and their methods of treating criminals less

obnoxious than myself, I should with great alacrity and readiness have submitted

to so easy a punishment. But hurried on by the precipitancy of youth, and having

his imperial majesty’s license to pay my attendance upon the emperor of

Blefuscu, I took this opportunity, before the three days were elapsed, to send a

letter to my friend the secretary signifying my resolution of setting out that morning for Blefuscu, pursuant to the leave I had got; and without waiting for an

answer, I went to that side of the island where our fleet lay. I seized a large man

of war, tied a cable to the prow, and lifting up the anchors, I stripped myself, put

my clothes (together with my coverlet, which I brought under my arm) into the

vessel, and drawing it after me, between wading and swimming, arrived at the royal port of Blefuscu, where the people had long expected me; they lent me two

guides to direct me to the capital city, which is of the same name. I held them in

my hands till I came within two hundred yards of the gate, and desired them to

signify my arrival to one of the secretaries, and let him know I there waited his

majesty’s commands. I had an answer in about an hour, that his majesty, attended

by the royal family, and great officers of the court, was coming out to receive me. I advanced a hundred yards. The emperor and his train alighted from their horses, the empress and ladies from their coaches, and I did not perceive they were in any fright or concern. I lay on the ground to kiss his majesty’s and the

empress’s hands. I told his majesty that I was come according to my promise, and with the license of the emperor my master, to have the honor of seeing so mighty a monarch, and to offer him any service in my power, consistent with my

duty to my own prince; not mentioning a word of my disgrace, because I had hitherto no regular information of it, and might suppose myself wholly ignorant

of any such design; neither could I reasonably conceive that the emperor would

discover the secret while I was out of his power; wherein, however, it soon appeared I was deceived.

I shall not trouble the reader with the particular account of my reception at this court, which was suitable to the generosity of so great a prince; nor of the difficulties I was in for want of a house and bed, being forced to lie on the ground, wrapped up in my coverlet.

CHAPTER VIII

THE AUTHOR, BY A LUCKY ACCIDENT, FINDS MEANS TO LEAVE BLEFUSCU; AND,

AFTER SOME DIFFICULTIES, RETURNS SAFE TO HIS NATIVE COUNTRY.

Three days after my arrival, walking out of curiosity to the northeast coast of

the island, I observed, about half a league off in the sea, somewhat that looked

like a boat overturned. I pulled off my shoes and stockings, and wading two or

three hundred yards, I found the object to approach nearer by force of the tide;

and then plainly saw it to be a real boat, which I supposed might by some tempest have been driven from a ship; whereupon I returned immediately

towards the city, and desired his imperial majesty to lend me twenty of the tallest

vessels he had left after the loss of his fleet, and three thousand seamen, under

the command of his vice-admiral. This fleet sailed round, while I went back the

shortest way to the coast where I first discovered the boat. I found the tide had

driven it still nearer. The seamen were all provided with cordage, which I had beforehand twisted to a sufficient strength. When the ships came up, I stripped

myself, and waded till I came within a hundred yards of the boat, after which I

was forced to swim till I got up to it. The seamen threw me the end of the cord,

which I fastened to a hole in the fore part of the boat, and the other end to a man

of war; but I found all my labor to little purpose; for, being out of my depth, I

was not able to work. In this necessity I was forced to swim behind, and push the

boat forward as often as I could, with one of my hands; and the tide favoring me,

I advanced so far that I could just hold up my chin and feel the ground. I rested

two or three minutes, and then gave the boat another shove, and so on, till the sea was no higher than my arm-pits; and now the most laborious part being over,

I took out my other cables, which were stowed in one of the ships, and fastening

them first to the boat, and then to nine of the vessels which attended me; the wind being favorable, the seamen towed, and I shoved, until we arrived within forty yards of the shore, and waiting till the tide was out, I got dry to the boat,

and by the assistance of two thousand men with ropes and engines, I made a shift

to turn it on its bottom, and found it was but little damaged.

I shall not trouble the reader with the difficulties I was under by the help of certain paddles, which cost me ten days’ making, to get my boat to the royal port

of Blefuscu, where a mighty concourse of people appeared upon my arrival, full

of wonder at the sight of so prodigious a vessel. I told the emperor that my good

fortune had thrown this boat in my way, to carry me to some place whence I

might return into my native country; and begged his majesty’s orders for getting materials to fit it up, together with his license to depart; which, after some kind

expostulations, he was pleased to grant.

I did very much wonder, in all this time, not to have heard of any express relating to me from our emperor to the court of Blefuscu. But I was afterwards

given privately to understand that his imperial majesty, never imagining I had the

least notice of his designs, believed I was only gone to Blefuscu in performance

of my promise, according to the license he had given me, which was well known

at our court, and would return in a few days, when that ceremony was ended. But

he was at last in pain at my long absence; and after consulting with the treasurer

and the rest of that cabal, a person of quality was dispatched with the copy of the

articles against me. This envoy had instructions to represent to the monarch of Blefuscu, the great lenity of his master, who was content to punish me no further

than with the loss of my eyes; that I had fled from justice, and if I did not return

in two hours, I should be deprived of my title of nardac and declared a traitor.

The envoy further added, that in order to maintain the peace and amity between

both empires, his master expected that his brother of Blefuscu would give orders

to have me sent back to Lilliput, bound hand and foot, to be punished as a traitor.

The emperor of Blefuscu, having taken three days to consult, returned an

answer consisting of many civilities and excuses. He said that, as for sending me

bound, his brother knew it was impossible; that although I had deprived him of

his fleet, yet he owed great obligations to me for many good offices I had done

him in making the peace. That, however, both their majesties would soon be

made easy; for I had found a prodigious vessel on the shore, able to carry me on

the sea, which he had given orders to fit up, with my own assistance and

direction; and he hoped in a few weeks both empires would be freed from so insupportable an incumbrance.

With this answer the envoy returned to Lilliput, and the monarch of Blefuscu

related to me all that had passed, offering me at the same time (but under the strictest confidence) his gracious protection if I would continue in his service; wherein, although I believed him sincere, yet I resolved never more to put any confidence in princes or ministers, where I could possibly avoid it; and therefore,

with all due acknowledgments for his favorable intentions, I humbly begged to

be excused. I told him that since fortune, whether good or evil, had thrown a vessel in my way, I was resolved to venture myself on the ocean, rather than be

an occasion of difference between two such mighty monarchs. Neither did I find

the emperor at all displeased; and I discovered, by a certain accident, that he was

very glad of my resolution, and so were most of his ministers.

These considerations moved me to hasten my departure somewhat sooner than

I intended; to which the court, impatient to have me gone, very readily

contributed. Five hundred workmen were employed to make two sails to my

boat, according to my directions, by quilting thirteen folds of their strongest linen together. I was at the pains of making ropes and cables, by twisting ten, twenty, or thirty of the thickest and strongest of theirs. A great stone that I happened to find, after a long search, by the seashore, served me for an anchor. I

had the tallow of three hundred cows for greasing my boat, and other uses. I was

at incredible pains in cutting down some of the largest timber trees for oars and

masts, wherein I was, however, much assisted by his majesty’s ship-carpenters,

who helped me in smoothing them, after I had done the rough work.

In about a month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive his majesty’s

commands, and to take my leave. The emperor and royal family came out of the

palace; I lay down on my face to kiss his hand, which he very graciously gave

me; so did the empress and young princess of the blood. His majesty presented

me with fifty purses of two hundred sprugs apiece, together with his picture at full length, which I put immediately into one of my gloves, to keep it from being

hurt. The ceremonies at my departure were too many to trouble the reader with

at this time.

I stored the boat with the carcasses of a hundred oxen and three hundred

sheep, with bread and drink proportionable, and as much meat ready dressed as

four hundred cooks could provide. I took with me six cows and two bulls alive,

with as many ewes and rams, intending to carry them into my own country and

propagate the breed; and to feed them on board, I had a good bundle of hay and a

bag of corn. I would gladly have taken a dozen of the natives, but this was a thing the emperor would by no means permit; and besides a diligent search into

my pockets, his majesty engaged my honor not to carry away any of his subjects,

although with their own consent and desire.

Having thus prepared all things as well as I was able, I set sail on the twenty-

fourth day of September, 1701, at six in the morning; and when I had gone about

four leagues to the northward, the wind being at southeast, at six in the evening I

descried a small island about half a league to the northwest. I advanced forward,

and cast anchor on the lee side of the island, which seemed to be uninhabited. I

then took some refreshment and went to my rest. I slept well, and I conjecture at

least six hours, for I found the day broke in two hours after I awaked. It was a

clear night. I ate my breakfast before the sun was up, and heaving anchor, the

wind being favorable, I steered the same course that I had done the day before, wherein I was directed by my pocket compass. My intention was to reach, if

possible, one of those islands which I had reason to believe lay to the northeast

of Van Diemen’s Land. I discovered nothing all that day; but upon the next, about three in the afternoon, when I had by my computation made twenty-four

leagues from Blefuscu, I descried a sail steering to the southeast; my course was

due east. I hailed her, but could get no answer; yet I found I gained upon her, for

the wind slackened. I made all the sail I could, and in half an hour she spied me,

then hung out her ancient, and discharged a gun. It is not easy to express the joy

I was in, upon the unexpected hope of once more seeing my beloved country and

the dear pledges I had left in it. The ship slackened her sails, and I came up with

her between five and six in the evening, September twenty-sixth; but my heart leaped within me to see her English colors. I put my cows and sheep into my coat pockets and got on board with all my little cargo of provisions. The vessel

was an English merchantman returning from Japan by the North and South seas;

the captain, Mr. John Biddel of Deptford, a very civil man and an excellent sailor. We were now in the latitude of 30 degrees south. There were about fifty

men in the ship; and here I met an old comrade of mine, one Peter Williams, who

gave me a good character to the captain. This gentleman treated me with

kindness and desired I would let him know what place I came from last, and whither I was bound; which I did in few words, but he thought I was raving, and

that the dangers I underwent had disturbed my head; whereupon I took my black

cattle and sheep out of my pocket, which, after great astonishment, clearly

convinced him of my veracity. I then showed him the gold given me by the

emperor of Blefuscu, together with his majesty’s picture at full length, and some

other rarities of that country. I gave him two purses of two hundred sprugs each, and promised when we arrived in England to make him a present of a cow and a

sheep big with young.

I shall not trouble the reader with a particular account of this voyage, which

was very prosperous for the most part. We arrived in the Downs on the 13th of

April, 1702. I had only one misfortune, that the rats on board carried away one

of my sheep; I found her bones in a hole, picked clean from the flesh. The rest of

my cattle I got safe on shore, and set them a-grazing on a bowling green at Greenwich, where the fineness of the grass made them feed very heartily, though

I had always feared the contrary: neither could I possibly have preserved them in

so long a voyage if the captain had not allowed me some of his best biscuit, which, rubbed to powder and mingled with water, was their constant food. The

short time I continued in England I made a considerable profit by showing my

cattle to many persons of quality and others; and before I began my second voyage I sold them for six hundred pounds. Since my last return I find the breed

is considerably increased, especially the sheep; which I hope will prove much to

the advantage of the woolen manufacture, by the fineness of the fleeces.

I stayed but two months with my wife and family, for my insatiable desire of

seeing foreign countries would suffer me to continue no longer. I left fifteen hundred pounds with my wife, and fixed her in a good house at Redriff. My

remaining stock I carried with me, part in money and part in goods, in hopes to

improve my fortunes. My eldest uncle, John, had left me an estate in land near

Epping of about thirty pounds a year, and I had a long lease of the Black Bull in

Fetter Lane, which yielded me as much more; so that I was not in any danger of

leaving my family upon the parish. My son Johnny, named so after his uncle, was at the grammar school, and a towardly child. My daughter Betty (who is

now well married and has children) was then at her needlework. I took leave of

my wife and boy and girl with tears on both sides, and went on board the

Adventure, a merchant ship of three hundred tons, bound for Surat, Captain John

Nicholas of Liverpool, commander. But my account of this voyage must be

referred to the Second Part of my travels.

THE END OF THE FIRST PART.

A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG

CHAPTER I

A GREAT STORM DESCRIBED; THE LONGBOAT SENT TO FETCH WATER; THE AUTHOR

GOES WITH IT TO DISCOVER THE COUNTRY—HE IS LEFT ON SHORE; IS SEIZED BY

ONE OF THE NATIVES, AND CARRIED TO A FARMER’S HOUSE— HIS RECEPTION

THERE, WITH SEVERAL ACCIDENTS THAT HAPPENED TO HIM—A DESCRIPTION OF

THE INHABITANTS.

Having been condemned by nature and fortune to an active and restless life, in

two months after my return I again left my native country and took shipping in

the Downs on the 20th day of June, 1702, in the Adventure, Captain John

Nicholas, a Cornishman, commander, bound for Surat. We had a very prosperous

gale till we arrived at the Cape of Good Hope, where we landed for fresh water;

but discovering a leak, we unshipped our goods and wintered there; for the

captain falling sick of an ague, we could not leave the Cape till the end of March. We then set sail, and had a good voyage till we passed the straits of Madagascar; but having got northward of that island, and to about five degrees

south latitude, the winds, which in those seas are observed to blow a constant equal gale between the north and west from the beginning of December to the beginning of May, on the 19th of April began to blow with much greater

violence and more westerly than usual, continuing so for twenty days together;

during which time we were driven a little to the east of the Molucca Islands, and

about three degrees northward of the line, as our captain found by an observation

he took the 2d of May, at which time the wind ceased, and it was a perfect calm;

whereat I was not a little rejoiced. But he, being a man well experienced in the

navigation of those seas, bid us all prepare against a storm, which accordingly happened on the day following; for a southern wind, called the southern

monsoon, began to set in.

Finding it was like to overblow, we took in our spritsail, and stood by to hand

the foresail; but making foul weather, we looked if the guns were all fast, and handed the mizzen. The ship lay very broad off, so we thought it better spooning

before the sea, than trying or hulling. We reefed the foresail and set him, and hauled aft the foresheet; the helm was hard a-weather. The ship wore bravely.

We belayed the fore-downhaul; but the sail was split, and we hauled down the yard and got the sail into the ship, and unbound all the things clear of it. It was a

very fierce storm; the sea broke strange and dangerous. We hauled off upon the

lanyard of the whipstaff and helped the man at helm. We would not get down our

topmast, but let all stand, because she scudded before the sea very well, and we

knew that the topmast being aloft, the ship was the wholesomer and made better way through the sea, seeing we had sea room. When the storm was over we set

foresail and mainsail and brought the ship to. Then we set the mizzen, main-topsail and the fore-topsail. Our course was east-north-east, the wind was at southwest. We got the starboard tacks aboard; we cast off our weather braces and

lifts; we set in the lee braces and hauled forward by the weather bowlings, and

hauled them tight, and belayed them, and hauled over the mizzen-tack to

windward, and kept her full and by as near as she would lie.

During this storm, which was followed by a strong wind west-south-west, we

were carried, by my computation, about five hundred leagues to the east, so that

the oldest sailor on board could not tell in what part of the world we were. Our

provisions held out well, our ship was stanch, and our crew all in good health;

but we lay in the utmost distress for water. We thought it best to hold on the same course rather than turn more northerly, which might have brought us to the

northwest parts of Great Tartary and into the Frozen Sea.

On the 16th day of June, 1703, a boy on the topmast discovered land. On the

17th we came in full view of a great island, or continent (for we knew not whether), on the south side whereof was a small neck of land jutting out into the

sea, and a creek too shallow to hold a ship of above one hundred tons. We cast

anchor within a league of this creek, and our captain sent a dozen of his men well armed in the longboat, with vessels for water, if any could be found. I desired his leave to go with them, that I might see the country and make what discoveries I could. When we came to land we saw no river or spring, nor any

sign of inhabitants. Our men therefore wandered on the shore to find out some

fresh water near the sea, and I walked alone about a mile on the other side, where I observed the country all barren and rocky. I now began to be weary, and

seeing nothing to entertain my curiosity, I returned gently down towards the

creek; and the sea being full in my view, I saw our men already got into the boat

and rowing for life to the ship. I was going to holla after them, although it had

been to little purpose, when I observed a huge creature walking after them in the

sea, as fast as he could; he waded not much deeper than his knees, and took prodigious strides. But our men had the start of him half a league, and the sea thereabouts being full of sharp-pointed rocks, the monster was not able to

overtake the boat. This I was afterwards told, for I durst not stay to see the issue

of that adventure, but ran as fast as I could the way I first went, and then climbed

up a steep hill which gave me some prospect of the country. I found it fully cultivated; but that which first surprised me was the length of the grass, which,

in those grounds that seemed to be kept for hay, was above twenty feet high.

I fell into a highroad, for so I took it to be, though it served to the inhabitants only as a footpath through a field of barley. Here I walked on for some time, but

could see little on either side, it being now near harvest, and the corn rising at least forty feet. I was an hour walking to the end of this field, which was fenced

in with a hedge of at least one hundred and twenty feet high, and the trees so lofty that I could make no computation of their altitude. There was a stile to pass

from this field into the next. It had four steps, and a stone to cross over when you

came to the uppermost. It was impossible for me to climb this stile, because every step was six feet high, and the upper stone above twenty. I was

endeavoring to find some gap in the hedge, when I discovered one of the

inhabitants in the next field advancing towards the stile, of the same size with him whom I saw in the sea pursuing our boat. He appeared as tall as an ordinary

spire steeple, and took about ten yards at every stride, as near as I could guess. I

was struck with the utmost fear and astonishment, and ran to hide myself in the

corn, whence I saw him at the top of the stile looking back into the next field on

the right hand, and heard him call in a voice many degrees louder than a

speaking trumpet; but the noise was so high in the air, that at first I certainly thought it was thunder. Whereupon seven monsters like himself came towards

him with reaping hooks in their hands, each hook about the largeness of six scythes. These people were not so well clad as the first, whose servants or laborers they seemed to be; for, upon some words he spoke, they went to reap the corn in the field where I lay. I kept from them at as great a distance as I could, but was forced to move with extreme difficulty, for the stalks of the corn

were sometimes not above a foot distant, so that I could hardly squeeze my body

betwixt them. However, I made a shift to go forward till I came to a part of the

field where the corn had been laid by the rain and wind. Here it was impossible

for me to advance a step; for the stalks were so interwoven that I could not creep

through, and the beards of the fallen ears so strong and pointed that they pierced

through my clothes into my flesh. At the same time I heard the reapers not above

a hundred yards behind me. Being quite dispirited with toil, and wholly

overcome by grief and despair, I lay down between two ridges, and heartily

wished I might there end my days. I bemoaned my desolate widow and

fatherless children. I lamented my own folly and willfulness in attempting a

second voyage against the advice of all my friends and relations. In this terrible

agitation of mind I could not forbear thinking of Lilliput, whose inhabitants looked upon me as the greatest prodigy that ever appeared in the world; where I

was able to draw an imperial fleet in my hand, and perform those other actions

which will be recorded forever in the chronicles of that empire, while posterity

shall hardly believe them, although attested by millions. I reflected what a

mortification it must prove to me to appear as inconsiderable in this nation as one single Lilliputian would be among us. But this I conceived was to be the least of my misfortunes; for, as human creatures are observed to be more savage

and cruel in proportion to their bulk, what could I expect but to be a morsel in

the mouth of the first among these enormous barbarians that should happen to seize me? Undoubtedly philosophers are in the right when they tell us that

nothing is great or little otherwise than by comparison. It might have pleased fortune to let the Lilliputians find some nation where the people were as

diminutive with respect to them, as they were to me. And who knows but that even this prodigious race of mortals might be equally overmatched in some

distant part of the world, whereof we have yet no discovery? Scared and

confounded as I was, I could not forbear going on with these reflections, when

one of the reapers approaching within ten yards of the ridge where I lay, made

me apprehend that with the next step I should be squashed to death under his foot, or cut in two with his reaping hook. And therefore when he was again about to move, I screamed as loud as fear could make me; whereupon the huge

creature trod short, and looking round about under him for some time, at last espied me as I lay on the ground. He considered awhile, with the caution of one

who endeavors to lay hold on a small dangerous animal in such a manner that it

shall not be able either to scratch or to bite him, as I myself have sometimes done with a weasel in England. At length he ventured to take me up behind, by

the middle, between his forefinger and thumb, and brought me within three yards

of his eyes, that he might behold my shape more perfectly. I guessed his

meaning, and my good fortune gave me so much presence of mind, that I

resolved not to struggle in the least as he held me in the air above sixty feet from

the ground, although he grievously pinched my sides, for fear I should slip

through his fingers. All I ventured was to raise my eyes towards the sun and place my hands together in a supplicating posture, and to speak some words in a

humble melancholy tone, suitable to the condition I then was in; for I

apprehended every moment that he would dash me against the ground, as we

usually do any little hateful animal which we have a mind to destroy. But my good star would have it, that he appeared pleased with my voice and gestures, and began to look upon me as a curiosity, much wondering to hear me

pronounce articulate words, although he could not understand them. In the

meantime I was not able to forbear groaning and shedding tears, and turning my

head towards my sides; letting him know, as well as I could, how cruelly I was

hurt by the pressure of his thumb and finger. He seemed to apprehend my

meaning; for, lifting up the lappet of his coat, he put me gently into it, and immediately ran along with me to his master, who was a substantial farmer, and

the same person I had first seen in the field.

The farmer having (as I supposed by their talk) received such an account of me as his servant could give him, took a piece of a small straw, about the size of

a walking staff, and therewith lifted up the lappets of my coat, which, it seems,

he thought to be some kind of covering that nature had given me. He blew my

hair aside to take a better view of my face. He called his hands about him, and

asked them, as I afterwards learned, whether they had ever seen in the fields any

little creature that resembled me. He then placed me softly on the ground upon

all fours, but I got immediately up, and walked slowly backwards and forwards,

to let those people see I had no intent to run away. They all sat down in a circle

about me, the better to observe my motions. I pulled off my hat, and made a low

bow towards the farmer. I fell on my knees, and lifted up my hands and eyes, and spoke several words as loud as I could. I took a purse of gold out of my pocket, and humbly presented it to him. He received it on the palm of his hand,

then applied it close to his eye to see what it was, and afterwards turned it several times with the point of a pin (which he took out of his sleeve), but could

make nothing of it. Whereupon I made a sign that he should place his hand on

the ground. I then took the purse, and opening it, poured all the gold into his palm. There were six Spanish pieces of four pistoles each, besides twenty or thirty smaller coins. I saw him wet the tip of his little finger upon his tongue, and

take up one of my largest pieces, and then another, but he seemed to be wholly

ignorant what they were. He made me a sign to put them again into my purse, and the purse again into my pocket, which after offering it to him several times, I

thought it best to do.

The farmer by this time was convinced I must be a rational creature. He spoke

often to me, but the sound of his voice pierced my ears like that of a watermill,

yet his words were articulate enough. I answered as loud as I could in several languages, and he often laid his ear within two yards of me, but all in vain, for

we were wholly unintelligible to each other. He then sent his servants to their work, and taking his handkerchief out of his pocket, he doubled and spread it on

his left hand, which he placed flat on the ground with the palm upwards, making

me a sign to step into it, as I could easily do, for it was not above a foot in thickness. I thought it my part to obey, and, for fear of falling, laid myself at full

length upon the handkerchief, with the remainder of which he lapped me up to

the head for further security, and in this manner carried me home to his house.

There he called his wife, and showed me to her; but she screamed and ran back,

as women in England do at the sight of a toad or a spider. However, when she

had awhile seen my behavior, and how well I observed the signs her husband

made, she was soon reconciled, and by degrees grew extremely tender of me.

It was about twelve at noon and a servant brought in dinner. It was only one

substantial dish of meat (fit for the plain condition of a husbandman), in a dish of

about four-and-twenty feet diameter. The company were the farmer and his wife,

three children, and an old grandmother. When they were sat down, the farmer

placed me at some distance from him on the table, which was thirty feet high from the floor. I was in a terrible fright, and kept as far as I could from the edge

for fear of falling. The wife minced a bit of meat, then crumbled some bread on a

trencher, and placed it before me. I made her a low bow, took out my knife and

fork, and fell to eat, which gave them exceeding delight. The mistress sent her maid for a small dram cup, which held about three gallons, and filled it with drink; I took up the vessel with much difficulty in both hands, and in a most respectful manner drank to her ladyship’s health, expressing the words as loud as

I could in English, which made the company laugh so heartily that I was almost

deafened with the noise. This liquor tasted like a small cider, and was not unpleasant. Then the master made me a sign to come to his trencher side; but as I

walked on the table, being in great surprise all the time, as the indulgent reader

will easily conceive and excuse, I happened to stumble against a crust, and fell

flat on my face, but received no hurt. I got up immediately, and observing the good people to be in much concern, I took my hat (which I held under my arm

out of good manners), and waving it over my head, gave three huzzas, to show I

had got no mischief by my fall. But advancing forwards towards my master (as I

shall henceforth call him), his youngest son, who sat next to him, an arch boy of

about ten years old, took me up by the legs, and held me so high in the air that I

trembled in every limb; but his father snatched me from him, and at the same time gave him such a box on the left ear as would have felled a European troop

of horse to the earth, ordering him to be taken from the table. But being afraid

the boy might owe me a spite, and well remembering how mischievous all

children among us naturally are to sparrows, rabbits, young kittens, and puppy dogs, I fell on my knees, and pointing to the boy, made my master to understand

as well as I could, that I desired his son might be pardoned. The father complied,

and the lad took his seat again, whereupon I went to him and kissed his hand, which my master took, and made him stroke me gently with it.

In the midst of dinner, my mistress’s favorite cat leaped into her lap. I heard a

noise behind me like that of a dozen stocking weavers at work; and turning my

head, I found it proceeded from the purring of this animal, who seemed to be three times larger than an ox, as I computed by the view of her head, and one of

her paws, while her mistress was feeding and stroking her. The fierceness of this

creature’s countenance altogether discomposed me, though I stood at the further end of the table, above fifty feet off; and though my mistress held her fast, for

fear she might give a spring, and seize me in her talons. But it happened there was no danger, for the cat took not the least notice of me when my master placed

me within three yards of her. And as I have been always told, and found true by

experience in my travels, that flying, or discovering fear, before a fierce animal

is a certain way to make it pursue or attack you; so I resolved, in this dangerous

juncture, to show no manner of concern. I walked with intrepidity five or six times before the very head of the cat, and came within half a yard of her; whereupon she drew herself back, as if she were more afraid of me. I had less apprehension concerning the dogs, whereof three or four came into the room, as

it is usual in farmers’ houses; one of which was a mastiff equal in bulk to four

elephants, and a grey-hound somewhat taller than the mastiff, but not so large.

When dinner was almost done, the nurse came in with a child of a year old in

her arms, who immediately spied me, and began a squall that you might have

heard from London Bridge to Chelsea, after the usual oratory of infants, to get me for a plaything. The mother, out of pure indulgence, took me up, and put me

towards the child, who presently seized me by the middle, and got my head in his mouth, where I roared so loud that the urchin was frighted, and let me drop;

and I should infallibly have broke my neck, if the mother had not held her apron

under me. The nurse, to quiet her babe, made use of a rattle, which was a kind of

hollow vessel filled with great stones, and fastened by a cable to the child’s waist; but all in vain, so that she was forced to apply the last remedy by giving it

suck. I must confess no object ever disgusted me so much as the sight of her monstrous breast, which I cannot tell what to compare with, so as to give the curious reader an idea of its bulk, shape, and color. I had a near sight of her, she

sitting down the more conveniently to give suck, and I standing on the table.

This made me reflect upon the fair skins of our English ladies, who appear so beautiful to us only because they are of our own size, and their defects not to be

seen but through a magnifying glass; where we find by experiment that the

smoothest and whitest skins look rough and coarse, and ill colored.

I remember when I was at Lilliput, the complexions of those diminutive

people appeared to me the fairest in the world; and talking upon this subject with

a person of learning there, who was an intimate friend of mine, he said that my

face appeared much fairer and smoother when he looked on me from the ground,

than it did upon a nearer view when I took him up in my hand and brought him

close, which he confessed was at first a very shocking sight. He said he could discover great holes in my skin; that the stumps of my beard were ten times

stronger than the bristles of a boar, and my complexion made up of several colors, altogether disagreeable. Although I must beg leave to say for myself, that

I am as fair as most of my sex and country, and very little sunburned by all my

travels. On the other side, discoursing of the ladies in that emperor’s court, he used to tell me one had freckles, another too wide a mouth, a third too large a nose; nothing of which I was able to distinguish. I confess this reflection was obvious enough; which, however, I could not forbear, lest the reader might think

those vast creatures were actually deformed: for I must do them the justice to say

they are a comely race of people; and particularly the features of my master’s countenance, although he were but a farmer, when I beheld him from the height

of sixty feet, appeared very well proportioned.

“These horrible animals had the boldness to attack me on both sides”

Page 98

When dinner was done, my master went out to his laborers, and as I could

discover by his voice and gesture, gave his wife a strict charge to take care of me. I was very much tired and disposed to sleep, which my mistress perceiving,

she put me on her own bed, and covered me with a clean white handkerchief, but

larger and coarser than the mainsail of a man of war.

I slept about two hours, and dreamed I was at home with my wife and children, which aggravated my sorrows when I awaked and found myself alone

in a vast room, between two and three hundred feet wide, and above two

hundred high, lying in a bed twenty yards wide. My mistress was gone about her

household affairs, and had locked me in. The bed was eight yards from the floor.

While I was under these circumstances, two rats crept up the curtains, and ran smelling backwards and forwards on the bed. One of them came up almost to my

face, whereupon I rose in a fright, and drew out my hanger to defend myself.

These horrible animals had the boldness to attack me on both sides, and one of

them held his forefeet at my collar; but I had the good fortune to rip up his belly

before he could do me any mischief. He fell down at my feet, and the other, seeing the fate of his comrade, made his escape, but not without one good wound

on the back, which I gave him as he fled, and made the blood run trickling from

him. After this exploit I walked gently to and fro on the bed, to recover my breath and loss of spirits. These creatures were of the size of a large mastiff, but

infinitely more nimble and fierce; so that if I had taken off my belt before I went

to sleep, I must have infallibly been torn to pieces and devoured. I measured the

tail of the dead rat, and found it to be two yards long, wanting an inch; but it went against my stomach to drag the carcass off the bed, where it lay still bleeding. I observed it had yet some life, but with a strong slash across the neck I

thoroughly dispatched it.

Soon after, my mistress came into the room, who seeing me all bloody, ran

and took me up in her hand. I pointed to the dead rat, smiling and making other

signs to show I was not hurt, whereat she was extremely rejoiced, calling the maid to take up the dead rat with a pair of tongs, and throw it out of the window.

Then she set me on a table, where I showed her my hanger all bloody, and

wiping it on the lappet of my coat returned it to the scabbard.

I hope the gentle reader will excuse me for dwelling on particulars, which,

however insignificant they may appear to groveling vulgar minds, yet will

certainly help a philosopher to enlarge his thoughts and imagination, and apply

them to the benefit of public as well as private life, which was my sole design in

presenting this and other accounts of my travels to the world; wherein I have been chiefly studious of truth, without affecting any ornaments of learning or of

style. But the whole scene of this voyage made so strong an impression on my

mind, and is so deeply fixed in my memory, that in committing it to paper I did

not omit one material circumstance; however, upon a strict review, I blotted out

several passages of less moment which were in my first copy, for fear of being

censured as tedious and trifling, whereof travelers are often, perhaps not without

justice, accused.

CHAPTER II

A DESCRIPTION OF THE FARMER’S DAUGHTER—THE AUTHOR CARRIED TO A MARKET

TOWN, AND THEN TO THE METROPOLIS—THE PARTICULARS OF HIS JOURNEY.

My mistress had a daughter of nine years old, a child of forward parts for her

age, very dexterous at her needle, and skillful in dressing her baby. Her mother

and she contrived to fit up the baby’s cradle for me against night. The cradle was

put into a small drawer of a cabinet, and the drawer placed upon a hanging shelf

for fear of the rats. This was my bed all the time I stayed with those people, though made more convenient by degrees, as I began to learn their language and

make my wants known. This young girl was so handy, that after I had once or twice pulled off my clothes before her, she was able to dress and undress me, though I never gave her that trouble when she would let me do either myself.

She made me seven shirts, and some other linen, of as fine cloth as could be got,

which indeed was coarser than sackcloth; and these she constantly washed for

me with her own hands. She was likewise my school-mistress, to teach me the language; when I pointed to anything, she told me the name of it in her own tongue, so that in a few days I was able to call for whatever I had a mind to. She

was very good-natured, and not above forty feet high, being little for her age.

She gave me the name of Grildrig, which the family took up, and afterwards the

whole kingdom. The word imports what the Latins call nanunculus, the Italians

homunceletino, and the English mannikin. To her I chiefly owe my preservation in that country; we never parted while I was there; I called her my

Glumdalclitch, or little nurse; and I should be guilty of great ingratitude if I omitted this honorable mention of her care and affection towards me, which I heartily wish it lay in my power to requite as she deserves, instead of being the

innocent but unhappy instrument of her disgrace, as I have too much reason to

fear.

It now began to be known and talked of in the neighborhood, that my master

had found a strange animal in the field, about the bigness of a splacknuck, but exactly shaped in every part like a human creature; which it likewise imitated in

all its actions; seemed to speak in a little language of its own, had already learned several words of theirs, went erect upon two legs, was tame and gentle,

would come when it was called, do whatever it was bid, had the finest limbs in

the world, and a complexion fairer than a nobleman’s daughter of three years old. Another farmer, who lived hard by, and was a particular friend of my

master, came on a visit on purpose to inquire into the truth of this story. I was immediately produced and placed upon a table, where I walked as I was

commanded, drew my hanger, put it up again, made my reverence to my

master’s guest, asked him in his own language how he did, and told him he was

welcome, just as my little nurse had instructed me. This man, who was old and

dim-sighted, put on his spectacles to behold me better; at which I could not forbear laughing very heartily, for his eyes appeared like the full moon shining

into a chamber at two windows. Our people, who discovered the cause of my

mirth, bore me company in laughing, at which the old fellow was fool enough to

be angry and out of countenance. He had the character of a great miser; and, to

my misfortune, he well deserved it by the cursed advice he gave my master to show me as a sight upon a market day in the next town, which was half an hour’s

riding, about two-and-twenty miles from our house. I guessed there was some

mischief contriving, when I observed my master and his friend whispering long

together, sometimes pointing at me; and my fears made me fancy that I

overheard and understood some of their words. But the next morning

Glumdalclitch, my little nurse, told me the whole matter, which she had

cunningly picked out from her mother. The poor girl laid me on her bosom, and

fell a-weeping with shame and grief. She apprehended some mischief would

happen to me from rude vulgar folks, who might squeeze me to death or break

one of my limbs by taking me in their hands. She had also observed how modest

I was in my nature, how nicely I regarded my honor, and what an indignity I should conceive it to be exposed for money as a public spectacle to the meanest

of the people. She said, her papa and mamma had promised that Grildrig should

be hers; but now she found they meant to serve her as they did last year, when

they pretended to give her a lamb, and yet, as soon as it was fat, sold it to a butcher. For my own part, I may truly affirm that I was less concerned than my

nurse. I had a strong hope which never left me, that I should one day recover my

liberty; and as to the ignominy of being carried about for a monster, I considered

myself to be a perfect stranger in the country, and that such a misfortune could

never be charged upon me as a reproach if ever I should return to England; since

the king of Great Britain himself, in my condition, must have undergone the

same distress.

My master, pursuant to the advice of his friend, carried me in a box the next

market day to the neighboring town, and took along with him his little daughter,

my nurse, upon a pillion behind him. The box was close on every side, with a little door for me to go in and out, and a few gimlet holes to let in air. The girl

had been so careful as to put the quilt of her baby’s bed into it for me to lie down

on. However, I was terribly shaken and discomposed in this journey, though it were but of half an hour; for the horse went about forty feet at every step, and

trotted so high, that the agitation was equal to the rising and falling of a ship in a

great storm, but much more frequent. Our journey was somewhat further than

from London to St. Albans. My master alighted at an inn which he used to

frequent; and after consulting awhile with the innkeeper, and making some

necessary preparations, he hired the grultrud, or crier, to give notice through the town of a strange creature to be seen at the sign of the Green Eagle, not so big as

a splacknuck (an animal in that country very finely shaped, about six feet long), and in every part of the body resembling a human creature, could speak several

words, and perform a hundred diverting tricks.

I was placed upon a table in the largest room of the inn, which might be near

three hundred feet square. My little nurse stood on a low stool close to the table,

to take care of me, and direct what I should do. My master, to avoid a crowd, would suffer only thirty people at a time to see me. I walked about on the table

as the girl commanded; she asked me questions as far as she knew my

understanding of the language reached, and I answered them as loud as I could. I

turned about several times to the company, paid my humble respects, said they

were welcome, and used some other speeches I had been taught. I took up a

thimble filled with liquor, which Glumdalclitch had given me for a cup, and

drank their health. I drew out my hanger, and flourished with it after the manner

of fencers in England. My nurse gave me part of a straw, which I exercised as a

pike, having learned the art in my youth. I was that day shown to twelve sets of

company, and as often forced to go over again with the same fopperies, till I was

half dead with weariness and vexation; for those who had seen me made such

wonderful reports, that the people were ready to break down the doors to come

in. My master, for his own interest, would not suffer any one to touch me except

my nurse; and to prevent danger, benches were set round the table at such a distance as to put me out of everybody’s reach. However, an unlucky schoolboy

aimed a hazelnut directly at my head, which very narrowly missed me; otherwise

it came with so much violence that it would have infallibly knocked out my

brains, for it was almost as large as a small pumpkin; but I had the satisfaction to

see the young rogue well beaten, and turned out of the room.

My master gave public notice that he would show me again the next market

day; and in the meantime he prepared a more convenient vehicle for me, which

he had reason enough to do; for I was so tired with my first journey, and with entertaining company for eight hours together, that I could hardly stand upon my

legs, or speak a word. It was at least three days before I recovered my strength;

and that I might have no rest at home, all the neighboring gentlemen from a hundred miles round, hearing of my fame, came to see me at my master’s own

house. There could not be fewer than thirty persons with their wives and children

(for the country is very populous); and my master demanded the rate of a full room whenever he showed me at home, although it were only to a single family;

so that for some time I had but little ease every day of the week (except Wednesday, which is their Sabbath), although I were not carried to the town.

My master, finding how profitable I was like to be, resolved to carry me to the

most considerable cities of the kingdom. Having therefore provided himself with

all things necessary for a long journey, and settled his affairs at home, he took leave of his wife, and upon the 17th of August, 1703, about two months after my

arrival, we set out for the metropolis, situated near the middle of that empire, and

about three thousand miles’ distance from our house. My master made his

daughter Glumdalclitch ride behind him. She carried me on her lap in a box tied

about her waist. The girl had lined it on all sides with the softest cloth she could

get, well quilted underneath, furnished it with her baby’s bed, provided me with

linen and other necessaries, and made everything as convenient as she could. We

had no other company but a boy of the house, who rode after us with the

luggage.

My master’s design was to show me in all the towns by the way, and to step

out of the road, for fifty or a hundred miles, to any village or person of quality’s

house where he might expect custom. We made easy journeys, of not above

seven or eight score miles a day; for Glumdalclitch, on purpose to spare me, complained she was tired with the trotting of the horse. She often took me out of

my box at my own desire, to give me air, and show me the country, but always

held me fast by a leading string. We passed over five or six rivers many degrees

broader and deeper than the Nile or the Ganges; and there was hardly a rivulet so

small as the Thames at London Bridge. We were ten weeks in our journey, and I

was shown in eighteen large towns, besides many villages and private families.

On the 26th day of October we arrived at the metropolis, called in their

language Lorbrulgrud, or Pride of the Universe. My master took a lodging in the

principal street of the city, not far from the royal palace, and put out bills in the

usual form, containing an exact description of my person and parts. He hired a

large room between three and four hundred feet wide. He provided a table sixty

feet in diameter, upon which I was to act my part, and palisadoed round three feet from the edge, and as many high, to prevent my falling over. I was shown

ten times a day, to the wonder and satisfaction of all people. I could now speak

the language tolerably well, and perfectly understood every word that was spoken to me. Besides, I had learned their alphabet, and could make a shift to explain a sentence here and there; for Glumdalclitch had been my instructor

while we were at home, and at leisure hours during our journey. She carried a little book in her pocket, not much larger than a Sanson’s Atlas; it was a common treatise for the use of young girls, giving a short account of their religion; out of this she taught me my letters, and interpreted the words.

CHAPTER III

THE AUTHOR SENT FOR TO COURT—THE QUEEN BUYS HIM OF HIS MASTER, THE

FARMER, AND PRESENTS HIM TO THE KING—HE DISPUTES WITH HIS MAJESTY’S

GREAT SCHOLARS—AN APARTMENT AT COURT PROVIDED FOR THE AUTHOR—HE

IS IN HIGH FAVOR WITH THE QUEEN—HE STANDS UP FOR THE HONOR OF HIS OWN

COUNTRY—HIS QUARRELS WITH THE QUEEN’S DWARF.

The frequent labors I underwent every day made in a few weeks a very

considerable change in my health. The more my master got by me, the more

insatiable he grew. I had quite lost my stomach, and was almost reduced to a skeleton. The farmer observed it, and concluding I must soon die, resolved to make as good a hand of me as he could. While he was thus reasoning and

resolving with himself, a slardral, or gentleman usher, came from court, commanding my master to carry me immediately thither for the diversion of the

queen and her ladies. Some of the latter had already been to see me, and reported

strange things of my beauty, behavior, and good sense. Her majesty and those who attended her were beyond measure delighted with my demeanor. I fell on

my knees, and begged the honor of kissing her imperial foot; but this gracious princess held out her little finger towards me (after I was set on a table) which I

embraced in both my arms, and put the tip of it with the utmost respect to my lip.

She made me some general questions about my country and my travels, which I

answered as distinctly and in as few words as I could. She asked whether I would be content to live at court. I bowed down to the board of the table, and humbly answered that I was my master’s slave, but if I were at my own disposal,

I should be proud to devote my life to her majesty’s service. She then asked my

master whether he were willing to sell me at a good price. He, who apprehended

I could not live a month, was ready enough to part with me, and demanded a thousand pieces of gold, which were ordered him on the spot, each piece being

about the bigness of eight hundred moidores; but allowing for the proportion of

all things between that country and Europe, and the high price of gold among them, was hardly so great a sum as a thousand guineas would be in England. I

then said to the queen, since I was now her majesty’s most humble creature and

vassal, I must beg the favor that Glumdalclitch, who had always tended me with

so much care and kindness, and understood to do it so well, might be admitted

into her service, and continue to be my nurse and instructor. Her majesty agreed

to my petition, and easily got the farmer’s consent, who was glad enough to have

his daughter preferred at court; and the poor girl herself was not able to hide her

joy. My late master withdrew, bidding me farewell, and saying he had left me in

a good service; to which I replied not a word, only making him a slight bow.

The queen observed my coldness, and, when the farmer was gone out of the

apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her majesty that I owed no

other obligation to my late master than his not dashing out the brains of a poor

harmless creature found by chance in his field, which obligation was amply

recompensed by the gain he had made in showing me through half the kingdom,

and the price he had now sold me for. That the life I had since led was laborious

enough to kill an animal of ten times my strength. That my health was much impaired by the continual drudgery of entertaining the rabble every hour of the

day; and that if my master had not thought my life in danger, her majesty, perhaps, would not have got so cheap a bargain. But as I was out of all fear of

being ill treated, under the protection of so great and good an empress, the ornament of nature, the darling of the world, the delight of her subjects, the phœnix of the creation; so I hoped my late master’s apprehensions would appear

to be groundless, for I already found my spirits to revive by the influence of her

most august presence.

This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great improprieties and

hesitation. The latter part was altogether framed in the style peculiar to that people, whereof I learned some phrases from Glumdalclitch, while she was

carrying me to court.

The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in speaking, was,

however, surprised at so much wit and good sense in so diminutive an animal.

She took me in her own hand, and carried me to the king, who was then retired

to his cabinet. His majesty, a prince of much gravity and austere countenance, not well observing my shape at first view, asked the queen, after a cold manner,

how long it was since she grew fond of a splacknuck; for such it seems he took

me to be, as I lay upon my breast in her majesty’s right hand. But this princess,

who has an infinite deal of wit and humor, set me gently on my feet upon the scrutoire, and commanded me to give his majesty an account of myself, which I

did in a very few words; and Glumdalclitch, who attended at the cabinet door, and could not endure I should be out of her sight, being admitted, confirmed all

that had passed from my arrival at her father’s house.

The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his dominions, and had

been educated in the study of philosophy, and particularly mathematics; yet

when he observed my shape exactly, and saw me walk erect, before I began to

speak conceived I might be a piece of clockwork (which is in that country

arrived to a very great perfection) contrived by some ingenious artist. But when

he heard my voice and found what I delivered to be regular and rational, he could not conceal his astonishment. He was by no means satisfied with the

relation I gave him of the manner I came into his kingdom, but thought it a story

concerted between Glumdalclitch and her father, who had taught me a set of

words to make me sell at a higher price. Upon this imagination he put several other questions to me, and still received rational answers, no otherwise defective

than by a foreign accent, and an imperfect knowledge in the language, with some

rustic phrases which I had learned at the farmer’s house, and did not suit the polite style of a court.

His majesty sent for three great scholars who were then in their weekly

waiting, according to the custom of that country. These gentlemen, after they had

awhile examined my shape with much nicety, were of different opinions

concerning me. They all agreed that I could not be produced according to the regular laws of nature, because I was not framed with a capacity of preserving my life, either by swiftness, or climbing of trees, or digging holes in the earth.

They observed by my teeth, which they viewed with great exactness, that I was a

carnivorous animal; yet most quadrupeds being an overmatch for me, and field

mice, with some others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I should be able

to support myself, unless I fed upon snails and other insects, which they offered,

by many learned arguments, to evince that I could not possibly do. One of these

virtuosi seemed to think that I might be an embryo, or abortive birth. But this opinion was rejected by the other two, who observed my limbs to be perfect and

finished, and that I had lived several years, as it was manifested from my beard,

the stumps whereof they plainly discovered through a magnifying glass. They

would not allow me to be a dwarf, because my littleness was beyond all degrees

of comparison; for the queen’s favorite dwarf, the smallest ever known in that kingdom, was near thirty feet high. After much debate, they concluded

unanimously that I was only relplum scalcath, which is, interpreted literally, lusus naturæ; a determination exactly agreeable to the modern philosophy of Europe, whose professors, disdaining the old evasion of occult causes, whereby

the followers of Aristotle endeavor in vain to disguise their ignorance, have invented this wonderful solution of all difficulties, to the unspeakable

advancement of human knowledge.

After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a word or two. I applied

myself to the king, and assured his majesty that I came from a country which abounded with several millions of both sexes, and of my own stature; where the

animals, trees, and houses were all in proportion, and where, by consequence, I

might be as able to defend myself, and to find sustenance, as any of his majesty’s

subjects could do here; which I took for a full answer to those gentlemen’s arguments. To this they only replied with a smile of contempt, saying that the farmer had instructed me very well in my lesson. The king, who had a much

better understanding, dismissing his learned men, sent for the farmer, who by good fortune was not yet gone out of town. Having therefore first examined him

privately, and then confronted him with me and the young girl, his majesty began

to think that what we told him might possibly be true. He desired the queen to

order that a particular care should be taken of me; and was of opinion that Glumdalclitch should still continue in her office of tending me, because he

observed we had a great affection for each other. A convenient apartment was provided for her at court; she had a sort of governess appointed to take care of

her education, a maid to dress her, and two other servants for menial offices; but

the care of me was wholly appropriated to herself. The queen commanded her

own cabinetmaker to contrive a box that might serve me for a bedchamber, after

the model that Glumdalclitch and I should agree upon. This man was a most

ingenious artist, and according to my directions, in three weeks finished for me a

wooden chamber of sixteen feet square, and twelve high, with sash windows, a

door, and two closets, like a London bedchamber. The board that made the

ceiling was to be lifted up and down by two hinges, to put in a bed ready furnished by her majesty’s upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every day

to air, made it with her own hands, and letting it down at night, locked up the roof over me. A nice workman, who was famous for little curiosities, undertook

to make me two chairs, with backs and frames, of a substance not unlike ivory,

and two tables, with a cabinet to put my things in. The room was quilted on all

sides, as well as the floor and the ceiling, to prevent any accident from the carelessness of those who carried me, and to break the force of a jolt when I went in a coach. I desired a lock for my door, to prevent rats and mice from coming in. The smith, after several attempts, made the smallest that ever was seen among them, for I have known a larger at the gate of a gentleman’s house in

England. I made a shift to keep the key in a pocket of my own, fearing

Glumdalclitch might lose it. The queen likewise ordered the thinnest silks that could be gotten, to make me clothes, not much thicker than an English blanket,

very cumbersome till I was accustomed to them. They were after the fashion of

the kingdom, partly resembling the Persian, and partly the Chinese, and are a very grave decent habit.

The queen became so fond of my company that she could not dine without

me. I had a table placed upon the same at which her majesty ate, just at her left

elbow, and a chair to sit on. Glumdalclitch stood on a stool on the floor, near my

table, to assist and take care of me. I had an entire set of silver dishes and plates, and other necessaries, which in proportion to those of the queen, were not much

bigger than what I have seen of the same kind in a London toy-shop, for the furniture of a baby-house; these my little nurse kept in her pocket in a silver box,

and gave me at meals as I wanted them, always cleaning them herself. No person

dined with the queen but the two princesses royal, the elder sixteen years old, and the younger at that time thirteen and a month. Her majesty used to put a bit

of meat upon one of my dishes, out of which I carved for myself; and her

diversion was to see me eat in miniature; for the queen (who had indeed but a weak stomach) took up at one mouthful as much as a dozen English farmers

could eat at a meal, which to me was for some time a very nauseous sight. She

would crunch the wing of a lark, bones and all, between her teeth, although it were nine times as large as that of a full-grown turkey; and put a bit of bread in

her mouth, as big as two twelve-penny loaves. She drank out of a golden cup, above a hogshead at a draught. Her knives were twice as long as a scythe set straight upon the handle; the spoons, forks, and other instruments were all in the

same proportion. I remember when Glumdalclitch carried me, out of curiosity, to

see some of the tables at court, where ten or a dozen of these enormous knives

and forks were lifted up together, I thought I had never till then beheld so terrible

a sight.

It is the custom that every Wednesday (which, as I have observed, is their

Sabbath) the king and queen, with the royal issue of both sexes, dine together in

the apartment of his majesty, to whom I was now become a great favorite; and at

these times my little chair and table were placed at his left hand before one of the

salt-cellars. This prince took a pleasure in conversing with me, inquiring into the

manners, religion, laws, government, and learning of Europe, wherein I gave

him the best account I was able. His apprehension was so clear and his judgment

so exact that he made very wise reflections and observations upon all I said. But

I confess that after I had been a little too copious in talking of my own beloved

country, of our trade and wars by sea and land, of our schisms in religion, and parties in the state, the prejudices of his education prevailed so far that he could

not forbear taking me up in his right hand and stroking me gently with the other,

after a hearty fit of laughing, asked me whether I were a Whig or a Tory. Then

turning to his first minister, who waited behind him with a white staff, near as tall as the mainmast of the Royal Sovereign, he observed how contemptible a

thing was human grandeur, which could be mimicked by such diminutive insects

as I. “And yet,” said he, “I dare engage these creatures have their titles and distinctions of honor; they contrive little nests and burrows, that they call houses

and cities; they make a figure in dress and equipage; they love, they fight, they dispute, they cheat, they betray.” And thus he continued on, while my color came

and went several times with indignation to hear our noble country, the mistress

of arts and arms, the scourge of France, the arbitress of Europe, the seat of virtue, piety, honor, and truth, the pride and envy of the world, so

contemptuously treated.

But as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so upon mature thoughts I began to doubt whether I were injured or no. For, after having been accustomed

several months to the sight and converse of this people, and observed every

object upon which I cast my eyes to be of proportionable magnitude, the horror I

had at first conceived from their bulk and aspect was so far worn off that if I had

then beheld a company of English lords and ladies in their finery and birthday clothes, acting their several parts in the most courtly manner of strutting, and bowing, and prating, to say the truth, I should have been strongly tempted to laugh as much at them as the king and his grandees did at me. Neither, indeed,

could I forbear smiling at myself when the queen used to place me upon her hand towards a looking-glass, by which both our persons appeared before me in

full view together; and there could nothing be more ridiculous than the

comparison; so that I really began to imagine myself dwindled many degrees

below my usual size.

Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the queen’s dwarf, who, being

of the lowest stature that was ever in that country (for I verily think he was not

full thirty feet high), became so insolent at seeing a creature so much beneath him, that he would always affect to swagger and look big as he passed by me in

the queen’s antechamber, while I was standing on some table talking with the lords or ladies of the court, and he seldom failed of a small word or two upon my

littleness; against which I could only revenge myself by calling him brother, challenging him to wrestle, and such repartees as are usual in the mouths of court pages. One day at dinner, this malicious little cub was so nettled with something I had said to him, that, raising himself upon the frame of her

majesty’s chair, he took me up by the middle, as I was sitting down, not thinking

any harm, and let me drop into a large silver bowl of cream, and then ran away

as fast as he could. I fell over head and ears, and if I had not been a good swimmer it might have gone very hard with me; for Glumdalclitch in that instant

happened to be at the other end of the room, and the queen was in such a fright

that she wanted presence of mind to assist me. But my little nurse ran to my relief, and took me out, after I had swallowed above a quart of cream. I was put

to bed; however, I received no other damage than the loss of a suit of clothes,

which was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was soundly whipped, and as a further punishment, forced to drink up the bowl of cream into which he had thrown me.

Neither was he ever restored to favor; for soon after the queen bestowed him on

a lady of high quality, so that I saw him no more, to my very great satisfaction:

for I could not tell to what extremity such a malicious urchin might have carried

his resentment.

He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the queen a-laughing,

although at the same time she were heartily vexed, and would have immediately

cashiered him, if I had not been so generous as to intercede. Her majesty had taken a marrowbone upon her plate, and, after knocking out the marrow, placed

the bone again on the dish erect, as it stood before; the dwarf, watching his opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was gone to the sideboard, mounted upon the

stool she stood on to take care of me at meals, took me up in both hands, and squeezing my legs together, wedged them into the marrowbone above my waist,

where I stuck for some time, and made a very ridiculous figure. I believe it was

near a minute before any one knew what was become of me, for I thought it below me to cry out. But, as princes seldom get their meat hot, my legs were not

scalded, only my stockings and breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf, at my entreaty, had no other punishment than a sound whipping.

I was frequently rallied by the queen upon account of my fearfulness; and she

used to ask me whether the people of my country were as great cowards as

myself! The occasion was this: The kingdom is much pestered with flies in

summer; and these odious insects, each of them as big as a Dunstable lark,

hardly gave me any rest while I sat at dinner, with their continual humming and

buzzing about my ears. They would sometimes alight upon my victuals.

Sometimes they would fix upon my nose or forehead, where they stung me to

the quick, smelling very offensively; and I could easily trace that viscous matter

which, our naturalists tell us, enables those creatures to walk with their feet upwards upon a ceiling. I had much ado to defend myself against these

detestable animals, and could not forbear starting when they came on my face. It

was the common practice of the dwarf to catch a number of these insects in his

hand, as schoolboys do among us, and let them out suddenly under my nose, on

purpose to frighten me, and divert the queen. My remedy was to cut them in pieces with my knife as they flew in the air, wherein my dexterity was much admired.

I remember one morning when Glumdalclitch had set me in my box upon a

window, as she usually did in fair days to give me air (for I durst not venture to

let the box be hung on a nail out of the window, as we do with cages in England), after I had lifted up one of my sashes, and sat down at my table to eat

a piece of sweet cake for my breakfast, above twenty wasps, allured by the

smell, came flying into the room, humming louder than the drones of as many bagpipes. Some of them seized my cake and carried it piecemeal away; others

flew about my head and face, confounding me with the noise, and putting me in

the utmost terror of their stings. However, I had the courage to rise and draw my

hanger, and attack them in the air. I dispatched four of them, but the rest got away, and I presently shut my window. These creatures were as large as

partridges; I took out their stings, found them an inch and a half long, and as sharp as needles. I carefully preserved them all; and having since shown them, with some other curiosities, in several parts of Europe, upon my return to

England I gave three of them to Gresham College and kept the fourth for myself.

CHAPTER IV

THE COUNTRY DESCRIBED—A PROPOSAL FOR CORRECTING MODERN MAPS—THE

KING’S PALACE, AND SOME ACCOUNT OF THE METROPOLIS—THE AUTHOR’S WAY

OF TRAVELING—THE CHIEF TEMPLE DESCRIBED.

I now intend to give the reader a short description of this country, as far as I

traveled in it, which was not above two thousand miles round Lorbrulgrud, the

metropolis. For the queen, whom I always attended, never went further when she

accompanied the king in his progresses, and there stayed till his majesty returned

from viewing his frontiers. The whole extent of this prince’s dominions reaching

about six thousand miles in length, and from three to five in breadth; from whence I cannot but conclude that our geographers of Europe are in a great error,

by supposing nothing but sea between Japan and California; for it was ever my

opinion that there must be a balance of earth to counterpoise the great continent

of Tartary; and therefore they ought to correct their maps and charts by joining

this vast tract of land to the northwest parts of America, wherein I shall be ready

to lend them my assistance.

The kingdom is a peninsula, terminated to the northeast by a ridge of

mountains thirty miles high, which are altogether impassable, by reason of the volcanoes upon the tops; neither do the most learned know what sort of mortals

inhabit beyond those mountains, or whether they be inhabited at all. On the three

other sides, it is bounded by the ocean. There is not one seaport in the whole kingdom; and those parts of the coasts into which the rivers issue, are so full of

pointed rocks, and the sea generally so rough, that there is no venturing with the

smallest of their boats; so that these people are wholly excluded from any

commerce with the rest of the world. But the large rivers are full of vessels, and

abound with excellent fish; for they seldom get any from the sea, because the sea

fish are of the same size with those in Europe, and consequently not worth

catching; whereby it is manifest, that nature, in the production of plants and animals of so extraordinary a bulk, is wholly confined to this continent, of which

I leave the reasons to be determined by philosophers. However, now and then

they take a whale that happens to be dashed against the rocks, which the

common people feed on heartily. These whales I have known so large, that a

man could hardly carry one upon his shoulders; and sometimes, for curiosity,

they are brought in hampers to Lorbrulgrud; I saw one of them in a dish at the

king’s table, which passed for a rarity, but I did not observe he was fond of it; for

I think, indeed, the bigness disgusted him, although I have seen one somewhat

larger in Greenland.

The country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty-one cities, near a hundred walled towns, and a great number of villages. To satisfy my curious reader, it may be sufficient to describe Lorbrulgrud. This city stands upon almost two

equal parts on each side of the river that passes through. It contains above eighty

thousand houses, and about six hundred thousand inhabitants. It is in length three

glongluns (which make about fifty-four English miles), and two and a half in breadth, as I measured it myself in the royal map made by the king’s order, which was laid on the ground on purpose for me, and extended a hundred feet; I

paced the diameter and circumference several times barefoot, and computing by

the scale, measured it pretty exactly.

The king’s palace is no regular edifice, but a heap of buildings about seven miles round; the chief rooms are generally two hundred and forty feet high, and

broad and long in proportion. A coach was allowed to Glumdalclitch and me,

wherein her governess frequently took her out to see the town, or go among the

shops; and I was always of the party, carried in my box; although the girl, at my

own desire, would often take me out, and hold me in her hand, that I might more

conveniently view the houses and the people, as we passed along the streets. I reckoned our coach to be about a square of Westminster Hall, but not altogether

so high; however, I cannot be very exact. One day the governess ordered our coachman to stop at several shops, where the beggars, watching their

opportunity, crowded to the sides of the coach, and gave me the most horrible spectacles that ever an English eye beheld.

Beside the large box in which I was usually carried, the queen ordered a

smaller one to be made for me, of about twelve feet square, and ten high, for the

convenience of traveling; because the other was somewhat too large for

Glumdalclitch’s lap, and cumbersome in the coach; it was made by the same

artist, whom I directed in the whole contrivance. This traveling closet was an exact square, with a window in the middle of three of the squares, and each window was latticed with iron wire on the outside, to prevent accidents in long

journeys. On the fourth side, which had no window, two strong staples were

fixed, through which the person that carried me, when I had a mind to be on horseback, put in a leather belt, and buckled it about his waist. This was always

the office of some grave trusty servant in whom I could confide, whether I

attended the king and queen in their progresses, or were disposed to see the gardens, or pay a visit to some great lady or minister of state in the court, when

Glumdalclitch happened to be out of order; for I soon began to be known and

esteemed among the greatest officers, I suppose more upon account of their majesties’ favor than any merit of my own. In journeys, when I was weary of the

coach, a servant on horseback would buckle my box, and place it on a cushion

before him; and there I had a full prospect of the country on three sides from my

three windows. I had in this closet a field bed, and a hammock hung from the ceiling, two chairs and a table, neatly screwed to the floor, to prevent being tossed by the agitation of the horse or the coach. And having long been used to

sea voyages, those motions, although sometimes very violent, did not much

discompose me.

Whenever I had a mind to see the town, it was always in my traveling closet,

which Glumdalclitch held in her lap in a kind of open sedan, after the fashion of

the country, borne by four men, and attended by two others in the queen’s livery.

The people, who had often heard of me, were very curious to crowd about the sedan, and the girl was complaisant enough to make the bearers stop, and to take

me in her hand that I might be more conveniently seen.

I was very desirous to see the chief temple, and particularly the tower

belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the kingdom. Accordingly, one

day my nurse carried me thither, but I may truly say I came back disappointed;

for the height is not above three thousand feet, and reckoning from the ground to

the highest pinnacle top; which, allowing for the difference between the size of

those people and us in Europe, is no great matter for admiration, nor at all equal

in proportion (if I rightly remember) to Salisbury steeple. But, not to detract from a nation to which, during my life, I shall acknowledge myself extremely obliged, it must be allowed that whatever this famous tower wants in height, is

amply made up in beauty and strength; for the walls are near a hundred feet thick, built of hewn stone, whereof each is about forty feet square, and adorned

on all sides with statues of gods and emperors cut in marble larger than the life,

placed in their several niches. I measured a little finger which had fallen down

from one of these statues, and lay unperceived among some rubbish, and found it

exactly four feet and an inch in length. Glumdalclitch wrapped it up in her handkerchief, and carried it home in her pocket, to keep among other trinkets, of

which the girl was very fond, as children at her age usually are.

The king’s kitchen is indeed a noble building, vaulted at top, and about six hundred feet high. The great oven is not so wide by ten paces as the cupola at St.

Paul’s; for I measured the latter on purpose, after my return. But if I should describe the kitchen grate, the prodigious pots and kettles, the joints of meat turning on the spits, with many other particulars, perhaps I should be hardly

believed; at least a severe critic would be apt to think I enlarged a little, as travelers are often suspected to do. To avoid which censure, I fear I have run too

much into the other extreme, and that if this treatise should happen to be

translated into the language of Brobdingnag (which is the general name of that

kingdom), and transmitted thither, the king and his people would have reason to

complain that I had done them an injury by a false and diminutive

representation.

His majesty seldom keeps above six hundred horses in his stables; they are

generally from fifty-four to sixty feet high. But when he goes abroad on solemn

days, he is attended, for state, by a militia guard of five hundred horse, which indeed I thought was the most splendid sight that could be ever beheld, till I saw

part of his army in battalia, whereof I shall find another occasion to speak.

CHAPTER V

SEVERAL ADVENTURES THAT HAPPENED TO THE AUTHOR—THE EXECUTION OF A

CRIMINAL—THE AUTHOR SHOWS HIS SKILL IN NAVIGATION.

I should have lived happy enough in that country, if my littleness had not

exposed me to several ridiculous and troublesome accidents; some of which I

shall venture to relate. Glumdalclitch often carried me into the gardens of the court in my smaller box, and would sometimes take me out of it and hold me in

her hand, or set me down to walk. I remember, before the dwarf left the queen,

he followed us one day into those gardens, and my nurse having set me down, he

and I being close together, near some dwarf apple trees, I must need show my wit by a silly allusion between him and the trees, which happens to hold in their

language as it does in ours. Whereupon, the malicious rogue, watching his

opportunity, when I was walking under one of them, shook it directly over my head, by which a dozen apples, each of them near as large as a Bristol barrel, came tumbling about my ears; one of them hit me on the back as I chanced to stoop, and knocked me down flat on my face; but I received no other hurt, and

the dwarf was pardoned at my desire, because I had given the provocation.

Another day, Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth grassplot to divert myself,

while she walked at some distance with her governess. In the meantime, there suddenly fell such a violent shower of hail, that I was immediately, by the force

of it, struck to the ground; and when I was down, the hailstones gave me such cruel bangs all over the body, as if I had been pelted with tennis balls; however, I

made a shift to creep on all fours, and shelter myself by lying flat on my face on

the lee side of a border of lemon-thyme; but so bruised from head to foot that I

could not go abroad in ten days. Neither is this at all to be wondered at, because

nature in that country observing the same proportion through all her operations,

a hailstone is near eighteen hundred times as large as one in Europe; which I can

assert upon experience, having been so curious to weigh and measure them.

But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same garden, when my

little nurse, believing she had put me in a secure place (which I often entreated

her to do, that I might enjoy my own thoughts), and having left my box at home

to avoid the trouble of carrying it, went to another part of the garden with her governess and some ladies of her acquaintance. While she was absent, and out of

hearing, a small white spaniel belonging to one of the chief gardeners, having got by accident into the garden, happened to range near the place where I lay: the

dog following the scent, came directly up, and taking me in his mouth, ran straight to his master, wagging his tail, and set me gently on the ground. By good

fortune he had been so well taught, that I was carried between his teeth without

the least hurt, or even tearing my clothes. But the poor gardener, who knew me

well, and had a great kindness for me, was in a terrible fright; he gently took me

up in both his hands, and asked me how I did; but I was so amazed and out of

breath, that I could not speak a word. In a few minutes I came to myself, and he

carried me safe to my little nurse, who by this time had returned to the place where she had left me, and was in cruel agonies when I did not appear, nor answer when she called. She severely reprimanded the gardener on account of

his dog. But the thing was hushed up, and never known at court, for the girl was

afraid of the queen’s anger; and truly, as to myself, I thought it would not be for

my reputation that such a story should go about.

This accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to trust me abroad

for the future out of her sight. I had been long afraid of this resolution, and therefore concealed from her some little unlucky adventures that happened in

those times when I was left by myself. Once a kite, hovering over the garden, made a stoop at me, and if I had not resolutely drawn my hanger, and run under a

thick espalier, he would have certainly carried me away in his talons. Another time, walking to the top of a fresh molehill, I fell to my neck in the hole through

which that animal had cast up the earth, and coined some lie, not worth

remembering, to excuse myself for spoiling my clothes. I likewise broke my

right shin against the shell of a snail, which I happened to stumble over as I was

walking alone and thinking on poor England.

“I banged it a good while with one of my sculls”

Page 132

I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to observe, in those solitary walks, that the smaller birds did not appear to be at all afraid of me, but

would hop about within a yard’s distance, looking for worms and other food,

with as much indifference and security as if no creature at all were near them. I

remember, a thrush had the confidence to snatch out of my hand with his bill a

piece of cake that Glumdalclitch had just given me for my breakfast. When I attempted to catch any of these birds, they would boldly turn against me,

endeavoring to pick my fingers, which I durst not venture within their reach; and

then they would hop back unconcerned, to hunt for worms or snails as they did

before. But one day, I took a thick cudgel, and threw it with all my strength so

luckily at a linnet, that I knocked him down, and seizing him by the neck with

both my hands, ran with him in triumph to my nurse. However, the bird, who had only been stunned, recovering himself, gave me so many boxes with his

wings on both sides of my head and body, though I held him at arm’s length, and

was out of the reach of his claws, that I was twenty times thinking to let him go.

But I was soon relieved by one of our servants, who wrung off the bird’s neck,

and I had him next day for dinner, by the queen’s command. This linnet, as near

as I can remember, seemed to be somewhat larger than an English swan.

One day a young gentleman who was nephew to my nurse’s governess, came

and pressed them both to see an execution. It was of a man who had murdered

one of that gentleman’s intimate acquaintance. Glumdalclitch was prevailed on

to be of the company, very much against her inclination, for she was naturally tender-hearted; and as for myself, although I abhorred such kind of spectacles, yet my curiosity tempted me to see something that I thought must be

extraordinary. The malefactor was fixed in a chair upon a scaffold erected for the

purpose, and his head cut off at a blow with a sword of about forty feet long. The

veins and arteries spouted up such a prodigious quantity of blood, and so high in

the air, that the great jet d’eau at Versailles was not equal for the time it lasted; and the head, when it fell on the scaffold floor, gave such a bounce as made me

start, although I were at least half an English mile distant.

The queen, who often used to hear me talk of my sea voyages, and took all occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked me whether I understood

how to handle a sail or an oar, and whether a little exercise of rowing might not

be convenient for my health. I answered that I understood both very well; for although my proper employment had been to be surgeon or doctor to the ship, yet often, upon a pinch, I was forced to work like a common mariner. But I could

not see how this could be done in their country, where the smallest wherry was

equal to a first-rate man of war among us; and such a boat as I could manage would never live in any of their rivers. Her majesty said, if I would contrive a boat, her own joiner should make it, and she would provide a place for me to sail

in. The fellow was an ingenious workman, and by my instructions, in ten days finished a pleasure boat, with all its tackling, able conveniently to hold eight Europeans. When it was finished, the queen was so delighted that she ran with it

in her lap to the king, who ordered it to be put in a cistern full of water, with me in it, by way of trial, where I could not manage my two sculls or little oars for

want of room. But the queen had before contrived another project. She ordered

the joiner to make a wooden trough of three hundred feet long, fifty broad, and

eight deep; which being well pitched to prevent leaking, was placed on the floor

along the wall, in an outer room of the palace. It had a cock near the bottom to

let out the water when it began to grow stale; and two servants could easily fill it

in half an hour. Here I often used to row for my own diversion, as well as that of

the queen and her ladies, who thought themselves well entertained with my skill

and agility. Sometimes I would put up my sail, and then my business was only to

steer, while the ladies gave me a gale with their fans; and when they were weary,

some of the pages would blow my sail forward with their breath, while I showed

my art by steering starboard or larboard as I pleased. When I had done,

Glumdalclitch always carried back my boat into her closet, and hung it on a nail

to dry.

In this exercise I once met an accident which had like to have cost me my life;

for, one of the pages having put my boat into the trough, the governess who attended Glumdalclitch very officiously lifted me up, to place me in the boat; but

I happened to slip through her fingers, and should have infallibly fallen down forty feet, upon the floor, if by the luckiest chance in the world I had not been

stopped by a corking-pin that stuck in the good gentlewoman’s stomacher; the

head of the pin passed between my shirt and the waistband of my breeches, and

thus I was held by the middle in the air till Glumdalclitch ran to my relief.

Another time, one of the servants, whose office it was to fill my trough every

third day with fresh water, was so careless to let a huge frog (not perceiving it)

slip out of his pail. The frog lay concealed till I was put into my boat, but then,

seeing a resting place, climbed up, and made it lean so much on one side, that I

was forced to balance it with all my weight on the other, to prevent overturning.

When the frog was got in, it hopped at once half the length of the boat, and then

over my head, backwards and forwards, daubing my face and clothes with its

odious slime. The largeness of its features made it appear the most deformed animal that can be conceived. However, I desired Glumdalclitch to let me deal with it alone. I banged it a good while with one of my sculls, and at last forced it

to leap out of the boat.

But the greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom was from a monkey,

who belonged to one of the clerks of the kitchen. Glumdalclitch had locked me

up in her closet, while she went somewhere upon business, or a visit. The

weather being very warm, the closet window was left open, as well as the windows and door of my bigger box, in which I usually lived, because of its largeness and conveniency. As I sat quietly meditating at my table, I heard

something bounce in at the closet window, and skip about from one side to the

other; whereat, although I was much alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but stirred not from my seat; and then I saw this frolicsome animal frisking and leaping up and down, till at last he came to my box, which he seemed to view

with great pleasure and curiosity, peeping in at the door and every window. I retreated to the farther corner of my room, or box; but the monkey, looking in at

every side, put me into such a fright, that I wanted presence of mind to conceal

myself under the bed, as I might easily have done. After some time spent in peeping, grinning, and chattering, he at last espied me; and reaching one of his

paws in at the door, as a cat does when she plays with a mouse, although I often

shifted place to avoid him, he at length seized the lappet of my coat (which being

made of that country cloth, was very thick and strong) and dragged me out. He

took me up in his right forefoot, and held me as a nurse does a child she is going

to suckle, just as I have seen the same sort of creature do with a kitten in Europe;

and when I offered to struggle, he squeezed me so hard, that I thought it more prudent to submit. I have good reason to believe that he took me for a young one

of his own species, by his often stroking my face very gently with his other paw.

In these diversions he was interrupted by a noise at the closet door, as if somebody were opening it; whereupon he suddenly leaped up to the window at

which he had come in, and thence upon the leads and gutters, walking upon three

legs, and holding me in the fourth, till he clambered up to a roof that was next to

ours. I heard Glumdalclitch give a shriek at the moment he was carrying me out.

The poor girl was almost distracted; that quarter of the palace was all in an uproar; the servants ran for ladders; the monkey was seen by hundreds in the court, sitting upon the ridge of a building, holding me like a baby in one of his

forepaws, and feeding me with the other, by cramming into my mouth some

victuals he had squeezed out of the bag on one side of his chaps, and patting me

when I would not eat; whereat many of the rabble below could not forbear

laughing; neither do I think they justly ought to be blamed, for, without question,

the sight was ridiculous enough to everybody but myself. Some of the people

threw up stones, hoping to drive the monkey down; but this was strictly

forbidden, or else very probably my brains had been dashed out.

The ladders were now applied, and mounted by several men: which the

monkey observing, and finding himself almost encompassed, not being able to

make speed enough with his three legs, let me drop on a ridge tile, and made his

escape. Here I sat for some time, three hundred yards from the ground, expecting every moment to be blown down by the wind, or to fall by my own giddiness,

and come tumbling over and over from the ridge to the eaves; but an honest lad,

one of my nurse’s footmen, climbed up, and putting me into his breeches pocket,

brought me down safe.

I was almost choked with the filthy stuff the monkey had crammed down my

throat; but my dear little nurse picked it out of my mouth with a small needle, and then I fell a-vomiting, which gave me great relief. Yet I was so weak and bruised in the sides with the squeezes given me by this odious animal, that I was

forced to keep my bed a fortnight. The king, queen, and all the court sent every

day to inquire after my health; and her majesty made me several visits during my

sickness. The monkey was killed, and an order made that no such animal should

be kept about the palace.

When I attended the king after my recovery, to return him thanks for his

favors, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this adventure. He asked me

what my thoughts and speculations were while I lay in the monkey’s paw, how I

liked the victuals he gave me, his manner of feeding, and whether the fresh air

on the roof had sharpened my stomach. He desired to know what I would have

done upon such an occasion in my own country. I told his majesty, that in Europe

we had no monkeys except such as were brought for curiosities from other

places, and so small that I could deal with a dozen of them together, if they presumed to attack me. And as for that monstrous animal with whom I was so

lately engaged (it was indeed as large as an elephant), if my fears had suffered

me to think so far as to make use of my hanger (looking fiercely and clapping my hand upon the hilt as I spoke) when he poked his paw into my chamber,

perhaps I should have given him such a wound as would have made him glad to

withdraw it with more haste than he put it in. This I delivered in a firm tone, like

a person who was jealous lest his courage should be called in question. However,

my speech produced nothing else besides a loud laughter, which all the respect

due to his majesty from those about him could not make them contain. This

made me reflect how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavor doing himself

honor among those who are out of all degree of equality or comparison with

him. And yet I have seen the moral of my own behavior very frequently in

England since my return; where a little contemptible varlet, without the least title

to birth, person, wit, or common sense, shall presume to look with importance,

and put himself upon a foot with the greatest persons of the kingdom.

CHAPTER VI

SEVERAL CONTRIVANCES OF THE AUTHOR TO PLEASE THE KING AND QUEEN—HE

SHOWS HIS SKILL IN MUSIC—THE KING INQUIRES INTO THE STATE OF EUROPE,

WHICH THE AUTHOR RELATES TO HIM—THE KING’S OBSERVATIONS THEREON.

I used to attend the king’s levee once or twice a week, and had often seen him

under the barber’s hand, which indeed was at first very terrible to behold; for the

razor was almost twice as long as an ordinary scythe. His majesty, according to

the custom of the country, was only shaved twice a week. I once prevailed on the

barber to give me some of the suds or lather, out of which I picked forty or fifty

of the strongest stumps of hair. I then took a piece of fine wood, and cut it like

the back of a comb, making several holes in it at equal distance with as small a

needle as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I fixed in the stumps so artificially, scraping and sloping them with my knife towards the points, that I made a very

tolerable comb; which was a seasonable supply, my own being so much broken

in the teeth that it was almost useless: neither did I know any artist in that country so nice and exact, as would undertake to make me another.

And this puts me in mind of an amusement wherein I spent many of my

leisure hours. I desired the queen’s woman to save for me the combings of her

majesty’s hair, whereof in time I got a good quantity; and consulting with my friend the cabinetmaker, who had received general orders to do little jobs for me,

I directed him to make two chair frames, no larger than those I had in my box,

and to bore little holes with a fine awl round those parts where I designed the backs and seats; through these holes I wove the strongest hairs I could pick out,

just after the manner of cane chairs in England. When they were finished, I made

a present of them to her majesty, who kept them in her cabinet, and used to show

them for curiosities, as indeed they were the wonder of every one that beheld them. The queen would have me sit upon one of these chairs, but I absolutely refused to obey her, protesting I would rather die a thousand deaths than place part of my body on those precious hairs that once adorned her majesty’s head. Of

these hairs (as I had always a mechanical genius) I likewise made a neat little purse about five feet long, with her majesty’s name deciphered in gold letters, which I gave to Glumdalclitch by the queen’s consent. To say the truth, it was more for show than use, being not of strength to bear the weight of the larger coins, and therefore she kept nothing in it but some little toys that girls are fond

of.

The king, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at court, to which I was sometimes carried, and set in my box on a table to hear them; but the noise

was so great that I could hardly distinguish the tunes. I am confident that all the

drums and trumpets of a royal army, beating and sounding together just at your

ears, could not equal it. My practice was to have my box removed from the

places where the performers sat, as far as I could, then to shut the doors and windows of it, and draw the window curtains, after which I found their music not

disagreeable.

I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet. Glumdalclitch kept

one in her chamber, and a master attended twice a week to teach her. I call it a

spinet, because it somewhat resembled that instrument, and was played upon in

the same manner. A fancy came into my head that I would entertain the king and

queen with an English tune upon this instrument. But this appeared extremely

difficult; for the spinet was near sixty feet long, each key being almost a foot wide, so that with my arms extended I could not reach to above five keys, and to

press them down required a good smart stroke with my fist, which would be too

great a labor and to no purpose. The method I contrived was this: I prepared two

round sticks about the bigness of common cudgels; they were thicker at one end

than the other, and I covered the thicker ends with a piece of a mouse’s skin, that

by rapping on them I might neither damage the tops of the keys nor interrupt the

sound. Before the spinet a bench was placed, about four feet below the keys, and

I was put upon the bench. I ran sideling upon it, that way and this, as fast as I could, banging the proper keys with my two sticks, and made a shift to play a jig, to the great satisfaction of both their majesties; but it was the most violent exercise I ever underwent; and yet I could not strike above sixteen keys, nor, consequently, play the bass and treble together, as other artists do; which was a

great disadvantage to my performance.

The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of excellent understanding,

would frequently order that I should be brought in my box, and set upon the table in his closet. He would then command me to bring one of my chairs out of

the box, and sit down within three yards’ distance upon the top of the cabinet, which brought me almost to a level with his face. In this manner I had several conversations with him. I one day took the freedom to tell his majesty that the contempt he discovered towards Europe, and the rest of the world, did not seem

answerable to those excellent qualities of mind he was master of; that reason did

not extend itself with the bulk of the body; on the contrary, we observed in our

country that the tallest persons were usually least provided with it; that among other animals, bees and ants had the reputation of more industry, art, and

sagacity than many of the larger kinds; and that, as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I hoped I might live to do his majesty some signal service. The king heard

me with attention, and began to conceive a much better opinion of me than he had ever before. He desired I would give him as exact an account of the

government of England as I possibly could; because, as fond as princes

commonly are of their own customs (for so he conjectured of other monarchs by

my former discourses), he should be glad to hear of anything that might deserve

imitation.

Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished for the tongue

of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have enabled me to celebrate the praises of

my own dear native country in a style equal to its merits and felicity.

I began my discourse by informing his majesty that our dominions consisted

of two islands, which composed three mighty kingdoms under one sovereign,

besides our plantations in America. I dwelt long upon the fertility of our soil, and

the temperature of our climate. I then spoke at large upon the constitution of an

English Parliament, partly made up of an illustrious body called the House of Peers, persons of the noblest blood, and of the most ancient and ample

patrimonies. I described that extraordinary care always taken of their education

in arts and arms, to qualify them for being counselors born to the king and kingdom, to have a share in the legislature; to be members of the highest court of

judicature, from whence there could be no appeal; and to be champions always

ready for the defense of their prince and country, by their valor, conduct, and fidelity. That these were the ornament and bulwark of the kingdom, worthy

followers of their most renowned ancestors, whose honor had been the reward of

their virtue, from which their posterity were never once known to degenerate. To

these were joined several holy persons, as part of that assembly, under the title of

bishops, whose peculiar business it is to take care of religion, and of those who

instruct the people therein. These were searched and sought out through the

whole nation, by the prince and his wisest counselors, among such of the

priesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by the sanctity of their lives,

and the depth of their erudition; who were indeed the spiritual fathers of the clergy and the people.

That the other part of the Parliament consisted of an assembly called the

House of Commons, who were all principal gentlemen, freely picked and culled

out by the people themselves, for their great abilities and love of their country, to

represent the wisdom of the whole nation. And these two bodies make up the

most august assembly in Europe, to whom, in conjunction with the prince, the

whole legislature is committed.

I then descended to the courts of justice, over which the judges, those

venerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for determining the

disputed rights and properties of men, as well as for the punishment of vice and

protection of innocence. I mentioned the prudent management of our treasury;

the valor and achievements of our forces by sea and land. I computed the

number of our people, by reckoning how many millions there might be of each

religious sect or political party among us. I did not omit even our sports and pastimes, or any other particular which I thought might redound to the honor of

my country. And I finished all with a brief historical account of affairs and events in England for about a hundred years past.

This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of several hours;

and the king heard the whole with great attention, frequently taking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums of several questions he intended to ask

me.

When I had put an end to these long discourses, his majesty in a sixth

audience consulting his notes, proposed many doubts, queries, and objections,

upon every article. He asked what methods were used to cultivate the minds and

bodies of our young nobility, and in what kind of business they commonly spent

the first and teachable part of their lives. What course was taken to supply that

assembly when any noble family became extinct. What qualifications were

necessary in those who were to be created new lords. Whether the humor of the

prince, a sum of money to a court lady or a Prime Minister, or a design of strengthening a party opposite to the public interest, ever happened to be motives

in those advancements. What share of knowledge these lords had in the laws of

their country, and how they came by it, so as to enable them to decide the properties of their fellow subjects in the last resort. Whether they were always so

free from avarice, partialities, or want, that a bribe, or some other sinister view,

could have no place among them. Whether those holy lords I spoke of were

always promoted to that rank upon account of their knowledge in religious

matters, and the sanctity of their lives, had never been compliers with the times

while they were common priests, or slavish prostitute chaplains to some

nobleman, whose opinions they continued servilely to follow after they were

admitted into that assembly.

He then desired to know what arts were practiced in electing those whom I

called commoners; whether a stranger with a strong purse might not influence

the vulgar voters to choose him before their own landlord, or the most

considerable gentleman in the neighborhood. How it came to pass, that people were so violently bent upon getting into this assembly, which I allowed to be a

great trouble and expense, often to the ruin of their families, without any salary

or pension; because this appeared such an exalted strain of virtue and public spirit, that his majesty seemed to doubt it might possibly not be always sincere.

And he desired to know whether such zealous gentlemen could have any views

of refunding themselves for the charges and trouble they were at, by sacrificing

the public good to the designs of a weak and vicious prince in conjunction with a

corrupted ministry. He multiplied his questions, and sifted me thoroughly upon

every part of this head, proposing numberless inquiries and objections, which I

think it not prudent or convenient to repeat.

Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice his majesty desired to be

satisfied in several points; and this I was the better able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by a long suit in chancery, which was decreed for me with costs. He asked what time was usually spent in determining between right

and wrong, and what degree of expense. Whether advocates and orators had

liberty to plead in causes manifestly known to be unjust, vexatious, or

oppressive. Whether party in religion or politics were observed to be of any weight in the scale of justice. Whether those pleading orators were persons

educated in the general knowledge of equity, or only in provincial, national, and

other local customs. Whether they or their judges had any part in penning those

laws which they assumed the liberty of interpreting and glossing upon at their pleasure. Whether they had ever, at different times, pleaded for and against the

same cause, and cited precedents to prove contrary opinions. Whether they were

a rich or a poor corporation. Whether they received any pecuniary reward for pleading, or delivering their opinions. And particularly, whether they were ever

admitted as members in the lower senate.

He fell next upon the management of our treasury; and said he thought my

memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes at about five or six

millions a year, and when I came to mention the issues, he found they sometimes

amounted to more than double: for the notes he had taken were very particular in

this point, because he hoped, as he told me, that the knowledge of our conduct

might be useful to him, and he could not be deceived in his calculations. But if

what I told him were true, he was still at a loss how a kingdom could run out of

its estate like a private person. He asked me who were our creditors; and where

we should find money to pay them. He wondered to hear me talk of such

chargeable and extensive wars; that certainly we must be a quarrelsome people,

or live among very bad neighbors, and that our generals must needs be richer

than our kings. He asked what business we had out of our own islands, unless upon the score of trade or treaty, or to defend the coasts with our fleet. Above all,

he was amazed to hear me talk of a mercenary standing army in the midst of peace, and among a free people. He said if we were governed by our own

consent in the persons of our representatives, he could not imagine of whom we

were afraid, or against whom we were to fight; and would hear my opinion,

whether a private man’s house might not better be defended by himself, his

children, and family, than by half a dozen rascals picked up at a venture in the

streets for small wages, who might get a hundred times more by cutting their throats.

He laughed at my odd kind of arithmetic, as he was pleased to call it, in reckoning the numbers of our people by a computation drawn from the several

sects among us in religion and politics. He said he knew no reason why those who entertain opinions prejudicial to the public, should be obliged to change, or

should not be obliged to conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any government

to require the first, so it was weakness not to enforce the second: for a man may

be allowed to keep poisons in his closet, but not to vend them about for cordials.

He observed, that among the diversions of our nobility and gentry, I had

mentioned gaming. He desired to know at what age this entertainment was

usually taken up, and when it was laid down; how much of their time it

employed; whether it ever went so high as to affect their fortunes; whether mean

vicious people by their dexterity in that art might not arrive at great riches, and

sometimes keep our very nobles in dependence, as well as habituate them to vile

companions, wholly take from them the improvement of their minds, and force

them, by the losses they have received, to learn and practice that infamous

dexterity upon others.

He was perfectly astonished with the historical account I gave him of our

affairs during the last century, protesting it was only a heap of conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions, banishments, the very worst effects

that avarice, faction, hypocrisy, perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness, hatred, envy, lust, malice, or ambition could produce.

His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to recapitulate the sum of all I had spoken; compared the questions he made with the answers I had given;

then taking me into his hands, and stroking me gently, delivered himself in these

words, which I shall never forget, nor the manner he spoke them in: “My little

friend Grildrig, you have made a most admirable panegyric upon your country;

you have clearly proved that ignorance, idleness, and vice may be sometimes the

only ingredients for qualifying a legislator; that laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied, by those whose interest and abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and eluding them. I observe among you some lines of an institution

which in its original might have been tolerable, but these half erased, and the rest

wholly blurred and blotted by corruptions. It does not appear, from all you have

said, how any one virtue is required towards the procurement of any one station

among you; much less that men are ennobled on account of their virtue; that priests are advanced by their piety or learning; soldiers for their conduct or valor; judges for their integrity; senators for the love of their country; or counselors for their wisdom. As for yourself,” continued the king, “who have

spent the greatest part of your life in traveling, I am well disposed to hope you

may hitherto have escaped many vices of your country. But by what I have

gathered from your own relation, and the answers I have with much pains

wringed and extorted from you, I cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives to

be the most pernicious race of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth.”

CHAPTER VII

THE AUTHOR’S LOVE OF HIS COUNTRY—HE MAKES A PROPOSAL OF MUCH

ADVANTAGE TO THE KING, WHICH IS REJECTED—THE KING’S GREAT IGNORANCE

IN POLITICS—THE LEARNING OF THAT COUNTRY VERY IMPERFECT AND

CONFINED—THE LAWS, AND MILITARY AFFAIRS, AND PARTIES IN THE STATE.

Nothing but an extreme love of truth could have hindered me from concealing

this part of my story. It was in vain to discover my resentments, which were always turned into ridicule; and I was forced to rest with patience while my noble and beloved country was so injuriously treated. I am heartily sorry as any

of my readers can possibly be, that such an occasion was given; but this prince

happened to be so curious and inquisitive upon every particular, that it could not

consist either with gratitude or good manners to refuse giving him what

satisfaction I was able. Yet thus much I may be allowed to say in my own

vindication, that I artfully eluded many of his questions, and gave to every point

a more favorable turn, by many degrees, than the strictness of truth would allow.

For I have always borne that laudable partiality to my own country, which

Dionysius Halicarnassensis with so much justice recommends to an historian: I

would hide the frailties and deformities of my political mother, and place her virtues and beauties in the most advantageous light. This was my sincere

endeavor in those many discourses I had with that monarch, although it

unfortunately failed of success.

But great allowances should be given to a king who lives wholly secluded

from the rest of the world, and must therefore be altogether unacquainted with the manners and customs that most prevail in other nations; the want of which knowledge will ever produce many prejudices, and a certain narrowness of

thinking, from which we and the politer countries of Europe are wholly

exempted. And it would be hard indeed, if so remote a prince’s notions of virtue

and vice were to be offered as a standard for all mankind.

To confirm what I have now said, and further to show the miserable effects of

a confined education, I shall here insert a passage which will hardly obtain belief. In hopes to ingratiate myself further into his majesty’s favor, I told him of

an invention discovered between three and four hundred years ago, to make a

certain powder, into a heap of which the smallest spark of fire falling, would kindle the whole in a moment, although it were as big as a mountain, and make it

all fly up in the air together, with a noise and agitation greater than thunder. That

a proper quantity of this powder rammed into a hollow tube of brass or iron, according to its bigness, would drive a ball of iron or lead with such a violence

and speed as nothing was able to sustain its force. That the largest balls thus discharged, would not only destroy whole ranks of an army at once, but batter the strongest walls to the ground; sink down ships with a thousand men in each,

to the bottom of the sea; and when linked together by a chain, would cut through

masts and rigging, divide hundreds of bodies in the middle, and lay all waste before them. That we often put this powder into large hollow balls of iron, and

discharged them by an engine into some city we were besieging, which would

rip up the pavements, tear the houses to pieces, burst and throw splinters on every side, dashing out the brains of all who came near. That I knew the

ingredients very well, which were cheap and common; I understood the manner

of compounding them, and could direct his workmen how to make those tubes of

a size proportionable to all other things in his majesty’s kingdom, and the largest

need not be above a hundred feet long; twenty or thirty of which tubes, charged

with the proper quantity of powder and balls, would batter down the walls of the

strongest town in his dominions in a few hours, or destroy the whole metropolis,

if ever it should pretend to dispute his absolute commands. This I humbly

offered to his majesty as a small tribute of acknowledgment in return of so many

marks that I had received of his royal favor and protection.

The king was struck with horror at the description I had given of those terrible

engines, and the proposal I had made. He was amazed how so impotent and

groveling an insect as I (these were his expressions) could entertain such

inhuman ideas, and in so familiar a manner as to appear wholly unmoved at all

the scenes of blood and desolation which I had painted as the common effects of

those destructive machines; whereof, he said, some evil genius, enemy to

mankind, must have been the first contriver. As for himself, he protested that although few things delighted him so much as new discoveries in art or in

nature, yet he would rather lose half his kingdom than be privy to such a secret,

which he commanded me, as I valued my life, never to mention any more.

A strange effect of narrow principles and short views! that a prince possessed

of every quality which procures veneration, love, and esteem; of strong parts, great wisdom, and profound learning; indued with admirable talents for

government, and almost adored by his subjects, should from a nice unnecessary

scruple, whereof in Europe we can have no conception, let slip an opportunity put into his hands that would have made him absolute master of the lives, the liberties, and the fortunes of his people. Neither do I say this with the least intention to detract from the many virtues of that excellent king, whose

character, I am sensible, will on this account be very much lessened in the opinion of an English reader; but I take this defect among them to have risen from their ignorance, they not having hitherto reduced politics into a science, as

the more acute wits of Europe have done. For, I remember very well, in a

discourse one day with the king, when I happened to say there were several

thousand books among us written upon the art of government, it gave him

(directly contrary to my intention) a very mean opinion of our understandings.

He professed both to abominate and despise all mystery, refinement, and

intrigue, either in a prince or a minister. He could not tell what I meant by secrets

of state, where an enemy or some rival nation were not in the case. He confined

the knowledge of governing within very narrow bounds, to common sense and

reason, to justice and lenity, to the speedy determination of civil and criminal causes; with some other obvious topics which are not worth considering. And he

gave it for his opinion, that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades

of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would

deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country than the

whole race of politicians put together.

The learning of this people is very defective, consisting only in morality,

history, poetry, and mathematics, wherein they must be allowed to excel. But the

last of these is wholly applied to what may be useful in life, to the improvement

of agriculture and all mechanical arts; so that among us it would be little esteemed. And as to ideas, entities, abstractions, and transcendentals, I could never drive the least conception into their heads.

No law of that country must exceed in words the number of letters in their alphabet, which consists only in two-and-twenty. But indeed few of them extend

even to that length. They are expressed in the most plain and simple terms, wherein those people are not mercurial enough to discover above one

interpretation; and to write a comment upon any law is a capital crime. As to the

decision of civil causes, or proceedings against criminals, their precedents are so

few, that they have little reason to boast of any extraordinary skill in either.

They have had the art of printing, as well as the Chinese, time out of mind.

But their libraries are not very large; for that of the king, which is reckoned the

biggest, does not amount to above a thousand volumes, placed in a gallery of twelve hundred feet long, whence I had liberty to borrow what books I pleased.

The queen’s joiner had contrived in one of Glumdalclitch’s rooms a kind of

wooden machine five-and-twenty feet high, formed like a standing ladder; the

steps were each fifty feet long; it was indeed a moveable pair of stairs, the lowest

end placed at ten feet distance from the wall of the chamber. The book I had a mind to read, was put up leaning against the wall. I first mounted to the upper step of the ladder, and turning my face towards the book, began at the top of the

page, and so walking to the right and left about eight or ten paces, according to

the length of the lines, till I had gotten a little below the level of mine eyes, and

then descending gradually till I came to the bottom; after which I mounted again,

and began the other page in the same manner, and so turned over the leaf, which

I could easily do with both my hands, for it was as thick and stiff as a pasteboard, and in the largest folios not above eighteen or twenty feet long.

Their style is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid; for they avoid

nothing more than multiplying unnecessary words, or using various expressions.

I have perused many of their books, especially those in history and morality.

Among the rest, I was much diverted with a little old treatise, which always lay

in Glumdalclitch’s bedchamber, and belonged to her governess, a grave elderly

gentlewoman, who dealt in writings of morality and devotion. The book treats of

the weakness of human kind, and is in little esteem except among the women

and the vulgar. However, I was curious to see what an author of that country could say upon such a subject. This writer went through all the usual topics of European moralists, showing how diminutive, contemptible, and helpless an

animal was man in his own nature; how unable to defend himself from the

inclemencies of the air, or the fury of wild beasts; how much he was excelled by

one creature in strength, by another in speed, by a third in foresight, by a fourth

in industry. He added that nature was degenerated in these latter declining ages

of the world, and could now produce only small abortive births in comparison of

those in ancient times. He said it was very reasonable to think, not only that the

species of men were originally much larger, but also that there must have been

giants in former ages, which, as it is asserted by history and tradition, so it has

been confirmed by huge bones and skulls casually dug up in several parts of the

kingdom, far exceeding the common dwindled race of man in our days. He

argued that the very laws of nature absolutely required we should have been

made, in the beginning, of a size more large and robust, not so liable to

destruction from every little accident of a tile falling from a house or a stone cast

from the hand of a boy, or of being drowned in a little brook. From this way of

reasoning the author drew several moral applications, useful in the conduct of life, but needless here to repeat. For my own part, I could not avoid reflecting how universally this talent was spread of drawing lectures in morality, or indeed

rather matter of discontent and repining, from the quarrels we raise with nature.

And I believe, upon a strict inquiry, those quarrels might be shown as ill-

grounded among us as they are among that people.

As to their military affairs, they boast that the king’s army consists of a hundred and seventy-six thousand foot and thirty-two thousand horse: if that

may be called an army which is made up of tradesmen in the several cities, and

farmers in the country, whose commanders are only the nobility and gentry,

without pay or reward. They are indeed perfect enough in their exercises, and under very good discipline, wherein I saw no great merit; for how should it be

otherwise, where every farmer is under the command of his own landlord, and

every citizen under that of the principal men in his own city, chosen, after the manner of Venice, by ballot? I have often seen the militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn

out to exercise in a great field near the city, of twenty miles square. They were in

all not above twenty-five thousand foot, and six thousand horse; but it was

impossible for me to compute their number, considering the space of ground

they took up. A cavalier mounted on a large steed might be about a hundred feet

high. I have seen this whole body of horse, upon a word of command, draw their

swords at once and brandish them in the air. Imagination can figure nothing so

grand, so surprising, and so astonishing! It looked as if ten thousand flashes of

lightning were darting at the same time from every quarter of the sky.

I was curious to know how this prince, to whose dominions there is no access

from any other country, came to think of armies, or to teach his people the practice of military discipline. But I was soon informed, both by conversation and reading their histories; for in the course of many ages they have been

troubled with the same disease to which so many other governments are subject:

the nobility often contending for power, the people for liberty, and the king for

absolute dominion. All which, however happily tempered by the laws of the

kingdom, have been sometimes violated by each of the three parties, and have once or more occasioned civil wars; the last whereof was happily put an end to

by this prince’s grandfather by a general composition; and the militia then settled

with common consent has been ever since kept in the strictest duty.

CHAPTER VIII

THE KING AND QUEEN MAKE A PROGRESS TO THE FRONTIERS—THE AUTHOR

ATTENDS THEM—THE MANNER IN WHICH HE LEAVES THE COUNTRY VERY

PARTICULARLY RELATED—HE RETURNS TO ENGLAND.

I had always a strong impulse that I should sometime recover my liberty,

though it was impossible to conjecture by what means, or to form any project with the least hope of succeeding. The ship in which I sailed was the first ever

known to be driven within sight of that coast, and the king had given strict orders

that if at any time another appeared, it should be taken ashore, and with all its crew and passengers brought in a tumbril to Lorbrulgrud. He was strongly bent

to get me a woman of my own size, by whom I might propagate the breed; but I

think I should rather have died than undergone the disgrace of leaving a posterity

to be kept in cages like tame canary birds, and perhaps in time sold about the kingdom to persons of quality, for curiosities. I was indeed treated with much kindness: I was the favorite of a great king and queen, and the delight of the whole court; but it was upon such a footing as ill became the dignity of human

kind. I could never forget those domestic pledges I had left behind me. I wanted

to be among people with whom I could converse upon even terms, and walk

about the streets and fields without fear of being trod to death like a frog or a young puppy. But my deliverance came sooner than I expected, and in a manner

not very common; the whole story and circumstances of which I shall faithfully

relate.

I had now been two years in this country; and about the beginning of the third,

Glumdalclitch and I attended the king and queen in a progress to the south coast

of the kingdom. I was carried as usual in my traveling box, which, as I have already described, was a very convenient closet of twelve feet wide. And I had

ordered a hammock to be fixed by silken ropes from the four corners at the top,

to break the jolts when a servant carried me before him on horseback, as I sometimes desired; and would often sleep in my hammock while we were upon

the road. On the roof of my closet, not directly over the middle of the hammock,

I ordered the joiner to cut out a hole of a foot square, to give me air in hot weather as I slept; which hole I shut at pleasure with a board that drew

backwards and forwards through a groove.

When we came to our journey’s end, the king thought proper to pass a few

days at a palace he has near Flanflasnic, a city within eighteen English miles of

the seaside. Glumdalclitch and I were much fatigued; I had gotten a small cold, but the poor girl was so ill as to be confined to her chamber. I longed to see the

ocean, which must be the only scene of my escape, if ever it should happen. I pretended to be worse than I really was, and desired leave to take the fresh air of

the sea, with a page whom I was very fond of, and who had sometimes been

trusted with me. I shall never forget with what unwillingness Glumdalclitch

consented, nor the strict charge she gave the page to be careful of me, bursting at

the same time into a flood of tears, as if she had some foreboding of what was to

happen. The boy took me out in my box, about half an hour’s walk from the palace, towards the rocks on the seashore. I ordered him to set me down, and lifting up one of my sashes, cast many a wistful melancholy look towards the sea. I found myself not very well, and told the page that I had a mind to take a

nap in my hammock, which I hoped would do me good. I got in, and the boy shut the window close down to keep out the cold. I soon fell asleep, and all I can

conjecture is that while I slept, the page, thinking no danger could happen, went

among the rocks to look for birds’ eggs, having before observed him from my window searching about, and picking up one or two in the clefts. Be that as it will, I found myself suddenly awakened with a violent pull upon the ring which

was fastened at the top of my box for the conveniency of carriage. I felt my box

raised very high in the air, and then borne forward with prodigious speed. The first jolt had like to have shaken me out of my hammock, but afterwards the motion was easy enough. I called out several times as loud as I could raise my

voice, but all to no purpose. I looked towards my windows, and could see

nothing but the clouds and sky. I heard a noise over my head like the clapping of

wings, and then began to perceive the woeful condition I was in; that some eagle

had got the ring of my box in his beak, with an intent to let it fall on a rock like a

tortoise in a shell, and then pick out my body and devour it: for the sagacity and

smell of this bird enable him to discover his quarry at a great distance, though better concealed than I could be within a two-inch board.

In a little time I observed the noise and flutter of wings to increase very fast,

and my box was tossed up and down like a signpost in a windy day. I heard several bangs or buffets, as I thought, given to the eagle (for such I am certain it

must have been that held the ring of my box in his beak), and then all on a sudden felt myself falling perpendicularly down for above a minute, but with

such incredible swiftness that I almost lost my breath. My fall was stopped by a

terrible squash, that sounded louder to my ears than the cataract of Niagara; after

which, I was quite in the dark for another minute, and then my box began to rise

so high that I could see light from the tops of my windows. I now perceived I

was fallen into the sea. My box, by the weight of my body, the goods that were in it, and the broad plates of iron fixed for strength at the four corners of the top

and bottom, floated about five feet deep in water. I did then and do now suppose

that the eagle which flew away with my box was pursued by two or three others,

and forced to let me drop while he was defending himself against the rest, who

hoped to share in the prey. The plates of iron fastened at the bottom of the box

(for those were the strongest) preserved the balance while it fell, and hindered it

from being broken on the surface of the water. Every joint of it was well

grooved; and the door did not move on hinges, but up and down like a sash, which kept my closet so tight that very little water came in. I got with much difficulty out of my hammock, having first ventured to draw back the slip-board

on the roof already mentioned, contrived on purpose to let in air, for want of which I found myself almost stifled.

How often did I then wish myself with my dear Glumdalclitch, from whom

one single hour had so far divided me! And I may say with truth, that in the midst of my own misfortunes I could not forbear lamenting my poor nurse, the

grief she would suffer for my loss, the displeasure of the queen, and the ruin of

her fortune. Perhaps many travelers have not been under greater difficulties and

distress than I was at this juncture, expecting every moment to see my box

dashed in pieces, or at least overset by the first violent blast, or a rising wave. A

breach in one single pane of glass would have been immediate death; nor could

anything have preserved the windows but the strong lattice wires placed on the

outside against accidents in traveling. I saw the water ooze in at several crannies,

although the leaks were not considerable, and I endeavored to stop them as well

as I could. I was not able to lift up the roof of my closet, which otherwise I certainly should have done, and sat on the top of it, where I might at least preserve myself some hours longer than by being shut up, as I may call it, in the

hold. Or if I escaped these dangers for a day or two, what could I expect but a

miserable death of cold and hunger? I was four hours under these circumstances,

expecting and indeed wishing every moment to be my last.

I have already told the reader that there were two strong staples fixed upon that side of my box which had no window, and into which the servant who used

to carry me on horseback would put a leathern belt, and buckle it about his waist.

Being in this disconsolate state, I heard, or at least thought I heard, some kind of

grating noise on that side of my box where the staples were fixed, and soon after

I began to fancy that the box was pulled or towed along in the sea; for I now and

then felt a sort of tugging which made the waves rise near the tops of my windows, leaving me almost in the dark. This gave me some faint hopes of

relief, although I was not able to imagine how it could be brought about. I ventured to unscrew one of my chairs, which were always fastened to the floor;

and having made a hard shift to screw it down again directly under the slipping-

board that I had lately opened, I mounted on the chair, and putting my mouth as

near as I could to the hole, I called for help in a loud voice, and in all the languages I understood. I then fastened my handkerchief to a stick I usually carried, and thrusting it up the hole, waved it several times in the air, that if any

boat or ship were near, the seamen might conjecture some unhappy mortal to be

shut up in this box.

“I heard a noise over my head like the clapping of wings”

Page 157

I found no effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived my closet to be moved along; and in the space of an hour, or better, that side of the box where

the staples were, and had no window, struck against something that was hard. I

apprehended it to be a rock, and found myself tossed more than ever. I plainly heard a noise upon the cover of my closet, like that of a cable, and the grating of

it as it passed through the ring. I then found myself hoisted up, by degrees, at least three feet higher than I was before. Whereupon I again thrust up my stick

and handkerchief, calling for help till I was almost hoarse. In return to which, I

heard a great shout repeated three times, giving me such transports of joy as are

not to be conceived but by those who feel them. I now heard a trampling over my head, and somebody calling through the hole with a loud voice, in the

English tongue, “If there be anybody below let him speak.” I answered, I was an

Englishman, drawn by ill fortune into the greatest calamity that ever any creature

underwent, and begged, by all that is moving, to be delivered out of the dungeon

I was in. The voice replied, I was safe, for my box was fastened to their ship; and

the carpenter should immediately come and saw a hole in the cover, large

enough to pull me out. I answered, that was needless, and would take up too much time; for there was no more to be done but let one of the crew put his finger into the ring, and take the box out of the sea into the ship, and so into the

captain’s cabin. Some of them, upon hearing me talk so wildly, thought I was mad; others laughed; for indeed it never came into my head that I was now

among people of my own stature and strength. The carpenter came, and in a few

minutes sawed a passage about four feet square, then let down a small ladder, upon which I mounted, and from thence was taken into the ship in a very weak

condition.

The sailors were all in amazement, and asked me a thousand questions, which

I had no inclination to answer. I was equally confounded at the sight of so many

pigmies, for such I took them to be, after having so long accustomed my eyes to

the monstrous objects I had left. But the captain, Mr. Thomas Wilcocks, an

honest worthy Shropshire man, observing I was ready to faint, took me into his

cabin, gave me a cordial to comfort me, and made me turn in upon his own bed,

advising me to take a little rest, of which I had great need. Before I went to sleep, I gave him to understand that I had some valuable furniture in my box, too

good to be lost: a fine hammock, a handsome field bed, two chairs, a table, and a

cabinet; that my closet was hung on all sides, or rather quilted, with silk and cotton; that if he would let one of the crew bring my closet into his cabin, I would open it there before him, and show him my goods. The captain, hearing

me utter these absurdities, concluded I was raving; however (I suppose to pacify

me), he promised to give order as I desired, and going upon deck, sent some of

his men down into my closet, from whence (as I afterwards found), they drew up

all my goods, and stripped off the quilting; but the chairs, cabinet, and bedstead,

being screwed to the floor, were much damaged by the ignorance of the seamen,

who tore them up by force. They then knocked off some of the boards for the use

of the ship, and when they had got all they had a mind for, let the hulk drop into the sea, which, by reason of many breaches made in the bottom and sides, sunk

to rights. And, indeed, I was glad not to have been a spectator of the havoc they

made; because I am confident it would have sensibly touched me, by bringing

former passages into my mind which I had rather forget.

I slept some hours, but perpetually disturbed with dreams of the place I had left, and the dangers I had escaped. However, upon waking I found myself much

recovered. It was now about eight o’clock at night, and the captain ordered

supper immediately, thinking I had already fasted too long. He entertained me with great kindness, observing me not to look wildly, or talk inconsistently; and

when we were left alone, desired I would relate to him my travels, and by what

accident I came to be set adrift in that monstrous wooden chest. He said that about twelve o’clock at noon, as he was looking through his glass, he spied it at

a distance, and thought it was a sail, which he had a mind to make, being not much out of his course, in hopes of buying some biscuit, his own beginning to

fall short. That upon coming nearer, and finding his error, he sent out his longboat, to discover what I was; that his men came back in a fright, swearing

they had seen a swimming house. That he laughed at their folly, and went

himself in the boat, ordering his men to take a strong cable along with them.

That the weather being calm, he rowed round me several times, observed my

windows and the wire lattices that defended them. That he discovered two

staples upon one side, which was all of boards, without any passage for light. He

then commanded his men to row up to that side, and fastening a cable to one of

the staples, ordered them to tow my chest, as he called it, towards the ship.

When it was there, he gave directions to fasten another cable to the ring fixed in

the cover, and to raise my chest with pulleys, which all the sailors were not able

to do above two or three feet. He said they saw my stick and handkerchief thrust

out of the hole, and concluded that some unhappy man must be shut up in the cavity. I asked whether he or the crew had seen any prodigious birds in the air,

about the time he first discovered me. To which he answered, that discussing this

matter with the sailors while I was asleep, one of them said he had observed three eagles flying towards the north, but remarked nothing of their being larger

than the usual size, which I suppose must be imputed to the great height they were at; and could not guess the reason of my question. I then asked the captain

how far he reckoned we might be from land. He said, by the best computation he

could make, we were at least a hundred leagues. I assured him that he must be

mistaken by almost half, for I had not left the country whence I came above two

hours before I dropped into the sea. Whereupon he began again to think my

brain was disturbed, of which he gave me a hint, and advised me to go to bed in a cabin he had provided. I assured him I was well refreshed with his good

entertainment and company, and as much in my senses as ever I was in my life.

He then grew serious, and desired to ask me freely whether I were not troubled

in mind by the consciousness of some enormous crime, for which I was punished

at the command of some prince, by exposing me in that chest; as great criminals

in other countries have been forced to sea in a leaky vessel, without provisions;

for although he should be sorry to have taken so ill a man into his ship, yet he

would engage his word to set me safe on shore, in the first port where we arrived. He added, that his suspicions were much increased by some very absurd

speeches I had delivered at first to the sailors, and afterwards to himself, in relation to my closet or chest, as well as by my odd looks and behavior while I

was at supper.

I begged his patience to hear me tell my story, which I faithfully did, from the

last time I left England to the moment he first discovered me. And as truth always forces its way into rational minds, so this honest worthy gentleman, who

had some tincture of learning, and very good sense, was immediately convinced

of my candor and veracity. But, further to confirm all I had said, I entreated him

to give order that my cabinet be brought, of which I had the key in my pocket;

for he had already informed me how the seamen disposed of my closet. I opened

it in his presence, and showed him the small collection of rarities I made in the

country from whence I had been so strangely delivered. There was the comb I had contrived out of the stumps of the king’s beard, and another of the same material, but fixed into a paring of her majesty’s thumb nail, which served for the back. There was a collection of needles and pins, from a foot to half a yard

long; four wasp stings like joiners’ tacks; some combings of the queen’s hair; a

gold ring which one day she made me a present of in a most obliging manner, taking it from her little finger and throwing it over my head like a collar. I desired the captain would please to accept this ring in return of his civilities; which he absolutely refused. Lastly, I desired him to see the breeches I had then

on, which were made of a mouse’s skin.

I could force nothing on him but a footman’s tooth, which I observed him to

examine with great curiosity, and found he had a fancy for it. He received it with

abundance of thanks, more than such a trifle could deserve. It was drawn by an

unskillful surgeon, in a mistake, from one of Glumdalclitch’s men, who was

afflicted with the toothache, but it was as sound as any in his head. I got it cleaned, and put it into my cabinet. It was about a foot long, and four inches in

diameter.

The captain was very well satisfied with this plain relation I had given him, and said he hoped, when we returned to England, I would oblige the world by putting it on paper, and making it public. My answer was, that I thought we were

already overstocked with books of travel; that nothing could now pass which

was not extraordinary; wherein I doubted some authors less consulted truth than

their own vanity or interest, or the diversion of ignorant readers; that my story could contain little besides common events, without those ornamental

descriptions of strange plants, trees, birds, and other animals, or of the barbarous

customs and idolatry of savage people, with which most writers abound.

However, I thanked him for his good opinion, and promised to take the matter into my thoughts.

He said he wondered at one thing very much, which was to hear me speak so

loud; asking me whether the king and queen of that country were thick of

hearing. I told him it was what I had been used to for above two years past, and

that I admired as much at the voices of him and his men, who seemed to me only

to whisper, and yet I could hear them well enough. But when I spoke in that country, it was like a man talking in the street to another looking out from the top

of a steeple, unless when I was placed on a table, or held in any person’s hand. I

told him, I had likewise observed another thing, that when I first got into the ship, and the sailors stood all about me, I thought they were the most

contemptible little creatures I had ever beheld. For, indeed, while I was in that prince’s country, I could never endure to look in a glass after my eyes had been

accustomed to such prodigious objects, because the comparison gave me so

despicable a conceit of myself. The captain said that while we were at supper he

observed me to look at everything with a sort of wonder, and that I often seemed

hardly able to contain my laughter, which he knew not well how to take, but imputed it to some disorder in my brain. I answered, it was very true; and I wondered how I could forbear, when I saw his dishes of the size of a silver threepence, a leg of pork hardly a mouthful, a cup not so big as a nutshell; and so

I went on, describing the rest of his household stuff and provisions after the same

manner. For, although the queen had ordered a little equipage of all things

necessary for me, while I was in her service, yet my ideas were wholly taken up

with what I saw on every side of me, and I winked at my own littleness as people

do at their own faults. The captain understood my raillery very well, and merrily

replied with the old English proverb, that he doubted my eyes were bigger than

my belly, for he did not observe my stomach so good, although I had fasted all

day; and continuing in his mirth, protested he would have gladly given a hundred

pounds to have seen my closet in the eagle’s bill, and afterwards in its fall from

so great a height into the sea; which would certainly have been a most astonishing object, worthy to have the description of it transmitted to future ages; and the comparison of Phaëthon was so obvious that he could not forbear

applying it, although I did not much admire the conceit.

The captain, having been at Tonquin, was in his return to England driven

northeastward to the latitude of 44 degrees, and of longitude 143. But meeting a

trade-wind two days after I came on board him, we sailed southward a long time,

and coasting New Holland, kept our course west-south-west, and then south-

south-west, till we doubled the Cape of Good Hope. Our voyage was very

prosperous, but I shall not trouble the reader with a journal of it. The captain called in at one or two ports, and sent in his longboat for provisions and fresh water; but I never went out of the ship till we came into the Downs, which was

on the third day of June, 1706, about nine months after my escape. I offered to

leave my goods in security for payment of my freight, but the captain protested

he would not receive one farthing. We took kind leave of each other, and I made

him promise he would come to see me at my house in Redriff. I hired a horse and guide for five shillings, which I borrowed of the captain.

As I was on the road, observing the littleness of the houses, the trees, the cattle, and the people, I began to think myself in Lilliput. I was afraid of trampling on every traveler I met, and often called aloud to have them stand out

of the way, so that I had like to have gotten one or two broken heads for my impertinence.

When I came to my own house, for which I was forced to inquire, one of the

servants opening the door, I bent down to go in (like a goose under a gate), for

fear of striking my head. My wife ran out to embrace me, but I stooped lower than her knees, thinking she could otherwise never be able to reach my mouth.

My daughter kneeled to ask my blessing, but I could not see her till she arose,

having been so long used to stand with my head and eyes erect to above sixty feet, and then I went to take her up with one hand by the waist. I looked down

upon the servants, and one or two friends who were in the house, as if they had

been pigmies, and I a giant. I told my wife she had been too thrifty, for I found

she had starved herself and her daughter to nothing. In short, I behaved myself

so unaccountably that they were all of the captain’s opinion when he first saw me, and concluded I had lost my wits. This I mention as an instance of the great

power of habit and prejudice.

In a little time, I and my family and friends came to a right understanding, but

my wife protested I should never go to sea any more; although my evil destiny

so ordered that she had not power to hinder me, as the reader may know hereafter. In the meantime, I here conclude the second part of my unfortunate voyages.

THE END OF THE SECOND PART.

A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI,

LUGGNAGG, GLUBBDUBDRIB, AND JAPAN

CHAPTER I

THE AUTHOR SETS OUT ON HIS THIRD VOYAGE—IS TAKEN BY PIRATES—THE MALICE

OF A DUTCHMAN—HIS ARRIVAL AT AN ISLAND—HE IS RECEIVED INTO LAPUTA.

I had not been at home above ten days, when Captain William Robinson, a

Cornishman, commander of the Hopewell, a stout ship of three hundred tons,

came to my house. I had formerly been surgeon of another ship where he was master and a fourth-part owner, in a voyage to the Levant. He had always treated

me more like a brother than an inferior officer; and hearing of my arrival, made

me a visit, as I apprehended only out of friendship, for nothing passed more than

what is usual after long absences. But repeating his visits often, expressing his joy to find me in good health, asking whether I were now settled for life, adding

that he intended a voyage to the East Indies in about two months; at last he plainly invited me, though with some apologies, to be surgeon of the ship; that I

should have another surgeon under me, besides our two mates; that my salary

should be double to the usual pay; and that having experienced my knowledge in

sea affairs to be at least equal to his, he would enter into any engagement to follow my advice, as much as if I had shared in the command.

He said so many other obliging things, and I knew him to be so honest a man,

that I could not reject his proposal; the thirst I had of seeing the world, notwithstanding my past misfortunes, continuing as violent as ever. The only

difficulty that remained, was to persuade my wife, whose consent, however, I at

last obtained by the prospect of advantage she proposed to her children.

We set out on the 5th of August, 1706, and arrived at Fort St. George the 11th

of April, 1707, stayed there three weeks to refresh our crew, many of whom were

sick. From thence we went to Tonquin, where the captain resolved to continue some time, because many of the goods he intended to buy were not ready, nor could he expect to be dispatched in some months. Therefore, in hopes to defray

some of the charges he must be at, he bought a sloop, loaded it with several sorts

of goods wherewith the Tonquinese usually trade to the neighboring islands, and

putting fourteen men on board, whereof three were of the country, he appointed

me master of the sloop, and gave me power to traffic for two months while he

transacted his affairs at Tonquin.

We had not sailed above three days, when a great storm arising, we were

driven five days to the north-north-east, and then to the east; after which we had

fair weather, but still with a pretty strong gale from the west. Upon the tenth day we were chased by two pirates, who soon overtook us; for my sloop was so deep

laden, that she sailed very slow, neither were we in a condition to defend

ourselves. We were boarded about the same time by both the pirates, who

entered furiously at the head of their men; but finding us all prostrate upon our

faces (for so I gave order), they pinioned us with strong ropes, and setting a guard upon us, went to search the sloop.

I observed among them a Dutchman, who seemed to be of some authority,

though he was not commander of either ship. He knew us by our countenances

to be Englishmen, and jabbering to us in his own language, swore we should be

tied back to back and thrown into the sea. I spoke Dutch tolerably well; I told him who we were, and begged him, in consideration of our being Christians and

Protestants, of neighboring countries in strict alliance, that he would move the captains to take some pity on us. This inflamed his rage; he repeated his

threatenings, and turning to his companions, spoke with great vehemence in the

Japanese language, as I suppose, often using the word Christianos.

The largest of the two pirate ships was commanded by a Japanese captain who

spoke a little Dutch, but very imperfectly. He came up to me, and after several

questions, which I answered in great humility, he said we should not die. I made

the captain a very low bow, and then turning to the Dutchman, said I was sorry

to find more mercy in a heathen than in a brother Christian. But I had soon reason to repent those foolish words; for that malicious reprobate, having often

endeavored in vain to persuade both the captains that I might be thrown into the

sea (which they would not yield to, after the promise made me that I should not

die), however prevailed so far as to have a punishment inflicted on me, worse in

all human appearance than death itself. My men were sent by an equal division

into both the pirate ships, and my sloop new manned. As to myself, it was

determined that I should be set adrift in a small canoe, with paddles and a sail,

and four days’ provisions; which last the Japanese captain was so kind to double

out of his own stores, and would permit no man to search me. I got down into

the canoe, while the Dutchman, standing upon the deck, loaded me with all the

curses and injurious terms his language could afford.

About an hour before we saw the pirates, I had taken an observation, and

found we were in the latitude of 46 N. and of longitude 183. When I was at some

distance from the pirates, I discovered by my pocket glass several islands to the

southeast. I set up my sail, the wind being fair, with a design to reach the nearest

of those islands, which I made a shift to do in about three hours. It was all rocky;

however, I got many birds’ eggs; and striking fire, I kindled some heath and dry seaweed, by which I roasted my eggs. I ate no other supper, being resolved to spare my provisions as much as I could. I passed the night under the shelter of a

rock, strewing some heath under me, and slept pretty well.

The next day I sailed to another island, and thence to a third and fourth, sometimes using my sail, and sometimes my paddles. But not to trouble the

reader with a particular account of my distresses, let it suffice that on the fifth day I arrived at the last island in my sight, which lay south-south-east to the former.

This island was at a greater distance than I expected, and I did not reach it in

less than five hours. I encompassed it almost round before I could find a

convenient place to land in; which was a small creek, about three times the wideness of my canoe. I found the island to be all rocky, only a little

intermingled with tufts of grass, and sweet-smelling herbs. I took out my small

provisions, and after having refreshed myself, I secured the remainder in a cave,

whereof there were great numbers; I gathered plenty of eggs upon the rocks, and

got a quantity of dry seaweed and parched grass, which I designed to kindle the

next day, and roast my eggs as well as I could, for I had about me my flint, steel,

match, and burning-glass. I lay all night in the cave where I had lodged my provisions. My bed was the same dry grass and seaweed which I intended for

fuel. I slept very little, for the disquiets of my mind prevailed over my weariness,

and kept me awake. I considered how impossible it was to preserve my life in so

desolate a place, and how miserable my end must be: yet I found myself so

listless and desponding, that I had not the heart to rise; and before I could get spirits enough to creep out of my cave, the day was far advanced. I walked awhile among the rocks; the sky was perfectly clear, and the sun so hot, that I was forced to turn my face from it; when all on a sudden it became obscured, as

I thought, in a manner very different from what happens by the interposition of a

cloud. I turned back, and perceived a vast opaque body between me and the sun,

moving forwards towards the island; it seemed to be about two miles high, and

hid the sun six or seven minutes; but I did not observe the air to be much colder,

or the sky more darkened, than if I had stood under the shade of a mountain. As

it approached nearer over the place where I was, it appeared to me a firm

substance, the bottom flat, smooth, and shining very bright from the reflection of

the sea below. I stood upon a height about two hundred yards from the shore, and saw this vast body descending almost to a parallel with me, at less than an

English mile distance. I took out my pocket perspective, and could plainly

discover numbers of people moving up and down the sides of it, which appeared

to be sloping; but what those people were doing I was not able to distinguish.

The natural love of life gave me some inward motions of joy, and I was ready

to entertain a hope that this adventure might, someway or other, help to deliver

me from the desolate place and condition I was in. But at the same time, the reader can hardly conceive my astonishment, to behold an island in the air,

inhabited by men, who were able (as it should seem) to raise or sink, or put it into a progressive motion, as they pleased. But not being at that time in a disposition to philosophize upon this phenomenon, I rather chose to observe

what course the island would take, because it seemed for awhile to stand still.

Yet soon after, it advanced nearer, and I could see the sides of it encompassed with several gradations of galleries, and stairs at certain intervals to descend from one to the other. In the lowest gallery, I beheld some people fishing with long angling rods, and others looking on. I waved my cap (for my hat was long

since worn out) and my handkerchief towards the island; and upon its nearer

approach, I called and shouted with the utmost strength of my voice; and then looking circumspectly, I beheld a crowd gathered to that side which was most in

my view. I found by their pointing towards me and to each other, that they plainly discovered me, although they made no return to my shouting. But I could

see four or five men running in great haste up the stairs to the top of the island,

who then disappeared. I happened rightly to conjecture that these were sent for

orders to some person in authority upon this occasion.

The number of people increased, and in less than half an hour the island was

moved, and raised in such a manner that the lowest gallery appeared in a parallel

of less than a hundred yards’ distance from the height where I stood. I then put

myself in the most supplicating postures, and spoke in the humblest accent, but

received no answer. Those who stood nearest over against me, seemed to be

persons of distinction, as I supposed by their habit. They conferred earnestly with each other, looking often upon me. At length, one of them called out in a

clear, polite, smooth dialect, not unlike in sound to the Italian; and therefore I returned an answer in that language, hoping at least that the cadence might be more agreeable to his ears. Although neither of us understood the other, yet my

meaning was easily known, for the people saw the distress I was in.

They made signs for me to come down from the rock, and go towards the

shore, which I accordingly did; and the flying island being raised to a convenient

height, the verge directly over me, a chain was let down from the lowest gallery,

with a seat fastened to the bottom, to which I fixed myself, and was drawn up by

pulleys.

CHAPTER II

THE HUMORS AND DISPOSITIONS OF THE LAPUTIANS DESCRIBED—AN ACCOUNT OF

THEIR LEARNING—OF THE KING AND HIS COURT—THE AUTHOR’S RECEPTION

THERE—THE INHABITANTS SUBJECT TO FEARS AND DISQUIETUDES—AN

ACCOUNT OF THE WOMEN.

At my alighting, I was surrounded with a crowd of people, but those who

stood nearest seemed to be of better quality. They beheld me with all the marks

and circumstances of wonder, neither indeed was I much in their debt, having never till then seen a race of mortals so singular in their shapes, habits, and countenances. Their heads were all reclined either to the right or the left; one of

their eyes turned inward, and the other directly up to the zenith. Their outward

garments were adorned with the figures of suns, moons, and stars, interwoven

with those of fiddles, flutes, harps, trumpets, guitars, harpsichords, and many more instruments of music unknown to us in Europe. I observed, here and there,

many in the habit of servants, with a blown bladder fastened like a flail to the end of a short stick, which they carried in their hands. In each bladder was a small quantity of dried peas, or little pebbles (as I was afterwards informed).

With these bladders they now and then flapped the mouths and ears of those who

stood near them, of which practice I could not then conceive the meaning. It seems the minds of these people are so taken up with intense speculations, that

they neither can speak, nor attend to the discourses of others without being roused by some external taction upon the organs of speech and hearing; for

which reason, those persons who are able to afford it always keep a flapper (the

original is climenole) in their family, as one of their domestics; nor ever walk abroad or make visits without him. And the business of this officer is, when two

or three more persons are in company, gently to strike with his bladder the mouth

of him who is to speak, and the right ear of him or them to whom the speaker addresses himself. This flapper is likewise employed diligently to attend his

master in his walks, and upon occasion to give him a soft flap on his eyes; because he is always so wrapped up in cogitation, that he is in manifest danger

of falling down every precipice, and bouncing his head against every post; and in

the streets, of jostling others or being jostled himself into the kennel.

It was necessary to give the reader this information, without which he would

be at the same loss with me to understand the proceedings of these people, as they conducted me up the stairs to the top of the island, and thence to the royal

palace. While we were ascending they forgot several times what they were

about, and left me to myself, till their memories were again roused by their flappers: for they appeared altogether unmoved by the sight of my foreign habit

and countenance, and by the shouts of the vulgar, whose thoughts and minds

were more disengaged.

At last we entered the palace, and proceeded into the chamber of presence,

where I saw the king seated on his throne, attended on each side by persons of

prime quality. Before the throne was a large table filled with globes and spheres,

and mathematical instruments of all kinds. His majesty took not the least notice

of us, although our entrance was not without sufficient noise, by the concourse

of all persons belonging to the court. But he was then deep in a problem; and we

attended at least an hour, before he could solve it. There stood by him on each

side a young page, with flaps in their hands, and when they saw he was at leisure, one of them gently struck his mouth, and the other his right ear; at which

he started like one awaked on the sudden, and looking towards me and the

company I was in, recollected the occasion of our coming, whereof he had been

informed before. He spoke some words, whereupon immediately a young man

with a flap came up to my side, and flapped me gently on the right ear; but I made signs, as well as I could, that I had no occasion for such an instrument; which, as I afterwards found, gave his majesty and the whole court a very mean

opinion of my understanding. The king, as far as I could conjecture, asked me several questions, and I addressed myself to him in all the languages I had.

When it was found that I could neither understand nor be understood, I was

conducted by the king’s order to an apartment in his palace (this prince being distinguished above all his predecessors for his hospitality to strangers), where two servants were appointed to attend me. My dinner was brought, and four

persons of quality, whom I remembered to have seen very near the king’s person,

did me the honor to dine with me. We had two courses of three dishes each. In

the first course, there was a shoulder of mutton cut into an equilateral triangle, a

piece of beef into a rhomboid, and a pudding into a cycloid. The second course

was two ducks trussed up in the form of fiddles; sausages and puddings

resembling flutes and hautboys, and a breast of veal in the shape of a harp. The

servants cut our bread into cones, cylinders, parallelograms, and several other mathematical figures.

While we were at dinner, I made bold to ask the names of several things in their language, and those noble persons, by the assistance of their flappers, delighted to give me answers, hoping to raise my admiration of their great

abilities, if I could be brought to converse with them. I was soon able to call for

bread and drink, or whatever else I wanted.

After dinner my company withdrew, and a person was sent to me by the king’s order, attended by a flapper. He brought with him pen, ink, and paper, and three

or four books, giving me to understand by signs that he was sent to teach me the

language. We sat together four hours, in which time I wrote down a great

number of words in columns, with the translations over against them; I likewise

made a shift to learn several short sentences, for my tutor would order one of my

servants to fetch something, to turn about, to make a bow, to sit, or stand, or walk, and the like. Then I took down the sentence in writing. He showed me also, in one of his books, the figures of the sun, moon, and stars, the zodiac, the

tropics, and polar circles, together with the denominations of many planes and solids. He gave me the names and descriptions of all the musical instruments, and the general terms of art in playing on each of them. After he had left me, I

placed all my words, with their interpretations, in alphabetical order. And thus,

in a few days, by the help of a very faithful memory, I got some insight into their

language.

The word which I interpret the Flying or Floating Island, is in the original Laputa, whereof I could never learn the true etymology. Lap, in the old obsolete language, signifies high; and untuh, a governor; from which they say, by corruption, was derived Laputa from Lapuntah. But I do not approve of this derivation, which seems to be a little strained. I ventured to offer to the learned

among them a conjecture of my own, that Laputa was quasi lap outed; lap, signifying properly the dancing of the sunbeams in the sea, and outed, a wing; which, however, I shall not obtrude, but submit to the judicious reader.

Those to whom the king had intrusted me, observing how ill I was clad,

ordered a tailor to come next morning, and take my measure for a suit of clothes.

This operator did his office after a different manner from those of his trade in Europe. He first took my altitude by a quadrant, and then, with rule and

compasses, described the dimensions and outlines of my whole body, all which

he entered upon paper; and in six days brought my clothes very ill made, and quite out of shape, by happening to mistake a figure in the calculation. But my

comfort was, that I observed such accidents very frequent, and little regarded.

During my confinement for want of clothes, and by an indisposition that held

me some days longer, I much enlarged my dictionary; and when I went next to

court, was able to understand many things the king spoke, and to return him some kind of answers. His majesty had given orders that the island should move

northeast-and-by-east to the vertical point over Lagado, the metropolis of the whole kingdom below, upon the firm earth. It was about ninety leagues distant,

and our voyage lasted four days and a half. I was not in the least sensible of the progressive motion made in the air by the island. On the second morning, about

eleven o’clock, the king himself in person, attended by his nobility, courtiers, and officers, having prepared all their musical instruments, played on them for three hours without intermission, so that I was quite stunned with the noise; neither could I possibly guess the meaning till my tutor informed me. He said that the people of their island had their ears adapted to hear the music of the spheres, which always played at certain periods, and the court was now prepared

to bear their part, in whatever instrument they most excelled.

In our journey towards Lagado, the capital city, his majesty ordered that the island should stop over certain towns and villages, whence he might receive the

petitions of his subjects. And to this purpose several packthreads were let down,

with small weights at the bottom. On these packthreads the people strung their petitions, which mounted up directly, like the scraps of paper fastened by

schoolboys at the end of the string that holds their kite. Sometimes we received

wine and victuals from below, which were drawn up by pulleys.

The knowledge I had in mathematics gave me great assistance in acquiring

their phraseology, which depended much upon that science and music; and in the

latter I was not unskilled. Their ideas are perpetually conversant in lines and figures. If they would, for example, praise the beauty of a woman or any other

animal, they describe it by rhombs, circles, parallelograms, ellipses, and other geometrical terms, or by words of art drawn from music, needless here to repeat.

I observed in the king’s kitchen all sorts of mathematical and musical

instruments, after the figures of which they cut up the joints that were served to

his majesty’s table.

Their houses are very ill-built, the walls bevel, without one right angle in any

apartment; and this defect arises from the contempt they bear to practical

geometry, which they despise as vulgar and mechanic; those instructions they

give being too refined for the intellects of their workmen, which occasions

perpetual mistakes. And although they are dexterous enough upon a piece of

paper, in the management of the rule, the pencil, and the divider, yet in the common actions and behavior of life, I have not seen a more clumsy, awkward,

and unhandy people, nor so slow and perplexed in their conceptions upon all

other subjects, except those of mathematics and music. They are very bad

reasoners, and vehemently given to opposition, unless when they happen to be of

the right opinion, which is seldom their case. Imagination, fancy, and invention

they are wholly strangers to, nor have any words in their language by which

those ideas can be expressed; the whole compass of their thoughts and mind being shut up within the two forementioned sciences.

Most of them, and especially those who deal in the astronomical part, have

great faith in judicial astrology, although they are ashamed to own it publicly.

But what I chiefly admired, and thought altogether unaccountable, was the

strong disposition I observed in them towards news and politics, perpetually

inquiring into public affairs, giving their judgments in matters of state, and passionately disputing every inch of a party opinion. I have indeed observed the

same disposition among most of the mathematicians I have known in Europe,

although I could never discover the least analogy between the two sciences;

unless those people suppose, that because the smallest circle has as many

degrees as the largest, therefore the regulation and management of the world

require no more abilities than the handling and turning of a globe; but I rather take this quality to spring from a very common infirmity of human nature,

inclining us to be more curious and conceited in matters where we have least concern, and for which we are at least adapted either by study or nature.

“At last we entered the palace”

Page 177

These people are under continual disquietudes, never enjoying a minute’s

peace of mind; and their disturbances proceed from causes which very little

affect the rest of mortals. Their apprehensions arise from several changes they dread in the celestial bodies: for instance, that the earth, by the continual approaches of the sun towards it, must in course of time be absorbed or

swallowed up; that the face of the sun will by degrees be incrusted with its own effluvia, and give no more light to the world; that the earth very narrowly escaped a brush from the tail of the last comet, which would have infallibly reduced it to ashes; and that the next, which they have calculated for one-and-thirty years hence, will probably destroy us. For if, in its perihelion, it should approach within a certain degree of the sun (as by their calculations they have reason to dread), it will conceive a degree of heat ten thousand times more intense than that of red-hot glowing iron; and, in its absence from the sun, carry

a blazing tail ten hundred thousand and fourteen miles long, through which if the

earth should pass at the distance of one hundred thousand miles from the nucleus

or main body of the comet, it must in its passage be set on fire, and reduced to

ashes; that the sun, daily spending its rays without any nutriment to supply them,

will at last be wholly consumed and annihilated; which must be attended with the destruction of this earth, and of all the planets that receive their light from it.

They are so perpetually alarmed with the apprehensions of these and the like

impending dangers, that they can neither sleep quietly in their beds, nor have any

relish for the common pleasures or amusements of life. When they meet an

acquaintance in the morning, the first question is about the sun’s health; how he

looked at his setting and rising, and what hopes they have to avoid the stroke of

the approaching comet. This conversation they are apt to run into with the same

temper that boys discover in delighting to hear terrible stories of sprites and hobgoblins, which they greedily listen to, and dare not go to bed for fear.

The women of the island have abundance of vivacity; they contemn their

husbands, and are exceedingly fond of strangers, whereof there is always a

considerable number from the continent below, attending at court, either upon

affairs of the several towns and corporations, or their own particular occasions,

but are much despised, because they want the same endowments. Among these

the ladies choose their gallants. But the vexation is, that they act with too much

ease and security; for the husband is always so wrapped in speculation, that the

mistress and lover may proceed to the greatest familiarities before his face, if he

be but provided with paper and implements, and without his flapper at his side.

The wives and daughters lament their confinement to the island, although I

think it the most delicious spot of ground in the world: and although they live here in the greatest plenty and magnificence, and are allowed to do whatever they please, they long to see the world, and take the diversions of the metropolis;

which they are not allowed to do without a particular license from the king; and

this is not easy to be obtained, because the people of quality have found, by

frequent experience, how hard it is to persuade their women to return from below. I was told that a great court lady, who had several children, is married to

the prime minister (the richest subject in the kingdom, a very graceful person, extremely fond of her) and lives in the finest palace in the island, went down to

Lagado, on the pretense of health, there hid herself for several months, till the king sent a warrant to search for her, and she was found in an obscure eating house all in rags, having pawned her clothes to maintain an old deformed

footman, who beat her every day, and in whose company she was taken, much

against her will. And although her husband received her with all possible

kindness, and without the least reproach, she soon after contrived to steal down

again with all her jewels, to the same gallant, and has not been heard of since.

This may perhaps pass with the reader rather for a European or English story,

than for one of a country so remote. But he may please to consider, that the caprices of womankind are not limited by any climate or nation, and that they are much more uniform than can be easily imagined.

In about a month’s time I had made a tolerable proficiency in their language,

and was able to answer most of the king’s questions, when I had the honor to attend him. His majesty discovered not the least curiosity to inquire into the laws, government, history, religion, or manners of the countries where I had

been; but confined his questions to the state of mathematics, and received the account I gave him with great contempt and indifference, though often roused by

his flapper on each side.

CHAPTER III

A PHENOMENON SOLVED BY MODERN PHILOSOPHY AND ASTRONOMY—THE

LAPUTIANS’ GREAT IMPROVEMENTS IN THE LATTER—THE KING’S METHOD OF

SUPPRESSING INSURRECTIONS.

I desired leave of this prince to see the curiosities of the island, which he was

graciously pleased to grant, and ordered my tutor to attend me. I chiefly wanted

to know to what cause in art or in nature it owed its several motions, whereof I

will now give a philosophical account to the reader.

The flying or floating island is exactly circular, its diameter 7837 yards, or about four miles and a half, and consequently contains ten thousand acres. It is

three hundred yards thick. The bottom or under surface, which appears to those

who view it from below, is one even regular plate of adamant, shooting up to the

height of about two hundred yards. Above it lie the several minerals in their usual order, and over all is a coat of rich mold, ten or twelve feet deep. This declivity of the upper surface, from the circumference to the center, is the natural

cause why all the dews and rains which fall upon the island are conveyed in small rivulets towards the middle, where they are emptied into four large basins,

each of about half a mile in circuit, and two hundred yards distant from the center. From these basins the water is continually exhaled by the sun in the daytime, which effectually prevents their overflowing. Besides, as it is in the power of the monarch to raise the island above the region of clouds and vapors,

he can prevent the falling of dews and rains whenever he pleases. For the highest

clouds cannot rise above two miles, as naturalists agree; at least they were never

known to do so in that country.

At the center of the island there is a chasm about fifty yards in diameter, whence the astronomers descend into a large dome, which is therefore called

flandona gagnole, or the Astronomer’s Cave, situated at the depth of a hundred

yards beneath the upper surface of the adamant. In this cave are twenty lamps continually burning, which from the reflection of the adamant cast a strong light

into every part. The place is stored with great variety of sextants, quadrants, telescopes, astrolabes, and other astronomical instruments. But the greatest

curiosity, upon which the fate of the island depends, is a loadstone of a

prodigious size, in shape resembling a weaver’s shuttle. It is in length six yards,

and in the thickest part at least three yards over. This magnet is sustained by a very strong axle of adamant passing through its middle, upon which it plays, and

is poised so exactly that the weakest hand can turn it. It is hooped round with a

hollow cylinder of adamant, four feet deep, as many thick, and twelve yards in

diameter, placed horizontally, and supported by eight adamantine feet, each six

yards high. In the middle of the concave side there is a groove twelve inches deep, in which the extremities of the axle are lodged, and turned round as there

is occasion.

The stone cannot be moved from its place by any force, because the hoop and

its feet are one continued piece with that body of adamant which constitutes the

bottom of the island.

By means of this loadstone, the island is made to rise and fall, and move from

one place to another. For, with respect to that part of the earth over which the monarch presides, the stone is indued at one of its sides with an attractive power,

and at the other with a repulsive. Upon placing the magnet erect, with its

attracting end toward the earth, the island descends; but when the repelling

extremity points downwards, the island mounts directly upwards. When the

position of the stone is oblique, the motion of the island is so too: for in this magnet the forces always act in lines parallel to its direction.

By this oblique motion the island is conveyed to different parts of the

monarch’s dominions. To explain the manner of its progress, let A B represent a line drawn across the dominions of Balnibarbi. Let the line c d represent the loadstone, of which let d be the repelling end and c the attracting end, the island being over C; let the stone be placed in the position c d, with its repelling end downwards; then the island will be driven upwards obliquely towards D. When

it is arrived at D, let the stone be turned upon its axle till its attracting end points towards E, and then the island will be carried obliquely towards E; where, if the stone be again turned upon its axle till it stands in the position E F, with its repelling point downwards, the island will rise obliquely towards F, where, by directing the attracting end towards G, the island may be carried to G, and from G to H, by turning the stone so as to make its repelling extremity point directly downwards. And thus by changing the situation of the stone as often as there is

occasion, the island is made to rise and fall by turns in an oblique direction, and

by those alternate risings and fallings (the obliquity being not considerable) is conveyed from one part of the dominions to the other.

But it must be observed, that this island cannot move beyond the extent of the

dominions below, nor can it rise above the height of four miles. For which the astronomers (who have written large systems concerning the stone) assign the

following reason: that the magnetic virtue does not extend beyond the distance

of four miles, and that the mineral which acts upon the stone in the bowels of the

earth, and in the sea about six leagues distant from the shore, is not diffused through the whole globe, but terminated with the limits of the king’s dominions;

and it was easy, from the great advantage of such a superior situation, for a prince to bring under his obedience whatever country lay within the attraction of

that magnet.

When the stone is put parallel to the plane of the horizon, the island stands still; for in that case, the extremities of it being at equal distance from the earth,

act with equal force, the one in drawing downwards, the other in pushing

upwards, and consequently no motion can insue.

This loadstone is under the care of certain astronomers, who from time to time

give it such positions as the monarch directs. They spend the greatest part of their lives in observing the celestial bodies, which they do by the assistance of glasses far excelling ours in goodness. This advantage has enabled them to

extend their discoveries much farther than our astronomers in Europe; for they have made a catalogue of ten thousand fixed stars, whereas the largest of ours do

not contain above one-third part of that number. They have likewise discovered

two lesser stars, or satellites, which revolve about Mars; whereof the innermost

is distant from the center of the primary planet exactly three of the diameters, and the outermost, five; the former revolves in the space of ten hours, and the latter in twenty-one and a half; so that the squares of their periodical times are very near in the same proportion with the cubes of their distance from the center

of Mars; which evidently shows them to be governed by the same law of

gravitation that influences the other heavenly bodies.

They have observed ninety-three different comets, and settled their periods

with great exactness. If this be true (and they affirm it with great confidence), it

is much to be wished that their observations were made public, whereby the

theory of comets, which at present is very lame and defective, might be brought

to the same perfection with other parts of astronomy.

The king would be the most absolute prince in the universe, if he could but prevail on a ministry to join with him; but these, having their estates below on

the continent, and considering that the office of a favorite has a very uncertain tenure, would never consent to the enslaving their country.

If any town should engage in rebellion or mutiny, fall into violent factions, or

refuse to pay the usual tribute, the king has two methods of reducing them to obedience. The first and the mildest course is by keeping the island hovering over such a town, and the lands about it, whereby he can deprive them of the benefit of the sun and the rain, and consequently afflict the inhabitants with dearth and diseases and if the crime deserve it, they are at the same time pelted

from above with great stones, against which they have no defense but by

creeping into cellars or caves, while the roofs of their houses are beaten to pieces. But if they still continue obstinate, or offer to raise insurrections, he proceeds to the last remedy, by letting the island drop directly upon their heads,

which makes a universal destruction both of houses and men. However, this is an

extremity to which the prince is seldom driven, neither indeed is he willing to put it in execution; nor dare his ministers advise him to an action, which, as it would render them odious to the people, so it would be a great damage to their

own estates, which lie all below, for the island is the king’s demesne.

But there is still indeed a more weighty reason, why the kings of this country

have been always averse from executing so terrible an action, unless upon the utmost necessity. For if the town intended to be destroyed should have in it any

tall rocks, as it generally falls out in the larger cities, a situation probably chosen

at first with a view to prevent such a catastrophe; or if it abound in high spires or

pillars of stone, a sudden fall might endanger the bottom or under surface of the

island, which, although it consists, as I have said, of one entire adamant, two

hundred yards thick, might happen to crack by too great a shock, or burst by approaching too near the fires from the houses below, as the backs, both of iron

and stone, will often do in our chimneys. Of all this the people are well apprised,

and understand how far to carry their obstinacy, where their liberty or property is

concerned. And the king, when he is highest provoked, and most determined to

press a city to rubbish, orders the island to descend with great gentleness, out of

a pretense of tenderness to his people, but indeed for fear of breaking the adamantine bottom; in which case, it is the opinion of all their philosophers, that

the loadstone could no longer hold it up, and the whole mass would fall to the ground.

By a fundamental law of this realm, neither the king nor either of his two elder

sons are permitted to leave the island; nor the queen, till she is past childbearing.

CHAPTER IV

THE AUTHOR LEAVES LAPUTA—IS CONVEYED TO BALNIBARBI—ARRIVES AT THE

METROPOLIS—A DESCRIPTION OF THE METROPOLIS AND THE COUNTRY

ADJOINING—THE AUTHOR HOSPITABLY RECEIVED BY A GREAT LORD—HIS

CONVERSATION WITH THAT LORD.

Although I cannot say that I was ill-treated in this island, yet I must confess I

thought myself too much neglected, not without some degree of contempt; for

neither prince nor people appeared to be curious in any part of knowledge,

except mathematics and music, wherein I was far their inferior, and upon that account very little regarded.

On the other side, after having seen all the curiosities of the island, I was very

desirous to leave it, being heartily weary of those people. They were indeed excellent in two sciences for which I have great esteem, and wherein I am not unversed; but at the same time so abstracted and involved in speculation that I never met with such disagreeable companions. I conversed only with women,

tradesmen, flappers, and court pages, during two months of my abode there, by

which at last I rendered myself extremely contemptible; yet these were the only

people from whom I could ever receive a reasonable answer.

I had obtained, by hard study, a good degree of knowledge in their language; I

was weary of being confined to an island where I received so little countenance,

and resolved to leave it with the first opportunity.

There was a great lord at court, nearly related to the king, and for that reason

alone used with respect. He was universally reckoned the most ignorant and

stupid person among them. He had performed many eminent services for the

crown, had great natural and acquired parts, adorned with integrity and honor; but so ill an ear for music, that his detractors reported he had been often known

to beat time in the wrong place; neither could his tutors without extreme

difficulty teach him to demonstrate the most easy proposition in mathematics.

He was pleased to show me many marks of favor, often did me the honor of a

visit, desired to be informed in the affairs of Europe, the laws and customs, the

manners and learning of the several countries where I had traveled. He listened

to me with great attention, and made very wise observations on all I spoke. He

had two flappers attending him for state, but never made use of them, except at

court and in visits of ceremony; and would always command them to withdraw

when we were alone together.

I entreated this illustrious person to intercede in my behalf with his majesty for leave to depart; which he accordingly did, as he was pleased to tell me, with

regret; for indeed he had made me several offers, very advantageous, which,

however, I refused, with expressions of the highest acknowledgment.

On the 16th day of February I took leave of his majesty and the court. The king made me a present to the value of about two hundred pounds English, and

my protector his kinsman as much more, together with a letter of

recommendation to a friend of his in Lagado, the metropolis; the island being then hovering over a mountain about two miles from it, I was let down from the

lowest gallery, in the same manner as I had been taken up.

The continent, as far as it is subject to the monarch of the flying island, passes

under the general name of Balnibarbi; and the metropolis, as I said before, is called Lagado. I felt some little satisfaction in finding myself on firm ground. I

walked to the city without any concern, being clad like one of the natives, and

sufficiently instructed to converse with them. I soon found out the person’s

house to whom I was recommended, presented my letter from his friend the

grandee in the island, and was received with much kindness. This great lord, whose name was Munodi, ordered me an apartment in his own house, where I

continued during my stay, and was entertained in a most hospitable manner.

The next morning after my arrival he took me in his chariot to see the town,

which is about half the bigness of London, but the houses very strangely built, and most of them out of repair. The people in the streets walked fast, looked wild, their eyes fixed, and were generally in rags. We passed through one of the

town gates, and went about three miles into the country, where I saw many

laborers working with several sorts of tools in the ground, but was not able to conjecture what they were about; neither did I observe any expectation either of

corn or grass, although the soil appeared to be excellent. I could not forbear admiring at these odd appearances, both in town and country; and I made bold to

desire my conductor that he would be pleased to explain to me what could be meant by so many busy heads, hands, and faces, both in the streets and the fields, because I did not discover any good effects they produced; but on the contrary, I never knew a soil so unhappily cultivated, houses so ill-contrived and

so ruinous, or a people whose countenances and habit expressed so much misery

and want.

This Lord Munodi was a person of the first rank, and had been some years

governor of Lagado; but by a cabal of ministers was discharged for insufficiency.

However, the king treated him with tenderness, as a well-meaning man, but of a

low contemptible understanding.

When I gave that free censure of the country and its inhabitants, he made no

further answer than by telling me that I had not been long enough among them to

form a judgment; and that the different nations of the world had different

customs, with other common topics to the same purpose. But when we returned

to his palace, he asked me how I liked the building, what absurdities I observed,

and what quarrel I had with the dress and looks of his domestics. This he might

safely do, because everything about him was magnificent, regular, and polite. I

answered that his excellency’s prudence, quality, and fortune had exempted him

from those defects which folly and beggary had produced in others. He said if I

would go with him to his country house, about twenty miles distant, where his estate lay, there would be more leisure for this kind of conversation. I told his excellency that I was entirely at his disposal, and accordingly we set out next morning.

During our journey he made me observe the several methods used by farmers

in managing their lands, which to me were wholly unaccountable; for, except in

some very few places, I could not discover one ear of corn or blade of grass. But,

in three hours’ traveling, the scene was wholly altered; we came into a most beautiful country; farmers’ houses at small distances, neatly built; the fields enclosed, containing vineyards, corn-grounds and meadows. Neither do I

remember to have seen a more delightful prospect. His excellency observed my

countenance to clear up; he told me with a sigh that there his estate began, and

would continue the same till we should come to his house; that his countrymen

ridiculed and despised him for managing his affairs no better, and for setting so

ill an example to the kingdom, which however was followed by very few, such

as were old and willful and weak, like himself.

We came at length to the house, which was indeed a noble structure, built

according to the best rules of ancient architecture. The fountains, gardens, walks,

avenues, and groves, were all disposed with exact judgment and taste. I gave due

praises to everything I saw, whereof his excellency took not the least notice till

after supper; when, there being no third companion, he told me with a

melancholy air, that he doubted he must throw down his houses in town and

country, to rebuild them after the present mode, destroy all his plantations, and

cast others in such a form as modern usage required, and give the same

directions to all his tenants, unless he would submit to incur the censure of pride,

singularity, affectation, ignorance, caprice, and perhaps increase his majesty’s displeasure.

That the admiration I appeared to be under would cease or diminish when he had informed me of some particulars which probably I never heard of at court,

the people there being too much taken up in their own speculations, to have regard to what passed here below.

The sum of his discourse was to this effect: That about forty years ago, certain

persons went up to Laputa, either upon business or diversion, and after five months’ continuance, came back with a very little smattering in mathematics, but

full of volatile spirits acquired in that airy region. That these persons upon their

return began to dislike the management of everything below, and fell into

schemes of putting all arts, sciences, languages, and mechanics upon a new foot.

To this end they procured a royal patent for erecting an academy of projectors in

Lagado; and the humor prevailed so strongly among the people, that there is not

a town of any consequence in the kingdom without such an academy. In these

colleges the professors contrive new rules and methods of agriculture and

building, and new instruments and tools for all trades and manufactures;

whereby, as they undertake, one man shall do the work of ten; a palace may be

built in a week, of materials so durable as to last forever without repairing; all the fruits of the earth shall come to maturity at whatever season we think fit to

choose, and increase a hundredfold more than they do at present, with

innumerable other happy proposals. The only inconvenience is, that none of

these projects are yet brought to perfection; and in the meantime, the whole country lies miserably waste, the houses in ruins, and the people without food or

clothes. By all which, instead of being discouraged, they are fifty times more violently bent upon prosecuting their schemes, driven equally on by hope and

despair; that as for himself, being not of an enterprising spirit, he was content to

go on in the old forms, to live in the houses his ancestors had built, and act as

they did in every part of life without innovation; that some few other persons of

quality and gentry had done the same, but were looked on with an eye of

contempt and ill will, as enemies to art, ignorant, and ill commonwealthsmen, preferring their own ease and sloth before the general improvement of their

country.

His lordship added that he would not by any further particulars prevent the

pleasure I should certainly take in viewing the grand academy, whither he was resolved I should go. He only desired me to observe a ruined building upon the

side of a mountain about three miles distant, of which he gave me this account.

That he had a very convenient mill within half a mile of his house, turned by a

current from a large river, and sufficient for his own family as well as a great number of his tenants; that about seven years ago a club of these projectors came

to him with proposals to destroy this mill, and build another on the side of that mountain, on the long ridge whereof a long canal must be cut for a repository of

water, to be conveyed up by pipes and engines to supply the mill; because the wind and air upon a height agitated the water, and thereby made it fitter for motion; and because the water, descending a declivity, would turn the mill with

half the current of a river whose course is more upon a level. He said that being

then not very well with the court, and pressed by many of his friends, he

complied with the proposal; and after employing a hundred men for two years,

the work miscarried, the projectors went off, laying the blame entirely upon him,

railing at him ever since, and putting others upon the same experiment, with equal assurance of success, as well as equal disappointment.

In a few days we came back to town; and his excellency, considering the bad

character he had in the academy, would not go with me himself, but

recommended me to a friend of his to bear me company thither. My lord was

pleased to represent me as a great admirer of projects, and a person of much curiosity and easy belief; which indeed was not without truth, for I had myself

been a sort of projector in my younger days.

CHAPTER V

THE AUTHOR PERMITTED TO SEE THE GRAND ACADEMY OF LAGADO—THE ACADEMY

LARGELY

DESCRIBED—THE ARTS

WHEREIN

THE

PROFESSORS

EMPLOY

THEMSELVES.

This academy is not an entire single building, but a continuation of several houses on both sides of a street which, growing waste, was purchased and

applied to that use.

I was received very kindly by the warden, and went for many days to the

academy. Every room has in it one or more projectors; and I believe I could not

be in fewer than five hundred rooms.

The first man I saw was of a meager aspect, with sooty hands and face, his hair and beard long, ragged, and singed in several places. His clothes, shirt, and

skin were all of the same color. He had been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers, which were to be put into phials

hermetically sealed, and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers. He told me, he did not doubt in eight years more he should be able to supply the governor’s gardens with sunshine at a reasonable rate; but he complained that his

stock was low, and entreated me to give him something as an encouragement to

ingenuity, especially since this had been a very dear season for cucumbers. I made him a small present, for my lord had furnished me with money on purpose,

because he knew their practice of begging from all who go to see them.

I saw one at work to calcine ice into gunpowder, who likewise showed me a

treatise he had written concerning the malleability of fire, which he intended to

publish.

There was a most ingenious architect who had contrived a new method for

building houses, by beginning at the roof and working downwards to the

foundation; which he justified to me by the like practice of those two prudent insects the bee and the spider.

There was a man born blind, who had several apprentices in his own

condition; their employment was to mix colors for painters, which their master

taught them to distinguish by feeling and smelling. It was indeed my misfortune

to find them at that time not very perfect in their lessons, and the professor himself happened to be generally mistaken. This artist is much encouraged and

esteemed by the whole fraternity.

In another apartment, I was highly pleased with a projector who had found a device of ploughing the ground with hogs, to save the charges of ploughs, cattle,

and labor. The method is this: In an acre of ground you bury at six inches’

distance, and eight deep, a quantity of acorns, dates, chestnuts, and other mast or

vegetables whereof these animals are fondest; then you drive six hundred or

more of them into the field, where in a few days they will root up the whole ground in search of their food, and make it fit for sowing, at the same time manuring it with their dung; it is true upon experiment they found the charge and

trouble very great, and they had little or no crop. However, it is not doubted that

this invention may be capable of great improvement.

I went into another room, where the walls and ceiling were all hung round

with cobwebs, except a narrow passage for the artist to go in and out. At my entrance, he called aloud to me not to disturb his webs. He lamented the fatal mistake the world had been so long in of using silkworms, while he had such plenty of domestic insects who infinitely excelled the former, because they

understood how to weave as well as spin. And he proposed further, that by

employing spiders, the charge of dyeing silks should be wholly saved; whereof I

was fully convinced when he showed me a vast number of flies most beautifully

colored, wherewith he fed his spiders, assuring us that the webs would take a tincture from them; and as he had them of all hues, he hoped to fit everybody’s

fancy, as soon as he could find proper food for the flies, of certain gums, oils, and other glutinous matter, to give a strength and consistence to the threads.

There was an astronomer who had undertaken to place a sundial upon the

great weathercock on the townhouse, by adjusting the annual and diurnal

motions of the earth and sun, so as to answer and coincide with all accidental turnings by the wind.

I visited many other apartments, but shall not trouble my reader with all the curiosities I observed, being studious of brevity.

I had hitherto seen only one side of the academy, the other being appropriated

to the advancers of speculative learning, of whom I shall say something when I

have mentioned one illustrious person more, who is called among them “the

universal artist.” He told us he had been thirty years employing his thoughts for

the improvement of human life. He had two large rooms full of wonderful

curiosities, and fifty men at work. Some were condensing air into a dry tangible

substance, by extracting the niter, and letting the aqueous or fluid particles percolate; others softening marble for pillows and pincushions; others petrifying

the hoofs of a living horse to preserve them from foundering. The artist himself

was at that time busy upon two great designs; the first to sow land with chaff, wherein he affirmed the true seminal virtue to be contained, as he demonstrated

by several experiments which I was not skillful enough to comprehend. The

other was, by a certain composition of gums, minerals, and vegetables,

outwardly applied, to prevent the growth of wool upon two young lambs; and he

hoped in a reasonable time to propagate the breed of naked sheep all over the kingdom.

We crossed a walk to the other part of the academy, where, as I have already

said, the projector in speculative learning resided.

The first professor I saw was in a very large room, with forty pupils about him. After salutation, observing me to look earnestly upon a frame, which took

up the greatest part of both the length and breadth of the room, he said perhaps I

might wonder to see him employed in a project for improving speculative

knowledge by practical and mechanical operations. But the world would soon be

sensible of its usefulness, and he flattered himself that a more noble exalted thought never sprang in any other man’s head. Every one knew how laborious

the usual method is of attaining to arts and sciences; whereas by his contrivance

the most ignorant person, at a reasonable charge, and with a little bodily labor,

may write books in philosophy, poetry, politics, law, mathematics, and theology,

without the least assistance from genius or study. He then led me to the frame,

about the sides whereof all his pupils stood in ranks. It was twenty feet square,

placed in the middle of the room. The superficies was composed of several bits

of wood, about the bigness of a die, but some larger than others. They were all

linked together by slender wires. These bits of wood were covered on every

square with paper pasted on them; and on these papers were written all the words

of their language in their several moods, tenses, and declensions, but without any

order. The professor then desired me to observe, for he was going to set his engine at work. The pupils, at his command, took each of them hold of an iron

handle, whereof there were forty fixed round the edges of the frame, and giving

them a sudden turn, the whole disposition of the words was entirely changed. He

then commanded six-and-thirty of the lads to read the several lines softly as they

appeared upon the frame; and where they found three or four words together that

might make part of a sentence, they dictated to the four remaining boys, who were scribes. This work was repeated three or four times; and at every turn the

engine was so contrived, that the words shifted into new places, as the square bits of wood moved upside down.

Six hours a day the young students were employed in this labor; and the

professor showed me several volumes in large folio, already collected, of broken sentences, which he intended to piece together, and out of those rich materials to

give the world a complete body of all arts and sciences; which, however, might

be still improved, and much expedited, if the public would raise a fund for making and employing five hundred such frames in Lagado, and oblige the

managers to contribute in common their several collections.

He assured me that this invention had employed all his thoughts from his

youth; that he had employed the whole vocabulary into his frame, and made the

strictest computation of the general proportion there is in books between the numbers of particles, nouns, and verbs, and other parts of speech.

I made my humblest acknowledgment to this illustrious person for his great

communicativeness, and promised if ever I had the good fortune to return to my

native country, that I would do him justice, as the sole inventor of this wonderful

machine, the form and contrivance of which I desired leave to delineate upon paper. I told him, although it were the custom of our learned in Europe to steal

inventions from each other, who had thereby at least this advantage, that it became a controversy which was the right owner yet I would take such caution,

that he should have the honor entire, without a rival.

We next went to the school of language, where three professors sat in

consultation upon improving that of their own country.

“He had been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out of cucumbers”

Page 201

The first project was to shorten discourse by cutting polysyllables into one, and leaving out verbs and participles; because in reality all things imaginable are

but nouns.

The other was a scheme for entirely abolishing all words whatsoever; and this

was urged as a great advantage in point of health as well as brevity. For it is

plain, that every word we speak is in some degree a diminution of our lungs by corrosion, and consequently contributes to the shortening of our lives. An

expedient was therefore offered, that since words are only names for things, it would be more convenient for all men to carry about them such things as were

necessary to express the particular business they are to discourse on. And this invention would certainly have taken place, to the great ease as well as health of

the subject, if the women, in conjunction with the vulgar and illiterate, had not

threatened to raise a rebellion unless they might be allowed the liberty to speak

with their tongues, after the manner of their ancestors; such constant

irreconcilable enemies to science are the common people. However, many of the

most learned and wise adhere to the new scheme of expressing themselves by

things; which has only this inconvenience attending it, that if a man’s business be very great, and of various kinds, he must be obliged in proportion to carry a

greater bundle of things upon his back, unless he can afford one or two strong servants to attend him. I have often beheld two of those sages almost sinking under the weight of their packs, like peddlers among us; who when they met in

the street would lay down their loads, open their sacks, and hold conversation for

an hour together; then put up their implements, help each other to resume their

burdens, and take their leave.

But for short conversations a man may carry implements in his pockets and

under his arms, enough to supply him; and in his house he cannot be at a loss.

Therefore the room where company meet who practice this art, is full of all things, ready at hand, requisite to furnish matter for this kind of artificial converse.

Another great advantage proposed by this invention was, that it would serve

as a universal language, to be understood in all civilized nations, whose goods and utensils are generally of the same kind, or nearly resembling, so that their uses might easily be comprehended. And thus ambassadors would be qualified to

treat with foreign princes, or ministers of state, to whose tongues they were utter

strangers.

I was at the mathematical school, where the master taught his pupils after a method scarce imaginable to us in Europe. The proposition and demonstration

were fairly written on a thin wafer, with ink composed of cephalic tincture. This

the student was to swallow upon a fasting stomach, and for three days following

eat nothing but bread and water. As the wafer digested, the tincture mounted to

his brain, bearing the proposition along with it. But the success has not hitherto

been answerable, partly by some error in the quantum or composition, and partly

by the perverseness of lads, to whom this bolus is so nauseous that they

generally steal aside and discharge it upwards before it can operate; neither have

they been yet persuaded to use so long an abstinence as the prescription requires.

CHAPTER VI

A FURTHER ACCOUNT OF THE ACADEMY—THE AUTHOR PROPOSES SOME

IMPROVEMENTS, WHICH ARE HONORABLY RECEIVED.

In the school of political projectors I was but ill entertained, the professors appearing to me wholly out of their senses, which is a scene that never fails to

make me melancholy. These unhappy people were proposing schemes for

persuading monarchs to choose favorites upon the score of their wisdom,

capacity, and virtue; of teaching ministers to consult the public good; of

rewarding merit, great abilities, and eminent services; of instructing princes to know their true interest by placing it on the same foundation with that of their people; of choosing for employments persons qualified to exercise them; with

many other wild, impossible chimeras, that never entered before into the heart of

man to conceive, and confirmed in me the old observation, that “there is nothing

so extravagant and irrational, which some philosophers have not maintained for

truth.”

But, however, I shall so far do justice to this part of the academy, as to acknowledge that all of them were not so visionary. There was a most ingenious

doctor who seemed to be perfectly versed in the whole nature and system of

government. This illustrious person had very usefully employed his studies in

finding out effectual remedies for all diseases and corruptions to which the

several kinds of public administration are subject, by the vices or infirmities of

those who govern, as well as by the licentiousness of those who are to obey. For

instance, whereas all writers and reasoners have agreed that there is a strict universal resemblance between the natural and the political body, can there be anything more evident, than that the health of both must be preserved, and the diseases cured by the same prescription? It is allowed, that senates and great councils are often troubled with redundant, ebullient, and other peccant humors;

with many diseases of the head, and more of the heart; with strong convulsions,

with grievous contractions of the nerves and sinews in both hands, but especially

the right; with spleen, flatus, vertigoes, and deliriums; with scrofulous tumors, full of fetid purulent matter; with sour, frothy eructations; with canine appetites

and crudeness of digestion, besides many others, needless to mention. This

doctor therefore proposed that upon the meeting of a senate, certain physicians

should attend at the three first days of their sitting, and at the close of each day’s

debate feel the pulses of every senator; after which, having maturely considered

and consulted upon the nature of the several maladies, and the methods of cure, they should on the fourth day return to the senate house, attended by their apothecaries, stored with proper, medicines, and before the members sat,

administer to each of them lenitives, aperitives, abstersives, corrosives,

restringents, palliatives, laxatives, cephalalgics, icterics, apophlegmatics,

acoustics, as their several cases required, and according as these medicines

should operate, repeat, alter, or omit them at the next meeting.

This project could not be of any great expense to the public, and would in my

poor opinion be of much use for the dispatch of business, in those countries where senates have any share in the legislative power, beget unanimity, shorten

debates, open a few mouths which are now closed, and close many more which

are now open; curb the petulancy of the young, and correct the positiveness of the old; rouse the stupid, and damp the pert.

Again, because it is a general complaint that the favorites of princes are

troubled with short and weak memories, the same doctor proposed that whoever

attended a first minister, after having told his business with the utmost brevity and in the plainest words, should at his departure give the said minister a tweak

by the nose, or a kick in the belly, or tread on his corns, or lug him thrice by both

ears, or run a pin into his breech, or pinch his arm black and blue, to prevent forgetfulness; and at every levee day repeat the same operation, till the business

were done or absolutely refused.

He likewise directed that every senator in the great council of a nation, after

he had delivered his opinion and argued in the defense of it, should be obliged to

give his vote directly contrary; because if that were done, the result would infallibly terminate in the good of the public.

When parties in a state are violent, he offered a wonderful contrivance to

reconcile them. The method is this: You take a hundred leaders of each party; you dispose them into couples of such whose heads are nearest of a size; then let

two nice operators saw off the occiput of each couple at the same time, in such a

manner that the brain may be equally divided. Let the occiputs thus cut off be interchanged, applying each to the head of his opposite party man. It seems

indeed to be a work that requires some exactness, but the professor assured us that if it were dexterously performed, the cure would be infallible. For he argued

thus: that the two half brains being left to debate the matter between themselves

within the space of one skull, would soon come to a good understanding, and produce that moderation, as well as regularity of thinking, so much to be wished

for in the heads of those who imagine they come into the world only to watch

and govern its motion; and as to the difference of brains, in quantity or quality, among those who are directors in faction, the doctor assured us, from his own knowledge, that it was a perfect trifle.

I heard a very warm debate between two professors, about the most

commodious and effectual ways and means of raising money without grieving

the subject. The first affirmed, the justest method would be to lay a certain tax

upon vices and folly, and the sum fixed upon every man to be rated after the fairest manner by a jury of his neighbors. The second was of an opinion directly

contrary: to tax those qualities of body and mind for which men chiefly value themselves, the rate to be more or less according to the degrees of excelling, the

decision whereof should be left entirely to their own breast. The highest tax was

upon men who are the greatest favorites of the other sex, and the assessments according to the number and natures of the favors they have received; for which

they are allowed to be their own vouchers. Wit, valor, and politeness were

likewise proposed to be largely taxed, and collected in the same manner, by

every person’s giving his own word for the quantum of what he possessed. But

as to honor, justice, wisdom, and learning, they should not be taxed at all, because they are qualifications of so singular a kind, that no man will either allow them in his neighbor or value them in himself.

The women were proposed to be taxed according to their beauty and skill in

dressing, wherein they had the same privilege with the men, to be determined by

their own judgment. But constancy, chastity, good sense, and good nature, were

not rated, because they would not bear the charge of collecting.

To keep senators in the interest of the crown, it was proposed that the

members shall raffle for employments, every man first taking an oath, and giving

security that he would vote for the court, whether he won or no, after which the

losers had in their turn the liberty of raffling upon the next vacancy. Thus hope

and expectation would be kept alive; none would complain of broken promises,

but impute their disappointments wholly to fortune, whose shoulders are broader

and stronger than those of a ministry.

The whole discourse was written with great acuteness, containing many

observations both curious and useful for politicians, but as I conceived not

altogether complete. This I ventured to tell the author, and offered if he pleased

to supply him with some additions. He received my proposition with more

compliance than is usual among writers, especially those of the projecting

species, professing he would be glad to receive further information.

I told him that were I to live in a kingdom where the bulk of the people indulged in plots and conspiracies, I would take care to encourage the breed of

discoverers, witnesses, informers, accusers, prosecutors, evidences, swearers,

together with their several subservient and subaltern instruments, placing them all under the pay and the protection of ministers of state or other powerful persons who desire to raise their own characters as profound politicians. Men thus qualified and empowered might restore new vigor to a crazy administration;

stifle or divert general discontents; fill their pockets with forfeitures, and advance or sink the opinion of public credit, as either shall best answer their private advantage. This might be done by first agreeing and settling among

themselves what suspected persons shall be accused of a plot; then, effectual care being taken to secure all their letters and papers, and the criminal placed in

secure custody, these papers might be delivered to a set of artists sufficiently dexterous to find out the mysterious meanings of words, syllables, and letters.

They should be allowed to place what interpretation they please upon them, even

if it is contrary to their true intent and meaning; for instance, they may, if they so

fancy, interpret a sieve to signify a court lady; a lame dog, an invader; the plague, a standing army; a buzzard, a great statesman; the gout, a high priest; a

broom, a revolution; a mouse-trap, an employment; a bottomless pit, a treasury;

a sink, a court; a cap and bells, a favorite; a broken reed, a court of justice; an

empty tun, a general; a running sore, an administration.

But should this method fail, recourse might be had to others more effectual, which learned men call acrostics and anagrams. First, might be found men of

skill and penetration who can discern that all initial letters have political meanings. Thus N shall signify a plot, B a regiment of horse, L a fleet at sea. Or,

secondly, by transposing the letters of the alphabet in any suspected paper, they

can discover the deepest designs of a discontented party. So, for example, if I should say in a letter to a friend: “Our brother Tom has just got the measles,” a

man of skill in this art would discover that the same letters which compose that

sentence might be analyzed into the following words: Resist.—A Plot is brought

home.—The Tower. And this is the anagrammatic method.

The professor made me great acknowledgments for communicating these

observations, and promised to make honorable mention of me in his treatise.

I saw nothing in this country that could invite me to a longer continuance, and

began to think of returning home to England.

CHAPTER VII

THE AUTHOR LEAVES LAGADO—ARRIVES AT MALDONADA—NO SHIP READY—HE

TAKES A SHORT VOYAGE TO GLUBBDUBDRIB—HIS RECEPTION BY THE

GOVERNOR.

The continent, of which this kingdom is a part, extends itself, as I have reason

to believe, eastward to that unknown tract of America, westward of California,

and north to the Pacific Ocean, which is not above a hundred and fifty miles from Lagado, where there is a good port and much commerce with the great

island of Luggnagg, situated to the northwest about 29 degrees north latitude, and 140 longitude. This island of Luggnagg stands southeastward of Japan,

about a hundred leagues distant. There is a strict alliance between the Japanese

emperor and the king of Luggnagg, which affords frequent opportunities of

sailing from one island to the other. I determined therefore to direct my course

this way, in order to my return to Europe. I hired two mules, with a guide to show me the way, and carry my small baggage. I took leave of my noble

protector, who had shown me so much favor, and made me a generous present at

my departure.

My journey was without any accident or adventure worth relating. When I

arrived at the port of Maldonada (for so it is called) there was no ship in the harbor bound for Luggnagg, nor like to be in some time. The town is about as large as Portsmouth. I soon fell into some acquaintance, and was very hospitably

received. A gentleman of distinction said to me, that since the ships bound for Luggnagg could not be ready in less than a month, it might be no disagreeable

amusement for me to take a trip to the little island of Glubbdubdrib, about five

leagues off to the southwest. He offered himself and a friend to accompany me,

and that I should be provided with a small convenient bark for the voyage.

Glubbdubdrib, as nearly as I can interpret the word, signifies the Island of Sorcerers or Magicians. It is about one-third as large as the Isle of Wight, and extremely fruitful; it is governed by the head of a certain tribe, who are all magicians. This tribe marries only among each other, and the eldest in

succession is prince or governor. He has a noble palace, and a park of about three thousand acres, surrounded by a wall of hewn stone twenty feet high. In this park are several small enclosures for cattle, corn, and gardening.

The governor and his family are served and attended by domestics of a kind

somewhat unusual. By his skill in necromancy, he has a power of calling whom

he pleases from the dead, and commanding their service for twenty-four hours, but no longer; nor can he call the same persons up again in less than three months, except upon very extraordinary occasions.

When we arrived at the island, which was about eleven in the morning, one of

the gentlemen who accompanied me went to the governor and desired

admittance for a stranger, who came on purpose to have the honor of attending

on his highness. This was immediately granted, and we all three entered the gate

of the palace between two rows of guards, armed and dressed after a very antic

manner, and something in their countenances that made my flesh creep with a

horror I cannot express. We passed through several apartments, between servants

of the same sort, ranked on each side as before, till we came to the chamber of

presence, where after three profound obeisances and a few general questions, we

were permitted to sit on three stools near the lowest step of his highness’s throne.

He understood the language of Balnibarbi, although it were different from that of

this island. He desired me to give him some account of my travels; and to let me

see that I should be treated without ceremony, he dismissed all his attendants with a turn of his finger; at which, to my great astonishment, they vanished in an

instant, like visions in a dream when we awake on a sudden. I could not recover

myself in some time, till the governor assured me that I should receive no hurt;

and observing my two companions to be under no concern, who had been often

entertained in the same manner, I began to take courage, and related to his highness a short history of my several adventures, yet not without some

hesitation, and frequently looking behind me to the place where I had seen those

domestic specters. I had the honor to dine with the governor, where a new set of

ghosts served up the meat, and waited at table. I now observed myself to be less

terrified than I had been in the morning. I stayed till sunset, but humbly desired

his highness to excuse me for not accepting his invitation of lodging in the palace. My two friends and I lay at a private house in the town adjoining, which

is the capital of this little island; and the next morning we returned to pay our duty to the governor, as he was pleased to command us.

After this manner we continued in the island for ten days, most part of every

day with the governor, and at night in our lodging. I soon grew so familiarized to

the sight of spirits, that after the third or fourth time they gave me no emotion at

all; or if I had any apprehensions left, my curiosity prevailed over them. For his

highness the governor ordered me to call up whatever persons I would choose to

name, and in whatever numbers, among all the dead from the beginning of the world to the present time, and command them to answer any questions I should

think fit to ask; with this condition, that my questions must be confined within

the compass of the times they lived in. And one thing I might depend upon, that they would certainly tell me truth, for lying was a talent of no use in the lower

world.

I made my humble acknowledgments to his highness for so great a favor. We

were in a chamber whence there was a fair prospect into the park. And because

my first inclination was to be entertained with scenes of pomp and magnificence,

I desired to see Alexander the Great at the head of his army, just after the battle

of Arbela; which, upon a motion of the governor’s finger, immediately appeared

in a large field under the window where we stood. Alexander was called up into

the room; it was with great difficulty that I understood his Greek, and had but little of my own. He assured me upon his honor that he was not poisoned, but died of a fever, by excessive drinking.

Next I saw Hannibal passing the Alps, who told me he had not a drop of

vinegar in his camp.

I saw Cæsar and Pompey at the head of their troops, just ready to engage. I saw the former in his last great triumph. I desired that the senate of Rome might

appear before me in one large chamber, and an assembly of somewhat a later

age, in counterview, in another. The first seemed to be an assembly of heroes and

demigods; the other, a knot of peddlers, pickpockets, highwaymen, and bullies.

The governor, at my request, gave the sign for Cæsar and Brutus to advance

towards us. I was struck with a profound veneration at the sight of Brutus, and

could easily discover the most consummate virtue, the greatest intrepidity and firmness of mind, the truest love of his country, and general benevolence for mankind, in every lineament of his countenance. I observed with much pleasure,

that these two persons were in good intelligence with each other; and Cæsar

freely confessed to me that the greatest actions of his own life were not equal by

many degrees to the glory of taking it away. I had the honor to have much conversation with Brutus; and was told that his ancestor Junius, Socrates,

Epaminondas, Cato the Younger, Sir Thomas More, and himself, were

perpetually together; a sextumvirate to which all the ages of the world cannot add a seventh.

It would be tedious to trouble the reader with relating what vast numbers of illustrious persons were called up, to gratify that insatiable desire I had to see the

world in every period of antiquity placed before me. I chiefly fed mine eyes with

beholding the destroyers of tyrants and usurpers, and the restorers of liberty to oppressed and injured nations. But it is impossible to express the satisfaction I

received in my own mind, after such a manner as to make it a suitable entertainment to the reader.

CHAPTER VIII

A FURTHER ACCOUNT OF GLUBBDUBDRIB—ANCIENT AND MODERN HISTORY

CORRECTED.

Having a desire to see those ancients who were most renowned for wit and

learning, I set apart one day on purpose. I proposed that Homer and Aristotle might appear at the head of all their commentators; but these were so numerous

that some hundreds were forced to attend in the court and outward rooms of the

palace. I knew and could distinguish those two heroes at first sight, not only from the crowd, but from each other. Homer was the taller and comelier person

of the two, walked very erect for one of his age, and his eyes were the most quick and piercing I ever beheld. Aristotle stooped much, and made use of a staff. His visage was meager, his hair lank and thin, and his voice hollow. I soon

discovered that both of them were perfect strangers to the rest of the company,

and had never seen or heard of them before. And I had a whisper from a ghost,

who shall be nameless, that these commentators always kept in the most distant

quarters from their principals, in the lower world, through a consciousness of shame and guilt, because they had so horribly misrepresented the meaning of

those authors to posterity. I introduced Didymus and Eustathius to Homer, and prevailed on him to treat them better than perhaps they deserved, for he soon found they wanted a genius to enter into the spirit of a poet. But Aristotle was out of all patience with the account I gave him of Scotus and Ramus, as I presented them to him, and he asked them whether the rest of the tribe were as

great dunces as themselves.

I then desired the governor to call up Descartes and Gassendi, with whom I

prevailed to explain their systems to Aristotle. This great philosopher freely acknowledged his own mistakes in natural philosophy, because he proceeded in

many things upon conjecture, as all men must do; and he found that Gassendi, who had made the doctrine of Epicurus as palatable as he could, and the vortices

of Descartes, were equally exploded. He predicted the same fate to attraction, whereof the present learned are such zealous assertors. He said that new systems

of nature were but new fashions which would vary in every age; and even those

who pretend to demonstrate them from mathematical principles, would flourish

but a short period of time, and be out of vogue when that was determined.

I spent five days in conversing with many others of the ancient learned. I saw

most of the first Roman emperors. I prevailed on the governor to call up

Eliogabulus’s cooks to dress us a dinner, but they could not show us much of their skill, for want of materials. A helot of Agesilaus made us a dish of Spartan

broth, but I was not able to get down a second spoonful.

The two gentlemen who conducted me to the island were pressed by their

private affairs to return in three days, which I employed in seeing some of the modern dead, who had made the greatest figure for two or three hundred years

past, in our own and other countries of Europe; and having been always a great

admirer of old illustrious families, I desired the governor would call up a dozen

or two of kings, with their ancestors in order, for eight or nine generations. But

my disappointment was grievous and unexpected. For, instead of a long train

with royal diadems, I saw in one family two fiddlers, three spruce courtiers, and

an Italian prelate. In another, a barber, an abbot, and two cardinals. I have too great a veneration for crowned heads to dwell any longer on so nice a subject.

But as to counts, marquises, dukes, earls, and the like, I was not so scrupulous.

And I confess it was not without some pleasure that I found myself able to trace

the particular features by which certain families are distinguished, up to their originals. I could plainly discover from whence one family derives a long chin;

why a second has abounded with knaves for two generations, and fools for two

more; why a third happened to be crack-brained, and a fourth to be sharpers; whence it came, what Polydore Virgil says of a certain great house, Nec vir fortis; nec fæmina casta; how cruelty, falsehood, and cowardice grew to be characteristics by which certain families are distinguished as much as by their coat of arms. Neither could I wonder at all this, when I saw such an interruption

of lineages, by pages, lackeys, valets, coachmen, gamesters, captains, and

pickpockets.

I was chiefly disgusted with modern history. For having strictly examined all

the persons of greatest name in the courts of princes for a hundred years past, I

found how the world had been misled by prostitute writers, to ascribe the

greatest exploits in war to cowards, the wisest counsel to fools, sincerity to flatterers, Roman virtue to betrayers of their country, piety to atheists, truth to informers; how many innocent and excellent persons had been condemned to

death or banishment by the practicing of great ministers upon the corruption of

judges, and the malice of factions; how many villains had been exalted to the highest places of trust, power, dignity, and profit; how great a share in the motions and events of courts, councils, and senates might be challenged by

pimps, parasites, and buffoons. How low an opinion I had of human wisdom and

integrity when I was truly informed of the springs and motives of great

enterprises and revolutions in the world, and of the contemptible accidents to

which they owed their success!

Here I discovered the roguery and ignorance of those who pretend to write

anecdotes, or secret history; who send so many kings to their graves with a cup

of poison; will repeat the discourse between a prince and a chief minister, where

no witness was by; unlock the thoughts and cabinets of ambassadors and

secretaries of state; and have the perpetual misfortune to be mistaken. Here I discovered the secret causes of many great events that have surprised the world.

A general confessed in my presence, that he got a victory purely by the force of

cowardice and ill conduct; and an admiral, that for want of proper intelligence,

he beat the enemy to whom he intended to betray the fleet. Three kings protested

to me, that in their whole reigns they did never once prefer any person of merit,

unless by mistake or treachery of some minister in whom they confided; neither

would they do it if they were to live again; and they showed, with great strength

of reason, that the royal throne could not be supported without corruption,

because that positive, confident, restive temper which virtue infused into man, was a perpetual clog to public business.

I had the curiosity to inquire in a particular manner, by what method great numbers had procured to themselves high titles of honor, and prodigious estates;

and I confined my inquiry to a very modern period; however, without grating

upon present times because I would be sure to give no offense even to

foreigners; for I hope the reader need not be told, that I do not in the least intend

my own country in what I say upon this occasion. A great number of persons concerned were called up, and upon a very slight examination, discovered such a

scene of infamy, that I cannot reflect upon it without some seriousness. Perjury,

oppression, subornation, fraud, panderism, and the like infirmities, were among

the most excusable arts they had to mention; and for these I gave, as it was reasonable, great allowance. But when some confessed they owed their greatness

and wealth to vice; others to the betraying their country or their prince; some to

poisoning, more to the perverting of justice in order to destroy the innocent, I hope I may be pardoned if these discoveries inclined me a little to abate of that

profound veneration which I am naturally apt to pay to persons of high rank, who ought to be treated with the utmost respect due to their sublime dignity, by

us their inferiors.

I had often read of some great services done to princes and states, and desired

to see the persons by whom those services were performed. Upon inquiry, I was

told that their names were to be found on no record, except a few of them whom

history has represented as the vilest rogues and traitors. As to the rest, I had

never once heard of them. They all appeared with dejected looks, and in the meanest habit, most of them telling me they died in poverty and disgrace, and the rest on a scaffold or a gibbet.

Among the rest there was one person whose case appeared a little singular. He

had a youth about eighteen years old standing by his side. He told me he had for

many years been commander of a ship, and in the sea fight at Actium had the good fortune to break through the enemies’ great line of battle, sink three of their

capital ships, and take a fourth, which was the sole cause of Antony’s flight, and

of the victory that insued; that the youth standing by him, his only son, was killed in the action. He added that upon the confidence of some merit, this war

being at an end, he went to Rome, and solicited at the court of Augustus to be

preferred to a greater ship, whose commander had been killed; but without any

regard to his pretensions, it was given to a youth who had never seen the sea, the

son of Libertina, who waited on one of the emperor’s mistresses. Returning to his own vessel, he was charged with neglect of duty, and the ship given to a favorite page of Publicola, the vice-admiral; whereupon he retired to a poor farm

at a great distance from Rome, and there ended his life. I was so curious to know

the truth of this story, that I desired Agrippa might be called, who was admiral in

that fight. He appeared, and confirmed the whole account; but with much more

advantage to the captain, whose modesty had extenuated or concealed a great

part of his merit.

I was surprised to find corruption grown so high and so quick in that empire,

by the force of luxury so lately introduced; which made me less wonder at many

parallel cases in other countries, where vices of all kinds have reigned so much

longer, and where the whole praise as well as pillage has been engrossed by the

chief commander, who perhaps had the least title to either.

As every person called up made exactly the same appearance he had done in

the world, it gave me melancholy reflections to observe how much the race of human kind was degenerate among us, within these hundred years past.

I descended so low as to desire that some English yeomen of the old stamp

might be summoned to appear, once so famous for the simplicity of their

manners, diet, and dress; for justice in their dealings; for their true spirit of liberty; for their valor, and love of their country. Neither could I be wholly unmoved after comparing the living with the dead, when I considered how all

these pure native virtues were prostituted for a piece of money by their

grandchildren, who, in selling their votes and managing at elections, have

acquired every vice and corruption that can possibly be learned in a court.

CHAPTER IX

THE AUTHOR’S RETURN TO MALDONADA—SAILS TO THE KINGDOM OF LUGGNAGG—

THE AUTHOR CONFINED—HE IS SENT FOR TO COURT—THE MANNER OF HIS

ADMITTANCE—THE KING’S GREAT LENITY TO HIS SUBJECTS.

The day of our departure being come, I took leave of his highness the

governor of Glubbdubdrib, and returned with my two companions to Maldonada,

where, after a fortnight’s waiting, a ship was ready to sail for Luggnagg. The two

gentlemen and some others were so generous and kind as to furnish me with

provisions, and see me on board. I was a month in this voyage. We had one violent storm, and were under a necessity of steering westward to get into the trade wind, which holds for above sixty leagues. On the 21st of April, 1709, we

sailed into the river of Clumegnig, which is a seaport town, at the southeast point

of Luggnagg. We cast anchor within a league of the town, and made a signal for

a pilot. Two of them came on board in less than half an hour, by whom we were

guided between certain shoals and rocks which are very dangerous in the

passage to a large basin, where a fleet may ride in safety within a cable’s length

of the town wall.

Some of our sailors, whether out of treachery or inadvertence, had informed

the pilots that I was a stranger and a great traveler, whereof these gave notice to

a customhouse officer, by whom I was examined very strictly upon my landing.

This officer spoke to me in the language of Balnibarbi, which by the force of much commerce is generally understood in that town, especially by seamen and

those employed in the customs. I gave him a short account of some particulars,

and made my story as plausible and consistent as I could; but I thought it necessary to disguise my country, and call myself a Hollander, because my

intentions were for Japan, and I knew the Dutch were the only Europeans

permitted to enter into that kingdom. I therefore told the officer that having been

shipwrecked on the coast of Balnibarbi, and cast on a rock, I was received up into Laputa, or the flying island (of which he had often heard), and was now endeavoring to get to Japan, whence I might find a convenience of returning to

my own country. The officer said I must be confined till he could receive orders

from court, for which he would write immediately, and hoped to receive an

answer in a fortnight. I was carried to a convenient lodging, with a sentry placed

at the door; however I had the liberty of a large garden, and was treated with humanity enough, being maintained all the time at the king’s charge. I was

visited by several persons, chiefly out of curiosity, because it was reported that I

came from countries very remote, of which they had never heard.

I hired a young man who came in the same ship to be an interpreter; he was a

native of Luggnagg, but had lived some years at Maldonada, and was a perfect

master of both languages. By his assistance I was able to hold a conversation with those who came to visit me; but this consisted only of their questions and

my answers.

The dispatch came from court about the time we expected. It contained a

warrant for conducting me and my retinue to Traldragdubh, or Trildrogdrib (for

it is pronounced both ways as near as I can remember), by a party of ten horse.

All my retinue was that poor lad for an interpreter, whom I persuaded into my service, and at my humble request, we had each of us a mule to ride on. A messenger was dispatched half a day’s journey before us, to give the king notice

of my approach; and to desire that his majesty would please to appoint a day and

hour, when it would be his gracious pleasure that I might have the honor to lick

the dust before his footstool. This is the court style, and I found it to be more than matter of form: for, upon my admittance two days after my arrival, I was commanded to crawl on my belly, and lick the floor as I advanced; but on

account of my being a stranger, care was taken to have it swept so clean that the

dust was not offensive. However, this was a peculiar grace, not allowed to any

but persons of the highest rank, when they desire an admittance. Nay, sometimes

the floor is strewed with dust on purpose, when the person to be admitted

happens to have powerful enemies at court; and I have seen a great lord with his

mouth so crammed, that when he had crept to the proper distance from the

throne, he was not able to speak a word. Neither is there any remedy, because it

is capital for those who receive an audience to spit or wipe their mouths in his

majesty’s presence. There is indeed another custom which I cannot altogether

approve of: When the king has a mind to put any of his nobles to death in a gentle indulgent manner, he commands to have the floor strewn with a certain brown powder of a deadly composition, which, being licked up, infallibly kills him in twenty-four hours. But in justice to this prince’s great clemency, and the

care he has of his subjects’ lives (wherein it were much to be wished that the monarchs of Europe would imitate him), it must be mentioned for his honor, that

strict orders are given to have the infected parts of the floor well washed after every such execution, which if his domestics neglect, they are in danger of

incurring his royal displeasure. I myself heard him give directions that one of his

pages should be whipped, whose turn it was to give notice about washing the floor after an execution, but maliciously had omitted it, by which neglect a young lord of great hopes, coming to an audience, was unfortunately poisoned,

although the king at that time had no design against his life. But this good prince was so gracious as to forgive the poor page his whipping, upon promise that he

would do so no more, without special orders.

To return from this digression: When I had crept within four yards of the

throne, I raised myself gently upon my knees, and then striking my forehead

seven times on the ground, I pronounced the following words, as they had been

taught me the night before: Ickpling gloffthrobb spuut serumm blhiop mlashnalt

zwin tnodbalkuffh slhiophad gurdlubh asht. This is the compliment established by the laws of the land for all persons admitted to the king’s presence. It may be

rendered into English thus: “May your celestial majesty outlive the sun, eleven

moons and a half!” To this the king returned some answer, which although I

could not understand, yet I replied as I had been directed: Fluft drin yalerick dwuldom prastrad mirpush, which properly signifies, “My tongue is in the mouth of my friend”; and by this expression was meant that I desired leave to bring my interpreter; whereupon the young man already mentioned was

accordingly introduced, by whose intervention I answered as many questions as

his majesty could put in above an hour. I spoke in the Balnibarbian tongue, and

my interpreter delivered my meaning in that of Luggnagg.

The king was much delighted with my company, and ordered his bliffmarklub,

or high-chamberlain, to appoint a lodging in the court for me and my interpreter,

with a daily allowance for my table, and a large purse of gold for my common

expenses.

I stayed three months in this country out of perfect obedience to his majesty,

who was pleased highly to favor me, and made me very honorable offers. But I

thought it more consistent with prudence and justice to pass the remainder of my

days with my wife and family.

CHAPTER X

THE

LUGGNAGGIANS

COMMENDED—A

PARTICULAR

DESCRIPTION

OF

THE

STRULDBRUGS, WITH MANY CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN THE AUTHOR AND SOME

EMINENT PERSONS UPON THAT SUBJECT.

The Luggnaggians are a polite and generous people, and although they are not

without some share of that pride which is peculiar to all Eastern countries, yet they show themselves courteous to strangers, especially such who are

countenanced by the court. I had many acquaintances among persons of the best

fashion, and being always attended by my interpreter, the conversation we had was not disagreeable.

One day in much good company I was asked by a person of quality whether I

had seen any of their struldbrugs, or immortals. I said I had not, and desired he would explain to me what he meant by such an appellation applied to a mortal

creature. He told me that sometimes, though very rarely, a child happened to be

born in a family with a red circular spot in the forehead, directly over the left eyebrow, which was an infallible mark that it should never die. The spot, as he

described it, was about the compass of a silver threepence, but in the course of

time grew larger, and changed its color; for at twelve years old it became green,

so continued till five-and-twenty, then turned to a deep blue; at five-and-forty it

grew coal-black, and as large as an English shilling, but never admitted any farther alteration. He said these births were so rare, that he did not believe there

could be above eleven hundred struldbrugs of both sexes in the whole kingdom,

of which he computed about fifty in the metropolis, and among the rest a young

girl born about three years ago; that these productions were not peculiar to any

family, but a mere effect of chance, and the children of the struldbrugs themselves were equally mortal with the rest of the people.

I freely own myself to have been struck with inexpressible delight upon

hearing this account; and the person who gave it me happening to understand the

Balnibarbian language, which I spoke very well, I could not forbear breaking out

into expressions perhaps a little too extravagant. I cried out, as in a rapture,

“Happy nation, where every child has at least a chance for being immortal!

Happy people, who enjoy so many living examples of ancient virtue, and have

masters ready to instruct them in the wisdom of all former ages! but happiest beyond all comparison are those excellent struldbrugs, who, born exempt from that universal calamity of human nature, have their minds free and disengaged,

without the weight and depression of spirits caused by the continual apprehension of death.” I discovered my admiration that I had not observed any

of these illustrious persons at court; the black spot on the forehead being so remarkable a distinction, that I could not have easily overlooked it; and it was impossible that his majesty, a most judicious prince, should not provide himself

with a good number of such wise and able counselors. Yet perhaps the virtue of

those reverend sages was too strict for the corrupt and libertine manners of a court; and we often find by experience, that young men are too opinionated and

volatile to be guided by the sober dictates of their seniors. However, since the king was pleased to allow me access to his royal person, I was resolved upon the

very first occasion, to deliver my opinion to him on this matter freely and at large, by the help of my interpreter; and whether he would please to take my advice or no, yet in one thing I was determined, that his majesty having

frequently offered me an establishment in this country, I would with great

thankfulness accept the favor, and pass my life here in the conversation of those

superior beings the struldbrugs, if they would please to admit me.

The gentleman to whom I addressed my discourse, because (as I have already

observed) he spoke the language of Balnibarbi, said to me with a sort of a smile

which usually arises from pity to the ignorant, that he was glad of any occasion

to keep me among them, and desired my permission to explain to the company

what I had spoken. He did so, and they talked together for some time in their own language, whereof I understood not a syllable, neither could I observe by their countenances what impression my discourse had made on them. After a

short silence, the same person told me that his friends and mine (so he thought fit

to express himself) were very much pleased with the judicious remarks I had

made on the great happiness and advantages of immortal life, and they were

desirous to know in a particular manner, what scheme of living I should have formed to myself if it had fallen to my lot to have been born a struldbrug.

I answered, it was easy to be eloquent on so copious and delightful a subject,

especially to me, who had been often apt to amuse myself with visions of what I

should do if I were a king, a general, or a great lord; and upon this very case I

had frequently run over the whole system how I should employ myself, and pass

the time, if I were sure to live forever.

That if it had been my good fortune to come into the world a struldbrug, as soon as I could discover my own happiness by understanding the difference

between life and death, I would first resolve, by all arts and methods whatsoever,

to procure myself riches; in the pursuit of which, by thrift and management, I

might reasonably expect in about two hundred years to be the wealthiest man in the kingdom. In the second place, I would from my earliest youth apply myself

to the study of arts and sciences, by which I should arrive in time to excel all others in learning. Lastly, I would carefully record every action and event of consequence that happened in the public, impartially draw the characters of the

several successions of princes and great ministers of state, with my own

observations on every point. I would exactly set down the several changes in customs, language, fashions of dress, diet, and diversions. By all which

acquirements I should be a living treasury of knowledge and wisdom, and

certainly become the oracle of the nation.

I would never marry after threescore, but live in a hospitable manner, yet still

on the saving side. I would entertain myself in forming and directing the minds

of hopeful young men, by convincing them from my own remembrance,

experience, and observation, fortified by numerous examples, of the usefulness

of virtue in public and private life. But my choice and constant companions

should be a set of my own immortal brotherhood, among whom I would elect a

dozen from the most ancient down to my own contemporaries. Where any of

these wanted fortunes, I would provide them with convenient lodges round my

own estate, and have some of them always at my table; only mingling a few of

the most valuable among you mortals, whom length of time would harden me to

lose with little or no reluctance, and treat your posterity after the same manner;

just as a man diverts himself with the annual succession of pinks and tulips in his

garden, without regretting the loss of those which withered the preceding year.

These struldbrugs and I would mutually communicate our observations and memorials, through the course of time; remark the several gradations by which

corruption steals into the world, and oppose it in every step, by giving perpetual

warning and instruction to mankind; which, added to the strong influence of our

own example, would probably prevent that continual degeneracy of human

nature so unjustly complained of in all ages.

Add to all this the pleasure of seeing the various revolutions of states and empires; the changes in the lower and upper world; ancient cities in ruins, and obscure villages become the seats of kings; famous rivers lessening into shallow

brooks; the ocean leaving one coast dry, and overwhelming another; the

discovery of many countries yet unknown; barbarity overrunning the politest

nations, and the most barbarous become civilized. I should then see the

discovery of the longitude, the perpetual motion, the universal medicine, and

many other great inventions brought to the utmost perfection.

What wonderful discoveries should we make in astronomy, by outliving and confirming our own predictions; by observing the progress and returns of

comets, with the changes of motion in the sun, moon, and stars!

I enlarged upon many other topics which the natural desire of endless life and

sublunary happiness could easily furnish me with. When I had ended, and the

sum of my discourse had been interpreted as before, to the rest of the company,

there was a good deal of talk among them in the language of the country, not without some laughter at my expense. At last the same gentleman who had been

my interpreter said he was desired by the rest to set me right in a few mistakes

which I had fallen into through the common imbecility of human nature, and

upon that allowance was less answerable for them. That this breed of struldbrugs

was peculiar to their country, for there were no such people either in Balnibarbi

or Japan, where he had the honor to be ambassador from his majesty, and found

the natives in both those kingdoms very hard to believe that the fact was

possible, and it appeared from my astonishment when he first mentioned the

matter to me, that I received it as a thing wholly new, and scarcely to be credited.

That in the two kingdoms above mentioned, where during his residence he had

conversed very much, he observed long life to be the universal desire and wish

of mankind. That whoever had one foot in the grave was sure to hold back the

other as strongly as he could. That the oldest had still hopes of living one day longer, and looked on death as the greatest evil, from which nature always

prompted him to retreat. Only in this island of Luggnagg the appetite for living

was not so eager, from the continual example of the struldbrugs before their eyes.

That the system of living contrived by me was unreasonable and unjust,

because it supposed a perpetuity of youth, health, and vigor, which no man could

be so foolish to hope, however extravagant he may be in his wishes. That the question therefore was not whether a man would choose to be always in the

prime of youth, attended with prosperity and health, but how he would pass a perpetual life under all the usual disadvantages which old age brings along with

it. For although few men will avow their desires of being immortal upon such hard conditions, yet in the two kingdoms before mentioned, of Balnibarbi and

Japan, he observed that every man desired to put off death for some time longer,

let it approach ever so late; and he rarely heard of any man who died willingly,

except he were incited by the extremity of grief or torture. And he appealed to

me, whether in those countries I had traveled, as well as my own, I had not observed the same general disposition.

After this preface, he gave me a particular account of the struldbrugs among them. He said they commonly acted like mortals till about thirty years old; after

which, by degrees, they grew melancholy and dejected, increasing in both till they came to fourscore. This he learned from their own confession; for

otherwise, there not being above two or three of that species born in an age, they

were too few to form a general observation by. When they came to fourscore

years, which is reckoned the extremity of living in this country, they had not only all the follies and infirmities of other old men, but many more which arose

from the dreadful prospect of never dying. They were not only opinionative,

peevish, covetous, morose, vain, talkative, but incapable of friendship, and dead

to all natural affection, which never descended below their grandchildren. Envy

and impotent desires are their prevailing passions. But those objects against

which their envy seems principally directed, are the vices of the younger sort, and the deaths of the old. By reflecting on the former, they find themselves cut

off from all possibility of pleasure; and whenever they see a funeral they lament

and repine that others are gone to a harbor of rest, to which they themselves never can hope to arrive. They have no remembrance of anything but what they

learned and observed in their youth and middle age, and even that is very

imperfect; and for the truth or particulars of any fact it is safer to depend on common traditions than upon their best recollections. The least miserable among

them appear to be those who turn to dotage, and entirely lose their memories; these meet with more pity and assistance, because they want many bad qualities

which abound in others.

If a struldbrug happen to marry one of his own kind, the marriage is dissolved

of course by the courtesy of the kingdom, as soon as the younger of the two comes to be fourscore; for the law thinks it a reasonable indulgence, that those

who are condemned without any fault of their own to a perpetual continuance in

the world, should not have their misery doubled by the load of a wife.

As soon as they have completed the term of eighty years, they are looked on

as dead in law; their heirs immediately succeed to their estates, only a small pittance is reserved for their support, and the poor ones are maintained at the public charge. After that period they are held incapable of any employment of trust or profit; they cannot purchase lands or take leases; neither are they allowed

to be witnesses in any cause, either civil or criminal, not even for the decision of

meres and bounds.

At ninety they lose their teeth and hair; they have at that age no distinction of

taste, but eat and drink whatever they can get, without relish or appetite. The

diseases they were subject to still continue, without increasing or diminishing. In talking they forget the common appellation of things, and the names of persons,

even of those who are their nearest friends and relations. For the same reason, they never can amuse themselves with reading, because their memory will not

serve to carry them from the beginning of a sentence to the end; and by this defect they are deprived of the only entertainment whereof they might otherwise

be capable.

The language of this country being always upon the flux, the struldbrugs of one age do not understand those of another; neither are they able after two hundred years to hold any conversation (farther than by a few general words) with their neighbors the mortals; and thus they lie under the disadvantage of living like foreigners in their own country.

This was the account given me of the struldbrugs, as near as I can remember. I

afterwards saw five or six of different ages, the youngest not above two hundred

years old, who were brought to me at several times by some of my friends; but

although they were told that I was a great traveler and had seen all the world, they had not the least curiosity to ask me a question; only desired I would give

them slumskudask, or a token of remembrance, which is a modest way of begging, to avoid the law that strictly forbids it, because they are provided for by

the public, although indeed with a very scanty allowance.

They are despised and hated by all sorts of people. When one of them is born

it is reckoned ominous, and their birth is recorded very particularly; so that you

may know their age by consulting the registry, which however has not been kept

above a thousand years past, or at least has been destroyed by time or public disturbances. But the usual way of computing how old they are, is by asking them what kings or great persons they can remember, and then consulting

history; for infallibly the last prince in their mind did not begin his reign after they were fourscore years old.

They were the most mortifying sight I ever beheld; and the women were more

horrible than the men. Besides the usual deformities in extreme old age, they acquired an additional ghastliness in proportion to their number of years, which

is not to be described; and among half a dozen, I soon distinguished which was

the eldest, although there was not above a century or two between them.

The reader will easily believe, that from what I had heard and seen, my keen

appetite for perpetuity of life was much abated. I grew heartily ashamed of the

pleasing visions I had formed, and thought no tyrant could invent a death into

which I would not run with pleasure from such a life. The king heard of all that

had passed between me and my friends upon this occasion, and rallied me very

pleasantly, wishing I would send a couple of struldbrugs to my own country, to

arm our people against the fear of death; but this, it seems, is forbidden by the

fundamental laws of the kingdom, or else I should have been well content with

the trouble and expense of transporting them.

I could not but agree that the laws of this kingdom relative to the struldbrugs

were founded upon the strongest reasons, and such as any other country would

be under the necessity of enacting in the like circumstances. Otherwise, as

avarice is the necessary consequent of old age, those immortals would in time become proprietors of the whole nation, and engross the civil power, which, for

want of abilities to manage, must end in the ruin of the public.

CHAPTER XI

THE AUTHOR LEAVES LUGGNAGG AND SAILS TO JAPAN—FROM THENCE HE RETURNS

IN A DUTCH SHIP TO AMSTERDAM, AND FROM AMSTERDAM TO ENGLAND.

I thought this account of the struldbrugs might be some entertainment to the

reader, because it seems to be a little out of the common way; at least I do not

remember to have met the like in any book of travels that has come to my hands.

And if I am deceived, my excuse must be, that it is necessary for travelers who

describe the same country, very often to agree in dwelling on the same

particulars, without deserving the censure of having borrowed or transcribed

from those who wrote before them.

There is indeed a perpetual commerce between this kingdom and the great

empire of Japan, and it is very probable that the Japanese authors may have given some account of the struldbrugs; but my stay in Japan was so short, and I

was so entirely a stranger to that language, that I was not qualified to make any

inquiries. But I hope the Dutch, upon this notice, will be curious and able enough to supply my defects.

His majesty having often pressed me to accept some employment in his court,

and finding me absolutely determined to return to my native country, was

pleased to give me his license to depart, and honored me with a letter of

recommendation under his own hand, to the Emperor of Japan. He likewise

presented me with four hundred and forty-four large pieces of gold (this nation

delighting in even numbers), and a red diamond which I sold in England for

eleven hundred pounds.

On the sixth of May, 1709, I took a solemn leave of his majesty and all my friends. This prince was so gracious as to order a guard to conduct me to

Glanguenstald, which is a royal port to the southwest part of the island. In six days I found a vessel ready to carry me to Japan, and spent fifteen days in the voyage. We landed at a small port town called Xamoschi, situated on the

southeast part of Japan; the town lies on the western point, where there is a narrow strait leading northward into a long arm of the sea, upon the northwest part of which Yedo, the metropolis, stands. At landing I showed the customhouse

officers my letter from the king of Luggnagg to his imperial majesty. They knew

the seal perfectly well; it was as broad as the palm of my hand. The impression

was a king lifting up a lame beggar from the earth. The magistrates of the town,

hearing of my letter, received me as a public minister; they provided me with carriages and servants, and bore my charges to Yedo, where I was admitted to an

audience, and delivered my letter, which was opened with great ceremony, and

explained to the emperor by an interpreter, who then gave me notice, by his majesty’s order, that I should signify my request, and whatever it were, it should

be granted for the sake of his royal brother of Luggnagg. This interpreter was a

person employed to transact affairs with the Hollanders; he soon conjectured by

my countenance, that I was a European, and therefore repeated his majesty’s

commands in Low Dutch, which he spoke perfectly well. I answered, as I had

before determined, that I was a Dutch merchant, shipwrecked in a remote

country, whence I traveled by sea and land to Luggnagg, and then took shipping

for Japan, where I knew my countrymen often traded, and with some of these I

hoped to get an opportunity of returning into Europe. I therefore most humbly entreated his royal favor, to give order that I should be conducted in safety to Nangasac. To this I added another petition, that for the sake of my patron the king of Luggnagg his majesty would condescend to excuse my performing the

ceremony imposed on my countrymen of trampling upon the crucifix, because I

had been thrown into his kingdom by my misfortunes, without any intention of

trading. When this latter petition was interpreted to the emperor, he seemed a little surprised, and said he believed I was the first of my countrymen who ever

made any scruple in this point, and that he began to doubt whether I was a real

Hollander or no; but rather suspected that I must be a Christian. However, for the

reasons I had offered, but chiefly to gratify the king of Luggnagg by an

uncommon mark of his favor, he would comply with the singularity of my

humor; but the affair must be managed with dexterity, and his officers should be

commanded to let me pass as it were by forgetfulness; for he assured me that if

the secret should be discovered by my countrymen, the Dutch, they would cut

my throat on the voyage. I returned my thanks, by the interpreter, for so unusual

a favor; and some troops being at that time on the march to Nangasac, the

commanding officer had orders to convey me safe thither, with particular

instructions about the business of the crucifix.

On the 9th day of June, 1709, I arrived at Nangasac, after a very long and troublesome journey. I soon fell into company of some Dutch sailors belonging

to the Amboyna of Amsterdam, a stout ship of 450 tons. I had lived long in Holland, pursuing my studies at Leyden, and I spoke Dutch well. The seamen

soon knew whence I came last; they were curious to inquire into my voyages and

course of life. I made up a story as short and probable as I could, but concealed

the greatest part. I knew many persons in Holland; I was able to invent names for

my parents, whom I pretended to be obscure people in the province of Gelderland. I would have given the captain (one Theodorus Vangrult) what he

pleased to ask for my voyage to Holland; but understanding I was a surgeon, he

was contented to take half the usual rate, on condition that I would serve him in

the way of my calling. Before we took ship, I was often asked by some of the crew whether I had performed the ceremony above mentioned. I evaded the

question by general answers that I had satisfied the emperor and court in all particulars. However, a malicious rogue of a skipper went to an officer, and pointing to me, told him I had not yet trampled on the crucifix; but the other, who had received instructions to let me pass, gave the rascal twenty strokes on

the shoulders with a bamboo; after which I was no more troubled with such

questions.

Nothing happened worth mentioning in this voyage. We sailed with a fair

wind to the Cape of Good Hope, where we stayed only to take in fresh water. On

the 16th of April we arrived safe at Amsterdam, having lost only three men by

sickness in the voyage, and a fourth who fell from the foremast into the sea, not

far from the coast of Guinea. From Amsterdam I soon after set sail for England,

in a small vessel belonging to that city.

On the 10th of April, 1710, we put in at the Downs. I landed the next morning,

and saw once more my native country, after an absence of five years and six months complete. I went straight to Redriff, where I arrived the same day at two

in the afternoon, and found my wife and family in good health.

THE END OF THE THIRD PART.

A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE

HOUYHNHNMS

CHAPTER I

THE AUTHOR SETS OUT AS CAPTAIN OF A SHIP—HIS MEN CONSPIRE AGAINST HIM,

CONFINE HIM A LONG TIME TO HIS CABIN, AND SET HIM ON SHORE IN AN

UNKNOWN LAND—HE TRAVELS UP IN THE COUNTRY—THE YAHOOS, A STRANGE

SORT OF ANIMAL, DESCRIBED—THE AUTHOR MEETS TWO HOUYHNHNMS.

I continued at home with my wife and children about five months in a very

happy condition, if I could have learned the lesson of knowing when I was well.

I left my poor wife big with child, and accepted an advantageous offer made me

to be captain of the Adventure, a stout merchantman of 350 tons: for I

understood navigation well, and being grown weary of a surgeon’s employment

at sea, which, however, I could exercise upon occasion, I took a skillful young

man of that calling, one Robert Purefoy, into my ship. We set sail from

Portsmouth upon the 7th day of August, 1710; on the 14th, we met with Captain

Pocock of Bristol, at Tenerife, who was going to the bay of Campeachy to cut logwood. On the 16th, he was parted from us by a storm: I heard since my

return, that his ship foundered, and none escaped but one cabin-boy. He was an

honest man, and a good sailor, but a little too positive in his own opinions; which

was the cause of his destruction, as it has been of several others: for if he had followed my advice, he might have been safe at home with his family at this time as well as myself.

I had several men died in my ship of calentures, so that I was forced to get recruits out of Barbadoes and the Leeward Islands, where I touched by the

direction of the merchants who employed me; which I had soon too much cause

to repent; for I found afterwards that most of them had been buccaneers. I had fifty hands on board, and my orders were, that I should trade with the Indians in

the South Sea, and make what discoveries I could. These rogues whom I had

picked up debauched my other men, and they all formed a conspiracy to seize the ship and secure me; which they did one morning, rushing into my cabin, and

binding me hand and foot, threatening to throw me overboard if I offered to stir.

I told them I was their prisoner and would submit. This they made me swear to

do, and then they unbound me, only fastening one of my legs with a chain, near

my bed, and placed a sentry at my door with his piece charged, who was

commanded to shoot me dead, if I attempted my liberty. They sent me down

victuals and drink, and took the government of the ship to themselves. Their design was to turn pirates, and plunder the Spaniards, which they could not do till they got more men. But first they resolved to sell the goods in the ship, and

then go to Madagascar for recruits, several among them having died since my confinement. They sailed many weeks, and traded with the Indians; but I knew

not what course they took, being kept a close prisoner in my cabin, and

expecting nothing less than to be murdered, as they often threatened me.

Upon the 9th of May, 1711, one James Welch came down to my cabin, and

said he had orders from the captain to set me ashore. I expostulated with him, but in vain; neither would he so much as tell me who their new captain was.

They forced me into the longboat, letting me put on my best suit of clothes, which were as good as new, and take a small bundle of linen, but no arms except

my hanger; and they were so civil as not to search my pockets, into which I conveyed what money I had, with some other little necessaries. They rowed

about a league, and then set me down on a strand. I desired them to tell me what

country it was. They all swore they knew no more than myself, but said that the

captain (as they called him) was resolved, after they had sold the lading, to get

rid of me in the first place where they could discover land. They pushed off immediately, advising me to make haste for fear of being overtaken by the tide,

and so bade me farewell.

In this desolate condition I advanced, and soon got upon firm ground, where I

sat down on a bank to rest myself, and consider what I had best to do. When I

was a little refreshed, I went up into the country, resolving to deliver myself to

the first savages I should meet, and purchase my life from them by some

bracelets, glass rings, and other toys which sailors usually provide themselves with in those voyages, and whereof I had some about me. The land was divided

by long rows of trees, not regularly planted, but naturally growing; there was great plenty of grass, and several fields of oats. I walked very circumspectly, for

fear of being surprised, or suddenly shot with an arrow from behind or on either

side. I fell into a beaten road, where I saw many tracks of human feet, and some

of cows, but most of horses. At last I beheld several animals in a field, and one

or two of the same kind sitting in trees. Their shape was very singular and deformed, which a little discomposed me, so that I lay down behind a thicket to

observe them better. Some of them coming forward near the place where I lay,

gave me an opportunity of distinctly marking their form. Their heads and breasts

were covered with a thick hair, some frizzled and others lank; they had beards like goats, and a long ridge of hair down their backs, and the foreparts of their

legs and feet; but the rest of their bodies was bare, so that I might see their skins,

which were of a brown buff color. They had no tails, and used the sitting posture,

as well as lying down, and often stood on their hind feet. They climbed high trees as nimbly as a squirrel, for they had strong extended claws before and

behind, terminating in sharp points, and hooked. They would often spring, and bound, and leap, with prodigious agility. The females were not so large as the males; they had long lank hair on their backs, but none on their faces, nor anything more than a sort of down on the rest of their bodies. The hair of both

sexes was of several colors, brown, red, black, and yellow. Upon the whole I never beheld in all my travels so disagreeable an animal, nor one against which I

naturally conceived so strong an antipathy; so that thinking I had seen enough, full of contempt and aversion, I got up, and pursued the beaten road, hoping it might direct me to the cabin of some Indian. I had not gone far when I met one

of these creatures full in my way, and coming up directly to me. The ugly

monster, when he saw me, distorted several ways every feature of his visage, and

stared as at an object he had never seen before; then approaching nearer, lifted up his forepaw, whether out of curiosity or mischief I could not tell; but I drew

my hanger, and gave him a good blow with the flat side of it, for I durst not strike him with the edge, fearing the inhabitants might be provoked against me,

if they should come to know that I had killed or maimed any of their cattle.

When the beast felt the smart, he drew back, and roared so loud, that a herd of at

least forty came flocking about me from the next field, howling and making

odious faces; but I ran to the body of a tree, and leaning my back against it, kept

them off by waving my hanger.

In the midst of this distress, I observed all to run away on a sudden as fast as

they could; at which I ventured to leave the tree and pursue the road, wondering

what it was that could put them into this fright. But looking on my left hand I saw a horse walking softly in the field; which my persecutors having sooner

discovered, was the cause of their flight. The horse started a little when he came

near me, but soon recovering himself, looked full in my face with manifest

tokens of wonder. He viewed my hands and feet, walking round me several

times. I would have pursued my journey, but he placed himself directly in the way, yet looking with a very mild aspect, never offering the least violence. We

stood gazing at each other for some time; at last I took the boldness to reach my

hand towards his neck with a design to stroke it, using the common style and whistle of jockeys when they are going to handle a strange horse. But this animal

seeming to receive my civilities with disdain, shook his head, and bent his

brows, softly raising up his right forefoot to remove my hand. Then he neighed

three or four times, but in so different a cadence, that I almost began to think he

was speaking to himself in some language of his own.

While he and I were thus employed, another horse came up; who applying

himself to the first in a very formal manner, they gently struck each other’s right

hoof before, neighing several times by turns, and varying the sound, which seemed to be almost articulate. They went some paces off, as if it were to confer

together, walking side by side, backwards and forwards, like persons

deliberating upon some affair of weight, but often turning their eyes towards me,

as it were to watch that I might not escape. I was amazed to see such actions and

behavior in brute beasts; and concluded with myself, that if the inhabitants of this country were indued with a proportionable degree of reason, they must

needs be the wisest people upon earth. This thought gave me so much comfort,

that I resolved to go forward until I could discover some house or village, or meet with any of the natives, leaving the two horses to discourse together as they

pleased. But the first, who was a dapple gray, observing me to steal off, neighed

after me in so expressive a tone, that I fancied myself to understand what he meant; whereupon I turned back, and came near him, to expect his farther

commands, but concealing my fear as much as I could; for I began to be in some

pain how this adventure might terminate; and the reader will easily believe I did

not much like my present situation.

The two horses came up close to me, looking with great earnestness upon my

face and hands. The gray steed rubbed my hat all round with his right forehoof,

and discomposed it so much that I was forced to adjust it better by taking it off,

and settling it again; whereat both he and his companion (who was a brown bay)

appeared to be much surprised; the latter felt the lappet of my coat, and finding it

to hang loose about me, they both looked with new signs of wonder. He stroked

my right hand, seeming to admire the softness and color; but he squeezed it so

hard between his hoof and his pastern, that I was forced to roar; after which they

both touched me with all possible tenderness. They were under great perplexity

about my shoes and stockings, which they felt very often, neighing to each other,

and using various gestures, not unlike those of a philosopher, when he would attempt to solve some new and difficult phenomenon.

Upon the whole, the behavior of these animals was so orderly and rational, so

acute and judicious, that I at last concluded they must needs be magicians, who

had thus metamorphosed themselves upon some design, and seeing a stranger in

the way, were resolved to divert themselves with him; or perhaps were really amazed at the sight of a man so very different in habit, feature, and complexion,

from those who might probably live in so remote a climate. Upon the strength of

this reasoning I ventured to address them in the following manner: “Gentlemen,

if you be conjurors, as I have good cause to believe, you can understand any language; therefore I make bold to let your worships know that I am a poor distressed Englishman, driven by his misfortunes upon your coast; and I entreat

one of you to let me ride upon his back, as if he were a real horse, to some house or village where I can be relieved. In return of which favor, I will make you a present of this knife and bracelet” (taking them out of my pocket). The two creatures stood silent while I spoke, seeming to listen with great attention; and when I had ended, they neighed frequently towards each other, as if they were engaged in serious conversation. I plainly observed that their language expressed

the passions very well, and the words might, with little pains, be resolved into an

alphabet more easily than the Chinese.

I could frequently distinguish the word yahoo, which was repeated by each of

them several times; and although it was impossible for me to conjecture what it

meant, yet, while the two horses were busy in conversation, I endeavored to

practice this word upon my tongue; and as soon as they were silent, boldly

pronounced yahoo in a loud voice, imitating at the same time, as near as I could, the neighing of a horse; at which they were both visibly surprised and the gray

repeated the same word twice, as if he meant to teach me the right accent, wherein I spoke after him as well as I could, and found myself perceivably to improve every time, though very far from any degree of perfection. Then the bay

tried me with a second word, much harder to be pronounced; but reducing it to

the English orthography may be spelt thus—Houyhnhnm. I did not succeed in

this so well as the former; but after two or three farther trials, I had better fortune, and they both appeared amazed at my capacity.

After some farther discourse, which I then conjectured might relate to me, the

two friends took their leaves, with the same compliment of striking each other’s

hoof; and the gray made me signs that I should walk before him, wherein I

thought it prudent to comply, till I could find a better director. When I offered to

slacken my pace, he would cry, Hhuun, hhuun. I guessed his meaning and gave

him to understand, as well as I could, that I was weary, and not able to walk faster; upon which he would stand awhile to let me rest.

CHAPTER II

THE AUTHOR CONDUCTED BY A HOUYHNHNM TO HIS HOUSE—THE HOUSE

DESCRIBED—THE AUTHOR’S RECEPTION—THE FOOD OF THE HOUYHNHNMS—

THE AUTHOR IN DISTRESS FOR WANT OF MEAT, IS AT LAST RELIEVED—HIS

MANNER OF FEEDING IN THIS COUNTRY.

Having traveled about three miles, we came to a long kind of building, made

of timber stuck in the ground, and wattled across; the roof was low, and covered

with straw. I now began to be a little comforted, and took out some toys which

travelers usually carry for presents to the savage Indians of America and other parts, in hopes the people of the house would be thereby encouraged to receive

me kindly. The horse made me a sign to go in first; it was a large room with a

smooth clay floor, and a rack and manger extending the whole length on one

side. There were three nags and two mares, not eating, but some of them sitting

down upon their hams, which I very much wondered at; but wondered more to

see the rest employed in domestic business. They seemed but ordinary cattle;

however, this confirmed my first opinion, that a people who could so far civilize

brute animals must needs excel in wisdom all the nations of the world. The gray

came in just after, and thereby prevented any ill treatment which the others might

have given me. He neighed to them several times in a style of authority, and received answers.

Beyond this room there were three others, reaching the length of the house, to

which you passed through three doors, opposite to each other, in the manner of a

vista; we went through the second room towards the third. Here the gray walked

in first, beckoning me to attend; I waited in the second room, and got ready my

presents for the master and mistress of the house; they were two knives, three bracelets of false pearl, a small looking-glass, and a bead necklace. The horse neighed three or four times, and I waited to hear some answers in a human voice,

but I heard no other returns than in the same dialect, only one or two a little shriller than his. I began to think that this house must belong to some person of

great note among them, because there appeared so much ceremony before I

could gain admittance. But, that a man of quality should be served all by horses

was beyond my comprehension. I feared my brain was disturbed by my

sufferings and misfortunes: I roused myself, and looked about me in the room where I was left alone; this was furnished like the first, only after a more elegant

manner. I rubbed my eyes often, but the same objects still occurred. I pinched my arms and sides to awake myself, hoping I might be in a dream. I then

absolutely concluded that all these appearances could be nothing else but necromancy and magic. But I had no time to pursue these reflections; for the gray horse came to the door, and made me a sign to follow him into the third room, where I saw a very comely mare, together with a colt and foal, sitting on

their haunches upon mats of straw, not unartfully made and perfectly neat and clean.

The mare soon after my entrance rose from her mat, and coming up close,

after having nicely observed my hands and face, gave me a most contemptuous

look; then turning to the horse, I heard the word yahoo often repeated betwixt them; the meaning of which word I could not then comprehend, although it were

the first I had learned to pronounce; but I was soon better informed, to my everlasting mortification; for the horse beckoning to me with his head, and

repeating the hhuun, hhuun, as he did upon the road, which I understood was to

attend him, led me out into a kind of court, where was another building at some

distance from the house. Here we entered, and I saw three of these detestable creatures, whom I first met after my landing, feeding upon roots, and the flesh of

some animals, which I afterwards found to be that of asses and dogs, and now and then a cow, dead by accident or disease. They were all tied by the neck with

strong withes fastened to a beam; they held their food between the claws of their

forefeet, and tore it with their teeth.

The master horse ordered a sorrel nag, one of his servants, to untie the largest

of these animals, and take him into the yard. The beast and I were brought close

together, and our countenances diligently compared both by master and servant,

who thereupon repeated several times the word yahoo. My horror and

astonishment are not to be described, when I observed in this abominable

animal, a perfect human figure; the face of it indeed was flat and broad, the nose

depressed, the lips large, and the mouth wide; but these differences are common

to all savage nations, where the lineaments of the countenance are distorted by the natives suffering their infants to lie groveling on the earth, or by carrying them on their backs, nuzzling with their faces against the mother’s shoulders.

The forefoot of the yahoo differed from my hands in nothing else but the length

of the nails, the coarseness and brownness of the palms, and the hairiness on the

backs. There was the same resemblance between our feet, with the same

differences, which I knew very well, though the horses did not, because of my shoes and stockings; the same in every part of our bodies, except as to hairiness

and color, which I have already described.

The great difficulty that seemed to stick with the two horses, was to see the

rest of my body so very different from that of a yahoo, for which I was obliged to my clothes, whereof they had no conception. The sorrel nag offered me a root,

which he held (after their manner, which we shall describe in its proper place) between his hoof and pastern; I took it in my hand, and having smelt it, returned

it to him again as civilly as I could. He brought out of the yahoo’s kennel a piece of ass’s flesh, but it smelt so offensively that I turned from it with loathing; he

then threw it to the yahoo, by whom it was greedily devoured. He afterwards showed me a wisp of hay, and a fetlock full of oats; but I shook my head, to signify that neither of these were food for me. And indeed I now apprehended that I must absolutely starve, if I did not get to some of my own species; for as to

those filthy yahoos, although there were few greater lovers of mankind at that time than myself, yet I confess I never saw any sensitive being so detestable on

all accounts; and the more I came near them the more hateful they grew, while I

stayed in that country. This the master horse observed by my behavior, and

therefore sent the yahoo back to his kennel. He then put his forehoof to his mouth, at which I was much surprised, although he did it with ease, and with a

motion that appeared perfectly natural; and made other signs to know what I

would eat; but I could not return him such an answer as he was able to

apprehend; and if he had understood me, I did not see how I was possibly to contrive any way for finding myself nourishment. While we were thus engaged,

I observed a cow passing by, whereupon I pointed to her, and expressed a desire

to go and milk her. This had its effect; for he led me back into the house, and ordered a mare-servant to open a room, where a good store of milk lay in earthen

and wooden vessels, after a very orderly and cleanly manner. She gave me a

large bowlful, of which I drank very heartily, and found myself well refreshed.

“I saw coming towards the house a kind of vehicle drawn like a sledge by four yahoos”

Page 261

About noon, I saw coming towards the house a kind of vehicle drawn like a

sledge by four yahoos. There was in it an old steed, who seemed to be of quality; he alighted with his hindfeet forward, having by accident got hurt in his left forefoot. He came to dine with our horse, who received him with great civility.

They dined in the best room, and had oats boiled in milk for the second course,

which the old horse ate warm, but the rest cold. Their mangers were placed circular in the middle of the room, and divided into several partitions, round which they sat on their haunches, upon bosses of straw. In the middle was a large

rack, with angles answering to every partition of the manger; so that each horse

and mare ate their own hay, and their own mash of oats and milk, with much decency and regularity. The behavior of the young colt and foal appeared very modest, and that of the master and mistress extremely cheerful and complaisant

to their guest. The gray ordered me to stand by him; and much discourse passed

between him and his friend concerning me, as I found by the stranger’s often looking on me, and the frequent repetition of the word yahoo.

I happened to wear my gloves, which the master gray observing, seemed

perplexed, discovering signs of wonder what I had done to my forefeet; he put

his hoof three or four times to them, as if he would signify that I should reduce

them to their former shape, which I presently did, pulling off both my gloves, and putting them into my pocket.

This occasioned farther talk, and I saw the company was pleased with my

behavior, whereof I soon found the good effects. I was ordered to speak the few

words I understood; and while they were at dinner, the master taught me the names for oats, milk, fire, water, and some others; which I could readily

pronounce after him, having from my youth a great facility for learning

languages.

When dinner was done, the master horse took me aside, and by signs and

words made me understand the concern he was in that I had nothing to eat. Oats

in their tongue are called hluunh. This word I pronounced two or three times; for although I had refused them at first, yet upon second thoughts I considered that I

could contrive to make of them a kind of bread, which might be sufficient, with

milk, to keep me alive, till I could make my escape to some other country, and to

creatures of my own species. The horse immediately ordered a white mare-

servant of his family to bring me a good quantity of oats in a sort of wooden tray.

These I heated before the fire, as well as I could, and rubbed them till the husks

came off, which I made a shift to winnow from the grain: I ground and beat them

between two stones, then took water, and made them into a kind of paste or cake,

which I toasted at the fire, and ate warm with milk. It was at first a very insipid

diet, though common enough in many parts of Europe, but grew tolerable by

time; and having been often reduced to hard fare in my life, this was not the first

experiment I had made how easily nature is satisfied. And I cannot but observe,

that I never had one hour’s sickness while I stayed in this island. ’Tis true I

sometimes made a shift to catch a rabbit or bird, by springs made of yahoo’s hairs; and I often gathered wholesome herbs, which I boiled or ate as salads with

my bread; and now and then, for a rarity, I made a little butter and drank the whey. I was at first at a great loss for salt, but custom soon reconciled me to the

want of it; and I am confident that the frequent use of salt among us is an effect

of luxury, and was first introduced as a provocative to drink, except where it is

necessary for preserving of flesh in long voyages, or in places remote from great

markets: for we observe no animal to be fond of it but man; and as to myself, when I left this country, it was a great while before I could endure the taste of it

in anything that I ate.

This is enough to say upon the subject of my diet, wherewith other travelers

fill their books, as if the readers were personally concerned whether we fared well or ill. However, it was necessary to mention this matter, lest the world should think it impossible that I could find sustenance for three years in such a

country, and among such inhabitants.

When it grew towards evening, the master horse ordered a place for me to

lodge in; it was but six yards from the house, and separated from the stable of the yahoos. Here I got some straw, and covering myself with my own clothes, slept very sound. But I was in a very short time better accommodated, as the reader shall know hereafter, when I come to treat more particularly about my way of living.

CHAPTER III

THE AUTHOR STUDIOUS TO LEARN THE LANGUAGE—THE HOUYHNHNM HIS MASTER

ASSISTS

IN

TEACHING

HIM—THE

LANGUAGE

DESCRIBED—SEVERAL

HOUYHNHNMS OF QUALITY COME OUT OF CURIOSITY TO SEE THE AUTHOR—HE

GIVES HIS MASTER A SHORT ACCOUNT OF HIS VOYAGE.

My principal endeavor was to learn the language, which my master (for so I

shall henceforth call him) and his children, and every servant of his house, were

desirous to teach me; for they looked upon it as a prodigy that a brute animal should discover such marks of a rational creature. I pointed to everything, and inquired the name of it, which I wrote down in my journal book when I was alone, and corrected my bad accent, by desiring those of the family to pronounce

it often. In this employment, a sorrel nag, one of the under servants, was ready to

assist me.

In speaking, they pronounce through the nose and throat, and their language

approaches nearest to the High Dutch or German, of any I know in Europe; but it

is much more graceful and significant. The emperor Charles V. made almost the

same observation when he said that if he were to speak to his horse, it should be

in High Dutch.

The curiosity and impatience of my master were so great that he spent many

hours of his leisure to instruct me. He was convinced (as he afterwards told me)

that I must be a yahoo, but my teachableness, civility, and cleanliness, astonished him; which were qualities altogether so opposite to those animals. He was most

perplexed about my clothes, reasoning sometimes with himself, whether they

were a part of my body; for I never pulled them off till the family were asleep,

and got them on before they waked in the morning. My master was eager to

learn whence I came; how I acquired those appearances of reason which I

discovered in all my actions; and to know my story from my own mouth, which

he hoped he should soon do by the great proficiency I made in learning and pronouncing their words and sentences. To help my memory, I formed all I

learned in the English alphabet, and wrote the words down, with the translations.

This last, after some time, I ventured to do in my master’s presence. It cost me

much trouble to explain to him what I was doing; for the inhabitants have not the

least idea of books or literature.

In about ten weeks’ time I was able to understand most of his questions; and in

three months could give him some tolerable answers. He was extremely curious

to know from what part of the country I came, and how I was taught to imitate a rational creature; because the yahoos (whom he saw I exactly resembled in my

head, hands and face, that were only visible), with some appearance of cunning,

and the strongest disposition to mischief, were observed to be the most

unteachable of all brutes, I answered that I came over the sea from a far place,

with many others of my own kind, in a great hollow vessel made of the bodies of

trees; that my companions forced me to land on this coast, and then left me to shift for myself. It was with some difficulty, and by the help of many signs, that I

brought him to understand me. He replied, that I must needs be mistaken, or that

I said the thing which was not. (For they have no word in their language to express lying or falsehood.) He knew it was impossible that there could be a country beyond the sea, or that a parcel of brutes could move a wooden vessel

whither they pleased upon water. He was sure no Houyhnhnm alive could make

such a vessel, nor would trust yahoos to manage it.

The word Houyhnhnm, in their tongue, signifies a horse, and, in its

etymology, the perfection of nature. I told my master that I was at a loss for expression, but would improve as fast as I could; and hoped in a short time I should be able to tell him wonders. He was pleased to direct his own mare, his

colt and foal, and the servants of the family, to take all opportunities of instructing me; and every day, for two or three hours, he was at the same pains

himself; several horses and mares of quality in the neighborhood came often to

our house upon the report spread of a wonderful yahoo, that could speak like a

Houyhnhnm, and seemed in his words and actions to discover some glimmerings

of reason. These delighted to converse with me; they put many questions and

received such answers as I was able to return. By all these advantages I made so

great a progress, that in five months from my arrival, I understood whatever was

spoken, and could express myself tolerably well.

The Houyhnhnms who came to visit my master out of a design of seeing and

talking with me, could hardly believe me to be a right yahoo, because my body

had a different covering from others of my kind. They were astonished to

observe me without the usual hair or skin, except on my head, face, and hands;

but I discovered that secret to my master upon an accident which happened

about a fortnight before.

I have already told the reader, that every night, when the family were gone to

bed, it was my custom to strip, and cover myself with my clothes: it happened

one morning early, that my master sent for me by the sorrel nag, who was his valet; when he came I was fast asleep, my clothes fallen off on one side, and my

shirt above my waist. I awaked at the noise he made, and observed him to deliver his message in some disorder; after which he went to my master, and in a

great fright gave him a very confused account of what he had seen. This I

presently discovered; for going as soon as I was dressed to pay attendance upon

his honor, he asked me the meaning of what his servant had reported, that I was

not the same thing when I slept as I appeared to be at other times.

I had hitherto concealed the secret of my dress, in order to distinguish myself

as much as possible from that cursed race of yahoos; but now I found it in vain

to do so any longer. Besides, I considered that my clothes and shoes would soon

wear out, which already were in a declining condition, and must be supplied by

some contrivance from the hides of yahoos or other brutes; whereby the whole secret would be known. I therefore told my master that in the country whence I

came, those of my kind always covered their bodies with the hairs of certain animals prepared by art, as well for decency as to avoid the inclemencies of air,

both hot and cold; of which, as to my own person, I would give him immediate

conviction, if he pleased to command me. Whereupon I first unbuttoned my

coat, and pulled it off. I did the same with my waistcoat. I drew off my shoes,

stockings, and breeches.

My master observed the whole performance with great signs of curiosity and

admiration. He took up all my clothes in his pastern, one piece after another, and

examined them diligently; he then stroked my body very gently, and looked

round me several times; after which he said, it was plain I must be a perfect yahoo; but that I differed very much from the rest of my species, in the softness, whiteness, and smoothness of my skin; my want of hair on several parts of my

body; the shape and shortness of my claws behind and before; and my

affectation of walking continually on my two hinder feet. He desired to see no more; and gave me leave to put on my clothes again, for I was shuddering with

cold.

I expressed my uneasiness at his giving me so often the appellation of yahoo,

an odious animal, for which I had so utter a hatred and contempt; I begged he would forbear applying that word to me, and take the same order in his family

and among his friends whom he suffered to see me. I requested likewise, that the

secret of my having a false covering to my body might be known to none but himself, at least as long as my present clothing should last; for, as to what the sorrel nag, his valet, had observed, his honor might command him to conceal it.

All this my master very graciously consented to, and thus the secret was kept

till my clothes began to wear out, which I was forced to supply by several

contrivances that shall hereafter be mentioned. In the meantime, he desired I would go on with my utmost diligence to learn their language, because he was

more astonished at my capacity for speech and reason, than at the figure of my

body, whether it were covered or no; adding, that he waited with some

impatience to hear the wonders which I promised to tell him.

Thenceforward he doubled the pains he had been at to instruct me; he brought

me into all company, and made them treat me with civility, because, as he told

them privately, this would put me into good humor, and make me more

diverting.

Every day, when I waited on him, besides the trouble he was at in teaching, he

would ask me several questions concerning myself, which I answered as well as

I could; and by these means he had already received some general ideas, though

very imperfect. It would be tedious to relate the several steps by which I

advanced to a more regular conversation, but the first account I gave of myself

in any order and length was to this purpose:

That I came from a very far country, as I already had attempted to tell him, with about fifty more of my own species; that we traveled upon the seas in a great hollow vessel made of wood, and larger than his honor’s house. I described

the ship to him in the best terms I could, and explained, by the help of my handkerchief displayed, how it was driven forward by the wind. That upon a

quarrel among us, I was set on shore on this coast, where I walked forward, without knowing whither, till he delivered me from the persecution of those

execrable yahoos. He asked me who made the ship, and how it was possible that

the Houyhnhnms of my country would leave it to the management of brutes. My

answer was, that I durst proceed no farther in my relation, unless he would give

me his word and honor that he would not be offended, and then I would tell him

the wonders I had so often promised. He agreed; and I went on by assuring him

that the ship was made by creatures like myself, who, in all the countries I had

traveled, as well as in my own, were the only governing, rational animals; and that upon my arrival hither I was as much astonished to see the Houyhnhnms act

like rational beings, as he or his friends could be in finding some marks of reason in a creature he was pleased to call a yahoo, to which I owned my resemblance in every part, but could not account for their degenerate and brutal

nature. I said farther, that if good fortune ever restored me to my native country,

to relate my travels hither, as I resolved to do, everybody would believe that I said the thing which was not; that I invented the story out of my own head; and

—with all possible respect to himself, his family, and friends, and under his

promise of not being offended—our countrymen would hardly think it probable that a Houyhnhnm should be the presiding creature of a nation, and a yahoo the

brute.

CHAPTER IV

THE HOUYHNHNMS’ NOTION OF TRUTH AND FALSEHOOD—THE AUTHOR’S DISCOURSE

DISAPPROVED BY HIS MASTER—THE AUTHOR GIVES A MORE PARTICULAR

ACCOUNT OF HIMSELF, AND THE ACCIDENTS OF HIS VOYAGE.

My master heard me with great appearances of uneasiness in his countenance;

because doubting or not believing, are so little known in this country, that the inhabitants cannot tell how to behave themselves under such circumstances; and

I remember, in frequent discourses with my master concerning the nature of

manhood, in other parts of the world, having occasion to talk of lying and false

representation, it was with much difficulty that he comprehended what I meant,

although he had otherwise a most acute judgment. For he argued thus: that the use of speech was to make us understand one another, and to receive information

of facts; now, if any one said the thing which was not, these ends were defeated,

because I cannot properly be said to understand him; and I am so far from

receiving information, that he leaves me worse than in ignorance, for I am led to

believe a thing black when it is white, and short when it is long. And these were

all the notions he had concerning that faculty of lying, so perfectly well

understood among human creatures.

To return from this digression: When I asserted that the yahoos were the only

governing animals in my country, which my master said was altogether past his

conception, he desired to know whether we had Houyhnhnms among us, and

what was their employment. I told him we had great numbers; that in summer

they grazed in the fields, and in winter were kept in houses, with hay and oats,

where yahoo servants were employed to rub their skins smooth, comb their manes, pick their feet, serve them with food, and make their beds. “I understand

you well,” said my master; “it is very plain, from all you have spoken, that whatever share of reason the yahoos pretend to, the Houyhnhnms are your masters. I heartily wish our yahoos would be so tractable.” I begged his honor would please excuse me from proceeding any farther, because I was very certain

that the account he expected from me would be highly displeasing. But he

insisted in commanding me to let him know the best and the worst. I told him he

should be obeyed. I owned that the Houyhnhnms among us, whom we called

horses, were the most generous and comely animals we had; that they excelled in

strength and swiftness; and when they belonged to persons of quality, were

employed in traveling, racing, or drawing chariots; they were treated with much

kindness and care, till they fell into diseases, or became foundered in the feet;

and then they were sold, and used to all kind of drudgery till they died; after which their skins were stripped, and sold for what they were worth, and their bodies left to be devoured by dogs and birds of prey. But the common race of horses had not so good fortune, being kept by farmers and carriers and other mean people, who put them to great labor, and fed them worse. I described as well as I could, our way of riding; the shape and use of a bridle, a saddle, a spur,

and a whip; of harness and wheels. I added, that we fastened plates of a certain

hard substance, called iron, at the bottom of their feet, to preserve their hoofs from being broken by the stony ways on which we often traveled.

My master, after some expressions of great indignation, wondered how we

dared to venture upon a Houyhnhnm’s back; for he was sure, that the weakest servant in his house would be able to shake off the strongest yahoo; or by lying down, and rolling on his back, squeeze the brute to death. I answered that our horses were trained up, from three or four years old, to the several uses we intended them for; that if any of them proved intolerably vicious, they were employed for carriages; that they were severely beaten, while they were young,

for any mischievous tricks; that they were indeed sensible of rewards and

punishments; but his honor would please to consider, that they had not the least

tincture of reason, any more than the yahoos in this country.

It put me to the pains of many circumlocutions, to give my master a right idea

of what I spoke; for their language does not abound in variety of words, because

their wants and passions are fewer than among us. But it is impossible to

represent his noble resentment at our savage treatment of the Houyhnhnm race.

He said, if it were possible there could be any country where yahoos alone were

indued with reason, they certainly must be the governing animal; because reason

in time will always prevail against brutal strength. But, considering the frames of

our bodies, and especially of mine, he thought no creature of equal bulk was so

ill contrived for employing that reason in the common offices of life; whereupon

he desired to know whether those among whom I lived resembled me or the

yahoos of this country. I assured him that I was as well shaped as most of my age; but the younger, and the females, were much more soft and tender, and the

skins of the latter generally as white as milk. He said I differed indeed from other yahoos, being much more cleanly, and not altogether so deformed; but, in

point of real advantage, he thought I differed for the worse: that my nails were of

no use either to my fore or hinder feet; as to my forefeet, he could not properly

call them by that name, for he never observed me to walk upon them; that they

were too soft to bear the ground; that I generally went with them uncovered; neither was the covering I sometimes wore on them of the same shape, or so

strong as that on my feet behind; that I could not walk with any security, for if either of my hinder feet slipped, I must inevitably fall. He then began to find fault with other parts of my body: the flatness of my face, the prominence of my

nose, my eyes placed directly in front, so that I could not look on either side without turning my head. That I was not able to feed myself, without lifting one

of my forefeet to my mouth; and therefore nature had placed those joints to answer that necessity. He knew not what could be the use of those several clefts

and divisions in my feet behind; that these were too soft to bear the hardness and

sharpness of stones without a covering made from the skin of some other brute;

that my whole body wanted a fence against heat and cold, which I was forced to

put on and off every day with tediousness and trouble. And lastly, that he

observed every animal in this country naturally to abhor the yahoos, whom the

weaker avoided and the stronger drove from them. So that, supposing us to have

the gift of reason, he could not see how it were possible to cure that natural antipathy which every creature discovered against us; nor consequently, how we

could tame and render them serviceable. However, he would, as he said, debate

the matter no farther, because he was more desirous to know my own story, the

country where I was born, and the several actions and events of my life before I

came hither.

I assured him how extremely desirous I was that he should be satisfied on

every point; but I doubted much, whether it would be possible for me to explain

myself on several subjects whereof his honor could have no conception; because

I saw nothing in his country to which I could resemble them. That, however, I would do my best, and strive to express myself by similitudes, humbly desiring

his assistance when I wanted proper words; which he was pleased to promise

me.

I said my birth was of honest parents, in an island called England, which was

remote from this country, as many days’ journey as the strongest of his honor’s

servants could travel in the annual course of the sun; that I was bred a surgeon,

whose trade it is to cure wounds and hurts in the body, got by accident or violence; that my country was governed by a female man, called a queen; that I

left it to get riches whereby I might maintain myself and family when I should

return; that in my last voyage, I was commander of the ship, and had about fifty

yahoos under me, many of which died at sea, and I was forced to supply them by

others picked out from several nations; that our ship was twice in danger of being sunk, the first time by a great storm, and the second by striking against a

rock. Here my master interposed, by asking me how I could persuade strangers

out of different countries to venture with me, after the losses I had sustained, and

the hazards I had run. I said they were fellows of desperate fortunes, forced to fly from the places of their birth on account of their poverty or their crimes.

Some were undone by lawsuits; others spent all they had in drinking and

gaming; others fled for treason; many for murder, theft, poisoning, robbery,

perjury, forgery, coining false money, for flying from their colors, or deserting to

the enemy; and most of them had broken prison; none of these durst return to their native countries, for fear of being hanged, or of starving in a jail; and therefore were under the necessity of seeking a livelihood in other places.

During this discourse my master was pleased to interrupt me several times. I

had made use of many circumlocutions in describing to him the nature of several

crimes for which most of our crew had been forced to fly their country. This labor took up several days’ conversation before he was able to comprehend me.

He was wholly at a loss to know what could be the use or necessity of practicing

those vices. To clear up which I endeavored to give him some idea of the desire

of power and riches; of the terrible effects of lust, intemperance, malice, and envy. All this I was forced to define and describe by putting of cases and making

of suppositions. After which, like one whose imagination was struck with

something never seen or heard of before, he would lift up his eyes with

amazement and indignation. Power, government, war, law, punishment, and a

thousand other things had no terms wherein that language could express them;

which made the difficulty almost insuperable to give my master any conception

of what I meant. But, being of an excellent understanding, much improved by

contemplation and converse, he at last arrived at a competent knowledge of what

human nature, in our parts of the world, is capable to perform, and desired I would give him some particular account of that land which we call Europe, but

especially of my own country.

CHAPTER V

THE AUTHOR AT HIS MASTER’S COMMAND, INFORMS HIM OF THE STATE OF ENGLAND

—THE CAUSES OF WAR AMONG THE PRINCES OF EUROPE—THE AUTHOR BEGINS

TO EXPLAIN THE ENGLISH CONSTITUTION.

The reader may please to observe that the following extract of many of the

conversations I had with my master, contains a summary of the most material

points, which were discoursed at several times for above two years; his honor often desiring fuller satisfaction as I farther improved in the Houyhnhnm tongue.

I laid before him, as well as I could, the whole state of Europe; I discoursed of

trade and manufactures, of arts and sciences; and the answers I gave to all the questions he made, as they arose upon several subjects, were a fund of

conversation not to be exhausted. But I shall here only set down the substance of

what passed between us concerning my own country, reducing it into order as

well as I can, without any regard to time or other circumstances, while I strictly

adhere to truth. My only concern is, that I shall hardly be able to do justice to my

master’s arguments and expressions, which must needs suffer by my want of

capacity, as well as by a translation into our barbarous English.

In obedience, therefore, to his honor’s commands, I related to him the

revolution under the Prince of Orange, the long war with France entered into by

the said prince, and renewed by his successor, the present queen; wherein the greatest powers of Christendom were engaged, and which still continued. I

computed, at his request, that about a million of yahoos might have been killed

in the whole progress of it; and perhaps a hundred or more cities taken, and thrice as many ships burnt or sunk.

He asked me what were the usual causes or motives that made one country go

to war with another. I answered, they were innumerable; but I should only

mention a few of the chief. Sometimes the ambition of princes, who never think

they have land or people enough to govern; sometimes the corruption of

ministers, who engage their master in a war in order to stifle or divert the clamor

of the subjects against their evil administration. Difference in opinions has cost

many millions of lives: for instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be flesh; whether the juice of a certain berry be blood or wine; whether whistling be a vice or virtue; whether it be better to kiss a post or throw it into the fire; what is

the best color for a coat, whether black, white, red, or gray, and whether it should

be long or short, narrow or wide, dirty or clean, with many more. Neither are any

wars so furious and bloody, or of so long continuance, as those occasioned by difference in opinion, especially if it be in things indifferent.

Sometimes the quarrel between two princes is to decide which of them shall

dispossess a third of his dominions, where neither of them pretend to any right.

Sometimes one prince quarrels with another, for fear the other should quarrel with him. Sometimes a war is entered upon, because the enemy is too strong, and sometimes because he is too weak. Sometimes our neighbors want the things

which we have, or have the things which we want, and we both fight, till they take ours, or give us theirs. It is a very justifiable cause of war to invade a country after the people have been wasted by famine, destroyed by pestilence, or

embroiled by factions among themselves. It is justifiable to enter into war

against our nearest ally, when one of his towns lies convenient for us, or a territory of land that would render our dominions round and complete. If a prince

sends forces into a nation where the people are poor and ignorant, he may

lawfully put half of them to death, and make slaves of the rest, in order to civilize and reduce them from their barbarous way of living. It is a very kingly,

honorable, and frequent practice, when one prince desires the assistance of

another to secure him against an invasion, that the assistant, when he has driven

out the invader, should seize on the dominions himself, and kill, imprison, or banish the prince he came to relieve. Alliance by blood or marriage, is a frequent

cause of war between princes; and the nearer the kindred is, the greater is their

disposition to quarrel. Poor nations are hungry, and rich nations are proud, and pride and hunger will ever be at variance. For these reasons, the trade of a soldier is held the most honorable of all others; because a soldier is a yahoo hired to kill in cold blood as many of his own species, who have never offended

him, as possibly he can.

There is likewise a kind of princes in Europe, not able to make war by

themselves, who hire out their troops to richer nations, for so much a day to each

man; of which they keep three-fourths to themselves, and it is the best part of their maintenance; such are those in many northern parts of Europe.

“What you have told me,” said my master, “upon the subject of war, does

indeed discover most admirably the effects of that reason you pretend to:

however, it is happy that the shame is greater than the danger; and that nature has

left you utterly incapable of doing much mischief. For your mouths lying flat with your faces, you can hardly bite each other to any purpose, unless by

consent. Then as to the claws upon your feet before and behind, they are so short

and tender, that one of our yahoos would drive a dozen of yours before him. And

therefore in recounting the numbers of those who have been killed in battle, I cannot but think you have said the thing which is not.”

I could not forbear shaking my head and smiling a little at his ignorance. And

being no stranger to the art of war, I gave him a description of cannons,

culverins, muskets, carabines, pistols, bullets, powder, swords, bayonets, sieges,

retreats, attacks, undermines, countermines, bombardments, sea fights; ships

sunk with a thousand men, twenty thousand killed on each side; dying groans, limbs flying in the air, smoke, noise, confusion, trampling to death under horses’

feet; flight, pursuit, victory; fields strewed with carcasses, left for food to dogs,

and wolves, and birds of prey; plundering, stripping, ravishing, burning, and

destroying. And, to set forth the valor of my own dear countrymen, I assured him that I had seen them blow up a hundred enemies at once in a siege, and as

many in a ship, and beheld the dead bodies drop down in pieces from the clouds,

to the great diversion of the spectators.

I was going on to more particulars, when my master commanded me silence.

He said, whoever understood the nature of yahoos might easily believe it possible for so vile an animal to be capable of every action I had named, if their

strength and cunning equaled their malice. But as my discourse had increased his

abhorrence of the whole species, so he found it gave him a disturbance in his mind, to which he was wholly a stranger before. He thought his ears being used

to such abominable words, might by degrees admit them with less detestation.

That although he hated the yahoos of this country, yet he no more blamed them

for their odious qualities than he did a gnnayh (a bird of prey) for its cruelty, or a sharp stone for cutting his hoof. But when a creature pretending to reason could

be capable of such enormities, he dreaded lest the corruption of that faculty might be worse than brutality itself. He seemed therefore confident, that instead

of reason, we were only possessed of some quality fitted to increase our natural

vices; as the reflection from a troubled stream returns the image of an ill-shapen

body, not only larger, but more distorted.

He added that he had heard too much upon the subject of war, both in this and

some former discourses. There was another point which a little perplexed him at

present. I had informed him that some of our crew left their country on account

of being ruined by law; that I had already explained the meaning of the word; but he was at a loss how it should come to pass, that the law, which was intended

for every man’s preservation, should be any man’s ruin. Therefore he desired to

be farther satisfied what I meant by law, and what sort of dispensers they could

be by whose practices the property of any person could be lost instead of

preserved. He added that he saw no occasion for this thing called law, as all its intents and purposes might be answered by following the dictates of nature and

reason, which were sufficient guides for a reasonable animal, as we pretended to

be, in showing us what we ought to do, and what to avoid.

I assured his honor that law was a science in which I was little conversant, having only such knowledge of it as I had obtained by employing advocates, in

vain, upon some injustices that had been done me, and by conversing with others

who by the same method had first lost their substance and then left their country

under the mortification of such disappointments. However, I would give him all

the satisfaction I was able.

I said that those who professed this science were exceedingly numerous, being

almost equal to the caterpillars in number; they were of diverse degrees,

distinctions, and denominations. Their number was such that the fair and

justifiable advantage and income of the profession was not sufficient for the decent and handsome maintenance of multitudes who followed it. The result was

that it was found needful to supply that by artifice and cunning which could not

be procured by just and honest methods; the better to bring which about, there was among us a society of men bred from their youth in the art of proving, by

words multiplied for the purpose, that white is black, and black is white,

according as they are paid. The greatness of the assurance of these men, and the

boldness of their pretensions, gained the adherence of the mass of the people, of

whom in a manner they made slaves, and got into their hands much the largest

share of the practice of their profession. These practitioners were by men of discernment called pettifoggers (that is, confounders, or rather, destroyers of right), and it was my ill luck as well as the misfortune of my acquaintances, to

have been at the mercy of this species of the profession. I desired his honor to understand the description I had to give, and the ruin I had complained of, related to these sectaries only, and the means by which the misfortunes we met

had been brought upon us by these men might be more easily conceived by

explaining to him their method of proceeding, which could not better be done than by giving him an example.

I will suppose that my neighbor has a mind to my cow; he hires one of these

advocates to prove that he ought to have my cow from me. I must then hire another to defend my right, it being against all rules of law that any man shall be

allowed to speak for himself. Now, in this case, I who am the right owner, lie under two great disadvantages. First, my advocate, being practiced almost from

the cradle in defending falsehood, is quite out of his element when he would

argue for right, which, being unnatural to him, he attempts with great awkwardness, if not with ill will. The second disadvantage is that my advocate

must proceed with great caution, for since the maintenance of so many depends

on the practice of law not being lessened by too summary proceedings, even

should he fail to incur the displeasure of the judges he is sure to gain the ill will

and hatred of his brethren. This being the case, I have but two methods to preserve my cow. The first is to gain over my adversary’s advocate with a double

fee, his education being such that it is reasonable to expect he can be induced to

betray his client and let the balance fall on my side. The second way is for my

advocate to refrain from insisting on the justice of my cause, by allowing the cow to belong to my adversary; and this, if it be skillfully done, will go a long

way toward obtaining a favorable verdict, it having been found by careful

observation of issues and events, that under the management of such

practitioners, the wrong side has the fairer chance of success, more especially if

it should happen, as it did in my own and my friend’s case, that the person appointed to decide all controversies concerning property as well as to try

criminals, who should be chosen from among the most learned and wise of his

profession, is by the recommendation of a great favorite or court mistress taken

from the sect before mentioned, and so having been strongly biased all his life against equity and fair dealing, lies, as it were, under a fatal necessity of favoring, double dealing and oppression, and besides, through age, infirmity, and

distemper having become lazy and inattentive, he is almost incapacitated from

doing anything becoming the duty of his office. The decisions of men so bred and qualified may with reason be expected to be on the wrong side of the cause,

for it is little wonder that those who can take harangue and noise (if pursued with

warmth and drawn out to great length) for reasoning, will infer the weight of the

argument from the heaviness of the pleading.

It is a maxim among these men that whatever has been done before may

legally be done again, and therefore they take special care to record all the decisions formerly made, even those which have through ignorance or

corruption contradicted the rules of common justice. These, under the name of precedents, they produce as authorities, and thereby endeavor to justify the most

iniquitous opinions; and they are so lucky in this practice that they rarely fail to

secure decrees according to their expectation.

In pleading, they studiously avoid entering into the merits of the cause; but are

loud, violent, and tedious in dwelling upon all circumstances which are not to the purpose. For instance, in the case already mentioned, they never desire to know what claim or title my adversary has to my cow; but whether the said cow

were red or black; her horns long or short; whether the field I grazed her in be round or square; whether she was milked at home or abroad; what diseases she is

subject to, and the like; after which they consult precedents, adjourn the cause from time to time, and in ten, twenty, or thirty years come to an issue.

It is likewise to be observed, that this society has a peculiar cant and jargon of

their own, that no other mortal can understand, and wherein all their laws are written, which they take special care to multiply; whereby they have gone near

to confound the very essence of truth and falsehood, of right and wrong; so that

it may take thirty years to decide whether the field, left me by my ancestors for

six generations, belongs to me or to a stranger three hundred miles off.

In the trial of persons accused for crimes against the state, the method is much

more short and commendable: for if those in power, who know well how to

select instruments fit to carry out their purpose, are careful to recommend a proper person, his course of education and method of practice make it easy for

him, when his patron’s disposition is understood, without difficulty either to condemn or acquit the criminal and at the same time strictly preserve all due forms of law.

Here my master interposing said it was a pity that creatures endowed with

such prodigious abilities of mind as these advocates by the description of them

must certainly be, were not rather encouraged to be instructors of others in wisdom and knowledge. In answer to which I assured his honor that the business

and study of their own profession so took up all their thoughts and time, that they attended to nothing else, and therefore in all points out of their own trade many of them were so ignorant and stupid that it would be difficult to pick out of

any profession a generation of men more despicable in common conversation or

so much looked upon as avowed enemies of all knowledge and learning, and

equally disposed to pervert the general reasons of mankind in every other subject

of discourse, as in that of their own calling.

CHAPTER VI

A CONTINUATION OF THE STATE OF ENGLAND UNDER QUEEN ANNE—THE

CHARACTER OF A FIRST MINISTER OF STATE IN SOME EUROPEAN COURTS.

My master was yet wholly at a loss to understand what motives could incite

this race of lawyers to perplex, disquiet, and weary themselves, and engage in a

confederacy of injustice, merely for the sake of injuring their fellow animals; neither could he comprehend what I meant in saying they did it for hire.

Whereupon I was at much pains to describe to him the use of money, the

materials it was made of, and the value of the metals; that when a yahoo had got a great store of this precious substance, he was able to purchase whatever he had

a mind to, the finest clothing, the noblest houses, great tracts of land, the most

costly meats and drinks, and have his choice of the most beautiful females.

Therefore since money alone was able to perform all these feats, our yahoos thought they could never have enough of it to spend or save, as they found themselves inclined from their natural bent either to profusion or avarice. That the rich man enjoyed the fruit of the poor man’s labor, and the latter were a thousand to one in proportion to the former. That the bulk of our people were forced to live miserably, by laboring every day for small wages to make a few live plentifully. I enlarged myself much on these and many other particulars to the same purpose. But his honor was still to seek; for he went upon a supposition

that all animals had a title to their share in the productions of the earth, and especially those who presided over the rest. Therefore he desired I would let him

know what these costly meats were, and how any of us happened to want them.

Whereupon I enumerated as many sorts as came into my head, with the various

methods of dressing them, which could not be done without sending vessels by

sea to every part of the world, as well for liquors to drink as for sauces, and innumerable other conveniencies. I assured him that this whole globe of earth must be at least three times gone round, before one of our better female yahoos

could get her breakfast, or a cup to put it in. He said that must needs be a miserable country which cannot furnish food for its own inhabitants. But what he chiefly wondered at was how such vast tracts of ground as I described should

be wholly without fresh water, and the people put to the necessity of sending over the sea for drink. I replied that England (the dear place of my nativity) was

computed to produce three times the quantity of food more than its inhabitants are able to consume, as well as liquors extracted from grain, or pressed out of the

fruit of certain trees, which made excellent drink; and the same proportion in

every other convenience of life. But, in order to feed the luxury and intemperance of the males, and the vanity of the females, we sent away the

greatest part of our necessary things to other countries, whence in return we brought the materials of diseases, folly, and vice, to spend among ourselves.

Hence it follows of necessity, that vast numbers of our people are compelled to

seek their livelihood by begging, robbing, stealing, cheating, flattering,

suborning, forswearing, forging, gaming, lying, fawning, hectoring, voting,

scribbling, star-gazing, poisoning, canting, libeling, free-thinking, and the like occupations; every one of which terms I was at much pains to make him

understand.

That wine was not imported among us from foreign countries to supply the

want of water or other drinks, but because it was a sort of liquid which made us

merry by putting us out of our senses; diverted all melancholy thoughts, begat wild extravagant imaginations in the brain, raised our hopes and banished our fears, suspended every office of reason for a time and deprived us of the use of

our limbs till we fell into a profound sleep; although it must be confessed that we

always awaked sick and dispirited, and that the use of this liquor filled us with

diseases which made our lives uncomfortable and short.

But beside all this, the bulk of our people supported themselves by furnishing

the necessities or conveniencies of life to the rich and to each other. For instance,

when I am at home, and dressed as I ought to be, I carry on my body the workmanship of a hundred tradesmen; the building and furniture of my house

employ as many more, and five times the number to adorn my wife.

I was going on to tell him of another sort of people, who get their livelihood

by attending the sick, having upon some occasions informed his honor that many

of my crew had died of diseases. But it was with the utmost difficulty that I brought him to apprehend what I meant. He could easily conceive that a

Houyhnhnm grew weak and heavy a few days before his death, or by some

accident might hurt a limb; but that Nature, who works all things to perfection,

should suffer any pains to breed in our bodies he thought it impossible, and desired to know the reason of so unaccountable an evil. I told him that we fed on

a thousand things which operated contrary to each other; that we ate when we were not hungry, and drank without the provocation of thirst; that we sat whole

nights drinking strong liquors, without eating a bit, which disposed us to sloth,

inflamed our bodies, and precipitated or prevented digestion. That it would be endless to give him a catalogue of all diseases incident to human bodies, for they

would not be fewer than five or six hundred, spread over every limb and joint—

in short, every part, external and intestine, having diseases appropriated to them.

To remedy which, there was a sort of people bred up among us in the profession,

or pretense, of curing the sick. And because I had some skill in the faculty, I would, in gratitude to his honor, let him know the whole mystery and method by

which they proceed.

Their fundamental is, that all diseases arise from repletion; whence they

conclude, that a great evacuation of the body is necessary, either through the natural passage, or upwards at the mouth. Their next business is, from herbs, minerals, gums, oils, shells, salts, juices, seaweed, barks of trees, serpents, toads,

frogs, spiders, dead men’s flesh and bones, beasts, and fishes, to form a

composition for smell and taste the most abominable, nauseous, and detestable

they can possibly contrive, which the stomach immediately rejects with loathing,

and this they call a vomit; or else, from the same storehouse, with some other poisonous additions, they command us to take in a medicine equally annoying

and disgustful to the bowels, which relaxing the belly, drives down all before it,

and this they call a purge, or a clyster.

But besides real diseases, we are subject to many that are only imaginary, for

which the physicians have invented imaginary cures; these have their several

names, and so have the drugs that are proper for them, and with these our female

yahoos are always infested.

One great excellency in this tribe is their skill at prognostics, wherein they seldom fail; their predictions in real diseases, when they rise to any degree of malignity, generally portending death, which is always in their power, when

recovery is not. And therefore, upon any unexpected signs of amendment, after

they have pronounced their sentence, rather than be accused as false prophets, they know how to approve their sagacity to the world by a seasonable dose.

They are likewise of special use to husbands and wives who are grown weary

of their mates, to eldest sons, to great ministers of state, and often to princes.

I had formerly, upon occasion, discoursed with my master upon the nature of

government in general, particularly of our own excellent constitution, deservedly

the wonder and envy of the whole world. But having here accidentally

mentioned a minister of state, he commanded me some time after to inform him

what species of yahoo I particularly meant by that appellation.

I told him that our first or chief minister of state was a person wholly exempt

from joy and grief, love and hatred, pity and anger; at least makes use of no other passions but a violent desire of wealth, power, and titles. That he applies

his words to all uses except to the indication of his mind; that he never tells a truth but with an intent that you should take it for a lie; nor a lie but with a design that you should take it for a truth. That those he speaks worst of behind

their backs are in the surest way of preferment; and whenever he begins to praise

you to others or to yourself, you are from that day forlorn. The worst mark you

can receive is a promise, especially when it is confirmed with an oath; after which every wise man retires, and gives over all hopes.

There are three methods by which a man may rise to be chief minister. The

first is, by knowing how, with prudence, to dispose of a wife, a daughter, or a sister; the second, by betraying or undermining his predecessor; and the third is

by a furious zeal in public assemblies against the corruptions of the court. But a

wise prince would rather choose to employ those who practice the last of these

methods; because such zealots prove always the most obsequious and

subservient to the will and passions of their master. That these ministers, having

all employments at their disposal, preserve themselves in power by bribing the majority of a senate or great council; and at last, by an act of indemnity (whereof

I described the nature to him), they secured themselves from after reckonings, and retired from the public laden with the spoils of the nation.

The palace of a chief minister is a seminary to breed up others in his own trade; the pages, lackeys, and porter, by imitating their master, become ministers

of state in their several districts, and learn to excel in the three principal ingredients, of insolence, lying, and bribery. Accordingly, they have a subaltern

court paid to them by persons of the best rank, and sometimes by the force of dexterity and impudence, arrive, through several gradations, to be successors to

their lord.

He is usually governed by a decayed wench or favorite footman, who are the

tunnels through which all graces are conveyed, and may properly be called, in the last resort, the governors of the kingdom.

One day in discourse, my master, having heard me mention the nobility of my

country, was pleased to make me a compliment which I could not pretend to

deserve: that he was sure I must have been born of some noble family, because I

far exceeded in shape, color, and cleanliness, all the yahoos of his nation, although I seemed to fail in strength and agility, which must be imputed to my

different way of living from those other brutes; and besides, I was not only endowed with the faculty of speech, but likewise with some rudiments of reason,

to a degree that with all his acquaintance I passed for a prodigy.

He made me observe, that among the Houyhnhnms, the white, the sorrel, and the iron-gray were not so exactly shaped as the bay, the dapple-gray, and the black; nor born with equal talents of the mind, or a capacity to improve them; and therefore continued always in the condition of servants, without ever

aspiring to match out of their own race, which in that country would be reckoned

monstrous and unnatural.

I made his honor my most humble acknowledgments for the good opinion he

was pleased to conceive of me; but assured him at the same time, that my birth

was of the lower sort, having been born of plain honest parents, who were just

able to give me a tolerable education. That nobility, among us, was altogether a

different thing from the idea he had of it; that our young noblemen are bred from

their childhood in idleness and luxury; and when their fortunes are almost

ruined, they marry some woman of mean birth, disagreeable person, and

unsound constitution (merely for the sake of money), whom they hate and

despise. That the productions of such marriages are generally scrofulous, rickety,

or deformed children; by which means the family seldom continues above three

generations. That a weak diseased body, a meager countenance, and sallow

complexion, are no uncommon marks of a great man; and a healthy robust

appearance is so far disgraceful in a man of quality, that the world is apt to conclude his real father to have been one of the inferiors of the family, especially

when it is seen that the imperfections of his mind run parallel with those of his

body, and are little else than a composition of spleen, dullness, ignorance,

caprice, sensuality and pride.

CHAPTER VII

THE

AUTHOR’S

GREAT

LOVE

OF

HIS

NATIVE

COUNTRY—HIS

MASTER’S

OBSERVATIONS UPON THE CONSTITUTION AND ADMINISTRATION OF ENGLAND, AS

DESCRIBED BY THE AUTHOR, WITH PARALLEL CASES AND COMPARISONS—HIS

MASTER’S OBSERVATIONS UPON HUMAN NATURE.

The reader may be disposed to wonder how I could prevail on myself to give

so free a representation of my own species, among a race of mortals who were

already too apt to conceive the vilest opinion of human kind, from that entire congruity betwixt me and their yahoos. But I must freely confess, that the many

virtues of these excellent quadrupeds placed in opposite view to human

corruptions, had so far opened my eyes and enlarged my understanding, that I began to view the actions and passions of man in a very different light, and to think the honor of my own kind not worth managing; which, besides, it was

impossible for me to do before a person of so acute a judgment as my master, who daily convinced me of a thousand faults in myself, whereof I had not the least perception before, and which among us would never be numbered even

among human infirmities. I had likewise learned from his example an utter

detestation of all falsehood or disguise; and truth appeared so amiable to me, that

I determined upon sacrificing everything to it.

Let me deal so candidly with the reader as to confess that there was yet a much stronger motive for the freedom I took in my representation of things. I had not been a year in this country before I contracted such a love and

veneration for the inhabitants, that I entered on a firm resolution never to return

to human kind, but to pass the rest of my life among these admirable

Houyhnhnms, in the contemplation and practice of every virtue; where I could

have no example or incitement to vice. But it was decreed by fortune, my

perpetual enemy, that so great a felicity should not fall to my share. However, it

is now some comfort to reflect, that in what I said of my countrymen, I

extenuated their faults as much as I durst before so strict an examiner, and upon

every article gave as favorable a turn as the matter would bear. For, indeed, who

is there alive that will not be swayed by his bias and partiality to the place of his

birth?

I have related the substance of several conversations I had with my master,

during the greatest part of the time I had the honor to be in his service; but have,

indeed, for brevity’s sake, omitted much more than is here set down.

When I had answered all his questions, and his curiosity seemed to be fully satisfied, he sent for me one morning early, and commanding me to sit down at

some distance (an honor which he had never before conferred upon me), he said

he had been very seriously considering my whole story, as far as it related both

to myself and to my country. That he looked upon us as a sort of animals to whose share, by what accident he could not conjecture, some small pittance of reason had fallen, whereof we made no other use than by its assistance to

aggravate our natural corruptions, and to acquire new ones which Nature had not

given us. That we disarmed ourselves of the few abilities she had bestowed; had

been very successful in multiplying our original wants, and seemed to spend our

whole lives in vain endeavors to supply them by our own inventions. That as to

myself, it was manifest I had neither the strength nor agility of a common yahoo,

that I walked infirmly on my hinder feet; had found out a contrivance to make

my claws of no use, or defense, and to remove the hair from my chin, which was

intended as a shelter from the sun and the weather. Lastly, that I could neither run with speed, nor climb trees like my brethren, as he called them, the yahoos in this country.

That our institutions of government and law were plainly owing to our gross

defects in reason, and by consequence, in virtue; because reason alone is

sufficient to govern a rational creature; which was therefore a character we had

no pretense to challenge, even from the account I had given of my own people;

although he manifestly perceived, that in order to favor them, I had concealed many particulars, and often said the thing which was not.

He was the more confirmed in this opinion, because he observed, that as I

agreed in every feature of my body with other yahoos, except where it was to my

real disadvantage in point of strength, speed, and activity, the shortness of my claws, and some particulars where nature had no part; so from the representation

I had given him of our lives, our manners, and our actions, he found as near a resemblance in the disposition of our minds. He said the yahoos were known to

hate one another more than they did any different species of animals; and the reason usually assigned, was the odiousness of their own shapes, which all could

see in the rest, but not in themselves. He had therefore begun to think it not unwise in us to cover our bodies, and by that invention conceal many of our deformities from each other, which would else be hardly supportable. But he

now found he had been mistaken, and that the dissensions of these brutes in his

country were owing to the same cause with ours, as I had described them. “For

if,” said he, “you throw among five yahoos as much food as would be sufficient

for fifty, they will, instead of eating peaceably, fall together by the ears, each

single one impatient to have all to itself; and therefore a servant was usually employed to stand by while they were feeding abroad, and those kept at home were tied at a distance from each other; that if a cow died of age or accident, before a Houyhnhnm could secure it for his own yahoos, those in the

neighborhood would come in herds to seize it, and then would insue such a

battle as I had described, with terrible wounds made by their claws on both sides,

although they seldom were able to kill one another, for want of such convenient

instruments of death as we had invented. At other times the like battles have been fought between the yahoos of several neighborhoods, without any visible cause; those of one district watching all opportunities to surprise the next before

they are prepared. But if they find their project has miscarried, they return home,

and for want of enemies, engage in what I call a civil war among themselves.”

That in some fields of his country, there are certain shining stones of several

colors, whereof the yahoos are violently fond; and when part of these stones is

fixed in the earth, as it sometimes happens, they will dig with their claws for whole days to get them out, then carry them away and hide them by heaps in their kennels; but still looking round with great caution, for fear their comrades

should find out their treasure. My master said he could never discover the reason

of this unnatural appetite, or how these stones could be of any use to a yahoo; but now he believed it might proceed from the same principle of avarice which I

had ascribed to mankind. That he had once, by way of experiment, privately

removed a heap of these stones from the place where one of his yahoos had buried it; whereupon the sordid animal, missing his treasure, by his loud

lamenting brought the whole herd to the place, there miserably howled, then fell

to biting and tearing the rest; began to pine away; would neither eat, nor sleep,

nor work, till he ordered a servant privately to convey the stones into the same

hole, and hide them as before; which when his yahoo had found, he presently recovered his spirits and good humor, but took good care to remove them to a better hiding place, and has ever since been a very serviceable brute.

My master farther assured me, which I also observed myself, that in the fields

where these shining stones abound, the fiercest and most frequent battles are fought, occasioned by perpetual inroads of the neighboring yahoos.

He said it was common when two yahoos discovered such a stone in a field,

and were contending which of them should be the proprietor, a third would take

the advantage and carry it away from them both; which my master would needs

contend to have some kind of resemblance with our suits at law; wherein I

thought it for our credit not to undeceive him; since the decision he mentioned

was much more equitable than many decrees among us; because the plaintiff and defendant there lost nothing beside the stone they contended for; whereas our courts of equity would never have dismissed the cause while either of them had

anything left.

My master continuing his discourse, said there was nothing that rendered the

yahoos more odious than their undistinguishing appetite to devour everything that came in their way, whether herbs, roots, berries, the corrupted flesh of animals, or all mingled together; and it was peculiar in their temper, that they were fonder of what they could get by rapine or stealth at a greater distance, than

much better food provided for them at home.

There was also another kind of root, very juicy, but somewhat rare and

difficult to be found, which the yahoos sought for with much eagerness, and would suck it with great delight; and it produced in them the same effects that wine has upon us. It would make them sometimes hug and sometimes tear one

another; they would howl, and grin, and chatter, and reel, and tumble, and then

fall asleep in the mud.

I did indeed observe that the yahoos were the only animals in the country subject to any diseases; which, however, were much fewer than horses have

among us, and contracted not by any ill treatment they meet with, but by the nastiness and greediness of that sordid brute. Neither has their language any more than a general appellation for those maladies, which is borrowed from the

name of the beast, and called hnea yahoo, or the yahoo’s evil.

As to learning, government, arts, manufactures, and the like, my master

confessed he could find little or no resemblance between the yahoos of that country and those in ours. For he only meant to observe what parity there was in

our natures. He had heard, indeed, some curious Houyhnhnms observe, that in

most herds there was a sort of ruling yahoo (as among us there is generally some leading or principal stag in a park), who was always more deformed in body and

mischievous in disposition than any of the rest. That this leader had usually a favorite as like himself as he could get. This favorite is hated by the whole herd,

and therefore, to protect himself, keeps always near the person of his leader. He

usually continues in office till a worse can be found; but the very moment he is

discarded, his successor, at the head of all the yahoos in that district, young and old, male and female, come in a body, and attack him. But how far this might be

applicable to our courts, and favorites, and ministers of state, my master said I could best determine.

I durst make no return to this malicious insinuation, which debased human understanding below the sagacity of a common hound, who has judgment

enough to distinguish and follow the cry of the ablest dog in the pack, without

being ever mistaken.

My master told me that a thing he wondered at in the yahoos, was their strange disposition to nastiness and dirt, whereas there appears to be a natural love of cleanliness in all other animals. As to the two former accusations, I was

glad to let them pass without any reply, because I had not a word to offer upon

them in defense of my species, which otherwise I certainly had done from my own inclinations. But I could have easily vindicated human kind from the

imputation of singularity upon the last article, if there had been any swine in that

country (as unluckily for me there were not), which although it may be a sweeter

quadruped than a yahoo, cannot, I humbly conceive, in justice, pretend to more

cleanliness; and so his honor himself must have owned, if he had seen their filthy way of feeding, and their custom of wallowing and sleeping in the mud.

My master likewise mentioned another quality which his servants had

discovered in several yahoos, and to him was wholly unaccountable. He said a fancy would sometimes take a yahoo to retire to a corner, to lie down and howl

and groan, and spurn away all that came near him, although he were young and

fat, wanted neither food nor water; nor did the servants imagine what could

possibly ail him. And the only remedy they found was to set him to hard work,

after which he would infallibly come to himself. To this I was silent out of partiality to my own kind; yet here I could plainly discover the true seeds of spleen, which only seizes on the lazy, the luxurious, and the rich; who, if they were forced to undergo the same regimen, I would undertake for the cure.

CHAPTER VIII

THE AUTHOR RELATES SEVERAL PARTICULARS OF THE YAHOOS—THE GREAT

VIRTUES OF THE HOUYHNHNMS—THE EDUCATION AND EXERCISE OF THEIR

YOUTH—THEIR GENERAL ASSEMBLY.

As I ought to have understood human nature much better than I supposed it

possible for my master to do, it was easy to apply the character he gave of the

yahoos to myself and my countrymen; and I believed I could yet make farther discoveries from my own observation. I therefore often begged his favor to let me go among the herds of yahoos in the neighborhood; to which he always very

graciously consented, being perfectly convinced that the hatred I bore those

brutes would never suffer me to be corrupted by them; and his honor ordered one

of his servants, a strong sorrel nag, very honest and good-natured, to be my guard, without whose protection I durst not undertake such adventures. For I

have already told the reader how much I was pestered by these odious animals,

upon my first arrival; and I afterwards failed very narrowly three or four times of

falling into their clutches, when I happened to stray at any distance without my

hanger. And I have reason to believe they had some imagination that I was of their own species, which I often assisted myself by stripping up my sleeves, and

showing my naked arms and breast in their sight, when my protector was with me. At which times they would approach as near as they durst, and imitate my

actions after the manner of monkeys, but ever with great signs of hatred; as a tame jackdaw with cap and stockings is always persecuted by the wild ones,

when he happens to get among them.

They are prodigiously nimble from their infancy. However, I once caught a

young male of three years old, and endeavored, by all marks of tenderness, to make it quiet; but the little imp fell a-squalling, and scratching, and biting with

such violence, that I was forced to let it go; and it was high time, for a whole troop of old ones came about us at the noise, but finding the cub was safe (for

away it ran), and my sorrel nag being by, they durst not venture near us. I observed the young animal’s flesh to smell very rank, and the stink was

somewhat between a weasel and a fox, but much more disagreeable.

By what I could discover, the yahoos appear to be the most unteachable of all

animals; their capacities never reaching higher than to draw or carry burdens.

Yet I am of opinion, this defect arises chiefly from a perverse, restive

disposition. For they are cunning, malicious, treacherous, and revengeful. They

are strong and hardy, but of a cowardly spirit, and by consequence insolent, abject, and cruel. It is observed, that the red-haired of both sexes are more mischievous than the rest, whom they yet much exceed in strength and activity.

The Houyhnhnms keep the yahoos for present use in huts not far from the house; but the rest are sent abroad to certain fields, where they dig up roots, eat

several kinds of herbs, and search about for carrion, or sometimes catch weasels

and luhimuhs (a sort of wild rat), which they greedily devour. Nature has taught them to dig deep holes with their nails on the side of a rising ground, wherein they lie by themselves; only the kennels of the females are larger, sufficient to hold two or three cubs.

They swim from their infancy like frogs, and are able to continue long under

water, where they often take fish, which the females carry home to their young.

Having lived three years in this country, the reader, I suppose, will expect that

I should, like other travelers, give some account of the manners and customs of

its inhabitants, which it was, indeed, my principal study to learn.

As these noble Houyhnhnms are endowed by nature with a general disposition

to all virtues, and have no conceptions or ideas of what is evil in a rational creature; so their grand maxim is to cultivate reason, and to be wholly governed

by it. Neither is reason among them a point problematical, as with us, where men

can argue with plausibility on both sides of the question; but strikes you with immediate conviction, as it must needs do where it is not mingled, obscured, or

discolored, by passion and interest. I remember it was with extreme difficulty that I could bring my master to understand the meaning of the word opinion, or

how a point could be disputable; because reason taught us to affirm or deny only

where we are certain; and beyond our knowledge we cannot do either. So that controversies, wranglings, disputes, and positiveness in false or dubious

propositions are evils unknown among the Houyhnhnms. In the like manner,

when I used to explain to him our several systems of natural philosophy, he would laugh that a creature pretending to reason, should value itself upon the knowledge of other people’s conjectures, and in things where that knowledge, if

it were certain, could be of no use. Wherein he agreed entirely with the

sentiments of Socrates, as Plato delivers them; which I mention as the highest honor I can do that prince of philosophers. I have often since reflected, what destruction such a doctrine would make in the libraries of Europe; and how

many paths of fame would be then shut up in the learned world.

Friendship and benevolence are the two principal virtues among the

Houyhnhnms; and these not confined to particular objects, but universal to the whole race. For a stranger from the remotest part is equally treated with the nearest neighbor, and wherever he goes, looks upon himself as at home. They

preserve decency and civility in the highest degrees, but are altogether ignorant

of ceremony. They have no fondness for their colts or foals, but the care they take in educating them proceeds entirely from the dictates of reason. And I

observed my master to show the same affection to his neighbor’s issue that he had for his own. They will have it that nature teaches them to love the whole species, and it is reason only that makes a distinction of persons, where there is a

superior degree of virtue.

When the matron Houyhnhnms have produced one of each sex, they no longer

accompany with their consorts, except they lose one of their issue by some

casualty, which very seldom happens; but in such a case they meet again; or when the like accident befalls a person whose wife is past bearing, some other couple bestow on him one of their own colts, and then go together again until the

mother is pregnant. This caution is necessary to prevent the country from being

overburdened with numbers. But the race of inferior Houyhnhnms bred up to be

servants, is not so strictly limited upon this article; these are allowed to produce

three of each sex, to be domestics in the noble families.

In their marriages, they are exactly careful to choose such colors as will not make any disagreeable mixture in the breed. Strength is chiefly valued in the male, and comeliness in the female, not upon the account of love, but to preserve

the race from degenerating; for where a female happens to excel in strength, a consort is chosen with regard to comeliness. Courtship, love, presents, jointures,

settlements, have no place in their thoughts; or terms whereby to express them in

their language. The young couple meet, and are joined, merely because it is the

determination of their parents and friends; it is what they see done every day, and

they look upon it as one of the necessary actions of a reasonable being. But the

violation of marriage, or any other unchastity, was never heard of, and the

married pair pass their lives with the same friendship and mutual benevolence that they bear to all others of the same species who come in their way; without

jealousy, fondness, quarreling, or discontent.

In educating the youth of both sexes, their method is admirable, and highly

deserves our imitation. These are not suffered to taste a grain of oats, except upon certain days, till eighteen years old; nor milk, but very rarely; and in summer they graze two hours in the morning, and as long in the evening, which

their parents likewise observe; but the servants are not allowed above half that

time, and a great part of their grass is brought home, which they eat at the most convenient hours, when they can be best spared from work.

Temperance, industry, exercise, and cleanliness, are the lessons equally

enjoined to the young ones of both sexes; and my master thought it monstrous in

us to give the females a different kind of education from the males, except in some articles of domestic management; whereby, as he truly observed, one half

of our natives were good for nothing but bringing children into the world. And to

trust the care of our children to such useless animals, he said, was yet a greater

instance of brutality.

But the Houyhnhnms train up their youth to strength, speed, and hardiness, by

exercising them in running races up and down steep hills, and over hard stony grounds; and when they are all in a sweat they are ordered to leap over head and

ears into a pond or river. Four times a year the youth of a certain district meet to

show their proficiency in running and leaping, and other feats of strength and agility, where the victor is rewarded with a song in his or her praise. On this festival the servants drive a herd of yahoos into the field, laden with hay, and oats, and milk, for a repast to the Houyhnhnms; after which these brutes are immediately driven back again, for fear of being noisome to the assembly.

Every fourth year, at the vernal equinox, there is a representative council of the whole nation, which meets in a plain about twenty miles from our house, and

continues about five or six days. Here they inquire into the state and condition of

the several districts; whether they abound or be deficient in hay, or oats, or cows,

or yahoos; and wherever there is any want (which is but seldom) it is immediately supplied by unanimous consent and contribution. Here likewise the

regulation of children is settled; as for instance, if a Houyhnhnm has two males,

he changes one of them with another that has two females; and when a child has

been lost by any casualty, where the mother is past breeding, it is determined what family shall breed another to supply the loss.

CHAPTER IX

A GRAND DEBATE AT THE GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS, AND HOW IT

WAS DETERMINED—THE LEARNING OF THE HOUYHNHNMS—THEIR BUILDINGS—

THEIR MANNER OF BURIALS—THE DEFECTIVENESS OF THEIR LANGUAGE.

One of these grand assemblies was held in my time, about three months before

my departure, whither my master went as the representative of our district. In this council was resumed their old debate, and indeed the only debate that ever

happened in that country; whereof my master, after his return, gave me a very particular account.

The question to be debated was, whether the yahoos should be exterminated from the face of the earth. One of the members for the affirmative offered

several arguments of great strength and weight, alleging that as the yahoos were the most filthy, noisome, and deformed animal which nature ever produced, so

they were the most restive and indocile, mischievous and malicious; they would

privately suck the teats of the Houyhnhnms’ cows, kill and devour their cats, trample down their oats and grass, if they were not continually watched, and commit a thousand other extravagancies. He took notice of a general tradition that yahoos had not been always in that country; but that, many ages ago, two of these brutes appeared together upon a mountain, whether produced by the heat

of the sun upon corrupted mud and slime, or from the ooze and froth of the sea,

was never known. That these yahoos engendered, and their brood, in a short time, grew so numerous as to overrun and infest the whole nation. That the

Houyhnhnms, to get rid of this evil, made a general hunting, and at last inclosed

the whole herd; and destroying the elder, every Houyhnhnm kept two young

ones in a kennel, and brought them to such a degree of tameness, as an animal so

savage by nature can be capable of acquiring; using them for draught and

carriage. That there seemed to be much truth in this tradition, and that those creatures could not be ylnhniamshy (or aborigines of the land), because of the violent hatred the Houyhnhnms, as well as all other animals, bore them, which,

although their evil disposition sufficiently deserved, could never have arrived at

so high a degree, if they had been aborigines; or else they would have long since

been rooted out. That the inhabitants, taking a fancy to use the service of the yahoos, had very imprudently neglected to cultivate the breed of asses, which are a comely animal, easily kept, more tame and orderly, without any offensive

smell; strong enough for labor, although they yield to the other in agility of body; and if their braying be no agreeable sound, it is far preferable to the

horrible howlings of the yahoos.

Several others declared their sentiments to the same purpose, when my master

proposed an expedient to the assembly, whereof he had indeed borrowed the hint

from me. He approved of the tradition mentioned by the honorable member who

spoke before, and affirmed, that the two yahoos said to be first seen among them had been driven thither over the sea; that coming to land, and being forsaken by

their companions, they retired to the mountains, and degenerating by degrees,

became in process of time much more savage than those of their own species in

the country whence these two originals came. The reason of his assertion was, that he had now in his possession a certain wonderful yahoo (meaning myself),

which most of them had heard of, and many of them had seen. He then related to

them how he first found me; that my body was all covered with an artificial composure of the skins and hairs of other animals; that I had a language of my

own, and had thoroughly learned theirs; that I had related to him the accidents which brought me thither; that when he saw me without my covering, I was an

exact yahoo in every part, only of a whiter color, less hairy, and with shorter claws. He added how I had endeavored to persuade him, that in my own and

other countries the yahoos acted as the governing, rational animal, and held the Houyhnhnms in servitude; that he observed in me all the qualities of a yahoo, only a little more civilized by some tincture of reason, which, however, was in a

degree as far inferior to the Houyhnhnm race, as the yahoos of their country were to me. That among other things I mentioned a custom we had of preventing

Houyhnhnms from propagating their kind; that it was no shame to learn wisdom

from brutes, as industry is taught by the ant, and building by the swallow (for so

I translate the word lyhannh, although it be a much larger fowl); that this invention might be practiced upon the younger yahoos here, which would in an

age put an end to the whole species, without destroying life. That in the

meantime the Houyhnhnms should be exhorted to cultivate the breed of asses,

which as they are in all respects more valuable brutes, so they have this

advantage, to be fit for service at five years old, which the others are not till twelve.

This was all my master thought fit to tell me at that time, of what passed in the

grand council. But he was pleased to conceal one particular, which related

personally to myself, whereof I soon felt the unhappy effect, as the reader will know in its proper place, and whence I date all the succeeding misfortunes of my

life.

The Houyhnhnms have no letters, and consequently their knowledge is all

traditional. But there happening few events of any moment among a people so well united, naturally disposed of every virtue, wholly governed by reason, and

cut off from all commerce with other nations, the historical part is easily

preserved without burdening their memories. I have already observed that they

are subject to no diseases, and therefore can have no need of physicians.

However, they have excellent medicines, composed of herbs, to cure accidental

bruises and cuts in the pastern or frog of the foot, by sharp stones, as well as other maims and hurts in the several parts of the body.

They calculate the year by the revolution of the sun and the moon, but use no

subdivisions into weeks. They are well enough acquainted with the motions of

those two luminaries, and understand the nature of eclipses; and this is the utmost progress of their astronomy.

In poetry, they must be allowed to excel all other mortals; wherein the justness

of their similes, and the minuteness as well as exactness of their descriptions, are

indeed inimitable. Their verses abound very much in both of these, and usually

contain either some exalted notions of friendship and benevolence, or the praises

of those who were victors in races and other bodily exercises. Their buildings, although very rude and simple, are not inconvenient but well contrived to defend

them from all injuries of cold and heat. They have a kind of tree, which at forty

years old loosens in the root, and falls with the first storm; they grow very straight, and being pointed like stakes with a sharp stone (for the Houyhnhnms

know not the use of iron), they stick them erect in the ground, about ten inches

asunder, and then weave in oat-straw, or sometimes wattles between them. The

roof is made after the same manner, and so are the doors.

The Houyhnhnms use the hollow part between the pastern and the hoof of the

forefoot, as we do our hands, and this with greater dexterity than I could at first

imagine. I have seen a white mare of our family thread a needle (which I lent her

on purpose) with that joint. They milk their cows, reap their oats, and do all the

work which requires hands, in the same manner. They have a kind of hard flints,

which by grinding against other stones, they form into instruments, that serve instead of wedges, axes, and hammers. With tools made of these flints, they

likewise cut their hay, and reap their oats, which there grow naturally in several

fields; the yahoos draw home the sheaves in carriages, and the servants tread them in certain covered huts to get out the grain, which is kept in stores. They

make a rude kind of earthen and wooden vessels, and bake the former in the sun.

If they can avoid casualties, they die only of old age, and are buried in the obscurest places that can be found, their friends and relations expressing neither

joy nor grief at their departure; nor does the dying person discover the least regret that he is leaving the world, any more than if he were upon returning home from a visit to one of his neighbors. I remember my master having once made an appointment with a friend and his family to come to his house, upon some affair of importance: on the day fixed, the mistress and her two children came very late; she made two excuses, first for her husband, who, as she said, happened that very morning to shnuwnh. The word is strongly expressive in their

language, but not easily rendered into English; it signifies, “to retire to his first

mother.” Her excuse for not coming sooner, was, that her husband dying late in

the morning, she was a good while consulting her servants about a convenient place where his body should be laid; and I observed she behaved herself at our

house as cheerfully as the rest; she died about three months after.

They live generally to seventy or seventy-five years, very seldom to fourscore;

some weeks before their death, they feel a gradual decay, but without pain.

During this time they are much visited by their friends, because they cannot go

abroad with their usual ease and satisfaction. However, about ten days before their death, which they seldom fail in computing, they return the visits that have

been made them by those who are nearest in the neighborhood, being carried in a

convenient sledge drawn by yahoos, which vehicle they use, not only upon this

occasion, but when they grow old, upon long journeys, or when they are lamed

by an accident; and therefore, when the dying Houyhnhnms return those visits,

they take a solemn leave of their friends, as if they were going to some remote

part of the country where they designed to pass the rest of their lives.

I know not whether it may be worth observing that the Houyhnhnms have no

word in their language to express anything that is evil, except what they borrow

from the deformities or ill qualities of the yahoos. Thus, they denote the folly of a servant, an omission of a child, a stone that cuts their feet, a continuance of foul or unseasonable weather, and the like, by adding to each the epithet of yahoo. For instance, hhnm yahoo, whnaholm yahoo, ynlhmndwihlma yahoo, and an ill-contrived house, ynholmhnmrohlnw yahoo.

I could, with great pleasure, enlarge farther upon the manners and virtues of this excellent people; but intending in a short time to publish a volume by itself,

expressly upon that subject, I refer the reader thither; and, in the meantime, proceed to relate my own sad catastrophe.

CHAPTER X

THE AUTHOR’S ECONOMY AND HAPPY LIFE AMONG THE HOUYHNHNMS—HIS GREAT

IMPROVEMENT

IN

VIRTUE

BY

CONVERSING

WITH

THEM—THEIR

CONVERSATIONS—THE AUTHOR HAS NOTICE GIVEN HIM BY HIS MASTER THAT

HE MUST DEPART FROM THE COUNTRY—HE FALLS INTO A SWOON FOR GRIEF,

BUT SUBMITS—HE CONTRIVES AND FINISHES A CANOE BY THE HELP OF A

FELLOW SERVANT, AND PUTS TO SEA AT A VENTURE.

I had settled my little economy to my own heart’s content. My master had

ordered a room to be made for me, after their manner, about six yards from the

house, the sides and floors of which I plastered with clay, and covered with rush

mats of my own contriving; I had beaten hemp, which there grows wild, and

made of it a sort of ticking; this I filled with the feathers of several birds I had

taken with springs made of yahoos’ hairs, and were excellent food. I had worked

two chairs with my knife, the sorrel nag helping me in the grosser and more laborious part. When my clothes were worn to rags, I made myself others with

the skins of rabbits, and of a certain beautiful animal, about the same size, called

nnuhnoh, the skin of which is covered with a fine down. Of these I also made very tolerable stockings. I soled my shoes with wood, which I cut from a tree, and fitted to the upper leather; and when this was worn out, I supplied it with the

skins of yahoos dried in the sun. I often got honey out of hollow trees, which I mingled with water, or ate with my bread. No man could more verify the truth of

these two maxims, that nature is very easily satisfied; and that necessity is the mother of invention. I enjoyed perfect health of body, and tranquillity of mind; I

did not find the treachery or inconstancy of a friend, nor the injuries of a secret

or open enemy. I had no occasion of bribing or flattering to procure the favor of

any great man, or of his minion. I wanted no fence against fraud, or oppression;

here was neither physician to destroy my body, nor lawyer to ruin my fortune; no

informer to watch my words and actions, or forge accusations against me for

hire; here were no gibers, censurers, backbiters, pickpockets, highwaymen,

housebreakers, attorneys, buffoons, gamesters, politicians, wits, splenetics,

tedious talkers, controvertists, ravishers, murderers, robbers, virtuosos; no

leaders, or followers, of party and faction; no encouragers to vice, by

seducement or example; no dungeon, axes, gibbets, whipping posts, or pillories;

no cheating shopkeepers, or mechanics; no pride, vanity, or affectation; no fops,

bullies, drunkards; no ranting, expensive wives; no stupid, proud pedants; no

importunate, overbearing, quarrelsome, noisy, roaring, empty, conceited,

swearing companions; no scoundrels raised from the dust for the sake of their

vices, or nobility thrown into it on account of their virtues; no lords, fiddlers, judges, or dancing masters.

I had the favor of being admitted to several Houyhnhnms who came to visit or

dine with my master; where his honor graciously suffered me to wait in the

room, and listen to their discourse. Both he and his company would often

descend to ask me questions, and receive my answers. I had also sometimes the

honor of attending my master in his visits to others. I never presumed to speak,

except in answer to a question; and then I did it with inward regret, because it was a loss of so much time for improving myself: but I was infinitely delighted

with the station of a humble auditor in such conversations, where nothing passed

but what was useful, expressed in the fewest and most significant words; where

the greatest decency was observed without the least degree of ceremony; where

no person spoke without being pleased himself, and pleasing his companions;

where there was no interruption, tediousness, heat, or difference of sentiments.

They have a notion, that when people are met together, a short silence does much

improve conversation; this I found to be true; for during those little intermissions

of talk, new ideas would arise in their minds, which very much enlivened the discourse. Their subjects are generally on friendship and benevolence; on order

and economy; sometimes upon the visible operations of nature, or ancient

traditions; upon the bounds and limits of virtue; upon the unerring rules of reason, or upon some determinations to be taken at the next assembly; and often

upon the various excellencies of poetry. I may add, without vanity, that my

presence often gave them sufficient matter for discourse, because it afforded my

master an occasion of letting his friends into the history of me and my country,

upon which they were all pleased to descant, in a manner not very advantageous

to human kind; and for that reason I shall not repeat what they said; only I may

be allowed to observe, that his honor, to my great admiration, appeared to

understand the nature of yahoos much better than myself. He went through all our vices and follies, and discovered many which I had never mentioned to him,

by only supposing what qualities a yahoo of their country, with a small proportion of reason, might be capable of exerting; and concluded, with too

much probability, how vile, as well as miserable such a creature must be.

I freely confess, that all the little knowledge I have of any value, was acquired

by the lectures I received from my master, and from hearing the discourses of him and his friends; to which I should be prouder to listen, than to dictate to the

greatest and wisest assembly in Europe. I admired the strength, comeliness, and

speed of the inhabitants; and such a constellation of virtues, in such amiable persons, produced in me the highest veneration. At first, indeed, I did not feel

that natural awe which the yahoos and all other animals bear towards them; but it grew upon me by degrees, much sooner than I imagined, and was mingled with a

respectful love and gratitude, that they would condescend to distinguish me from

the rest of my species.

When I thought of my family, my friends, my countrymen, or the human race

in general, I considered them, as they really were, yahoos in shape and disposition, only a little civilized, and qualified with the gift of speech; but making no other use of reason than to improve and multiply those vices, whereof

their brethren in this country had only the share that nature allotted them. When I

happened to behold the reflection of my own form in a lake or a fountain, I turned away my face in horror and detestation of myself; and could better endure

the sight of a common yahoo, than of my own person. By conversing with the Houyhnhnms and looking upon them with delight, I fell to imitate their gait and

gestures, which is now grown into a habit; and my friends often tell me, in a blunt way, that I trot like a horse, which, however, I take for a great compliment;

neither shall I disown, that in speaking I am apt to fall into the voice and manner

of the Houyhnhnms, and hear myself ridiculed on that account without the least

mortification.

In the midst of all this happiness, and when I looked upon myself to be fully

settled for life, my master sent for me one morning a little earlier than his usual

hour. I observed by his countenance that he was in some perplexity, and at a loss

how to begin what he had to speak. After a short silence he told me he did not

know how I would take what he was going to say; that in the last general

assembly, when the affair of the yahoos was entered upon, the representatives had taken offense at his keeping a yahoo (meaning myself) in his family more like a Houyhnhnm than a brute animal. That he was known frequently to

converse with me, as if he could receive some advantage or pleasure in my

company. That such a practice was not agreeable to reason or nature, nor a thing

ever heard of before among them. The assembly did therefore exhort him either

to employ me like the rest of my species, or command me to swim back to the

place whence I came. That the first of these expedients was utterly rejected by all the Houyhnhnms who had ever seen me at his house or their own; for they alleged, that because I had some rudiments of reason, added to the natural

depravity of those animals, it was to be feared I might be able to seduce them into the woody and mountainous parts of the country, and bring them in troops

by night to destroy the Houyhnhnms’ cattle, as being naturally of the ravenous kind, and averse from labor.

My master added that he was daily pressed by the Houyhnhnms of the neighborhood, to have the assembly’s exhortation executed, which he could not

put off much longer. He doubted it would be impossible for me to swim to

another country; and therefore wished I would contrive some sort of a vehicle, resembling those I had described to him, that might carry me on the sea; in which work I should have the assistance of his own servants, as well as those of

his neighbors. He concluded, that for his own part, he could have been content to

keep me in his service as long as I lived; because he found I had cured myself of

some bad habits and dispositions, by endeavoring, as far as my inferior nature was capable, to imitate the Houyhnhnms.

I should here observe to the reader, that a decree of the general assembly in this country is expressed by the word hnhloayn, which signifies an exhortation,

as near as I can render it: for they have no conception how a rational creature can

be compelled, but only advised, or exhorted; because no person can disobey

reason, without giving up his claim to be a rational creature.

I was struck with the utmost grief and despair at my master’s discourse; and

being unable to support the agonies I was under, I fell into a swoon at his feet.

When I came to myself he told me that he concluded I had been dead; for these

people are subject to no such imbecilities of nature. I answered in a faint voice

that death would have been too great a happiness; that although I could not blame the assembly’s exhortation, or the urgency of his friends; yet, in my weak

and corrupt judgment, I thought it might consist with reason to have been less rigorous. That I could not swim a league, and probably the nearest land to theirs

might be distant above a hundred. That many materials necessary for making a

small vessel to carry me off, were wholly wanting in this country; which,

however, I would attempt, in obedience and gratitude to his honor, although I concluded the thing to be impossible, and therefore looked on myself as already

devoted to destruction. That the certain prospect of an unnatural death was the least of my evils; for, supposing I should escape with life by some strange adventure, how could I think with temper of passing my days among yahoos, and relapsing into my old corruptions for want of examples to lead and keep me

within the paths of virtue? That I knew too well upon what solid reasons all the

determinations of the wise Houyhnhnms were founded, not to be shaken by

arguments of mine, a miserable yahoo; and therefore, after presenting him with

my humble thanks for the offer of his servants’ assistance in making a vessel, and desiring a reasonable time for so difficult a work, I told him I would endeavor to preserve a wretched being; and if ever I returned to England, was not without hopes of being useful to my own species, by celebrating the praises

of the renowned Houyhnhnms, and proposing their virtues to the imitation of mankind.

My master, in a few words, made a very gracious reply; allowed me the space

of two months to finish my boat; and ordered the sorrel nag, my fellow servant

(for so at this distance I may presume to call him), to follow my instruction, because I told my master that his help would be sufficient, and I knew he had a

tenderness for me.

In his company, my first business was to go to that part of the coast where my

rebellious crew had ordered me to be set on shore. I got upon a height, and looking on every side into the sea, fancied I saw a small island towards the northeast. I took out my pocket glass, and could then clearly distinguish it about

five leagues off, as I computed; but it appeared to the sorrel nag to be only a blue

cloud: for as he had no conception of any country beside his own, so he could not be as expert in distinguishing remote objects at sea, as we who so much converse in that element.

After I had discovered this island, I considered no farther; but resolved it should, if possible, be the first place of my banishment, leaving the consequence

to fortune.

I returned home, and consulting with the sorrel nag, we went into a copse at

some distance, where I with my knife, and he with a sharp flint, fastened very artificially after their manner to a wooden handle, cut down several oak wattles,

about the thickness of a walking staff, and some larger pieces. But I shall not trouble the reader with a particular description of my own mechanics; let it suffice to say, that in six weeks’ time, with the help of the sorrel nag, who performed the parts that required most labor, I finished a sort of Indian canoe, but much larger, covering it with the skins of yahoos, well stitched together with hempen threads of my own making. My sail was likewise composed of the skins

of the same animal; but I made use of the youngest I could get, the older being

too tough and thick; and I likewise provided myself with four paddles. I laid in a

stock of boiled flesh of rabbits and fowls; and took with me two vessels, one filled with milk and the other with water.

I tried my canoe in a large pond, near my master’s house, and then corrected

in it what was amiss; stopping all the chinks with yahoos’ tallow, till I found it stanch, and able to bear me and my freight; and when it was as complete as I could possibly make it, I had it drawn on a carriage very gently by yahoos to the seaside, under the conduct of the sorrel nag and another servant.

When all was ready, and the day came for my departure, I took leave of my master, and lady, and the whole family, my eyes flowing with tears, and my heart

quite sunk with grief. But his honor, out of curiosity, and perhaps (if I may speak

it without vanity) partly out of kindness, was determined to see me in my canoe;

and got several of his neighboring friends to accompany him. I was forced to wait above an hour for the tide, and then observing the wind very fortunately bearing towards the island to which I intended to steer my course, I took a second leave of my master; but as I was going to prostrate myself to kiss his hoof, he did me the honor to raise it gently to my mouth. I am not ignorant how

much I have been censured for mentioning this last particular. For my detractors

are pleased to think it improbable that so illustrious a person should descend to

give so great a mark of distinction to a creature so inferior as I. Neither have I

forgotten how apt some travelers are to boast of extraordinary favors they have

received. But, if these censurers were better acquainted with the noble and

courteous disposition of the Houyhnhnms, they would soon change their

opinion.

I paid my respects to the rest of the Houyhnhnms in his honor’s company;

then getting into my canoe, I pushed off from the shore.

CHAPTER XI

THE AUTHOR’S DANGEROUS VOYAGE—HE ARRIVES AT NEW HOLLAND, HOPING TO

SETTLE THERE—IS WOUNDED WITH AN ARROW BY ONE OF THE NATIVES—IS

SEIZED AND CARRIED BY FORCE INTO A PORTUGUESE SHIP—THE GREAT

CIVILITIES OF THE CAPTAIN—THE AUTHOR ARRIVES AT ENGLAND.

I began this desperate voyage on February 15, 1714/5, at nine o’clock in the

morning. The wind was very favorable; however, I made use at first only of my

paddles; but considering I should soon be weary, and that the wind might chop

about, I ventured to set up my little sail; and thus, with the help of the tide, I went at the rate of a league and a half an hour, as near as I could guess. My master and his friends continued on the shore till I was almost out of sight; and I

often heard the sorrel nag (who always loved me) crying out, Hnuy illa nyha majah yahoo—“Take care of thyself, gentle yahoo.”

My design was, if possible, to discover some small island uninhabited, yet

sufficient with my labor to furnish me with the necessaries of life, which I would

have thought a greater happiness than to be first minister in the politest court of

Europe; so horrible was the idea I conceived of returning to live in the society and under the government of yahoos. For in such a solitude as I desired, I could at least enjoy my own thoughts, and reflect with delight on the virtues of those

inimitable Houyhnhnms, without any opportunity of degenerating into the vices

and corruptions of my own species.

The reader may remember what I related when my crew conspired against me,

and confined me to my cabin; how I continued there several weeks without

knowing what course we took, and when I was put ashore in the longboat, how

the sailors told me with oaths, whether true or false, that they knew not in what

part of the world we were. However, I did then believe us to be about 10 degrees

southward of the Cape of Good Hope, or about 45 degrees southern latitude, as I

gathered from some general words I overheard among them, being, I supposed,

to the southeast in their intended voyage to Madagascar. And although this were

little better than conjecture, yet I resolved to steer my course eastward, hoping to

reach the southwest coast of New Holland, and perhaps some such island as I desired, lying westward of it. The wind was full west, and by six in the evening I

computed I had gone eastward at least eighteen leagues; when I spied a very small island about half a league off, which I soon reached. It was nothing but a

rock, with one creek naturally arched by the force of tempests. Here I put in my

canoe, and climbing a part of the rock, I could plainly discover land to the east extending from south to north. I lay all night in my canoe, and repeating my voyage early in the morning, I arrived in seven hours to the southwest point of

New Holland. This confirmed me in the opinion I have long entertained, that the

maps and charts place this country at least three degrees more to the east than it

really is; which thought I communicated many years ago to my worthy friend

Mr. Herman Moll, and gave him my reasons for it, although he has rather chosen

to follow other authors.

I saw no inhabitants in the place where I landed, and being unarmed, I was afraid of venturing far into the country. I found some shellfish on the shore, and

ate them raw, not daring to kindle a fire, for fear of being discovered by the natives. I continued three days feeding on oysters and limpets, to save my own

provisions; and I fortunately found a brook of excellent water, which gave me great relief.

On the fourth day, venturing out a little too far, I saw twenty or thirty natives

upon a height not above five hundred yards from me. They were stark naked,

men, women and children round a fire, as I could discover by the smoke. One of

them spied me, and gave notice to the rest; five of them advanced towards me,

leaving the women and children at the fire. I made what haste I could to the shore, and, getting into my canoe, shoved off: the savages, observing me retreat,

ran after me, and before I could get far enough into the sea, discharged an arrow,

which wounded me deeply on the inside of my left knee (I shall carry the mark

to my grave). I apprehended the arrow might be poisoned, and paddling out of the reach of their darts (being a calm day), I made a shift to suck the wound, and

dress it as well as I could.

I was at a loss what to do, for I durst not return to the same landing place, but

stood to the north, and was forced to paddle; for the wind, though very gentle, was against me, blowing northwest. As I was looking about for a secure landing

place, I saw a sail to the north-north-east, which appearing every minute more visible, I was in some doubt whether I should wait for them or not; but at last my

detestation of the yahoo race prevailed; and turning my canoe, I sailed and paddled together to the south, and got into the same creek whence I set out in the

morning, choosing rather to trust myself among these barbarians, than live with

European yahoos. I drew up my canoe as close as I could to the shore, and hid

myself behind a stone by the little brook, which, as I have already said, was excellent water.

The ship came within half a league of this creek, and sent her longboat with

vessels to take in fresh water (for the place, it seems, was very well known), but I did not observe it till the boat was almost on shore; and it was too late to seek

another hiding place. The seamen at their landing observed my canoe, and

rummaging it all over, easily conjectured that the owner could not be far off.

Four of them, well armed, searched every cranny and lurking hole, till at last they found me flat on my face behind the stone. They gazed awhile in

admiration at my strange uncouth dress; my coat made of skins, my wooden

shoes and my furred stockings; whence, however, they concluded I was not a

native of the place, who all go naked. One of the seamen, in Portuguese, bid me

rise, and asked me who I was. I understood that language very well, and getting

upon my feet, said I was a poor yahoo, banished from the Houyhnhnms, and desired they would please to let me depart. They admired to hear me answer

them in their own tongue, and saw by my complexion I must be a European; but

were at a loss to know what I meant by yahoos and Houyhnhnms; and at the same time fell a-laughing at my strange tone in speaking, which resembled the neighing of a horse. I trembled all the while betwixt fear and hatred. I again desired leave to depart, and was gently moving to my canoe; but they laid hold

of me, desiring to know what country I was of, whence I came, with many other

questions. I told them I was born in England, whence I came about five years ago, and then their country and ours were at peace. I therefore hoped they would

not treat me as an enemy, since I meant them no harm; but was a poor yahoo, seeking some desolate place where to pass the remainder of his unfortunate life.

When they began to talk, I thought I never heard or saw anything so

unnatural; for it appeared to me as monstrous as if a dog or a cow should speak

in England, or a yahoo in Houyhnhnmland. The honest Portuguese were equally

amazed at my strange dress, and the odd manner of delivering my words, which,

however, they understood very well. They spoke to me with great humanity, and

said they were sure the captain would carry me gratis to Lisbon, whence I might

return to my own country; that two of the seamen would go back to the ship, inform the captain of what they had seen, and receive his orders; in the

meantime, unless I would give my solemn oath not to fly, they would secure me

by force. I thought it best to comply with their proposal. They were very curious

to know my story, but I gave them very little satisfaction, and they all

conjectured that my misfortunes had impaired my reason. In two hours the boat,

which went laden with vessels of water, returned with the captain’s command to

fetch me on board. I fell on my knees to preserve my liberty; but all was in vain;

and the men having tied me with cords, heaved me into the boat, whence I was

taken into the ship, and thence into the captain’s cabin.

His name was Pedro de Mendez; he was a very courteous and generous person. He entreated me to give some account of myself, and desired to know what I would eat or drink; said I should be used as well as himself; and spoke so

many obliging things, that I wondered to find such civilities from a yahoo.

However, I remained silent and sullen; I was ready to faint at the very smell of

him and his men. At last I desired something to eat out of my own canoe; but he

ordered me a chicken, and some excellent wine, and then directed that I should

be put to bed in a very clean cabin. I would not undress myself, but lay on the

bedclothes, and in half an hour stole out when I thought the crew were at dinner,

and getting to the side of the ship, was going to leap into the sea and swim for

my life, rather than continue among yahoos. But one of the seamen prevented me, and having informed the captain, I was chained to my cabin.

After dinner, Don Pedro came to me, and desired to know my reason for so

desperate an attempt; assured me he only meant to do me all the service he was

able; and spoke so very movingly, that at last I descended to treat him like an animal which had some little portion of reason. I gave him a very short relation

of my voyage; of the conspiracy against me by my own men; of the country

where they set me on shore, and of my five years’ residence there. All which he

looked upon as if it were a dream or a vision; whereat I took great offense; for I

had quite forgot the faculty of lying, so peculiar to yahoos in all countries where they preside, and consequently, the disposition of suspecting truth in others of their own species. I asked him whether it were the custom in his country to say

the thing which was not. I assured him I had almost forgot what he meant by falsehood, and if I had lived a thousand years in Houyhnhnmland, I should never

have heard a lie from the meanest servant; that I was altogether indifferent whether he believed me or no; but however, in return for his favors, I would give

so much allowance to the corruption of his nature, as to answer any objection he

might please to make, and then he might easily discover the truth.

The captain, a wise man, after many endeavors to catch me tripping in some

part of my story, at last began to have a better opinion of my veracity, and the rather because he confessed he met with a Dutch skipper who pretended to have

landed with five others of his crew on a certain island or continent south of New

Holland, where they went for fresh water, and observed a horse driving before him several animals exactly resembling those I described under the name of

yahoos, with some other particulars which the captain said he had forgotten, because he then considered them all to be lies. But he added that since I

professed so inviolable an attachment to truth, I must give him my word and honor to bear him company in this voyage without attempting anything against

my life, or else he would continue to hold me a prisoner till we arrived at Lisbon.

I gave him the required promise, but at the same time I protested that I would suffer the greatest hardships rather than return to live among yahoos.

Our voyage passed without any considerable accident. In gratitude to the

captain, I sometimes sat with him at his earnest request, and strove to conceal my antipathy against human kind, although it often broke out, which he suffered

to pass without observation. But the greatest part of the day I confined myself to

my cabin, to avoid seeing any of the crew. The captain had often entreated me to

strip myself of my savage dress, and offered to lend me the best suit of clothes

he had. This I would not be prevailed on to accept, abhorring to cover myself with anything that had been on the back of a yahoo; I only desired he would lend me two clean shirts, which having been washed since he wore them, I believed

would not so much defile me. These I changed every second day, and washed

them myself.

We arrived at Lisbon, November 5th, 1715. At our landing, the captain forced

me to cover myself with his cloak, to prevent the rabble from crowding about me. I was conveyed to his own house; and at my earnest request he led me up to

the highest room backwards. I conjured him to conceal from all persons what I

had told him of the Houyhnhnms; because the least hint of such a story would not only draw numbers of people to see me, but probably put me in danger of being imprisoned, or burnt by the Inquisition. The captain persuaded me to

accept a suit of clothes newly made, but I would not suffer the tailor to take my

measure; however, Don Pedro being almost of my size, they fitted me well

enough. He accoutered me with other necessaries, all new, which I aired for

twenty-four hours before I would use them.

The captain had no wife, nor above three servants, none of which were

suffered to attend at meals; and his whole deportment was so obliging, added to

very good human understanding, that I really began to tolerate his company. He

gained so far upon me, that I ventured to look out of the back window. By degrees I was brought into another room, whence I peeped into the street, but drew my head back in a fright. In a week’s time he seduced me down to the door.

I found my terror gradually lessened, but my hatred and contempt seemed to

increase. I was at last bold enough to walk the street in his company, but kept my

nose well stopped with rue, and sometimes with tobacco.

In ten days, Don Pedro, to whom I had given some account of my domestic

affairs, put it upon me, as a matter of honor and conscience, that I ought to return

to my native country, and live at home with my wife and children. He told me

there was an English ship in port just ready to sail, and he would furnish me with all things necessary. It would be tedious to repeat his arguments, and my

contradictions. He said it was altogether impossible to find such a solitary island

as I had desired to live in; but I might command in my own house, and pass my

time in a manner as recluse as I pleased.

I complied at last, finding I could do no better. I left Lisbon the 24th day of

November, in an English merchantman, but who was the master I never inquired.

Don Pedro accompanied me to the ship, and lent me twenty pounds. He took

kind leave of me, and embraced me at parting, which I bore as well as I could.

During the last voyage I had no commerce with the master or any of his men; but

pretending I was sick, kept close in my cabin. On the 5th of December, 1715, we

cast anchor at the Downs, about nine in the morning, and at three in the

afternoon I got safe to my house at Redriff.

My wife and family received me with great surprise and joy, because they

concluded me certainly dead; but I must freely confess the sight of them filled me only with hatred, disgust, and contempt, and the more, by reflecting on the

near alliance I had to them. For although, since my unfortunate exile from the Houyhnhnm country, I had compelled myself to tolerate the sight of yahoos, and

to converse with Don Pedro de Mendez, yet my memory and imagination were

perpetually filled with the virtues and ideas of those exalted Houyhnhnms.

As soon as I entered the house, my wife took me in her arms and kissed me; at

which, having not been used to the touch of that odious animal for so many years, I fell into a swoon for almost an hour. At the time I am writing, it is five

years since my last return to England. During the first year, I could not endure

my wife and children in my presence; the smell of them was intolerable; much

less could I suffer them to eat in the same room. To this hour they dare not presume to touch my bread, or drink out of the same cup, neither was I ever able

to let one of them take me by the hand. The first money I laid out was to buy two

young horses, which I keep in a good stable; and next to them the groom is my

greatest favorite; for I feel my spirits revived by the smell he contracts in the stable. My horses understand me tolerably well; I converse with them at least four hours every day. They are strangers to bridle and saddle; they live in great

amity with me, and friendship to each other.

CHAPTER XII

THE AUTHOR’S VERACITY—HIS DESIGN IN PUBLISHING THIS WORK—HIS CENSURE OF

THOSE TRAVELERS WHO SWERVE FROM THE TRUTH—THE AUTHOR CLEARS

HIMSELF FROM ANY SINISTER ENDS IN WRITING—AN OBJECTION ANSWERED—

THE METHOD OF PLANTING COLONIES—HIS NATIVE COUNTRY COMMENDED—

THE RIGHT OF THE CROWN TO THOSE COUNTRIES DESCRIBED BY THE AUTHOR IS

JUSTIFIED—THE DIFFICULTY OF CONQUERING THEM—THE AUTHOR TAKES HIS

LAST LEAVE OF THE READER; PROPOSES HIS MANNER OF LIVING FOR THE

FUTURE; GIVES GOOD ADVICE, AND CONCLUDES.

Thus gentle reader, I have given thee a faithful history of my travels for

sixteen years and above seven months; wherein I have not been so studious of ornament as of truth. I could perhaps, like others, have astonished thee with strange improbable tales; but I rather chose to relate plain matter of fact in the simplest manner and style, because my principal design was to inform, and not

to amuse thee.

It is easy for us to travel into remote countries, which are seldom visited by Englishmen or other Europeans, to form descriptions of wonderful animals both

at sea and land. Whereas a traveler’s chief aim should be to make men wiser and

better, and to improve their minds by the bad, as well as good example, of what

they deliver concerning foreign places.

I could heartily wish a law was enacted, that every traveler, before he were permitted to publish his voyages, should be obliged to make oath before the lord

high chancellor, that all he intended to print was absolutely true to the best of his

knowledge; for then the world would no longer be deceived, as it usually is, while some writers, to make their works pass the better upon the public, impose

the grossest falsities on the unwary reader. I have perused several books of travels with great delight in my younger days; but having since gone over most

parts of the globe, and been able to contradict many fabulous accounts from my

own observation, it has given me a great disgust against this part of reading, and

some indignation to see the credulity of mankind so impudently abused.

Therefore, since my acquaintance were pleased to think my poor endeavors

might not be unacceptable to my country, I imposed on myself as a maxim never

to be swerved from, that I would strictly adhere to truth; neither indeed can I be

ever under the least temptation to vary from it, while I retain in my mind the lectures and example of my noble master and the other illustrious Houyhnhnms

of whom I had so long the honor to be a humble hearer.

... Nec si miserum Fortuna Sinonem

Finxit, vanum etiam, mendacemque improba finget.

I know very well, how little reputation is to be got by writings which require

neither genius nor learning, nor indeed any other talent except a good memory,

or an exact journal. I know likewise, that writers of travels, like dictionary-makers, are sunk into oblivion by the weight and bulk of those who come after,

and therefore lie uppermost. As it is highly probable, that such travelers who shall hereafter visit the countries described in this work of mine, may, by

detecting my errors (if there be any), and adding many new discoveries of their

own, jostle me out of vogue, and stand in my place, making the world forget that

I was ever an author. This indeed would be too great a mortification, if I wrote

for fame; but as my sole intention was the public good, I cannot be altogether disappointed. For who can read of the virtues I have mentioned in the glorious

Houyhnhnms, without being ashamed of his own vices, when he considers

himself as the reasoning, governing animal of his country? I shall say nothing of

those remote nations where the yahoos preside; among which the least corrupted

are the Brobdingnagians, whose wise maxims in morality and government it

would be our happiness to observe. But I forbear descanting farther, and rather

leave the judicious reader to his own remarks and application.

I am not a little pleased that this work of mine can possibly meet with no censurers; for what objections can be made against a writer who relates only plain facts that happened in such distant countries, where we have not the least

interest with respect either to trade or negotiations? I have carefully avoided every fault with which common writers of travels are often too justly charged.

Besides, I meddle not with any party, but write without passion, prejudice, or ill

will against any man, or number of men whatsoever. I write for the noblest end,

to inform and instruct mankind; over whom I may, without breach of modesty,

pretend to some superiority, from the advantages I received by conversing so

long among the most accomplished Houyhnhnms. I write without any view to

profit or praise. I never suffer a word to pass that may look like reflection, or possibly give the least offense, even to those who are most ready to take it. So

that I hope I may with justice pronounce myself an author perfectly blameless;

against whom the tribes of answerers, considerers, observers, reflectors,

detecters, remarkers, will never be able to find matter for exercising their talents.

I confess, it was whispered to me that I was bound in duty, as a subject of England, to have given in a memorial to a secretary of state at my first coming

over; because whatever lands are discovered by a subject, belong to the crown.

But I doubt whether our conquests in the countries I treat of, would be as easy as those of Ferdinando Cortez over the naked Americans. The Lilliputians, I think,

are hardly worth the charge of a fleet and an army to reduce them; and I question

whether it might be prudent or safe to attempt the Brobdingnagians; or whether

an English army would be much at their ease with the Flying Island over their heads. The Houyhnhnms indeed appear not to be so well prepared for war, a

science to which they are perfect strangers, and especially against missive

weapons. However, supposing myself to be a minister of state, I could never give

my advice for invading them. Their prudence, unanimity, unacquaintedness with

fear, and their love of their country, would amply supply all defects in the military art. Imagine twenty thousand of them breaking into the midst of a

European army, confounding the ranks, overturning the carriages, battering the

warriors’ faces into mummy by terrible yerks from their hinder hoofs; for they would well deserve the character given to Augustus, Recalcitrat undique tutus.

But instead of proposals for conquering that magnanimous nation, I rather wish

they were in a capacity, or disposition, to send a sufficient number of their inhabitants for civilizing Europe, by teaching us the first principles of honor, justice, truth, temperance, public spirit, fortitude, chastity, friendship,

benevolence, and fidelity. The names of all which virtues are still retained

among us in most languages, and are to be met with in modern as well as ancient

authors; which I am able to assert from my own small reading.

But I had another reason, which made me less forward to enlarge his majesty’s

dominions by my discoveries. To say the truth, I had conceived a few scruples with relation to the distributive justice of princes upon those occasions. For instance, a crew of pirates are driven by a storm they know not whither; at length

a boy discovers land from the topmast; they go on shore to rob and plunder; they

see a harmless people; are entertained with kindness; they give the country a new name; they take formal possession of it for their king; they set up a rotten

plank, or a stone, for a memorial; they murder two or three dozen of the natives,

bring away a couple more by force, for a sample; return home, and get their pardon. Here commences a new dominion, acquired with a title by divine right.

Ships are sent with the first opportunity; the natives driven out, or destroyed; their princes tortured to discover their gold; a free license given to all acts of inhumanity and lust, the earth reeking with the blood of its inhabitants; and this

execrable crew of butchers, employed in so pious an expedition, is a modern

colony, sent to convert and civilize an idolatrous and barbarous people.

But this description, I confess, does by no means affect the British nation, who

may be an example to the whole world for their wisdom, care, and justice in

planting colonies; their liberal endowments for the advancement of religion and learning; their choice of devout and able pastors to propagate Christianity; their

caution in stocking their provinces with people of sober lives and conversations

from this the mother kingdom; their strict regard to the distribution of justice, in

supplying the civil administration through all their colonies with officers of the

greatest abilities, utter strangers to corruption; and, to crown all, by sending the

most vigilant and virtuous governors, who have no other views than the

happiness of the people over whom they preside, and the honor of the king their

master.

But as those countries which I have described, do not appear to have any

desire of being conquered and enslaved, murdered or driven out, by colonies; nor

abound either in gold, silver, sugar, or tobacco; I did humbly conceive, they were

by no means proper objects of our zeal, our valor or our interest. However, if those whom it more concerns think fit to be of another opinion, I am ready to depose, when I shall be lawfully called, that no European did ever visit those countries before me. I mean, if the inhabitants ought to be believed, unless a dispute may arise concerning the two yahoos, said to have been seen many years

ago upon a mountain in Houyhnhnmland, whence the opinion is, that the race of

those brutes has descended; and these, for anything I know, may have been

English. This, indeed, I was apt to suspect from the lineaments of their

posterity’s countenances, although they were much defaced. But how far that

will go toward making out a title, I leave to the learned in colony law.

But as to the formality of taking possession in my sovereign’s name, it never

came once into my thoughts; and if it had, yet, as my affairs then stood, I should

perhaps, in point of prudence and self-preservation, have put it off to a better opportunity.

Having thus answered the only objection that can ever be raised against me as

a traveler, I here take a final leave of all my courteous readers, and return to enjoy my own speculations in my little garden at Redriff; to apply those

excellent lessons of virtue which I learned among the Houyhnhnms; to instruct

the yahoos of my own family, as far as I shall find them docile animals; to behold my figure often in a glass, and thus, if possible, habituate myself by time

to tolerate the sight of a human creature; to lament the brutality of Houyhnhnms

in my own country, but always treat their persons with respect, for the sake of my noble master, his family, his friends, and the whole Houyhnhnm race, whom

these of ours have the honor to resemble in all their lineaments, however their intellectuals came to degenerate.

I began last week to permit my wife to sit at dinner with me, at the farthest end of a long table; and to answer (but with the utmost brevity) the few

questions I asked her. Yet the smell of a yahoo continuing very offensive, I always keep my nose well stopped with rue, lavender, or tobacco leaves. And

although it be hard for a man late in life to remove old habits, I am not altogether

out of hopes, in some time, to suffer a neighbor yahoo in my company, without

the apprehensions I am yet under of his teeth or his claws.

My reconcilement to the yahoo kind in general might not be so difficult, if they would be content with those vices and follies only, which nature has entitled

them to. I am not in the least provoked at the sight of a lawyer, a pickpocket, a

colonel, a fool, a lord, a gamester, a politician, a physician, an evidence, a suborner, an attorney, a traitor, or the like; this is all according to the due course

of things: but when I behold a lump of deformity and diseases, both in body and

mind, smitten with pride, it immediately breaks all the measures of my patience;

neither shall I be ever able to comprehend how such an animal, and such a vice,

could tally together. The wise and virtuous Houyhnhnms, who abound in all the

excellencies that can adorn a rational creature, have no name for this vice in their

language; which has no terms to express anything that is evil, except those

whereby they describe the detestable qualities of their yahoos; among which they were not able to distinguish this of pride for want of thoroughly

understanding human nature, as it shows itself in other countries where that

animal presides. But I, who had more experience, could plainly observe some

rudiments of it among the wild yahoos.

But the Houyhnhnms, who live under the government of reason, are no more

proud of the good qualities they possess than I should be for not wanting a leg or

an arm; which no man in his wits would boast of, although he must be miserable

without them. I dwell the longer upon this subject, from the desire I have to make the society of an English yahoo by any means not insupportable; and therefore I here entreat those who have any tincture of this absurd vice, that they

will not presume to come in my sight.

THE END

*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK GULLIVER'S

TRAVELS ***

Updated editions will replace the previous one—the old editions will be

renamed.

Creating the works from print editions not protected by U.S. copyright law

means that no one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the

Foundation (and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without

permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth in the

General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to copying and distributing

Project Gutenberg™ electronic works to protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG™

concept and trademark. Project Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not

be used if you charge for an eBook, except by following the terms of the

trademark license, including paying royalties for use of the Project Gutenberg

trademark. If you do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the trademark license is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any

purpose such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and

research. Project Gutenberg eBooks may be modified and printed and given

away--you may do practically ANYTHING in the United States with eBooks not

protected by U.S. copyright law. Redistribution is subject to the trademark

license, especially commercial redistribution.

START: FULL LICENSE

THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE

PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK

To protect the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting the free distribution of

electronic works, by using or distributing this work (or any other work

associated in any way with the phrase “Project Gutenberg”), you agree to

comply with all the terms of the Full Project Gutenberg™ License available with

this file or online at www.gutenberg.org/license.

Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project

Gutenberg™ electronic works

1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg™ electronic work,

you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to and accept all the terms of

this license and intellectual property (trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do

not agree to abide by all the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and

return or destroy all copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in your

possession. If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project

Gutenberg™ electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the terms of

this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or entity to whom you

paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8.

1.B. “Project Gutenberg” is a registered trademark. It may only be used on or

associated in any way with an electronic work by people who agree to be bound

by the terms of this agreement. There are a few things that you can do with most

Project Gutenberg™ electronic works even without complying with the full

terms of this agreement. See paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you

can do with Project Gutenberg™ electronic works if you follow the terms of this

agreement and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg™ electronic

works. See paragraph 1.E below.

1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation (“the Foundation” or

PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project Gutenberg™

electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the collection are in the

public domain in the United States. If an individual work is unprotected by

copyright law in the United States and you are located in the United States, we

do not claim a right to prevent you from copying, distributing, performing,

displaying or creating derivative works based on the work as long as all

references to Project Gutenberg are removed. Of course, we hope that you will

support the Project Gutenberg™ mission of promoting free access to electronic

works by freely sharing Project Gutenberg™ works in compliance with the

terms of this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg™ name associated

with the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by

keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project Gutenberg™

License when you share it without charge with others.

1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern what you

can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in a constant state of

change. If you are outside the United States, check the laws of your country in

addition to the terms of this agreement before downloading, copying, displaying,

performing, distributing or creating derivative works based on this work or any

other Project Gutenberg™ work. The Foundation makes no representations

concerning the copyright status of any work in any country other than the United

States.

1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg:

1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate access to,

the full Project Gutenberg™ License must appear prominently whenever any

copy of a Project Gutenberg™ work (any work on which the phrase “Project

Gutenberg” appears, or with which the phrase “Project Gutenberg” is associated)

is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, copied or distributed:

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere in the United States and most

other parts of the world at no cost and with almost no restrictions

whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of

the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at

www.gutenberg.org. If you are not located in the United States, you will

have to check the laws of the country where you are located before using this eBook.

1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is derived from texts

not protected by U.S. copyright law (does not contain a notice indicating that it

is posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied and

distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees or charges. If

you are redistributing or providing access to a work with the phrase “Project

Gutenberg” associated with or appearing on the work, you must comply either

with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for

the use of the work and the Project Gutenberg™ trademark as set forth in

paragraphs 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg™ electronic work is posted with the

permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution must comply with

both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional terms imposed by the

copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked to the Project Gutenberg™

License for all works posted with the permission of the copyright holder found at

the beginning of this work.

1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg™ License

terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this work or any other

work associated with Project Gutenberg™.

1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this electronic

work, or any part of this electronic work, without prominently displaying the

sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with active links or immediate access to the

full terms of the Project Gutenberg™ License.

1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, compressed,

marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any word processing

or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or distribute copies of a

Project Gutenberg™ work in a format other than “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other

format used in the official version posted on the official Project Gutenberg™

website (www.gutenberg.org), you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to

the user, provide a copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a

copy upon request, of the work in its original “Plain Vanilla ASCII” or other

form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg™ License as

specified in paragraph 1.E.1.

1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg™ works unless you comply with

paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9.

1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing access to or

distributing Project Gutenberg™ electronic works provided that:

• You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from the use of

Project Gutenberg™ works calculated using the method you already use to

calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is owed to the owner of the Project

Gutenberg™ trademark, but he has agreed to donate royalties under this

paragraph to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty

payments must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you

prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax returns. Royalty

payments should be clearly marked as such and sent to the Project Gutenberg

Literary Archive Foundation at the address specified in Section 4, “Information

about donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation.”

• You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies you in

writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he does not agree to the

terms of the full Project Gutenberg™ License. You must require such a user to

return or destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium and

discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of Project Gutenberg™

works.

• You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any money

paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the electronic work is

discovered and reported to you within 90 days of receipt of the work.

• You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free distribution of

Project Gutenberg™ works.

1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg™ electronic

work or group of works on different terms than are set forth in this agreement,

you must obtain permission in writing from the Project Gutenberg Literary

Archive Foundation, the manager of the Project Gutenberg™ trademark. Contact

the Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below.

1.F.

1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable effort to

identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread works not protected

by U.S. copyright law in creating the Project Gutenberg™ collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, and the medium on which

they may be stored, may contain “Defects,” such as, but not limited to,

incomplete, inaccurate or corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other

intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium,

a computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by your

equipment.

1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the

“Right of Replacement or Refund” described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project

Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project Gutenberg™

trademark, and any other party distributing a Project Gutenberg™ electronic

work under this agreement, disclaim all liability to you for damages, costs and

expenses, including legal fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO

REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT LIABILITY, BREACH OF

WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE PROVIDED

IN PARAGRAPH 1.F.3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE

TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS

AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT,

INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES

EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGE.

1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a

defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can receive a

refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a written explanation to

the person you received the work from. If you received the work on a physical

medium, you must return the medium with your written explanation. The person

or entity that provided you with the defective work may elect to provide a

replacement copy in lieu of a refund. If you received the work electronically, the

person or entity providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity

to receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy is also

defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further opportunities to

fix the problem.

1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth in paragraph

1.F.3, this work is provided to you ‘AS-IS’, WITH NO OTHER WARRANTIES

OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED

TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY

PURPOSE.

1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. If any disclaimer or

limitation set forth in this agreement violates the law of the state applicable to

this agreement, the agreement shall be interpreted to make the maximum

disclaimer or limitation permitted by the applicable state law. The invalidity or

unenforceability of any provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining

provisions.

1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the

trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone providing

copies of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works in accordance with this

agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, promotion and

distribution of Project Gutenberg™ electronic works, harmless from all liability,

costs and expenses, including legal fees, that arise directly or indirectly from any

of the following which you do or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any

Project Gutenberg™ work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions

to any Project Gutenberg™ work, and (c) any Defect you cause.

Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg™

Project Gutenberg™ is synonymous with the free distribution of electronic

works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers including obsolete,

old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists because of the efforts of hundreds

of volunteers and donations from people in all walks of life.

Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the assistance they

need are critical to reaching Project Gutenberg™’s goals and ensuring that the

Project Gutenberg™ collection will remain freely available for generations to

come. In 2001, the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created

to provide a secure and permanent future for Project Gutenberg™ and future

generations. To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive

Foundation and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4

and the Foundation information page at www.gutenberg.org.

Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary

Archive Foundation

The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non-profit 501(c)(3)

educational corporation organized under the laws of the state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal Revenue Service. The Foundation’s

EIN or federal tax identification number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the

Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full

extent permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state’s laws.

The Foundation’s business office is located at 809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake

City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887. Email contact links and up to date contact

information can be found at the Foundation’s website and official page at

www.gutenberg.org/contact

Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg

Literary Archive Foundation

Project Gutenberg™ depends upon and cannot survive without widespread

public support and donations to carry out its mission of increasing the number of

public domain and licensed works that can be freely distributed in machine-

readable form accessible by the widest array of equipment including outdated

equipment. Many small donations ($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to

maintaining tax exempt status with the IRS.

The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating charities

and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United States. Compliance

requirements are not uniform and it takes a considerable effort, much paperwork

and many fees to meet and keep up with these requirements. We do not solicit

donations in locations where we have not received written confirmation of

compliance. To SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for

any particular state visit www.gutenberg.org/donate.

While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we have not

met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition against accepting

unsolicited donations from donors in such states who approach us with offers to

donate.

International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make any

statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from outside the

United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff.

Please check the Project Gutenberg web pages for current donation methods and

addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other ways including checks, online payments and credit card donations. To donate, please visit:

www.gutenberg.org/donate

Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg™

electronic works

Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg™ concept

of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared with anyone. For

forty years, he produced and distributed Project Gutenberg™ eBooks with only a

loose network of volunteer support.

Project Gutenberg™ eBooks are often created from several printed editions, all

of which are confirmed as not protected by copyright in the U.S. unless a

copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily keep eBooks in

compliance with any particular paper edition.

Most people start at our website which has the main PG search facility:

www.gutenberg.org.

This website includes information about Project Gutenberg™, including how to

make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, how to

help produce our new eBooks, and how to subscribe to our email newsletter to

hear about new eBooks.

Document Outline

- GULLIVER’S TRAVELS

- THE CONTENTS

- THE LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

- A BIOGRAPHICAL NOTE

- A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT

- CHAPTER I

- CHAPTER II

- CHAPTER III

- CHAPTER IV

- CHAPTER V

- CHAPTER VI

- CHAPTER VII

- CHAPTER VIII

- A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG

- CHAPTER I

- CHAPTER II

- CHAPTER III

- CHAPTER IV

- CHAPTER V

- CHAPTER VI

- CHAPTER VII

- CHAPTER VIII

- A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI, LUGGNAGG, GLUBBDUBDRIB, AND JAPAN

- CHAPTER I

- CHAPTER II

- CHAPTER III

- CHAPTER IV

- CHAPTER V

- CHAPTER VI

- CHAPTER VII

- CHAPTER VIII

- CHAPTER IX

- CHAPTER X

- CHAPTER XI

- A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS

- CHAPTER I

- CHAPTER II

- CHAPTER III

- CHAPTER IV

- CHAPTER V

- CHAPTER VI

- CHAPTER VII

- CHAPTER VIII

- CHAPTER IX

- CHAPTER X

- CHAPTER XI

- CHAPTER XII

Table of Contents

GULLIVER’S TRAVELS

THE CONTENTS

THE LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

A BIOGRAPHICAL NOTE

A VOYAGE TO LILLIPUT

CHAPTER I

CHAPTER II

CHAPTER III

CHAPTER IV

CHAPTER V

CHAPTER VI

CHAPTER VII

CHAPTER VIII

CHAPTER I

CHAPTER II

CHAPTER III

CHAPTER IV

CHAPTER V

CHAPTER VI

CHAPTER VII

CHAPTER VIII

A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG

CHAPTER I

CHAPTER II

CHAPTER III

CHAPTER IV

CHAPTER V

CHAPTER VI

CHAPTER VII

CHAPTER VIII

CHAPTER I

CHAPTER II

CHAPTER III

CHAPTER IV

CHAPTER V

CHAPTER VI

CHAPTER VII

CHAPTER VIII

A VOYAGE TO LAPUTA, BALNIBARBI, LUGGNAGG, GLUBBDUBDRIB, AND JAPAN

CHAPTER I

CHAPTER II

CHAPTER III

CHAPTER IV

CHAPTER V

CHAPTER VI

CHAPTER VII

CHAPTER VIII

CHAPTER IX

CHAPTER X

CHAPTER XI

CHAPTER I

CHAPTER II

CHAPTER III

CHAPTER IV

CHAPTER V

CHAPTER VI

CHAPTER VII

CHAPTER VIII

CHAPTER IX

CHAPTER X

CHAPTER XI

A VOYAGE TO THE COUNTRY OF THE HOUYHNHNMS

CHAPTER I

CHAPTER II

CHAPTER III

CHAPTER IV

CHAPTER V

CHAPTER VI

CHAPTER VII

CHAPTER VIII

CHAPTER IX

CHAPTER X

CHAPTER XI

CHAPTER XII

CHAPTER I

CHAPTER II

CHAPTER III

CHAPTER IV

CHAPTER V

CHAPTER VI

CHAPTER VII

CHAPTER VIII

CHAPTER IX

CHAPTER X

CHAPTER XI

CHAPTER XII